Fried Money, Anyone?

Hey folks! L1701E here with a brand new fic for you starring everyone's favorite elite anti-terrorist team of soldiers, GI Joe, and their wards, everyone's favorite team of military-trained teenage mutants, the original Misfits! As with "Cobra Stops the World (NOT!)", I based this on an old GI Joe episode. It was one of my favorite episodes, and it screamed for a "Misfit-ization". I hope you enjoy this updating of a classic!

Disclaimer: All characters belong to me, Red Witch, Marvel Comics, and Hasbro Entertainment. Anyway, here's your quote: "Even if it means harming my Silkie." - Starfire, Teen Titans

Chapter 1: Cobra Craziness

Nighttime, a big city

The night loomed over a city's streets. On this occasion, the name of the city was of no importance. It was also unimportant to tell anything special about this city. All that mattered was the action happening during this quiet night in the city. Several people, clad in black from head to toe, including ski masks and gloves, were pilfering various rare valuables from various antique dealers, museums, and jewelry stores. The robbers all made a getaway in a black van.

"I can't believe that you took a bunch of comic books!" The driver snapped to the passenger.

"Hey, these things are worth a lot of money! These are Captain Nebula issues 154 and 155 from 1980! These are rare issues, and in this condition, they are worth at least 50,000 bucks! MWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OW!" He got smacked in the back of the head by a thief sitting in the back.

"You're a twit, you know that?" The thief said to the one in the passenger seat. Her voice indicated she was female.

"Just because I have a hobby that doesn't involve dead people, that does not mean you have any right to judge me!" The passenger seat thief snapped at the female thief.

"I like horror movies, okay?" The female thief snapped back.

"Yo, why don't you two just admit you like each other?" A voice said from the back.

"Shut up!" The passenger snapped.

"All of you idiots, knock it off! I'm trying to think!" The driver snapped. "Let's just head to the wharf and get our cash. We're all gonna have filet mignon and champagne tonight!"

"YAY!" The thieves all whooped happily.

A wharf, later that night

"Where are…" Xamot started. He was holding a briefcase full of money. The twin Crimson Guard Commanders were dressed in their blue Cobra uniforms.

"…those goofballs?" Tomax finished, looking at his watch impatiently. "I hope they didn't…"

"…decide to stop off at a McDonalds and buy Happy Meals again." Xamot grumbled. "Here they come now."

"If they did buy Happy Meals…" Tomax started.

"…they better have bought some for us." Xamot finished. The three thieves arrived and unmasked, revealing two guys: One with a blond mullet and one with short brown hair, and the third revealed herself to be a brunette woman with short hair. They took the merchandise, which was in a bag, and placed it in front of the two twins.

"We did the job, now where's our payment?" The blond snapped.

"We must check out…" Xamot started.

"…the merchandise first." Tomax finished, looking through the merchandise with his brother. "Ooh! Two rare issues of Captain Nebula! These are worth a bundle alone!"

"See? I told you." The brown-haired thief nudged the blond thief. The blond thief rolled his eyes. Xamot and Tomax nodded approvingly at the merchandise.

"You have…" Xamot started with a satisfied smirk.

"…failed to disappoint us." Tomax smiled. Xamot gave the thieves the briefcase. "I hope our future business endeavors…"

"…with you will be just as profitable." Xamot finished.

"Uh huh. You too, I guess." The female thief took the briefcase. What a couple of weird talkers. Maybe they're those mutant thingamajigs I hear about on TV a lot. The three thieves noticed an armored truck barrel towards them. "Look out!" They scattered. Tomax and Xamot expertly flipped over the truck. They watched the truck barrel down the pier, but it managed to stop before it hit the ground. The Crimson Guard Twins looked at each other.

"Rey Mysterio don't got squat on us!" The twins grinned, and then they high-fived. The driver of the van emerged and ran up to the two Cobra Command members.

"Sirs! The truck is ready for your usage." The driver reported. The twin Crimson Guard Commanders nodded in a satisfied manner.

"Here you go." Tomax and Xamot handed the two old Captain Nebula comic books to the driver.

"Sweet! Captain Nebula issues 154 and 155! I got the whole run now! WHAAAAA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!" The driver ran away, cackling like a lunatic. Tomax and Xamot stared at the cackling driver.

"That man needs help." They chorused.

The Extensive EnterprisesBuilding

Tomax and Xamot drove into their building, one of many across the world. They went up to their offices in a private elevator. Once inside, they changed from their Cobra uniforms to blue business suits with white shirts and yellow ties. One twin had a red rose on his lapel, to help differentiate between them.

"Ric Flair…" Tomax started with a smile.

"…hasn't got anything on us!" Xamot finished with a grin. The twins high-fived, grabbed their cases, and left their offices.

"We're going out for the day." They said to their six secretaries. "Hold all our calls."

"Yes, sirs." The secretaries replied in unison.

A mountain top

A Cobra Rattler, piloted by Tomax and Xamot, flew towards the Cobra base situated there. The base looked like a huge orange building with a huge angular cobra head on it.

A laboratory inside the Cobra Base

"Destro!" Serpentor yelled out. Destro turned from a device and saw Serpentor III walk in, accompanied by Tomax and Xamot. "Is my new device ready?"

"Serpentor, the Thermal Molecular Ignition Tramsmitter is ready and…" He noticed a grumbling Xamot and Tomax. They were covered in eggs. "Good God! What in the world happened to them?" The steel-masked Scotsman pointed at the twins.

"Virus…" Tomax grumbled.

"Zanya…" Xamot added.

"I…see…" Destro blinked. Crashing was heard. "What?" Several Cobra Viper troopers could be seen brawling as they passed by. "Oh God. I knew I should've stayed in bed today."

Well, well, well! Looks like Cobra's up to something new! What insanity will happen next? What's Cobra's newest scheme? What is the Thermal Molecular Ignition Transmitter? Can our heroes stop it? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!