Disclaimer: J.K.Rowling owns everything, I don't. No copyright infringement is intended.
Chapter 6
The sun beat down on Hermione's face as she relaxed on the deck of the oversized sailboat. A light breeze crossed her face, and she could smell the saltwater in the air. Her body gently rocked in time with the ocean tide as it lapped at the side of the vessel, and her mind was lulled into a peaceful serenity. A seagull squawked in the distance, and she watched as it dove in search of a hearty meal. Her father loved seagulls. He said they reminded him that, no matter how far away they went, home was close by. Her mother would chuckle and say that was because he refused to take the family too far from shore, but he would always shrug that comment off. She turned her head to the side to catch her father's eye, and was rewarded with the adoring smile that he saved for his only child. Normally she would have taken the opportunity to talk his ear off about something or ask him a million questions, but right now she was content to just relax and enjoy.
She knew it was just a dream, a sleep induced memory of a time when her parents were still alive. She had them often. When they first started to appear she would wake in a panic and sob uncontrollably at her loss, but now she just used them as her own private home movies. Every detail captured exactly as she wanted to remember them and not with the stark reality of a muggle video camera. She edited out the arguments and awkwardness and doubled up on the smiles and laughter. In them, she felt comfortable and secure.
As her dream dissolved away she realized with some confusion that she wasn't safely ensconced in her own bed, but wrapped in strong arms with her head resting on the steady rise and fall of a well toned chest.
She briefly wondered where she was and then gasped as the events of the previous day came crashing back at her. Three proposals. Well, to be correct, three potential husbands -- presented to her in a few short hours of each other. That would be pretty heady stuff for anyone, much less a bookish recluse such as herself. But her final, and most endearing, proposal was currently lying beside her with his arms clutching her in a comforting embrace.
She looked up at her best friend and studied him in the early morning light. With his sleep tousled red hair and dream induced grin she noticed how absolutely adorable he was while he slept. It was something she had never seen before, and wondered what it would be like to wake up with him every morning. She thought of how easy it would be to accept his proposal instead of the other, less desirable, petitions. According to the law she had six months to get married. In just a few months he would turn eighteen and then they would be free to marry.
True to his original request he wouldn't let her respond to his proposal. He knew that it was a surprise and that she needed time to think the situation through. She wasn't sure which amazed her more -- the proposal, or the fact that he was astute enough to leave her to her thoughts. Not that he really left her alone. He stayed by her side and attempted to quell her unspoken fears. He told her he loved her. Not by simple words, but in the way that he looked at her and held her while they fell asleep. And yes, to her amazement he also said those special words.
She had wondered why, after all this time of being 'just friends', he decided to take this sudden step.
"Is it just because of the law?" She had asked.
"No." Was his quick reply. He hesitated as if contemplating how much of his thoughts he should reveal to her. "I know that over the years I've been a prat." He paused there to glare at her as she giggled mercilessly. When she calmed down enough to listen he continued, "I thought I had the whole year to make up for that. I thought that with enough time I could make you see that we could be something special."
"Go on," she said, knowing there had to be more to the story.
"Last year I started seeing you in a new light" he said softly. "I was dating other girls, and noticing that none of them could hold a candle to you. I began to think about us as -- as more than just friends."
She looked at him, confusion written on her face. "So why didn't you say something then?"
He bent his head and paused before speaking. "At first I couldn't work up the nerve, and then your parents were killed. I thought what you would need most was a friend, not another complication. I thought I would give it time."
"But now?"
"I can't let you go to that meeting tomorrow not knowing how I feel. You have to know that you have choices." He said the words with such force that she finally noticed the change in him. He was no longer the child she knew from her first year at Hogwarts. He had grown up.
He went on to confide in her about his summer job. It wasn't done just to make a quick galleon or prove something to his brothers. It had been to prove something to himself and to her. As his first step into their future, he wanted to show that he could support her. He could and would care for her, and their future brood. With a sense of foresight that stunned her, he had planned their future out in great detail. The biggest problem she could see was that it didn't follow her own planned future. While he hadn't imagined a life outside the wizarding world, she didn't want to imagine a world inside of it.
Professor Snape was offering her protection for a short period of time. Her planned future would be delayed, but not derailed. He was offering her a temporary solution; Ron was offering her permanence. A true marriage, she knew, meant sacrifices -- but was she willing to make them? No plan was completely set, but could she give up her solitary dream to fit into his? Could they come to a mutual agreement based on shared desires? How far was he willing to go to make this work? Was this really the right move for them?
The question was, 'Did she love him?'
Sure she loved him -- she always had. She loved him just as she loved Harry, the rest of the Weasleys, and all the folks in the order that made up her new extended family. It was a comfortable love and one that, after her brief crush in their fourth year, she had never given a second thought.
No, the real question was, 'Could she love him in that -- till death do you part -- kind of way.'
After the events of the last evening, Hermione could have settled in to hours of self-examination over this question. However, try as she might the phrase, "Till death do you part," echoed in her thoughts. In light of her situation that simple marriage vow took on a whole new meaning, and it was that chilling phrase that finally made up her mind. She wasn't sure if she loved him enough to marry him, but she was sure that she loved him too much to see him die for her.
Glancing at her watch she noted that she still had time for a quick shower and breakfast before having to leave for her meeting with the Ministry. For a moment she admired the engagement ring as it hung on the chain around her neck. Placed in its temporary location only hours ago, she tried to think of how she would return it without ruining their friendship. She knew that she was a coward for just leaving him, but convinced herself that their conversation would have to wait until there was more time.
Pushing on to more pressing thoughts, she wondered how she was going to get out of the room undetected. Listening carefully, she didn't notice any sounds from his roommates. She wasn't sure if Harry had kept them away from the room, or if they were just well hidden behind the heavy curtains that cloaked all of the school's four-poster beds. Pulling away from Ron, while trying to not disturb his slumber, she carefully climbed towards a shaft of light between the folds of fabric. With some trepidation she opened the curtains surrounding his bed and made her getaway.
Quietly she opened the bedroom door and with one backwards glance stepped into the darkened hallway, and straight into the broad chest of her other fiancé.
As she looked up at him she saw his gaze move into the bedroom and straight towards Ron's sleeping form, only half hidden behind the carelessly drawn curtains. She quickly closed the door behind her, but knew she hadn't been quick enough.
His sneer was apparent even in the darkened hallway. "Let me guess. You had a falling out with the unicorns?"
She didn't even try to stop the blush that crept up her face as she processed his accusation. Her mouth gaped open and shut a few times as she tried to explain the situation, but no words actually came to her rescue. Finally, he turned on his heel and headed away.
Knowing she had to rectify the situation, she ran after him and shouted, "Wait!"
By the time she caught up to him he was standing in the middle of the deserted Gryffindor common room. "Professor wait," she called out to him. He turned to her with a somewhat bored expression and seemed to look past her rather than at her. "It's not what it looked like," she said. That seemed to get his full attention.
"It looked like you spent last night sharing Mr. Weasley's bed," he said rather succinctly.
She could tell by his tone that, while they both knew he was correct, he was in no mood to hear any elaboration on the subject. Taking her silence as confirmation he again turned around and headed for the portrait hole. As he moved through the opening he called back to her "They moved the time of our meeting at the ministry. The headmaster is expecting us."
Not knowing how much time was left before she had to be in the headmasters' office she thought a quick cleansing charm would do that trick. She grabbed for her wand and- "Damn!" She yelled into the empty common room as she realized that not only did she still not have her old wand back, but the man holding it captive had just walked out the door. In a deliberate act of defiance she turned and went to her room to freshen up the muggle way.
A few minutes later she was again running through the common room. With a new set of robes, face washed, and teeth brushed she was a bit more prepared for the upcoming events. She would have loved to perform a detangling charm on her hair, but she could only do that with a wand or an extended fight with a hairbrush. Despite her anger she didn't want to waste too much time, but there was no way she was risking them finding out about her new wand now. For that same reason she decided to leave it in her treasure box rather than bringing it to the Ministry meeting. She was well aware that any wand brought into the Ministry had to be registered, and she wasn't about to let them do that.
She burst out of the portrait hole heading for the Dumbledore's office and was shocked to see Professor Snape standing just outside the opening. His eyes quickly swept over her, taking in her slightly less disheveled appearance. As he continued to regard her with carefully controlled energy, she couldn't tell whether he had been waiting for her all along or sent back to hurry her along. She hoped it was the former.
Having only just made the decision to accept his offer over Ron's she looked at the man who would be her husband. Oh gods, her husband -- just thinking that word sent shivers up her spine, but not in the way that most brides would have experienced.
She thought of how being married to Ron would revolve around the day-to-day activities of a large caring family. Weekdays spent getting the kids to school and themselves to work, then weekends at the burrows for extended family Quidditch competitions. The man before her however, that was another story.
She knew that their union was to be a farce, but she couldn't help but think of what a real marriage to this man would be like -- for the right woman. Her imagination immediately conjured up foreign visions of a relaxed potions master and his wife. With his keen intellect, and brooding intensity she saw a life filled with stimulating conversation, desires for academic excellence, and raw sexual tension. It was this last thought which sent a new batch of shivers up her spine, and not in the way she would have expected. Seeing her shiver he looked down on her, disdain written clearly over his face.
'So much for raw sexual tension,' she reflected. Thinking that this was as bad a time as any, she asked coolly, "May I have my wand back?"
"You won't be needing it today," was his clipped response as he started walking towards the headmaster's office. She took a deep calming breath and followed him, but not before adding another regret to her recent decision.
Once at the headmaster's office she noticed Professors Dumbledore and McGonagall deep in hushed conversation. As quick as their presence became known, the two sprung guiltily apart. Noticing the interested look that Hermione gave them, Professor McGonagall searched for an opportunity to distract the young girl and stall her usual flood of questions. Seizing upon her unkempt hair the head of Gryffindor commented around a slight chuckle "My dear, I believe you forgot something this morning." Hermione looked at her with apparent confusion and the older woman, motioning toward her hair, continued, "We'll want to put our best foot forward in the meeting this morning."
In response to this Hermione made a pointed reference to the fact that she was no longer in possession of her wand. While the two older wizards cleared their throats and looked away in embarrassment, Snape managed to appear unconcerned. Professor McGonagall muttered an incoherent half-acknowledgement, then with a flick of her wrist and a few words spoken from the side of her mouth she succeeded in subduing the young girl's hair.
Noting the time, Professor Dumbledore quickly went on to give an overly brief review of what was to be expected in their meeting. Not giving the young girl time to address her desired allotment of queries, Hermione and the three professors grabbed their ministry bound portkey and vanished.
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A/N: Thanks again to NegativeNine for her ever so helpful beta work!!
Sphira: Good thoughts -- Thanks! I purposely kept Ron vague to keep the proposal a surprise (yeah, the old line -- I meant to do that). While I agree that most guys would use that as an opportunity to hold off on a proposal, I think this situation was different. In my mind Ron had been planning this for awhile, and while this wasn't how he saw it happening, he felt it was now or never. I saw him as wrestling with his own timeline before deciding to propose. I hope this chapter gave more insight into that.
BTW - I do appreciate all the insightful comments and questions that you folks have been leaving. I do read the feedback and adjust accordingly. I know it's bad fan fic etiquette to change a posted chapter, so I've been trying to work in any answers to questions or requests later.
To all who have been enjoying Ron, let me just say that I hope you understand why she can't choose him, but that we haven't seen the last of him!! This is listed as Romance/Angst after all ;-)
Chapter 6
The sun beat down on Hermione's face as she relaxed on the deck of the oversized sailboat. A light breeze crossed her face, and she could smell the saltwater in the air. Her body gently rocked in time with the ocean tide as it lapped at the side of the vessel, and her mind was lulled into a peaceful serenity. A seagull squawked in the distance, and she watched as it dove in search of a hearty meal. Her father loved seagulls. He said they reminded him that, no matter how far away they went, home was close by. Her mother would chuckle and say that was because he refused to take the family too far from shore, but he would always shrug that comment off. She turned her head to the side to catch her father's eye, and was rewarded with the adoring smile that he saved for his only child. Normally she would have taken the opportunity to talk his ear off about something or ask him a million questions, but right now she was content to just relax and enjoy.
She knew it was just a dream, a sleep induced memory of a time when her parents were still alive. She had them often. When they first started to appear she would wake in a panic and sob uncontrollably at her loss, but now she just used them as her own private home movies. Every detail captured exactly as she wanted to remember them and not with the stark reality of a muggle video camera. She edited out the arguments and awkwardness and doubled up on the smiles and laughter. In them, she felt comfortable and secure.
As her dream dissolved away she realized with some confusion that she wasn't safely ensconced in her own bed, but wrapped in strong arms with her head resting on the steady rise and fall of a well toned chest.
She briefly wondered where she was and then gasped as the events of the previous day came crashing back at her. Three proposals. Well, to be correct, three potential husbands -- presented to her in a few short hours of each other. That would be pretty heady stuff for anyone, much less a bookish recluse such as herself. But her final, and most endearing, proposal was currently lying beside her with his arms clutching her in a comforting embrace.
She looked up at her best friend and studied him in the early morning light. With his sleep tousled red hair and dream induced grin she noticed how absolutely adorable he was while he slept. It was something she had never seen before, and wondered what it would be like to wake up with him every morning. She thought of how easy it would be to accept his proposal instead of the other, less desirable, petitions. According to the law she had six months to get married. In just a few months he would turn eighteen and then they would be free to marry.
True to his original request he wouldn't let her respond to his proposal. He knew that it was a surprise and that she needed time to think the situation through. She wasn't sure which amazed her more -- the proposal, or the fact that he was astute enough to leave her to her thoughts. Not that he really left her alone. He stayed by her side and attempted to quell her unspoken fears. He told her he loved her. Not by simple words, but in the way that he looked at her and held her while they fell asleep. And yes, to her amazement he also said those special words.
She had wondered why, after all this time of being 'just friends', he decided to take this sudden step.
"Is it just because of the law?" She had asked.
"No." Was his quick reply. He hesitated as if contemplating how much of his thoughts he should reveal to her. "I know that over the years I've been a prat." He paused there to glare at her as she giggled mercilessly. When she calmed down enough to listen he continued, "I thought I had the whole year to make up for that. I thought that with enough time I could make you see that we could be something special."
"Go on," she said, knowing there had to be more to the story.
"Last year I started seeing you in a new light" he said softly. "I was dating other girls, and noticing that none of them could hold a candle to you. I began to think about us as -- as more than just friends."
She looked at him, confusion written on her face. "So why didn't you say something then?"
He bent his head and paused before speaking. "At first I couldn't work up the nerve, and then your parents were killed. I thought what you would need most was a friend, not another complication. I thought I would give it time."
"But now?"
"I can't let you go to that meeting tomorrow not knowing how I feel. You have to know that you have choices." He said the words with such force that she finally noticed the change in him. He was no longer the child she knew from her first year at Hogwarts. He had grown up.
He went on to confide in her about his summer job. It wasn't done just to make a quick galleon or prove something to his brothers. It had been to prove something to himself and to her. As his first step into their future, he wanted to show that he could support her. He could and would care for her, and their future brood. With a sense of foresight that stunned her, he had planned their future out in great detail. The biggest problem she could see was that it didn't follow her own planned future. While he hadn't imagined a life outside the wizarding world, she didn't want to imagine a world inside of it.
Professor Snape was offering her protection for a short period of time. Her planned future would be delayed, but not derailed. He was offering her a temporary solution; Ron was offering her permanence. A true marriage, she knew, meant sacrifices -- but was she willing to make them? No plan was completely set, but could she give up her solitary dream to fit into his? Could they come to a mutual agreement based on shared desires? How far was he willing to go to make this work? Was this really the right move for them?
The question was, 'Did she love him?'
Sure she loved him -- she always had. She loved him just as she loved Harry, the rest of the Weasleys, and all the folks in the order that made up her new extended family. It was a comfortable love and one that, after her brief crush in their fourth year, she had never given a second thought.
No, the real question was, 'Could she love him in that -- till death do you part -- kind of way.'
After the events of the last evening, Hermione could have settled in to hours of self-examination over this question. However, try as she might the phrase, "Till death do you part," echoed in her thoughts. In light of her situation that simple marriage vow took on a whole new meaning, and it was that chilling phrase that finally made up her mind. She wasn't sure if she loved him enough to marry him, but she was sure that she loved him too much to see him die for her.
Glancing at her watch she noted that she still had time for a quick shower and breakfast before having to leave for her meeting with the Ministry. For a moment she admired the engagement ring as it hung on the chain around her neck. Placed in its temporary location only hours ago, she tried to think of how she would return it without ruining their friendship. She knew that she was a coward for just leaving him, but convinced herself that their conversation would have to wait until there was more time.
Pushing on to more pressing thoughts, she wondered how she was going to get out of the room undetected. Listening carefully, she didn't notice any sounds from his roommates. She wasn't sure if Harry had kept them away from the room, or if they were just well hidden behind the heavy curtains that cloaked all of the school's four-poster beds. Pulling away from Ron, while trying to not disturb his slumber, she carefully climbed towards a shaft of light between the folds of fabric. With some trepidation she opened the curtains surrounding his bed and made her getaway.
Quietly she opened the bedroom door and with one backwards glance stepped into the darkened hallway, and straight into the broad chest of her other fiancé.
As she looked up at him she saw his gaze move into the bedroom and straight towards Ron's sleeping form, only half hidden behind the carelessly drawn curtains. She quickly closed the door behind her, but knew she hadn't been quick enough.
His sneer was apparent even in the darkened hallway. "Let me guess. You had a falling out with the unicorns?"
She didn't even try to stop the blush that crept up her face as she processed his accusation. Her mouth gaped open and shut a few times as she tried to explain the situation, but no words actually came to her rescue. Finally, he turned on his heel and headed away.
Knowing she had to rectify the situation, she ran after him and shouted, "Wait!"
By the time she caught up to him he was standing in the middle of the deserted Gryffindor common room. "Professor wait," she called out to him. He turned to her with a somewhat bored expression and seemed to look past her rather than at her. "It's not what it looked like," she said. That seemed to get his full attention.
"It looked like you spent last night sharing Mr. Weasley's bed," he said rather succinctly.
She could tell by his tone that, while they both knew he was correct, he was in no mood to hear any elaboration on the subject. Taking her silence as confirmation he again turned around and headed for the portrait hole. As he moved through the opening he called back to her "They moved the time of our meeting at the ministry. The headmaster is expecting us."
Not knowing how much time was left before she had to be in the headmasters' office she thought a quick cleansing charm would do that trick. She grabbed for her wand and- "Damn!" She yelled into the empty common room as she realized that not only did she still not have her old wand back, but the man holding it captive had just walked out the door. In a deliberate act of defiance she turned and went to her room to freshen up the muggle way.
A few minutes later she was again running through the common room. With a new set of robes, face washed, and teeth brushed she was a bit more prepared for the upcoming events. She would have loved to perform a detangling charm on her hair, but she could only do that with a wand or an extended fight with a hairbrush. Despite her anger she didn't want to waste too much time, but there was no way she was risking them finding out about her new wand now. For that same reason she decided to leave it in her treasure box rather than bringing it to the Ministry meeting. She was well aware that any wand brought into the Ministry had to be registered, and she wasn't about to let them do that.
She burst out of the portrait hole heading for the Dumbledore's office and was shocked to see Professor Snape standing just outside the opening. His eyes quickly swept over her, taking in her slightly less disheveled appearance. As he continued to regard her with carefully controlled energy, she couldn't tell whether he had been waiting for her all along or sent back to hurry her along. She hoped it was the former.
Having only just made the decision to accept his offer over Ron's she looked at the man who would be her husband. Oh gods, her husband -- just thinking that word sent shivers up her spine, but not in the way that most brides would have experienced.
She thought of how being married to Ron would revolve around the day-to-day activities of a large caring family. Weekdays spent getting the kids to school and themselves to work, then weekends at the burrows for extended family Quidditch competitions. The man before her however, that was another story.
She knew that their union was to be a farce, but she couldn't help but think of what a real marriage to this man would be like -- for the right woman. Her imagination immediately conjured up foreign visions of a relaxed potions master and his wife. With his keen intellect, and brooding intensity she saw a life filled with stimulating conversation, desires for academic excellence, and raw sexual tension. It was this last thought which sent a new batch of shivers up her spine, and not in the way she would have expected. Seeing her shiver he looked down on her, disdain written clearly over his face.
'So much for raw sexual tension,' she reflected. Thinking that this was as bad a time as any, she asked coolly, "May I have my wand back?"
"You won't be needing it today," was his clipped response as he started walking towards the headmaster's office. She took a deep calming breath and followed him, but not before adding another regret to her recent decision.
Once at the headmaster's office she noticed Professors Dumbledore and McGonagall deep in hushed conversation. As quick as their presence became known, the two sprung guiltily apart. Noticing the interested look that Hermione gave them, Professor McGonagall searched for an opportunity to distract the young girl and stall her usual flood of questions. Seizing upon her unkempt hair the head of Gryffindor commented around a slight chuckle "My dear, I believe you forgot something this morning." Hermione looked at her with apparent confusion and the older woman, motioning toward her hair, continued, "We'll want to put our best foot forward in the meeting this morning."
In response to this Hermione made a pointed reference to the fact that she was no longer in possession of her wand. While the two older wizards cleared their throats and looked away in embarrassment, Snape managed to appear unconcerned. Professor McGonagall muttered an incoherent half-acknowledgement, then with a flick of her wrist and a few words spoken from the side of her mouth she succeeded in subduing the young girl's hair.
Noting the time, Professor Dumbledore quickly went on to give an overly brief review of what was to be expected in their meeting. Not giving the young girl time to address her desired allotment of queries, Hermione and the three professors grabbed their ministry bound portkey and vanished.
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A/N: Thanks again to NegativeNine for her ever so helpful beta work!!
Sphira: Good thoughts -- Thanks! I purposely kept Ron vague to keep the proposal a surprise (yeah, the old line -- I meant to do that). While I agree that most guys would use that as an opportunity to hold off on a proposal, I think this situation was different. In my mind Ron had been planning this for awhile, and while this wasn't how he saw it happening, he felt it was now or never. I saw him as wrestling with his own timeline before deciding to propose. I hope this chapter gave more insight into that.
BTW - I do appreciate all the insightful comments and questions that you folks have been leaving. I do read the feedback and adjust accordingly. I know it's bad fan fic etiquette to change a posted chapter, so I've been trying to work in any answers to questions or requests later.
To all who have been enjoying Ron, let me just say that I hope you understand why she can't choose him, but that we haven't seen the last of him!! This is listed as Romance/Angst after all ;-)