Disclaimer: Hypothetical question… If I owned Harry Potter, would I be wasting my time on a fan fic instead of getting book number six finished? Just a hypothetical question…

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Blue Flowers of Celestial Years

Ch. 4: "Growing Closer"

What was the point of getting up every morning? Everything, including humans, is all just living to die. Everything and everybody dies when their time comes. So what was the point of even living if everything will just die? Was there even one person who could fathom that?

Ginny woke up in the middle of the night, holding her head between her hands. It felt as if Dementors were all around her, sucking away her happiness. No, the Dementors were not the cause of it; just one person caused her to feel this way, and she hated him. She hated the person who betrayed her in her first year, and was thought to be killed by Harry Potter. But he is not dead; he is still alive inside her.

"Why do you keep living, Virginia?"

"Don't call me that!" Ginny cried out, still holding her head between her hands.

"Do you keep living because you feel you owe Potter that much for saving your pathetic self?"

"Stop it!"

"You hate me, don't you, Virginia?" he taunted. "You want to grab me, throttle me, feel me die in your hands, don't you? You love to hate me…"

"Shut up!"

"You're mad, my little Ginny. You think I am actually here, talking to you? Guess again; it is only your insane mind that makes you think that I am here, able to talk to you."

"Shut up, Riddle!" Ginny shouted as she shook her head from side to side, and then buried her head under her pillow. She was breathing hard, willing him and the depressing feelings to go away.

"I am not going to go away, Virginia." He continued to taunt. "I am you as much as you are me."

"But I am not a sadistic, insane, mad-man who could kill without even a feeling of remorse, pity or guilt! I am Ginny Weasley! My soul is my own!"

There was silence. Was he finally gone?

"Why do you keep living, Virginia?"

Ginny screamed in frustration, grabbing her hair in her hands, and twisted it between her fingers. "My name is not Virginia!"

"Virginia…"

"Shut up!"

Ginny pushed the sleeves of her pajamas up from her arms. They were still there; the markings were still there. She dug her fingers in her arms, scraping her fingernails up her arms, and she drew blood as she screamed.

"MY NAME IS NOT VIRGINIA! I AM GINEVRA WEASLEY! SAY IT YOU SADISTIC, MAD-MAN! YOU NASTY INSANE ARSE! SAY IT! SAY IT!"

"Ginevra!"

At first, Ginny thought, in triumph, that Tom Riddle had finally said her real name. It took her a little while to realize that it was a female who said her name, not a male; and that her red curtains were open, a light in the dorm was on. Ginny slowly turned her head to look over her shoulder at four other girls; her dorm mates.

Her blankets were all messed up, as well as her red hair, and her pajama gown was disarrayed. Ginny made sure that her shaking arms were out of view of the other four girls.

"Ginny," one girl said. "Are you alright?"

Ginny cleared her throat, and nodded her head.

"Do you want me to fetch Professor McGonagall?" another girl asked, the one holding the red curtains.

"No, no, I'm fine." Ginny answered.

The other girls looked at one another with disbelieving eyes.

"Really," Ginny reassured. "It was just a bad dream… a very bad dream."

The girls hesitated before agreeing with Ginny. They slowly nodded their heads, and they let the red curtains go back down to their original position. Ginny heaved a quiet sigh of relief, feeling as if her mind and body were extremely exhausted.

She heard the other girls whispering, probably talking about her, but Ginny did not care. She looked down at her bloody fingers, coated with blood, and looked at the blank wall above her bed. Ginny did not know what made her do it, but before she could stop herself, she wrote with bloody fingers on the wall.

"I WILL NOT DIE"

The other four girls stopped talking, and turned out the light. The room was once again plunged into darkness, and Ginny hated the dark.

"They all think you're mad, because you are…"

Mainly because he came back when the lights go out. Ginny shook her head, felt her way to her drawers, and pulled out a wash cloth. She went into the bathroom, careful to close the door before turning the bright lights on.

"You can't shut me out forever—"

And he stops talking when the lights go on. Ginny blinked at the brightness, the mirror snorted, waking up from the abrupt light.

"Another midnight potty trip?" the mirror asked, sleepily.

Ginny only nodded, went over to the sink, and drenched the washcloth in hot water. The cuts burned when she patted them, and then wiped them. She cleaned all the blood off her arms, and washed the red color from the cloth. Finally, Ginny gathered up her strength and courage, and plunged herself back into the dark dorm.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"It's Friday! It's Friday!" Ginny singed as she optimistically skipped down the corridors to the Great Hall.

Most of the time, after an episode like last night, Ginny puts on an "optimistic" mood that just makes a person want to strangle her.

"Ginny!"

She turns around and sees Colin Creevy once again smiling excitedly.

"I got the dress for you to wear for the photograph." Colin explained. "But, I'm afraid it is not fancy robes. It is just a dress, but it's very pretty."

"Thank you, Colin." Ginny smiled. "When do you want to take the photos?"

"Hmm, I'm thinking maybe today after classes?"

Ginny thought about that. She did have to go visit Professor Lupin in his classroom after all. But what would a few hours hurt?

"Okay, that would be fine." She finally answered.

"Great! Meet me in the Gryffindor common room after lunch."

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It seemed like it was turning out to be a nonchalant day, with just the regular routine classes. Ginny was determined to keep up her "happy" mode, and not let that blasted Tom Riddle get her down. Often, she wondered if she really is mad.

When she got half way down the corridors, Ginny saw Kingsley Shacklebolt talking to Remus Lupin. She gulped, knowing that if Kingsley was talking to Remus, it is not going to be good news.

Ginny could already tell it was not good news by how serious the mood is. She could not hear them, of course, but she could see their very grave expressions; by the looks of it, Remus just got a couple of new gray hairs.

Finally, Remus nodded to Kingsley, and they departed; Kingsley probably went up to McGonagall's office so they could both go up to Dumbledore's office and Remus went back into his own classroom.

It was then that Ginny entered her last classroom, seeing Remus trying to get today's lesson together.

"Um, Professor?" Ginny asked as she looked around the classroom, making sure they are alone. "Remus?"

Remus looked up and gave Ginny a tired smile, nodding to say that it is okay to call him Remus because no one is around. He still continued to gather up documents, still looking haggard.

"Um, I saw Shaklebolt," Ginny exclaimed in a whisper while walking up to her teacher's desk. "What is going on? Did something bad happen?"

Remus paused for a moment, giving Ginny's question some thought, before he continued to gather up an assignment.

"Something did happen…" he finally said, looking at the documents to make sure they are the correct ones.

Remus looked up and saw several other students walk into the classroom, talking excitedly about nonsense while the Wizarding World is in great threat. Ginny thought how amazing it is that people can continue with their daily lives as if nothing is wrong.

"Are you still coming here tonight?" Remus asked in a low voice so only Ginny can hear.

Ginny nodded, making sure that if the other students are watching that they would just assume that she and Remus are talking about grades.

"Okay, I'll tell you about it then."

Ginny, nodded, turning to take a seat.

"Miss Weasley…"

Ginny turned around, looking at Remus.

"Have you not been getting enough sleep?" he asked, and Ginny looked bewildered.

"Um, last night, I… didn't get enough sleep… But it doesn't happen that often. Why do you ask?"

"Your eyes look a bit glossy and pink."

Ginny nodded, rubbing her eyes to get some of the sleepiness out of her as she sat down in the middle row of desks.

The bell rang, and class begun.

"I'm afraid that I have an assignment for you all to do that will be a pain in the… well, it will give you a headache out of sheer boredom." Professor Lupin explained to the class as he passed out sheets of paper.

The class groaned as they looked at their assignment; two pages or more describing the main facts on everything they have learned from first year to present. Even Unforgivable Curses are to be explained on paper. However, their teacher was kind enough to list all of the items they should have gone over, creatures and curses.

"I'm afraid that every Professor has to give an assignment that students just want to burn. However, if you do it right, then it might help you on your N.E.W.T.S."

Ginny mentally slapped herself; she forgot that she is supposed to choose a career for the future. She wondered what she is going to do the rest of her life as she got paper out to start the assignment.

Ginny wrote out all the first couple of things pretty easily until she got to the most recent ones. Should she take out her book and look them up? Oh great, she forgot her book in the dormitory. She will just have to do it from memory.

Ginny blinked as her handwriting got a bit blurry. She needed some more sleep. Okay, the next item on the list. Ginny could not answer that right away, so she went to the next one. She felt as though she were back in the Great Hall taking the O.W.L.s tests….

Ginny's eyes opened sleepily when she heard a bell ring, and she noticed her fellow classmates gathering their items together and leaving the class. Only until everyone left for the day, did Ginny realize that she still has her cheek resting on her paper, and her mouth is still open.

"Ginny, you fell asleep."

Ginny sat straight up in her chair, her paper sticking to her cheek. She peeled the paper off her skin and looked at it. Her skin felt sticky and her paper had ink blots on it from where she drooled.

Ginny looked up at Remus as she felt her face start to become hot. Remus smiled amusingly, getting out a large bowl and a wash cloth. He motioned for Ginny to come up to his desk, which she did as her head hung low.

"Did I snore?" Ginny asked timidly.

"A little, but not too loud." Remus said as he dipped the cloth in the very warm water.

"God, I'm so pathetic." Ginny cried.

She gasped when Remus put the warm cloth to the cheek she had on her paper. He gently wiped away the black ink writing and ink blots caused by her drooling. Ginny looked at Remus is wonder as he cleaned her ink-stained cheek so gently as if he is afraid she would fall apart.

Ginny gulped silently when Remus put the cloth back into the bowl, getting some more water, and began to wash her cheek once again. Something did flip-flops in her stomach as her heart pounded uncontrollably as if it is trying to burst out of her chest. Ginny's breathing increased as she swallowed again, even though her mouth went dry. She felt her cheeks start to burn that came from something totally different than embarrassment of drooling.

"Remus…" Ginny mouthed silently, unable to get her voice to work.

"All clean." Remus said with an emotion that Ginny could not place.

Her Professor turned away with pink cheeks, putting away the cloth and now empty bowl. Ginny stood still for a few minutes before turning to Remus, trying to get her vocal cords working, but it felt like someone put a silencing spell on her.

"Um… Do you want me to make up the assignment?" Ginny practically squeaked at Remus' back.

"Yes, just turn it in when class meets next time, okay?"

"Okay…"

Ginny stood, rooted to the ground, with Remus' back still to her. Finally, she forced herself to turn around, gathered her things, and exited the classroom, heading to the Gryffindor tower.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Instead of going to eat lunch, Ginny just ate a snack and took a nap. He would not be back because it is still sunny outside, so she could get some sleep. Before laying her head down on the pillow, Ginny touched her cheek one last time, sighing, and then drifted off to a peaceful sleep.

She woke up just in time to brush her hair, fix her clothing, and meet Colin down stairs. Colin was sitting on the red couch, twisting his fingers nervously. Beside him is a large, white box, which can be distinguished by anyone who has received clothing for their birthday or for Christmas, as a clothing box.

"Hi Colin." Ginny greeted.

Colin looked up and smiled.

"Hi, Ginny." And then Colin went into a nervous/excited mode as he grabbed the white box next to him, and then opened it.

Ginny's eyes widened as she looked at the muggle ball gown; it was royal blue that flared out after the waist, strapless, and silk.

"C-Colin… this dress is amazing… Please tell me you didn't buy it just for these couple of pictures."

Colin's cheeks blushed and he cleared his throat.

"Um, no… it was my mother's prom dress. You and her are basically the same waist size so, I thought it would look great on you."

"It's beautiful…" Ginny said in awe as she moved her hand along the royal blue silk. Then a warning signal rang in her mind; the dress did not have any sleeves.

"Colin, do you mind if I wear gloves for the pictures? Ones that come up to here?" Ginny asked as she pointed to her arm, a few inches above the elbow. She feels as though she should cover up her arms at all times. After all, Ginny has not worn anything but long sleeves since her first year.

"Sure, I don't mind." Colin answered, as he gently handed her the dress, the shoes, and the gloves that are a few inches short of the elbow. Ginny can easily fix that with a simple adjustment spell.

Ginny put the dress on, and adjusted the gloves. The low heeled shoes were a bit too big, but she also fixed that with an adjustment spell. She went into the bathroom and brushed her hair once again, bringing it with her downstairs.

Colin's foot moved nervously like a guy on his first date. Ginny came down stairs, her footsteps unsteady because of the length of the dress, and because she is not use to wearing heeled shoes, even if they are low heeled.

"Um, can I fix your hair?" Colin asked timidly.

"Of course you can. They are your pictures after all."

Colin motioned for Ginny to sit on the red couch with him. Ginny walked towards the red couch, the flowing dress making "swishing" noises as her legs moved. She sat on the cushions, and then shifted uncomfortably because of the back of the dress going down in a "v," causing her back to be exposed.

Colin gently brushed Ginny's hair as if he is brushing a goddess' fire-red hair. That is probably how it felt to him. He gently braided her hair with several strings of small white pearls, only using magic for when he messed up.

When Colin was finished, Ginny's hair was up in a bun, the pearls making her hair look like it is laced with white jewels.

They both went out to the Hogwarts' "backyard," or to the school gardens. Ginny was thankful that no other students were around to see her in a dress; she was sure some students would never let her live it down. Colin took several photos of Ginny; many of them had flowers surrounding her as a background.

"Are they going to be wizard photos?" Ginny asked as she is getting ready to pose for the last photo.

"No, the Daily Prophet said that it is a 'challenge to be a muggle.' But, thankfully, I am muggle-born, so I already know how to do it."

"Thankfully, indeed, because I don't have a clue as to how they are supposed to develop in the muggle way."

Colin adjusted the camera; Ginny had her bare back to the camera, and she looked over her shoulder, eyes on the camera. Colin nodded, telling her that her position is perfect, and he took a few shots.

"I will develop them, and then we will look at them, and decide which one to submit."

"Okay." Ginny agreed, and they went back to the Gryffindor tower.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

True to her promise of being there that night, Ginny made her way down to Professor Lupin's classroom, her assignment and books were being hugged by her arms.

Ginny knocked on the door before entering, and she heard a tired answer.

"Come in."

Ginny opened the door, seeing Remus at his desk, grading today's assignment. He looked up, and smiled at his student, and she closed the door behind her.

"Good evening." Ginny greeted while walking up to the desk.

"Good evening to you, too." Remus greeted back, motioning to the same chair Ginny sat in when she helped him grade papers.

Ginny set her books down carefully on Remus' desk, and sat down in the chair.

"I was thinking of doing the assignment tonight while I'm here." Ginny informed, opening her DADA book. "So how are you tonight?"

"I'm fine."

Ginny looked at Remus with one eye brow raised that reminded him very much of Molly Weasley, while knowing that one or more of her children were up to mischief.

"Truthfully, how are you?" she pressed.

Remus sighed, setting down his quill.

"I told you that I would tell what Kingsley told me, right?"

Ginny nodded, not taking her eyes off her teacher.

"The Ministry of Magic is… trying to pretend that daily life can continue as if everything with Voldemort—"

Ginny shuddered, still not able to control the shudders when the Dark Lord's name is mentioned.

"—on the loose. They are trying to make the wizarding world believe that the Ministry is in control of the whole situation. In reality, they are in a great panic because Voldemort and his Death Eaters are very cruel when they attack their victims. Like with the incident that Kingsley told me about…"

Remus made a look that was a mixture of sadness and disgust. Ginny could only remain silent and hope that her teacher tells her what is going on.

"The attack is going to be in the Daily Prophet tomorrow, of course." Remus continued, picking up his quill again.

"What happened?"

Remus paused, finally looking at Ginny as if seeing her there for the first time. His blue eyes started to wander over the room before he finally said something.

"Your father knows this Auror, and for the life of me, I can't remember his name. Well, this Auror had a wife and a daughter…"

Ginny did not miss the key word, "had."

"The Death Eaters attacked his family when he was at work. His wife, who was a muggle, and daughter, who wasn't that much older than you, was… massacred at their house."

Ginny let out a horrified gasp, and her eyes went wide.

"Did… did she go to this school?" she asked.

"No, no, you would've heard about a good while ago if she did. She went to another school."

Ginny started to feel terribly for the poor widowed and childless Auror. She was surprised that there was not a panic happening in the wizard community.

"Was there a Dark Mark floating above the house?" Ginny asked.

There were a good number of killings, many with that mark floating above the places that were attacked, after Harry's fourth year. So, Ginny knew a lot about the Dark Mark floating in places that have a massacre.

Trying to keep the atmosphere on a more positive level, Remus cleared his throat and looked at Ginny's books.

"So, do you need help on that assignment?" he asked.

Ginny nodded, trying to forget, just for now, that the wizard world is falling apart all around them. She opened her book, answering the questions she could not answer earlier in class, with Remus' help.

While they were together, Ginny could not shake the feeling of wanting to see Remus smile, wanting to hear him laugh, and even yearning a simple, friendly touch. She knew that she should not feel that way towards a man who is not only a werewolf, but also twice her age, and her teacher.

Ginny wondered through her musings what Remus was thinking of as well. He sometimes has a distant look in his eyes when he looked at her, but whenever their eyes met, Remus would look somewhere else. He mostly had his eyes on the papers he assigned, and Ginny felt very foolish for being jealous of a bunch of papers just because her teacher gave them more attention than he gave her.

Remus did not intentionally ignore Ginny; he always answered her questions, and they talked about whatever came to their minds. Sometimes, during their talks, one subject would reach another subject, and on they would talk.

However, Ginny noticed that Remus would look at her in such a way that would make her head spin, or make her heart start dancing in her chest. Yet he would have his eyes wander as if he was scolding himself for something that he should not think, or should not look at.

Ginny sighed to herself, wondering what was going through that werewolf's mind.

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AN: I have to warn everyone about this: a friend of mine (who is obsessed with Orlando Bloom) threatened to beat me to a pulp if I do not have Harry and Hermione together. So, as a natural Hufflepuff (ew!), I will shrink away from the danger that threatens my life, and make the second coupling a Harry/Hermione. I'm very sorry to all who were hoping for a Hermione/Ron relationship, but one of these days, despite how much she pisses and moans, I will make a fic with the coupling of Hermione and Ron.

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LupinFan227: I like the concept of "love at first sight," however, it didn't seem possible with Ginny and Remus. It is like they just need a little time to adjust to each other, and more than likely our dear wolf-boy would be fighting an inner battle in himself between moral and heart. God, I wish Mrs. Rowling would have Remus in her books more often so I could read something other than book three and five to guess on how he would react to a situation! But I also like the whole Remus blushing idea as well. The metal image of it is just so cute! Thank you for your review!

Bonbons: Thank you and thank you for your review!

Branmuffinpower: I LOVE me some dog-boy (Inuyasha)! Are you my long lost twin? Because when I was typing that chapter, and I got to the part where the pins were attacking the students, I thought of the same joke. My friends just gave me a weird look, so don't worry, I think it is a funny joke. Thank you for your review!

aikakone: It is okay, everyone has a right to get ill once in a while. What song Remus is humming will be revealed soon, during one of Ginny's visits. About Colin being like Neville, I was trying to put some humor in the story, and a friend suggested making up a character. I did that, and I just did not seem as funny, so I decided to use Colin having a bad day. But he really doesn't act a whole lot like Neville when casting spells… or like Seamus… heehee. I have trouble with the whole "past and future" tenses because I sometimes don't know how to say what I want to say using strictly past or future tenses. But I did try to keep what you said in mind when you brought it to my attention. Thank you. That whole Remus blushing was cute when I had a mental image of it! Thank you for your review!

Lucky Shamrock: Thank you for liking my story. What you said about Remus and Ginny being outcasts is very interesting and it made me think deeply about it (thinking is a goal for me, and I pat you on the back for managing to make me think). However, I started to get a headache afterwards, so I have this question: how are they outcasts? I already thought about Ginny not having many friends, and after the Chamber of Secrets, she became even more of an outcast, and Remus with the whole werewolf issue. Thank you for your review!

Elizabeth Turner: Yes, Orlando Bloom is a hottie! He makes me want to eat him all up! I hate my friend 'cause she has a guy who is an Orly look-alike. Damn her! (It is so not my fault he decided to kiss me at the NickelBack concert.) That is what she wrote because I'm writing this while sitting next to her, and she read your review about Orly. She thinks you're cool. Thank you for your review!