Fried Money, Anyone?

To Aaron: Hey there, Aaron! Nice to hear from you again! Yeah, Ace will never get over the fact he lost some money. Beach Head was pretty funny in this chapter, I must admit. Trinity managed to give him some good old-fashioned trauma before he was sent into action. I'm glad you liked the scene with the twin Crimson Guard Commanders and the skiing and the trees and the rocks. Those are common hazards when out skiing. I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Enjoy the new chapter!

To todd fan: Hey there, todd fan! I've been reading all your new stuff, and I loved it all so far. Yeah, random Cobra insanity rules. I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Random Tales from the Magic Roundabout", "X-Men: Evolution, the Musical", and "Slugs and Snails" (I paid a little tribute to you in the last chapter)!

To Red Witch: Hey there, Red Witch! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, the Monty Python guys are some of my favorite comedians, and it was a little tribute to todd fan's fic "Slugs and Snails". Scott sings about spam when he finally snaps in the story. Yeah, I thought it would be funny to see the twin Crimson Guard Commanders avoid getting smashed against trees and rocks. Those are common hazards to skiers, don't you know, heh heh. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Evolution XMJ"!

To RogueFanKC: Hey there, Rogue Fan! I just read your new one-shot "Toon Physics, Looney Laws, Mutant Mayhem", and I loved it! Yeah, a lot of Looney Toon physics does seem to apply to the X-Men and the Misfits. I've noticed that too in a lot of my own fics now that I think about it. Ahh don't worry, the paratrooper's fine. Cartoon physics, you know. Yeah, the Monty Python tribute is also a tribute to todd fan's fic "Slugs and Snails". In that fic, Scott starts singing about spam when he finally cracks. Oh, I agree. I think Lady Jaye and Flint would see the romance in beating up Tomax and Xamot together. Heh heh. I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait to read more from you!

Disclaimer: "Yeah! You're the evil egg people who took my waffles!" - Cyborg, Teen Titans

Chapter 11: Battling!

The Rockies

A huge battle had started between the GI Joes, the Misfits, and Cobra in the snowy Rocky Mountains.

"YA-HOO! Music to my ears!" A Joe known as Thunder hooted out happily from his Slugger, before it blew away a Cobra CLAW.

"Let's take it to 'em! WHOO!" Snow Job whooped from his Snowcat happily as he blasted Cobra CLAWs left and right.

"Spam spam spam spam spam…" Beach Head sang out from the seat next to Snow Job's. The red-haired white-clad Arctic trooper looked around quickly, and then slapped Beach Head across the face.

"Man, you are definitely going to see Psyche-Out when this is all over." Snow Job grumbled. The red-haired Joe then shrugged. "Oh well, at least I still get to blast Cobras. YEAH! WHOO! TAKE THAT, COBRA! YEAH! WHOOOOOOOO!"

The Rockies

"Man, those twin twits never give up!" Lady Jaye groaned. She turned her head to keep an eye on them. "They should invent some kind of anti-Tomax and Xamot spray…"

"LOOK OUT! CLIFF!" Tomax and Xamot screamed in unison, pointing ahead of htem, eyes wide.

"Cliff? What cliff?" Lady Jaye turned her head back around. Her eyes widened. "OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" She stumbled down the cliff. Oh, this is going to hurt.

Inside the Cobra Base

Inside the Cobra Base, Destro watched the battle. He turned to the camo-wearing terrorist ninja known only as Firefly.

"Firefly, I want you to take a flamethrower and go melt down that snow. It'll give the Joes something huge to worry about besides us." The steel-masked Scotsman ordered.

"I want extra for this. I'm an assassin, not a snowplow." Firefly replied.

"Hey, I got you those Baywatch DVDs you wanted as extra!" Destro exclaimed. Firefly smiled under his mask and closed his eyes.

"Good times…" Firefly drooled. "Ahhh…Yasmine Bleeth…Carmen Electra…Pam Anderson…God, I'm so lonely…"

"HEY!" The Baroness roared from another room. "FIREFLY! DID YOU EAT THE LAST JELLY DONUT?" Destro and Firefly's eyes widened.

"Oh shoot! I'd better run! I'll grab that flamethrower!" Firefly raced out of the room. Meanwhile, elsewhere in the base, near the Cobra vault to be exact, a red-clad Crimson Guardsman was ordering around a group of blue-clad standard troopers around.

"And whatever you do, do not allow any of those stupid Joes or lousy Misfits near the thermal molecular ignition transmitter! If you do, you'll get your butts kicked by me!" The Crimson Guardsman yelled. One standard trooper started crying and ran out of the room. "Oh brother." As this was going on, Ripcord had snuck inside the base, and planted a bomb inside the vault.

"Hee hee hee…" Ripcord snickered to himself. "It's cliché, but it works. And to quote another famous cliché, 'This Cobra base is going to go out with a bang', heh heh."

Back at the Rockies

At the base of the cliff, Lady Jaye and Tomax were struggling. Both of them were holding one of Lady Jaye's trademark javelins, and they were trying to overpower each other.

"Give up, Joe." Tomax snarled. "You cannot defeat me."

"Can your one-liners get any more lame?" Lady Jaye grumbled. "Hey Tomax, what's your favorite music?" She pressed a button on her javelin. A rocket inside the javelin erupted in flame. "Mine is Rocket and Roll!"

"That one-liner's not much betterrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!" Tomax screamed as the rocket inside the javelin sent him over the edge of the cliff. "MOMMY!"

High up on the mountain

"I'm an assassin, not a snowplow." Firefly grumbled as he trudged up the mountain, carrying a flamethrower with the tanks on his back. "This had better be worth it. I can't believe the Baroness freaks out about the last jelly donut. I thought broads preferred watching their weight."

"Baa." A voice said.

"Huh?" Firefly turned and saw a mountain goat. "What to you want?"

"Baa." The mountain goat gave Firefly a headbutt to the groin.

"AAAAAAAW!" Firefly howled in pain. He accidentally pulled the trigger of the flamethrower as he stumbled backwards. "AAAAAAAAAAH!" Firefly, with the flamethrower going full blast, tumbled backwards down the mountain. "HELP ME! IT HURTS! OW! MY BACK! OH! HEY! OOF! HELP ME! WAAAAAGH! MAMA!" Despite practically breaking every bone in his body, and stumbling down to the bottom of the mountain, Firefly managed to melt down the snow of the mountain.

"EEEEEEEEK!" Pietro screamed girlishly as he zipped away to avoid getting flooded. Water started covering the Joes' position.

"I took a shower this morning!" Lance growled.

"Give it up, Joes and Misfits!" Baroness crowed through a megaphone. "You're surrounded by water and remote-controlled ASPs."

"Here's mud in your eye!" Flint snapped back. "Wavedancer! Scarlet Witch! Avalanche! Disperse this water!" The three mutants nodded and got to work. Wanda blasted the water with hexbolts, Althea mentally took hold of the water, and Lance created waves of earth in order to disperse the water.

"We got this!" Wanda called. "There the water goes!"

"Have a drink on me, Cobra!" Althea yelled, sending a wave at the Cobra forces.

Well, well, well! Looks like the battle shall continue! What insanity will happen next? Will our heroes save the day? Will Ace get his hands on Tomax and Xamot? Will Baroness kill Firefly for eating the last donut? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!