Fried Money, Anyone?

To Red Witch: Hey there, Red Witch! Nice to hear from you again! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, I bet the Baroness does feel really stupid right now. Using water against a hydrokinetic. Did you paint your room red? I read the new chapter of "Evolution XMJ", and I loved it! Rachel/Jean bonding is fun. Enjoy the new chapter, Red, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Evolution XMJ"!

To Sparky Genocide: Hey there, Sparky Genocide! Nice to hear from you again! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Ace and Beach Head suffering delusions that cause them to go crazy and attack each other? I have plans for Ace to suffer a delusion in this chapter! Enjoy the new chapter!

To Aaron: Hey there, Aaron! Nice to hear from you again! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, Beach Head is losing it. I thought that the fight between Lady Jaye and the twins would be god for some laughs. Firefly is a straight guy, so who can blame him for crushing on the Baywatch babes? You've seen them? They're GORGEOUS! Enjoy the new chapter!

To Raliena: Hey there, Rae! Nice to hear from you again! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Enjoy the new chapter!

To todd fan: Hey there todd fan! Nice to hear from you again! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! I read your story "A Rabbit's Tale: Journey", and I loved it! Paranoid squirrels are so funny. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Slugs and Snails", "X-Men: Evolution, the Musical", "Random Tales of the Magic Roundabout", and "A Rabbit's Tale: Journey"!

Disclaimer: "No no, I blew a funny fuse." - Eric Cartman, SouthPark

Chapter 12: The Day is Saved!

The Rockies

Ace flew towards Lady Jaye's position.

"Come to daddy, to you little punks." Ace smirked evilly. "Come to Daddy." Meanwhile, Xamot was about to shoot Lady Jaye.

"So sorry I have to do this, my dear." The financier smirked smugly. "But I wish to tell you. I am not going to kill you out of any personal malice, unlike that whiny girly boy Virus. This is purely business." Xamot and Lady Jaye looked up as they heard a roar from the sky. And it was growing louder.

"I WANT MY MONEY!" Ace roared as he dove down toward Xamot and slammed into the financier like a bullet hitting bone.

"HEY!" Xamot yelled. "WHAT THE! WHO ARE YOU AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! HELP ME! MOMMY! OWWW! THAT HURTS! WATCH IT! AUGH! NOT THERE! NOT THE FACE! DON'T HIT ME THERE! YEAGH! MOMMY! SAVE ME! OH DEAR GOD NO! I'M TOO PRETTY TO DIE!" Ace started using Xamot as a demonstration of the results of attack techniques that brought about instant and immense moments of pure pain. Lady Jaye winced and retched as she saw a screeching and snarling Ace smash, bash, trash, and basically beat the living snot out of Tomax.

"Ohh…" Tomax moaned as he climbed up the cliff. "That was not fun. I think I'm going to be sick for a year. How do those freaks in the Misfits deal with that stuff? Ooh…" Tomax managed to climb up the cliff. "Oh God…" His strange link with Xamot activated, and he started screaming as he felt the blows and pain of his brother. He also got slapped around and broken and battered like his brother. Lady Jaye winced.

"Eew…man, talk about your telegraphing punches." The brown-haired Joe retched. "I never thought I'd say this, but boy do I feel sorry for those two overgrown twin circus clowns."

Inside the Cobra Vault

"Time to go." Ripcord said to himself as he climbed his way out of the Cobra vault.

"Hold it right there." A Viper appeared out of nowhere and pointed his gun at Ripcord.

"Hey look!" Ripcord pointed ahead. "Pam Anderson!"

"Pammy?" The Viper turned around. "Is that you WHOA!" He tripped over his shoelace and fell down to the floor of the vault. Ripcord shook his head.

"Man, Cobra's full of idiots." The HALO jumper said to himself as he continued his ascent. He managed to ascend the snowy mountain. Soon after, the vault exploded. "That rocked."

"Wow." Lady Jaye said when she saw the explosion.

"Yeah." Ace nodded. "And I thought that Pyro created a huge explosion when he deided to experiment with BA's Royal Crepe Suzette Flambé." In the background, a whimpering Tomax and Xamot crawled away.

"We want our mommy…" The twin Crimson Guard Commanders whimpered while crying their eyes out. The explosion sent Cobra's coins flying everywhere. It became a rain of coins.

"Pennies from Heaven?" Roadblock remarked, catching some Cobra coins in his hand. Blob was running around trying to catch some coins with his tongue. The Cobra troops immediately abandoned their vehicles and posts and started running around, trying to collect the coins.

"Whee, I'm Super Mario!"

"I'm rich!"

"Money money money!"

"Whoo yeah! Free moolah!"

"Cash money!"

"You fools" The Baroness screamed. "The coins are made of a gold-plated para-Cobra polymer alloy! They're not real! They'll be useless unless we beat the Joes! You fools! You twits! YOU MORONS!" She noticed the Joes and Misfits staring at her with evil grins. "Uh oh…I'd better get the heck out of here."

The Pit communications room, sometime later

Ace, Ripcord, Alpine, Lance, and Toad were resuming some old business they really needed to finish up: their poker game.

"Okay boys, prepare to lose your money. Again." Ace smirked.

"Oh God…" Todd moaned. "Man, I'm about to lose my shirt, yo."

"If Althea heard you say that, she'd do everything in her power to get your shirt off." Alpine chuckled. The five laughed.

"Man, I can't wait for you two to turn 21." Ripcord chuckled. "That way we can have cigars and alcohol and make it a real poker game."

"Yeah, that is if we can escape the significant others." Lance agreed.

"Straight flush, boys! Read 'em and weep! The King of Gambling still reigns supreme. Bow before my unstoppable might." Ace started to grab all the cash in the pot. "And speaking of escapes, how did you manage to escape the Cobra vault?"

"Easy." Ripcord replied. "All I did was distract him by telling him Pam Anderson was around. Then, I tied his shoelaces together, and he tripped and fell on his face."

"Which is exactly what you're going to do for the first time, Ace." Lance smirked as he revealed his hand. Ace's jaw dropped.

"You're joking…" Ace gulped.

"Oh no…" Lance smirked. "Royal Flush, baby. Nothing can beat it. Hand over that money!" Lance grinned as he took the pot. "I got a royal flush, and you got an empty wallet."

"Terrific." Ace groaned. "You're just like Cobra: You've got money to burn."

Well, well, well! Looks like the day is saved, and Lance is a little bit richer! What insanity will happen next? What further adventures will our heroes encounter? Find out soon! This is L1701E, staying thanks for reading!