Gordon's world and the fragile walls he'd built to protect himself came tumbling down a week later. The day had started out innocent enough, there were the usual collection of patients, some with a genuine complaints and others that were malingerers. The day had progressed nicely enough, no patients were rude and he hadn't had any problems. The day even started to end in an amenable fashion, which made a change, however it was not to be.

"What have we got?" Gordon asked, pausing Meryl who was half running away from casualty in the direction of Matron's office.

"Car accident. I have to get Matron, the person who was behind the wheel is in a terrible state," Meryl replied hurrying off again before Gordon could ask anymore questions. Shrugging Gordon walked down to casualty, finding that Luke was already there.

"What have we got?" Gordon reiterated, struggling to get to the patients side due to Luke blocking the door, the gurney blocking the other and three nurses and Frankie milling about.

"Middle aged woman run over by a car. Driver said she was lying in the road, that there was nothing he could do." Gordon grunted in acknowledgment as Luke wouldn't have been able to see him nod and finally made his way round the gurney.

Once he was there, and he clapped eyes upon the patient, all the colour drained from his face. Luke chose just that moment to look up and ask Gordon to fetch him something or other, he took in Gordon's pasty complexion at a glance.

"I don't think you should be here. Staff Nurse," Meryl's eyes narrowed, she hadn't even walked into the room and he knew she was there, how perceptive was that. "Take Dr Ormerod back to his office, get him a cup of tea and ask Dr Weatherill to sit with him. Then get Dr Goodwin to come and assist me."

"Yes doctor," Meryl acknowledged guiding a stunned Gordon away.

It was two hours later when Luke, knocked quietly and, walked into Gordon's office. Gordon looked up at him, his eyes betraying more than he ever could verbalize. Jill shot Luke a questioning glance, Gordon hadn't spoken a word since she'd arrived and she wanted to know what the hell was going on.

"Jill, if you wouldn't mind," Luke looked at her, his face completely impassive. Jill shrugged and left the room, she'd make Luke tell her what was going on later. When Jill had left Luke took the chair she had just vacated. "I'm sorry Gordon."

Gordon sighed heavily, hearing the news he'd unconsciously been waiting to hear for years, how did his life ever get so screwed up?

"We did everything we could, there was massive internal bleeding and haemorrhaging. On top of that she was suffering acute alcohol poisoning. She looks to me like an accident waiting to happen. If this hadn't killed her, something else would have." Gordon nodded, finding it hard to take it all in. "It's not your fault Gordon, so don't blame yourself. There was nothing anybody could have done. Women are women right? You can't stop them from doing anything."

Gordon still didn't respond, Luke visually checked him over, he looked tired but there were no signs of shock. He would just keep talking until he got through to him.

"I understand how you're feeling. I remember when I lost my wife . ." Gordon, who had previously been studying his desk with feigned interest, looked up like a shot. He hadn't known that Luke had been married. ". . it felt like somebody had ripped out my heart and broken it into a million pieces. I know how you must feel, but your situation is different from mine. I think that you said your goodbyes a long time ago. It'll take a while to heal but your heart didn't break today, it was already broken." Gordon just stared at him, Luke really understood, he actually got it, he must know everything.

"You . . you know?" Gordon looked for confirmation, Luke nodded.

"Yeah, I know. It's to soon to think about this but, the best piece of advice I got was . . um . . that sometimes the best thing you can do, is to er . . is to get on with your life. The past is the past, and it should stay that way." Luke smiled sadly at Gordon, his eyes revealing the truth behind his words.

"Don't end up like me ok? Look back to the past, don't live in it." Luke stood up and clapped his hand down on Gordon's shoulder. "If you need anything, call me, day or night ok?" Gordon nodded, to numb and overtaken by events to process everything.

Unconsciously, Luke sighed deeply as he left Gordon's office. He'd realised something during the short time in Gordon's office, something he'd done and thus something he had to make right.