Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, you got that lawyers?! Or do I have to make a contract and sign it in blood stating it?!
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Blue Flowers of Celestial Years
Chapter 17: "Ginny's Patronus"
The man that was in her room kept coming back to her. Who was he? Why did her heart ache for him like it did? What was so special about him?
Ginny tossed over on her stomach.
She could not sleep a wink, or very little, since she got home. The face of the man with the light brown hair, a few streaks of grey hair in them, and crystal-blue eyes haunted her dreams; her heart cried out for him, though she did not know why.
No, she can not remember who he is.
Ginny knew the difference between can not remember and completely forgotten. While her mind somehow forgot him, her heart did not. It cried for him; ached for him.
Ginny often cried herself to sleep, although she did not know why. She tried to keep her sobs as low as possible, but there was one time when Harry heard her…
"Ginny?" Harry whispered when he opened the door.
Ginny tried to act like she was asleep, so she did not answer. She heard the door close, and thinking Harry had left, she started sobbing again.
"Ah, I thought you were awake."
Ginny sat up, looking at the curious man with a tear-streaked face.
"I heard you crying when I went to the bathroom." Harry explained, not wanting to sound like he was invading her privacy. "Why are you crying?"
"Who is he?"
Harry looked confused so Ginny elaborated on who she was talking about; describing him, everything.
"Oh, that man. His name is Remus J. Lupin."
At the sound of his name, Ginny's heart pounded at an accelerated rate. Once again, her heart ached and she had to choke back the sobs.
"Remus…." She whispered his name. "Who is he to me?"
Harry once again looked confused, and he shrugged his shoulders.
"Why do I ache to know him, Harry?" Ginny finally cried.
Harry was by her side in an instant, holding her as she cried. Ginny tried to bury herself in his arms, tried to loose herself in those deep green eyes, but her heart would not allow her to do that. She wanted the man in the room at Saint Mungo's; she wanted those crystal-blue eyes.
The man, Remus, looked so heart-broken when she did not remember who he is. Ginny sobbed again, knowing she hurt him, but was powerless to stop it.
"Ginny," Harry began very slowly. "Is there something going on between you and Remus?"
Ginny was startled by the question; phantom memories came into her mind, like ghosts moving about in her mind's eye. A man voice, whispering soothingly in her hear came back to her.
"I-I don't know if there was…" Ginny started. "Was there?"
Harry remembered how pale, expressionless, and pain-stricken Professor Lupin was; there had to be something going on between Ginny and Lupin because he had never seen so much emotion coming from a man who hid himself well.
"I think there was, Ginny; I think there was."
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"I can't believe this, Arthur." Mrs. Weasley sobbed as she cooked breakfast. "Going shopping for the last time; our last child's final year at Hogwarts."
"No, Molly, I can't imagine it." Mr. Weasley said, not really paying attention because of the stress he was under after Shacklebolt's death.
"When are we going shopping, mum?" Ginny asked, twisting the ring on her finger around.
"Next week, dear." Mrs. Weasley said, plopping an egg down on her plate.
Ginny twisted the ring on her "married" finger some more. Mrs. Weasley noticed that, and she shook her head, eyeing the simple, but priceless, white diamond on the ring.
"Ginny, I don't know why you don't take that ring off." Mrs. Weasley said as she sat down to eat her breakfast. "It will only scare the boys off."
Ginny looked at the ring, wondering why her heart was yelling at her to not take it off; never take it off. Well why not? It's only a ring…
Ginny slipped it off her finger; and her finger felt bare and foreign. It did not feel natural to leave the ring off, so she put it back on her finger for now.
The whole time, Harry was watching Ginny intently, wondering what was going on with her and Remus.
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August was the busiest time of the year for shop owners in Diagon Alley. Most witches and wizards were there for school supplies for their children, some just about to start Hogwarts; others were just about to end their school career at Hogwarts.
Ginny fell into the last category.
It was August 11, Ginny Weasley's seventeenth birthday; she was finally (and legally) of age. For her birthday, Mrs. Weasley went all out for Ginny.
In the morning, Mrs. Weasley cooked Ginny her favorite breakfast: eggs, bacon, and homemade English muffins. Ginny is the last of her children to reach seventeen, of course, so the Weasley mum made sure it was very special.
Around late noon, before any party happened, an owl arrived. Mrs. Weasley went to the window, got the letter off of the owl's leg, and looked at the address:
Ginny Weasley
The Burrow
After inspecting the envelope and feeling around for any objects in it, for she did not want a repeat of what happened last time; Mrs. Weasley decided it was safe to give to her daughter.
"Ginny, darling, you have a letter." Mrs. Weasley yelled up the stairs.
Ginny came downstairs and her mother gave her the letter. She stared at it in her hand for a while as her mother cooked and baked some more for the party. She looked at the handwriting on the envelope, knowing who wrote, but not knowing who wrote it.
Again, Ginny's heart cried out to her, telling her this letter is private. So, she went upstairs to her room, locked the door, and sat down on her bed with a plop.
Ginny turned the envelope over and over again, looking at it every square inch. Finally, she opened the envelope, reached in, and pulled out a card. On the front was a poem written in beautiful handwriting:
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of being and ideal grace.
I love thee to the level of every day's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for right.
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.
-- Elizabeth Barrett Browning
Ginny's heart fluttered; her heart knew who sent it, and it rejoiced, for never had he actually said "I love you" to her.
Ginny opened the card, and something dropped out of it. She quickly grabbed the object, looking at it curiously, and she read the writing:
Ginny,
I wish you the best on your seventeenth birthday, and I wish you the best. I'll always remember you, even when you do not remember me.
Remus
Ginny looked at the object she grabbed when it fell. It was a beautiful gold symbol; it was a circle, split four ways, and a small circle in the middle where the four lines meet. At the top of the first circle, where the gold, vertical split was, there was a small, gold arch that seemed so natural to be placed there.
Hanging though the gold arch was a small gold chain, used for a necklace. Remus turned the symbol into a necklace.
Ginny did not know why, but her eyes started to burn, her vision became blurry, and the liquid fell from her eyes. She wiped the liquid off her cheeks, wondering why she was crying, and she finally broke; it was like a dam that had been built up with water for the longest time…
Ginny had managed to stay cheerful throughout her birthday party. The necklace symbol was out of her mind, as well as the card, so she enjoyed herself.
Except for night; at night she stared at it, and cried some more, not knowing why, but felt as though she had to.
"Remus…" she whispered his name again and again, trying to remember who he was.
Phantom memories were the only thing that came to her mind's eye, along with the phantom voice that always whispered in her ear.
Merlin, how she wanted to remember him!
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After Ginny's birthday party, she and Mrs. Weasley went to Diagon Alley for some school supplies. Since Ginny was the last Weasley to be attending Hogwarts, money was less tight, and her mother got her useful, new items.
Granted, Ginny still had a few hand-me-downs, but it was less than her previous six years.
At Diagon Alley, Mrs. Weasley went into the twins' joke shop to grudgingly drop off their orders, and probably deliver a lecture.
It was taking a while, so Ginny went to the book supply store to see what kind of books they have on Healers. As she browsed through the books in a basically deserted area, she felt her heart cry out.
As if her feet were possessed, she walked to the next quiet and deserted book isle. There was not a single person there, except him; the man with the light brown hair, a few grey strands in it, and those crystal-blue eyes she always dreamed about.
"Mr. Remus?" she greeted timidly.
The man snapped his head towards Ginny's direction; his face became expressionless when he saw her. He was holding a book opened in both hands, and Ginny assumed it was because he was browsing through it.
The title, gleaming in gold letters, caught Ginny's eyes: Memory Modifying-the Cause and Effects.
Remus quickly snapped the book shut and put it back on the shelf.
"Mr. Remus is a bit, um, formal, isn't it?" he asked, giving her a small smile.
"Would you prefer Professor Lupin?" Ginny asked innocently.
Remus winced at the title coming from the redheaded fox.
"No," he said as he shook his head. "Just Remus; that's my name: Remus."
Ginny slowly walked over to the man, Remus, which her heart responded to. She eyed him up and down as he stared at her; both in comfortable silence.
"Thank you for the birthday card." Ginny whispered.
"You're welcome." Remus responded in the same fashion, pretending to look for another book.
"Was there something between us?" Ginny asked, looking around to make sure they were completely alone.
"Was it the poem on the front of the card that gave it away?"
"No; my heart keeps crying out for you. Why? Why do you affect me so?"
"Did I affect you, truly?"
Remus looked at Ginny's left hand, spotting her vacant "married" finger; she took the ring off. Ginny noticed him looking at her hand.
"It feels strange to not have it on there." Ginny explained, feeling she had the right to do so. "My mum was complaining about it, so I took it off to humor her."
Remus nodded, looking away.
"Do you know why my heart hurts?" Ginny continued. "Because, in my mind, I have forgotten you. I know that whoever I was in the past, I must have loved you very, very much; and I want to continue loving you, even if my mind does not know you."
Remus stared blankly at Ginny, and slowly, slowly a sad smile crept onto his face. He turned to leave when she grabbed his wrist, turned him around and kissed him passionately on the lips.
Remus groaned, giving into the kiss; and he kissed her back with just as much fire in his soul. They held on tightly to each other; one holding the other, never wanting to let go.
"How…? How did it happen?" Ginny whispered breathlessly between kisses.
"It was unexpected." Remus answered before they kissed again.
Their kisses were like fire, lighting their hearts and souls; it was so breathtaking that Remus had to grab the bookshelf beside him to keep them from falling over. He was sure that even if they did fall, they would not care.
"Remus…" Ginny breathed.
Remus groaned in response, holding her tighter to himself, his hand still steadying them against the bookshelf.
"Please say my name again." Remus whispered huskily in her ear, and turned to kiss her again.
"Remus…"
They kissed with more fire from their souls, if that was even possible, and Remus lost his balance.
The bookshelf fell, causing a domino effect with the other bookshelves. They fell over one by one, books falling all over the place; the last bookshelf fell on a statue of Merlin, and his head broke off.
"Oops." Was all Remus could say.
Ginny quickly grabbed Remus' hand, yanking him towards the exit. They just got out of the door when the bookstore manager came out of his office to see what all the commotion was about.
"Wait, Ginny, we have to go back in and—"
"Pay for the statue, Remus?" Ginny snapped. "That statue is worth thirty years of your pay check, and I do not want to explain to my mum that the reason it broke was because I was snogging my teacher!"
Remus had to smile as Ginny led him into the crowd of people, getting them lost in it. This Ginny was talking to him like his other Ginny would have in that situation. He laughed, despite his breathlessness. He felt like a teenager again for a moment, and he loved it.
After Ginny got them lost in the crowed, and away from the bookstore, she laughed.
"I'm sure a nice 'Reparo' spell would do the trick." She said, laughing, and breathing hard.
"It should; if not, then I don't know why witches and wizards are around if we can't even repair a statue." Remus agreed.
Ginny nodded, and she reached into her pocket, pulling out the Spirit Guide symbol with the gold chain still attached to it.
"I believe this is yours." She said, holding it out for him to take it.
Remus shook his head.
"No, you can keep it."
Ginny looked at the necklace, and then back to him.
"Tell you what," she started. "You can keep this…"
Ginny handed him the spirit necklace, and she reached into her pocket again, pulling out her ring.
"And, I'll keep this." She concluded, slipping it back on her ring finger.
Remus smiled, nodded, and accepted the necklace that she put over his head, and round his neck.
"Even if I can't mentally remember you, here is where I will." Ginny said, placing a hand over her heart.
"Fair enough." Remus agreed, nodding to her. "See you at Hogwarts in a few weeks, Gin-Gin."
Ginny's heart gave a leap; she smiled and nodded.
"Same to you, too, Rem-chan."
"Rem-chan?" Remus repeated, giving her a curious look.
Ginny giggled.
"Rem is shortening your name, and 'chan' is Japanese for 'cute.' So when I call you Rem-chan, I am calling you 'cute Remus.'"
"How… cute." Remus said, not really knowing what to say about it. He nodded to her again, and walked away.
Ginny sighed lovingly in his direction, heading back to Weasley Wizard Wheezes like she was walking on air.
The weather was warm and sunny, without any chance of it getting cold; it was perfect. With that in her mind, Ginny opened the door to the twins' joke shop. She stopped short, wondering why no one was there; where were they?
"Hello?" Ginny called out in the empty shop. "Fred? George? Mum?"
No answer came to her; just empty silence. Wondering why they would be gone, leaving the shop open, she raced out the shop.
The only thing that greeted her was an icy coldness that chilled her to her bone marrow. She shivered, folding her arms around her; her breath could be seen in front of her.
Ginny felt weird; all happiness was sucked out of the air, and all that could be heard was screaming. It is a darkness like this that brings back nightmares, and she had felt it before on the Hogwarts Express, her second year.
Shivering again, Ginny reached for her wand, pulling it out of her jumper's pocket. She shivered again, hearing screaming all around her. Not knowing if it was the cold darkness that was making her hear the screaming, or if it was really happening, Ginny headed towards the screams.
"Lumos!" Ginny yelled, seeing people all around her, some huddled in fetal position, and others were staring blankly in space.
Ginny shuddered; the people staring into space were the Soulless Ones. Their eyes were blank, soulless, and they did not have any recognition of themselves as they slowly turn to stare at her.
Ginny shuddered again, the air became even colder, and the people that still had souls were shivering, screaming.
Where is Harry when he is needed?!
With her wand still illuminated, Ginny turned back, looking straight ahead of her, only to see a dementor in front of her; too close to her.
Ginny took a step back; the vile, hooded creature shuttered in a shaky, rattling breath, and the icy air turned even icier.
Ginny shivered, feeling her happiness sucked out of her; voices started to come back to her like on the Hogwarts Express.
You petrified them, Virginia; it's your entire fault.
Ginny gasped, struggling to get a good memory, but every time she did, the dementor sucked it away.
It's your fault they were almost killed.
"Shut up, Tom!"
It's your entire fault, Virginia; it will always be your fault.
Ginny collapsed to the ground, not even caring to fight anymore. What was the use? She was not worth saving; look at what she had done.
The dementor hovered over Ginny, sucking out every bit of happiness out of her; her life force.
No one would want to save her.
Images of her opening a package came to her; inside was a chard head, coal-black, a single gold, looped earring in the ear, melted into the flesh. The seared flesh oozing from the skull, and the whiteness of the eyes dribbled out of the sockets.
The dementor lowered its hood; Ginny stared at the gruesome face that was always hidden beneath the black cloak.
The dementor did not have any eyes, thus, making it known why they were blind; it looked like a skeleton head, without hair or a nose, and rotting flesh. The only aura coming off of it was the icy coldness of death; and Ginny did not care.
She did not deserve to be saved because of what she had done to all her friends at school; she almost killed them.
The dementor was a breath away from Ginny's lips, the shuttering breath became even deeper; it opened its mouth, and sickening, pungent, rotten breath came out of its mouth.
Tom's evil, insane laughter rang in her ears; echoing.
No one would save her…
Then the image of a man came into her mind's eye, and her heart pounded with life once again. The man with the light brown hair, smiling lips, and warm crystal-blue eyes; the man who kissed her with all the love he had.
Remus…
Memories that she had forgotten in her mind came back to her with a powerful force. It was like her mind and heart finally connect, became one, and brought out the old Ginny that existed before the gruesome package, and even before the diary of Tom Marvolo Riddle.
Remus, the man that always believed in her no matter what wrong she did.
If we are to die, then we die together!
Ginny rolled over on her stomach, grabbing her wand; the will to live was back inside her once again, and her soul roared with a passion of fire.
Remus was happiness for her, and not a single dementor is going to take that away from her.
Ginny jumped to her feet, pointing her wand at the dementor; the happiness of Remus filled her body, and she concentrated on it, down to her hands.
"Expecto Patronum!"
The happiness that filled her body, shot out of Ginny's wand. Her patronus took an animal form, and not bothering to see what it was, Ginny sent it straight to the dementor.
The powerful, silver light illuminated all throughout Diagon Alley, spreading to every corner of darkness so dementors could not hide in them. The light caused the dementors to flee into the sky, off to their keeper (Voldemort), and away from the happiness.
The silver animal came back to Ginny, and she stared at it, not believing that it was her animal. How could it be…?
"Why do I have to get stuck with an animal like you?!" Ginny yelled at her animal spirit.
The silver animal's shoulders shook as if it was laughing mischievously before it disappeared.
At that moment, several Aurors Apparated to the scene, Tonks among them. Soon after the Aurors, the Order arrived as well. They looked around, shaking their heads at the Soulless Ones, and trying to help the ones that still had souls.
"Ginny!" a voice suddenly shouted that made Ginny jump.
She turned around, seeing her mother heading towards her. Mrs. Weasley wrapped her arms around her daughter and sobbed.
"I was scared! I was so scared, baby!"
"Why?" Ginny choked, her mother practically squeezing the life out of her.
"I couldn't find you after I left the store and then the dementors attacked!" Mrs. Weasley sobbed on her daughter's shoulder.
"It's alright, mum; I'm alright."
Tonks came up to Dumbledore, the Headmaster who just arrived.
"We got a signal from this area; a really powerful Patronus Charm!" Tonks exclaimed, amazed. "Is Harry Potter here?"
"No, Harry is at my house." Mr. Weasley said, looking confused.
Dumbledore smiled and winked at Ginny, nodding towards her to let her know he knows who produced the Patronus.
The twins came up at that moment, throwing their arms around Ginny.
"Don't ever leave us without telling us!" George scolded, hugging her tighter.
"Or we will force you to be a tester for every product we make for two years!" Fred concluded, also holding Ginny.
Poor Ginny felt like she was being squeezed to death. The Weasley father came up to the trio, pulled Fred and George off of Ginny, only to choke her with a hug.
"Dad, I'm fine, seriously!"
Arthur pulled back from his daughter, checking her for any wounds.
"I just wanted to be sure of it." He said with a laugh.
As the Ministry and the Order surveyed the damage done, Ginny scanned the alley, and a familiar person was standing there amidst the battlefield. His blue eyes landed on her, and he gave her a warm smile.
Ginny had the urge to run into his arms and kiss him deeply, but she did not dare do that because of her mother, father, two brothers, the Ministry, and the Order were there; it would have been quite a sight for them if she did.
Instead, Ginny calmly walked up to Remus, trying to be casual. She smiled at him, and said the first thing that came to her mind.
"How come you never wrote?" she scolded lightly.
"Well, I was not allowed to sent owls because that would give away our position to Volde—" Remus stopped. "Wait a minute! How did you know I didn't write to you?"
Ginny laughed.
"A run-in with a dementor can make memories come back, even good ones."
"So… you remember who I am?"
Ginny nodded sadly.
"I'm sorry I forgot you. I promise I'll never do it again."
Remus shook his head.
"Don't worry about it; it really wasn't your fault. Harry sent me an owl after the incident, telling me that the Healers said it possibly could be temporary."
Ginny looked back at the poor Soulless Ones.
"I heard you produced a full Patronus." Remus said, trying to get the redhead's mind off of the other people that could not be helped. "Did you find out what animal it is that guides you?"
"That animal is not my personality at all!" Ginny grumbled.
"What was it?"
Ginny mumbled what it was.
"I didn't catch that." Remus chuckled.
Ginny mumbled it again a bit louder.
"Still didn't catch that."
"A fox!" Ginny shouted, making everyone turn and look at her. "My Patronus was a bloody fox! How can I be a fox?! It would've made sense if I was a… a phoenix, or a wolf; but a bloody fox?!"
Remus snorted and laughed.
"Actually, it makes perfect sense."
"How so?" Ginny asked with a glare.
"A fox is a very tricky, cunning, and intelligent creature that will go to any means to achieve their goals. They are also very loving towards close ones, and are not quick to jump to a decision."
"That is not me…" Ginny grumbled, not wanting to admit those qualities are very much like herself when she thought about them long enough.
At this point, Fred and George came up to Ginny, poking her.
"Our sister, the fox." Fred teased, laughing.
"Shut up, Fredrick!" Ginny yelled.
"The very cunning man-killer." George also teased, poking Ginny's forehead.
"I mean it! Stop it!"
"Ginny the fox!" the said, in unison.
"Shut up!"
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AN: Phew… almost done… almost done… (authoress looks at her notes) Shite! Not quite done, but almost… (groans) After this fic is over with, I'm taking a little vacation. I have a Final Exam headache… (takes an extra strength Advil migraine pill) Good night… (falls asleep at her desk)
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neni potter: Now it is good for them! Thank you for your review!
brokentoy19: Now, it is yay Remus! Thank you for your review!
Remusgrl01: Did you think it was Remus' head in the package. I know a lot of my friends did… Yes, it was a plot twist. Thank you for your review!
Branmuffinpower: You are not the only one that found that strangely amusing, so no harm done. My friends also thought it was Remus in the package. Yes, Remus and Tonks coupling was mentioned, but I am not going to write about them, though I do see them as a plausible couple… in a sense. Snape with anyone is just… I dunno; he just does not seem like he is emotionally capable of handling a relationship, although we never saw him in love. Did you do your homework? (gets loveable naked Remus again, holding him by the collar around his throat) He's all yours if you do your homework! (smiles sweetly like umbridge) Thank you for your review!
Tante: Yes, angst is my specialty. I know; I'm weird. But I am attracted to angst, and I love angst. My friends often tell me I can really lay it on thick when it comes to depressing stories. Is that true? I need an "outside" opinion. Thank you for the British Slang look-up thingy! I will definitely check it out soon before I write the next chapter! You're married? That's cool! I can't wait to marry my love (sighs dreamingly and starts to daydream about her imperfect life with him… and then snaps out of it) Thank you for your review!
Elora Nova: "A BAR-B-Q HEAD IN A BOX!!" That made me laugh so hard, and a friend of mine said, "You should've put that as a chapter title!" She's crazy anyway. I felt sorry for Remus, too, but lately, I've been on this ILTTRS trip (I Love To Torture Remus Syndrome). Sirius is a virgin… got it. Maybe a lot of fans have this view of him being the "playboy" of the Marauders, and we think he slept with anything with lumps on the chest and a reverse penis. That is a bit pigheaded of us to think that. Okay… (authoress gives revieweress a virgin Sirius Black on a collar) Please forgive me! Thank you for your review!
Dangerous Soul: Yes, I am an evil authoress. A fan fic on what? Crap… (looks at all the other "Dangerous Soul" responds) Stupid short-term memory! (authoress hits herself on her head, making her headache worse; and she finally finds it) Oh! The whole Ginny-is-a-phoenix thing! Yes; please do a fan fiction on that! I'll look at your other fan fictions before my mind splits open, okay? Thank you for your review!
Miss Im-a-pissed-off-bitch: (backs away from very angry reviewer) Um, okay… she-she got her memory back… (backs away some more) Thank you for your review…. (gulp)
Elizabeth Turner: Why do bad things always happen to Ginny? Um, because your explanation for it all really does explain a whole lot! Great explanation, by the way! Does this chapter make you happy now? I hope so. Thank you for your review!
Cerdwyn3: Did I forget to tell you? I'm a bit of a Drama Queen. No, Harry is not going to court Ginny while poor Remus has to stand back and watch it all happen. No way would I do that to Remus; I may be cruel to him, but I'm not that cruel. I'm just very cruel to Ginny because of what is going to happen later on… (gulps and backs away from reviewer) Please don't kill me… (authoress gets behind an anti-flaming wall) Thank you for your review!
Bonbons: Thank you for your complements! Make it a… happy ending…? (authoress looks at notes) Um… a happy ending? (authoress suddenly gets nervous and backs away) A happy ending… (laughs nervously) Thank you for your review! (runs away before reviewer can catch her)
fille-drole: Well, she does remember him in this chapter. You're not going to go on a rampage, are you? (authoress holds up an anti-flaming shield) I should've used this against 'the counter.' Thank you for your review!
Gummadoon Fanatic: I didn't leave it there. Yes, I am too cruel to poor Remus; I suffer from ILTTRS (I Love To Torture Remus Syndrome). In a couple of chapter later I'm about to get the ILTTGS (I Love To Torture Ginny Syndrome). Thank you for your review!