Disclaimer: Do you lawyers not know it by now?!
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Thank you to: Kit, Tante, brokentoy19, Mon, and Andromida-1971 for your moral support. I returned the books, with a note, and in turn, I begged my fiancée for all Harry Potter books, one through five, for Christmas.
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Notes of the day: My future mother-in-lay-the-neighborhood, um, I mean mother-in-law got me a bumper sticker that said, "Hogwarts Dropout."................ Gee, thanks Gloria....
So, I got revenge.... I got her a bumper sticker that said, "You're such a Muggle!" (smiles evilly)
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GOOD NEWS! I got my Inuyasha fan fiction done, so I will be updating this one more often! YAY!
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Kit: Thank you, and yes, it is sad if someone misses out on Harry Potter. Thank you for your review!
Branmuffinpower: I love Shakespeare, too. That sonnet is my number one favorite by him. Sometimes detail matters to teachers, even if it is a little detail like a sword and a dagger. Oh, I have more than one friend; the one who hates you, and the one who thinks you're cool, and suggested to call your teacher Mrs. Crumpet. But it was my mistake for not distinguishing between the two. Sorry! "Building Rome...A lot of money, Taking care of twin boys...a lot of time and money, The whole Romulus and Remus thing...genius There are some things money can't buy, for everything else...there's deal-with-it." My friends and I thought that was great, so thank you from deal-with-it and friends! You made our day! Thank you for your review!
Remusgrl01: Well, I'll give you one hint about the whole when is Remus and Ginny going to get together question: not in this chapter. Thank you for your review!
Bianca: I love Shakespeare, too, and that sonnet is my number one favorite by him. How could I leave you readers like that? Easy; I'm evil! Well, part evil... I think... Thank you for your review!
Andromida-1971: Thank you for your complements and suggestion! Thank you for your review!
Tante: I returned them. Thank you for your review!
Bonbons: Here's another chapter, please enjoy, and I hope you like it. Thank you for your review!
brokentoy19: The answer to the kiss being good or bad is answered in this chapter... and later. Thank you for your review!
Mon: Thank you for your suggestion, and thank you for your review!
Dangerous Soul: Yup, he tore the men apart. It was a little gooey, but, eh... Thank you for your complements and your review!
Magdelina: Uh, the answer to that question is in this chapter... and other chapters ahead... Thank you for your review!
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Blue Flowers of Celestial Years
Chapter 11: "Whispered Words"
Ginny lay on her bed; the dorm was completely silent and cloaked in darkness. She put her fingers to her lips that once had his lips press so gently against them.
Remus kissed her.
Even though it was not a deep kiss, it was still a kiss. As Ginny once heard muggles say, "A kiss is a kiss." Ginny sighed deeply and she rolled over on her side.
"You know he only thinks of you as a little girl."
Ginny groaned, turning over on her stomach, and slammed her pillow down over her head. Every time the darkness comes, so does the Dark Demon.
"You're only a little girl to him."
"And you're only an annoying voice of the past to me." Ginny responded, her high whisper muffled by the pillow.
"I'm you, Guinevere, you just have to face it."
"Guinevere?"
"You don't seem to like 'Virginia' any more, so I thought 'Guinevere' suits you best."
"When you called me 'Virginia,' I allowed it because I considered you my friend. You're not my friend any more."
"Oh, I'm hurt." Tom exclaimed sarcastically.
"Go away."
"Okay, I'll go away so you can goo-goo over that lykoi."
Ginny stilled, wondering what that name meant.
"What does 'lykoi' mean?"
"I thought you wanted me to leave you alone."
"Thomas! Answer me right now!"
But there was nothing but silence that answered her.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Remus could not bring himself to go to breakfast that morning. How could he look Ginny in the eyes now after what he did? He knew that he was not going to be able to avoid her for long, but just for now, he will.
Someone entered and closed the door behind them. Remus came out of the backroom and saw the redhead beauty standing in front of the closed door.
Avoiding has now gone out the window.
"Ginny." Remus said, nodding towards her in greeting. "How come you're not at breakfast?"
"How come you're not at breakfast?" Ginny asked with a raised eyebrow.
"I wasn't that hungry." Remus explained with a shrug.
"I wasn't that hungry either."
Remus stared at Ginny for a moment; both of their stomachs growled loudly in the heavy silence. The teacher sighed and went over to his desk, digging through the drawers.
"So what'll it be today? Chocolate Frogs, Bertie Botts' Every Flavor Beans..."
Ginny sat down in her usual chair and shrugged her shoulders.
"Anything would work." She proclaimed.
"Ah, I have some muggle snacks in here as well. You want some?"
"Anything would work." Ginny repeated. "Thank you, by the way."
"No problem." Remus said, shrugging his shoulders as he brought several muggle treats out. "Pick anything you think you will like."
Ginny reached for a chocolate candy bar; at her first bite, her eyes lit up.
"It's good." She complemented, taking another bite.
"It should hold you off until lunch."
They were silent, both enjoying their "breakfast." Ginny then remembered the word she heard last night.
"Remus, um, what does 'lykoi' mean?"
Remus flinched a bit and smiled sadly down at his muggle treat.
"I haven't heard that word in a while..."
"What does it mean?"
Remus studied Ginny for a moment.
"Who did you hear it from?"
"From... a very evil Slytherin."
"Ah, I see." Remus said, taking another bite of his food. "You know, I really should have a kitchen in here since all we do is eat in here all the time."
"What does 'lykoi' mean?" Ginny pressed, knowing that Remus was trying to change subjects. "I'd rather hear it from you than from another student."
Remus sighed, knowing he was not going to win with Ginny. When she had her mind on something, she was never going to forget about it until she wanted to.
"That word... 'lykoi,'" Remus began. "Means 'wolf' in the Greek language. However, now it is a word for someone who is a werewolf."
"What's so bad about that?"
"Well... it is a degrading word the equivalent to 'mudblood.'"
Ginny's eyes widened with horror at the injustice of the world. How can anyone discriminate against people for something that is not their fault?!
Ginny glared at the candy bar in her hand as if it was root of all the discrimination and injustice in the world; her hands shook in anger.
"How... could they...." She tried to talk, but could not form proper words through her rage. "Awful... lowly bastards..."
"Don't worry about it, Gin-Gin, I'm used to it."
Ginny snapped her glare at the man before her.
"Just because you're use to it doesn't make it right!"
"Ginny..."
"You deserve respect just like any other person!" Ginny yelped, fiercely wiping away the offending liquid off her face.
"Gin-Gin, listen..."
Remus gently took Ginny's hands in his hand, and he held them.
"One thing everyone has to understand is that the world is not fair. People will discriminate against things they don't understand. Werewolves fall into that category; our curse in infectious. If we bite people, they will also turn into werewolves; if we breed children, more than likely they will be werewolves... or half, it just depends on what the genealogy of the parents are... Any way, what I am trying to say is that injustice and discrimination is part of this world; how we handle it is how it matters."
Remus got a handkerchief out of the desk drawer and he gently wiped Ginny's tears off her face. She sniffed, took the cloth, and blew her nose.
"I understand what you are saying," Ginny said, holding the cloth in her hands. "But it's still unfair."
Remus smiled gently.
"I never said it wasn't fair."
Ginny let out a cross between a laugh and a sob.
"I'm sorry; I'm being silly." She said, now laughing. "But, you said that if werewolves ever breed children... they will end up werewolves, too?"
"Well, it depends on the genealogy of the parents; if both parents are werewolves, then the child will more than likely be a werewolf. If one of the parents is a werewolf, yet the other is not, then the child could be a half werewolf. The Wizarding world doesn't have any records of half werewolves, which is why it is practically impossible to know."
"Is there any records of children born of both werewolf parents?" Ginny asked, intrigued in the conversation.
Remus hesitated.
"There is not any on record, however..." he hesitated again. "I will tell you a secret I trust you will keep... In the deepest part of the Forbidden Forest, at least a hundred miles away from here, there is a colonization, or a village. In this village, the settlers are witches and wizards that seek shelter from the injustice of the Wizarding world.
"These witches and wizards are werewolves that colonized that area. They bewitched the land so that no one can Apparate to that place; the closest one can Apparate to is here, at Hogwarts. From there it is at least a hundred mile journey on foot because if you fly on broomstick, you will miss it. When I was there that one time, those witches and wizards had children who were werewolves, however, they are not on record."
"When... I mean, how did you come across that place?"
"Back in the First War, there was a bit of a dilemma the village's head chief was in that I saved him from. Even now, he is still indebted to me because I saved his life."
"I don't blame them for wanting some form of peace. I take it that village is not on the records either?"
Remus shook his head.
"Only werewolves know about it and, of course, Dumbledore; and he is not about to sell them out any time soon."
"Then why aren't you living there with them?"
"Well, I feel like I should be here."
"Why? Why are you here helping people when they will only turn their backs on you, and shun you for something you didn't cause? You have every right to hate them!"
Remus shook his head.
"All of us are only human, no matter what curses we have upon us. I don't hate them because James, Sirius, and... Peter has shown me that there are people in this world who are good, and they will accept someone for who they are.
"Also, my attitude also goes back to a vow I made when I was young; no matter how many times people hate me, threaten me, and hurt me, I will always help them. I will always want them to be happy in there life."
Ginny smiled both sadly and in admiration.
"You have more faith in mankind than I do."
Remus tilted his head to the side a bit as he studied Ginny.
"What made you loose faith in them?"
"Who... made me loose faith in them? That Dark Demon that haunts me every time there is darkness. I will never forget what happened to me, and I will never forgive him for it either. He betrayed my trust, used me, and was about to kill me if it wasn't for Harry."
"The Dark Demon..." Remus began, scratching his chin. "I do believe the Headmaster called him 'Tom' when he told me about it."
Ginny nodded, pushing her long sleeves up a bit as she examined the scars left behind.
"Thomas Marvolo Riddle." She whispered.
Remus looked at the scars that Ginny was examining on her own skin.
"You know," he began. "There is one of the greatest magics that exists, next to love that is, that can make those scars disappear."
"What is it?"
"Forgiveness." Remus answered. "One of the reasons Tom still haunts you is because you have never forgiven him for what he did. Forget is never easy, and I know no one can forget something like what you went through, no matter who they are; so, I do not expect you to do that.
"The second reason you still have those scars is because you have never forgiven yourself for what happened to you. In a way, you blame yourself for Tom's evils towards you, and you never forgave yourself."
Ginny gawked at Remus.
"Okay, are you the next Dumbledore? Shouldn't I be having this discussion with him?" Ginny laughed, causing Remus to laugh with her.
"Just try to work on that forgiveness, alright?" Remus said after his laughter was tamed.
Ginny nodded, her gaze falling on his lips; the same lips that kissed her. She quickly averted her eyes to the muggle treats that were on the table. She wanted to ask him question him about the kiss, but her Gryffindor courage failed her.
"How can a child be born half werewolf if only one parent is a werewolf?" Ginny asked, getting another treat.
"When one is bitten, the genes from the bite go into the cells and mutate them so it becomes part of that person; because the genes are in the person's cells, it is in the DNA."
"D... NA? That's the biology make up of our genes, right?"
Remus smiled and nodded, which Ginny nodded in return.
"I read about it in a book... Well, more like skimmed over it."
"The werewolf DNA mutates the human DNA," Remus continued. "And it becomes part of that person. They, in turn, pass it into their children when they conceive the child because of the passing of DNA."
"I understand what you're saying." Ginny nodded. "But, doesn't that mean the mother is the one that has to be a werewolf in order for her child to be half werewolf?"
"Why do you think that?"
"I heard that everything the mother has is shared with her child; her emotions, thoughts, blood, and even her soul. The father, although part of him is in the child the mother carries, is more of a... sire, or separate human from the child."
Remus nodded, agreeing to some of that.
"But," he debated. "That child still has the father's blood, or DNA, so the child could carry the werewolf gene. Yet, I agree with what you said about the mother sharing everything with the child. A mother would die for her child."
"Even Sirius' mother?" Ginny asked with wide eyes, not really believing that.
"Well, she's a... special case, so probably not. I'm talking about a nurturing, caring mother. That is why it is said that the most dangerous place to be is between a mother and her child."
"I agree," Ginny exclaimed, finishing her third muggle treat. "I know that if I ever have a child, I will to anything for him... or her. If anyone dares to hurt my child, I will be after blood! That is why I can't understand how Mrs. Black could treat her son the way she did; how Remus? How could she treat Sirius that way?"
Remus' face was solemn and his eyes were dark, the lively spark diminished from the blue hues.
"That... I mean, Mrs. Black had... problems, to say the least. She was so stuck on pure bloodline that she hated Sirius because he didn't want to hear about it. He was decent; not a pure blood maniac like his whole family, save for a rare few. Sirius had to grow up listening to it all the time, and when he got into Gryffindor, his family threw a fit because one, they had a reputation to uphold, and two, Sirius was not a pure bloodline maniac."
Ginny sighed sadly.
"Poor Sirius," she sympathized. "No wonder he hated being in that house, practically under house arrest. He just got out of Azkaban, and he was being treated like a prisoner; from one prison to another."
Remus nodded, deciding not to comment any more on the matter.
"Hey, Remus, why did you kiss me?" Ginny blurted out the question she had been meaning to ask, but did not mean to ask.
Remus was startled, to say the least; he had been hoping that they could avoid this subject, and he thought he was able to do that... until now.
"Well... that... um, I don't know how to explain..."
Ginny almost giggled at the "Always-Speaking-Perfectly" Remus as he stumbled over his words.
"I, uh, I liked it." Ginny said, looking at her hands, wringing her fingers.
"You liked what?"
"I liked the kiss."
Remus stiffened; he was hoping that Ginny would not think anything of it. But life just never is that easy. Ginny sensed their tense silence, so to do something so she would not get an ulcer from it, she got their wrappers from their muggle treats, and got up to throw them in the trash bin.
"Why don't you associate more with your peers instead of spending time with an old person like me?" Remus asked, trying to start easy with what he was trying to say.
"Do I bother you?" Ginny asked; a feeling of disappointment and sadness came over her that she could not explain.
"No, of course you don't bother me. I was just wondering what we could possibly have in common that keeps you around."
"You just... you're more enjoyable to be around."
Remus' eyebrows rose. "Oh, well, thank you."
Ginny nodded, her back still to him in front of the trash bin, and Remus searched through the pile of 'ungraded papers.'
"Do you want me to tell you something that will make you hate me?" Ginny suddenly asked.
Remus was startled. He looked at her; however, her back was still to him, so he only saw her fiery-red hair.
"No matter what you tell me, I would never hate you, Ginny."
There was a silence that lingered in which Ginny was using to gather up her courage.
"...I love you, Remus."
This time the silence was uncomfortable as the professor continued to stare at the back of his student's head. What should Remus say? Tell Ginny that he has feelings for her too? Tell her that they should run off to Germany and get married? No, he should not because he does not love her any more than a friend; a daughter. If he does, then he would accuse the "middle age crisis" he was sure he is going through. Remus will turn down Ginny gently.
"Miss Weasley, I'm sure that you are confusing friendship with love."
Oh yea, real gentle, Remus. Romulus said, speaking for the first time.
"I mean," Remus talked again, ignoring Romulus. "We have friends that we love, that we care about. What you feel toward me must be a friendly love, and I understand that you are confusing them."
Remus and Ginny were silent again. Finally, Ginny turned around to face her teacher.
"I have tried so hard to convince myself that is what it is." Ginny explained. "Believe me, Remus, I tried so hard that I ended up with many sleepless nights. Every time I thought of what it would feel like to kiss you, I would run to the showers and take a long shower. I didn't do that because you are so much older than I am, or because you are my teacher, but because you are my friend. Even though I once had a crush on Harry, I would do the same thing because he is my friend."
"Ginny... I can't love you. I'm sorry, but I can't."
Ginny slowly tilled her head up in stubbornness, symbolically standing up for how she feels towards the one person who does not return her feelings.
"If I was twenty years older, would you return my feelings?" she asked.
Remus hesitated, trying to decide whether he should answer honestly. He stood up and walked over to stand in front of Ginny.
"...Yes, I would." He finally answered.
"Then what is the difference?"
"The twenty year age difference."
"Age is only a number!" Ginny cried out.
"Not when it comes to student and teacher relationships." Remus calmly explained.
"Did you not feel something for me when you held me?" Ginny asked desperately.
"Ginny..."
"What about when you were changing into a werewolf in the woods, while we were facing Death Eaters, and I stayed with you despite the danger to my own life?"
Remus did not answer. His eyes dropped to the floor as if he found Ginny's feet more exciting than the conversation.
"What about when we were discussing that muggle, Shakespeare?" Ginny continued in a whisper as if talking about something sacred. "You kissed me. I could tell by your eyes that you felt what I did. Can you still tell me that you do not have feelings for me?"
Remus was silent; a war was raging inside him. One side of him wanted to hold Ginny and love her; the other side was telling him this is wrong, to break it off now before anything starts.
"I don't have any feelings for you." Remus finally told her, his voice sounded like he did not have a soul.
Something inside Ginny shattered, like her soul was ripped in half, along with her heart. That feeling traveled down to the pit of her stomach and hibernated there until it sent that feeling though her body. The feeling felt like knives running through her blood and her energy suddenly evaporated.
Surprisingly, Ginny did not cry.
All she did was barely nod her head and reach for the door handle.
"Thank you for breakfast." Ginny whispered, her throat felt tight so she was unable to say it in more than that low whisper.
She gave Remus a small smile before she left out the door, leaving Remus to himself.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
It was hard to look at Ginny the next following weeks. When she was in his classroom when he lectured, she kept her eyes to her notebook, intently taking notes.
When the bell rang, she never stayed after any more.
For Remus, it was like he was thrown into a world filled with monotonous cycles that he can not break; only one person could pull him out of it, and she was not there with him because he chose to push her away.
One night, Remus was grading papers at his desk, as usual. He had barely been concentrating on the first paper, and already it was 7:30 pm.
When 7:35 came, Remus looked at the door, expecting the redhead beauty to come through them, full of questions that she sought him for answers. Her smile and laughter would bring light into his world once again. But then he remembered he had pushed her away; he hurt her, and in return hurt himself as well.
Remus looked at the clock again; it was 7:45 pm. Ginny was not coming tonight. She is never going to come back again.