Fried Money, Anyone?

To RogueFanKC: Hey there, RogueFan! The episode this story is based on is called "Money to Burn", and it's a good episode. Yeah, I believe a Misfit will one day beat Ace in poker, as well. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can't wait for the new chapter of "X Kat: The Mutant Squadron"!

To Aaron: Hey there Aaron! Poor old Ace, he was so in the green. He's really going to go after Cobra for that. You have to admit, poker is a great way to do some good old fashioned male bonding between the male Misfits and the male Joes. Yeah, I can imagine Althea wanting to play strip poker. I can also imagine her losing on purpose to show Toad what he managed to get. You bet it's going to be fun! Enjoy the new chapter!

To todd fan: Hey there todd fan! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Slugs and Snails", "Welcome to the Enchanted Land", "Little Shop of Mutants", and "X-Men: Evolution, the Musical"!

To Red Witch: Hey there, Red Witch! Yeah, it's not a good idea to teach Todd to play poker. I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Enjoy the new one, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Valor, Venom, and Other Stuff", and "Memories Are Made of This"!

To Raliena: Hey there, Rae! Glad you liked the last chapter! How will our heroes get their money back? You'll see! Enjoy the new chapter!

Disclaimer: "Somebody's baking brownies!" - Eric Cartman, South Park

Chapter 3: Communication Chaos!

The Pit communications room

General Hawk walked into the Pit's communications room. Accompanying him was Ace, Ripcord, Alpine, Roadblock, Toad, and Avalanche.

"Breaker, you called?" Hawk asked a green-uniformed Joe sitting at a console. Breaker was a radio operator, and he was one of the original 13 GI Joes.

"Yeah, General. I think I may have figured out why everyone's money vaporized GAH!" Breaker stated. He was interrupted by Ace angrily grabbing him by the front of his shirt and pulling Breaker's face up to Ace's own.

"You had better have found out what happened to my winnings, or else, I swear to God, I will stick my foot so far down your throat, I will be using you as a legwarmer!" He hissed to a very scared Breaker in a very threatening manner. Ace was almost drooling in rage. He then started shaking Breaker. "DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME? I WANT MY MONEY! I WANT MY MONEY!"

"Calm down, Ace!" Alpine and Roadblock separated the scared, shaking Breaker and incensed, screaming Ace.

"Man, he's crazy, yo." Todd remarked to Lance. The geokinetic nodded.

"No kidding." Lance agreed. "But how would you feel if your poker winnings suddenly vaporized?"

"Good point." Todd admitted. Breaker got back to his seat.

"Ace, you can go ballistic over your poker winnings later!" Hawk snapped. "In fact, I banned gambling in the Pit!"

"RAAAAAAAAAH!" The roar was Ace's only response.

"Uhhh-huh." Hawk winced. He turned to Breaker. "What've you got, Breaker?"

"Well…" The radio man cleared his throat and shook himself a little to get rid of the shivers. "We got a transmission come in from Serpentor, the King of Snakes himself."

"People of the United States…" Serpentor put on his best 'evil dictator' look for the camera. "I…" He was interrupted by a crash. "Oh now what in the motherfu-AGH!" Serpentor got hit in the face by a hammer that appeared to be a large cinder block with a pipe through it.

"Ginger!" Torch appeared on the screen, shoving Gnawgahyde.

"Mary Ann!" Gnawgahyde shoved back.

"Ginger!"

"Mary Ann!"

"Ginger!"

"Mary Ann!"

"Hey, we're on TV!" Torch noticed. "Hey!" Gnawgahyde shoved him off the screen.

"Hello, Sheilas!" Gnawgahyde put on his sexiest smile. "Me name's Gnawgahyde. I'm single, I'm a gentleman, and I love to mingle. I'm a simple man who enjoys poaching, mayhem, and destruction, and nothing would make my poaching more worthwhile than if I had a beautiful Sheila by me side while I did it!"

"Yeah right!" Torch laughed, shoving the Australian bald Dreadnok off screen, much to his chagrin. "Hello, folks. I'm Tom Winken, but most know me as a professional criminal and all around fire-spewing evil Dreadnok called Torch. Well, I want to announce a brand new drink…" He held up a can and cracked a big grin. "Uncle Winken's grape soda! All the flavor and taste you expect from those big name sodas, but only a fraction of the price! This is made using only the finest ingredients, and there's even a non-alcoholic version for the kiddies! This is the official drink of the Dreadnoks, and it's available in all fine stores! So-HEY!"

"RAAAAGH!" Serpentor appeared on the screen, Road Pig's hammer raised above his head. He was just about to bring it down on Torch's head when the screen changed to a blue screen with the Cobra insignia on it in red and the message. "Please excuse the inconvenience. We're experiencing technical difficulties," in white letters. The sounds of screams and a fight could be heard. The Joes and Misfits burst out laughing, while Hawk just blinked at the screen in confusion. After a minute, the screen went back to Serpentor.

"And stay out! I don't know why I keep you dolts around! I have no idea why I pay you anymore!" Serpentor roared. He cleared his throat and turned back to the screen. "Anyway, people of the United States of America, your continued irresponsibility with your finances has forced me as your future emperor to wipe out your currency as a first step to create a new world order. More to come." A crash was heard.

"WHERE'S MY HAMMER?" Road Pig could be heard roaring off screen.

"Oh for the love of-" Serpentor muttered under his breath.

The Department of the Treasury

"We want money! We want money! We want money! We want money!" A crowd of several thousand chanted outside the Department of the Treasury building. Inside, Flint, Lady Jaye, Starchild, and Starway were listening to the manager of currency production explain his problem.

"The riot outside is growing worse every minute, demanding money." The manager said. "The problem is, we can't answer their demands! If we make more money, Serpentor will vaporize it!"

"Man, that is a problem." Starchild said. Real name Paul Starr, Starchild was a teenage mutant with the power to fire a purple laser from his right eye and the ability to hypnotize people.

"Can't you just use your hypnotic powers to calm them down?" Starway asked. Starway was a black-haired teenage girl named Lila Cheney, who had the mutant power to teleport interstellar distances in the blink of an eye.

"All that hissing lunatic has to do now is wait." Lady Jaye realized.

"Yeah." Flint nodded in agreement. "And he'll wait for the world to fall into chaos. Once there, it'll fall right into that hissing freak's hands…uh…no offense, kids."

"None taken." Paul and Lila said together.

"Besides, Serpentor gives us freaks a bad name." Lila grumbled.

Well, well, well! Looks like the Cobra gang are going to be in some big trouble! What insanity will happen next? Can our heroes stop Cobra's scheme? What is their scheme? And will Serpentor ever be able to do a decent transmission? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!