Chapter 2: Anyone But Her (Randy's POV)

A/N: Just wanna say thanks to everyone that reviewed! I didn't expect such a response to the first chapter, in fact I expected it to be ignored and that I'd have toss this story into the Recycle Bin, but...wow. I'm totally blown away. Thanks for the reviews, all, and keep 'em coming (be it a good review or constructive criticism) if you want to make sure that I don't wind up deleting this story due to lack of response, LOL. Each and every review is really special to me so...thank you!

Cold-Zephyr

Wow, she's cute.

Tall, blonde, and man, she's got a pretty face. She catches my eye right as I retreat backstage after losing my title to that bastard, Triple H. It's injustice, I tell you, injustice with a capital I! But anyway, seeing the lovely blonde lady in the miniskirt and halter top standing by the lockers and talking to her redhead friend makes me (momentarily) forget about my frustration over losing. It's time I work my trademark Randy Orton charm on this babe.

Step 1: Smile my sexy grin at the chosen target. I do just that, only to have her scowl at me. That's weird...no girl has ever resisted my charms before. Maybe it's her weird way of showing she likes me?

Okay, proceed to Step 2 anyway: Approach the target and ask her out. She's still scowling as I saunter over to her. "Hey, sweet thing...how about you and me go out for some drinks tonight?"

"Go away, loser." The girl's burning holes into my head with her venomous glare while her redhead friend blankly stares on.

Hag. NOBODY turns Randy Orton down! Who does she think she is, anyway? I can't believe I even bothered wasting my time on her. The prude isn't even worth my effort, and besides, I don't go for flat-chested chicks. Ugh. So much for Step 3: Bring her home and bang her till her eyes roll back in her head.

A frown has replaced the grin on my face as I trudge back to the men's locker room, where I'm greeted by my ally and mentor (since being stabbed in the back by the bastards that make up Evolution), Chris Benoit. "Hey, Randy, you stud! I got news for you."

"Yeah?"

He's grinning ear to ear. "Bischoff told me to tell you about it. It's a new storyline, kid. A romantic storyline."

Really? Just what I need then! A hot chick to stay by my side and aid me as I kick all of Evolution's asses and gain my title back! Apparently, his mood is infectious, as I find myself smiling as well. "Does this include making out with a major babe on national TV?"

"Yep," he replied, "all that and more!"

"Awesome! Who's the Diva?"

"That's the best part, kiddo. It's Stacy Keibler!"

Gee, that doesn't seem to ring a bell. "Uh...Stacy who?"

"Stacy f'ing Keibler, you dimwit! The sexiest Diva of them all! Tall, slim, beautiful, with long blonde hair..."

Oh. OH NO. Now I remember...it's that total prude who turned me down! Don't tell me I'm gonna be stuck in a storyline with her? This can't be happening. Lady Luck doesn't seem to be on my side tonight. "You mean the flat-chested one?"

Please say "no," Chris, please...oh, god save me! "Well, she's more well-known for her long legs, but I guess you're on the right track."

OH GOOD GOD, NO! Why? Why have the heavens forsaken poor, poor Randall Keith Orton? No. I gotta be dreaming. Yeah, that's it...this is all just a horrible, horrible dream, and I'm gonna wake up the next morning in my bed still the World Heavyweight Champion, and more importantly, not caught up in this awful mess.

Chris snaps his fingers in front of me to regain my attention. "Randy? Randy, you don't look too happy."

"How in the world can I possibly be happy? I'm about to share an on-screen romance with the last woman in the world that I'd want to share it with!"

He looked confused. "What's wrong with Stacy Keibler?"

"She turned me down for a date and called me a loser, that's what."

"Wow, harsh. No woman's ever turned down Randy Orton before."

"Yeah, tell me about it." I leaned tiredly against the locker room wall and shut my eyes, still hoping that this was all just a nightmare.

Chris sighed and sat down on the bench next to me. "Unfortunately, it gets worse for you. They've arranged for you to share a dressing room with Stacy, in hopes of improving your backstage rapport."

Just when you think you've sunk to your lowest point, fate goes and grabs a shovel.

"Don't worry, Randy," he said in attempt to comfort me, "I'm sure things will get bet---" he stopped mid-sentence as he spotted Lilian Garcia walking down the hallway. Oh, that Chris. The whole locker room knows he's crazy about Lilian Garcia, yet he continues to deny it.

"Oh, Chri-is," I sang playfully, "the girl of your dreams just passed us. Aren't you gonna walk on over and say hi?"

"For the last time, Randy, I do NOT have a crush on Lilian!" His face was rapidly turning red as I laughed heartily.

"Yeah, go ahead and pretend that your huge-ass crush on her doesn't exist." Just like I'm trying to pretend that this whole load of crap I'm sinking in is all just a dream.

"We'll see who gets the last laugh once you start falling in love with Sta-a-a-a-cy Keibler," Chris teased.

I punched him lightly on the arm. "Mark my words, Chris Benoit: The day pigs fly is the day I fall in love with that hag."

A/N: Okay, time for a little reader interaction! I'd really like to know what you guys want to see in this story, so I hope you can take the time to review and answer a couple of questions for me, in addition to telling me what you thought of this chapter. First, who would you like to see paired up in this story with Lita? Also, would you like this Benoit/Lilian thing to continue, or do you disapprove of the pairing?

Thank you for your time! And stay tuned to catch the next chapter (if people actually want to see another, LOL) of They Stuck Me With You.