AN : This is one of my favourite chapters – I have actually pulled a couple of these pranks of my own teachers – obviously not the leprechaun one, but a few of the others. Review and guess which ones!
Disclaimer : squawking like a seaqull Mine! Mine! Mine! – actually… no… not mine.
Chapter 6 : Fool in Love
The following week passed quickly, but not quick enough in Harry's opinion. Why? He asked himself over and over again, why do I bother interfering in their love lives? But each time he found a small voice answering because they are meant to be together. And it was this small voice that helped him get through the weeks lessons that Ron tried to ruin in order to destroy Hermione – but to no avail. Harry might have been happier if Hermione had been upset, but on the contrary, Hermione, still affected by the potion of some six night's ago Hermione was acting as if lessons didn't interest her at all – in fact nothing seemed to bore Hermione more – she seemed to welcome Ron's interruptions in the lessons.
Ron had tried everything he could think of to disrupt the lessons. He had started bringing a leprechaun to charms lessons insisting that he'd hired the monkey to take notes for him. He sat back and relaxed during class, letting the leprachaun scribble on a piece of paper. When it comes time to write a paper or take a test, Ron would write down things like, "Top o' the mornin' to you!" and "I'm sittin' on a pot o' gold." The previous lesson Ron had angrily fired the monkey in front of Professor Flitwick, who looked positively confused, and Hermione, who looked positively delighted.
But if Charms was strange it was nothing to Herbology lessons which the seventh years usually had as the first lesson of the day. He would get there before anyone else, and bring a pillow, some blankets, an air mattress, and an alarm clock. Wearing his pyjamas. He would lie down on the air mattress with the pillow and the blankets and pretend to be asleep. The alarm would set off about two minutes into class. When it went off, very loudly, he would simply hit the "snooze" button and went back to sleep and continued doing so for the duration of the class.
However, Transfiguration was dangerous with Ron around. Every time that Hermione so much as glanced at Ron during the lesson he would "accidentally" set fires at his desk. Burning books, parchment, or whatever he had handy. Whenever he started a fire, no matter how small it was, he would start yelling, "Fire! Fire!" and run out of the room in a panic not returning for the rest of class.
Defence Against the Dark Arts often featured Ron sitting way at the back of the room, up against the wall, to get as far away from Professor Lupin, who had returned to teach them, as possible. While he was lecturing Ron would shout out things like, "What?" and "Speak up! You're mumbling!" Professor Lupin often advised him to sit closer to the front, but Ron would reply that he couldn't because he was scouting the room for "assassins."
Harry wondered whether Ron would begin to get bored of trying to upset Hermione, who only grew more cheerful with each of Ron's attempts. But instead Ron found new tactics such as hiding in her Arithmancy lessons revealing himself halfway through the class, jumping out and yelling, "Just kidding! I'm here! Fooled you again!" Then sitting down and being quiet as if nothing had happened and he belonged in the lessons.
The Ancient Runes professor, who was considerably ancient himself, was given several abstract paintings by Ron as gifts. The paintings were called things like, "Professor Acting Like Mr. Know-It-All" and "Idiot Who Doesn't Know What The Hell He's Talking About."
However, all the teachers seemed unfazed. Perhaps they welcomed a bit of fun around Hogwarts since Fred and George had gone, maybe they thought it was his duty as brother to fill in their shoes. Whatever the teachers reasoning they chose to ignore Ron's blatant attempts to ruin Hermione's education. Well, that is, nearly all the teachers.
On the seventh day, exactly a week since Harry's and Ginny's match-making skills had failed, Snape seemed to have reached boiling point with Ron.
Every time Snape sneered at a Gryffindor's work, which was very often, Ron would take a shot. After several shots Ron was quite drunk. He was so drunk in fact that he fell off his stool grabbing onto his inkwell for support and tossing the contents all over Hermione.
Hermione, who would normally have been livid by this, positively beamed at Ron. Harry was in despair – why didn't she just look at him like that before? Then this would never have happened.
And then, a miracle happened.
"Her-my-oh-knee hick would you like a drink?" Ron was obviously trying to annoy Hermione by offering her alcohol, knowing she didn't drink, and would never even dream of it – she was Head Girl after all.
"Yes please," she uncharacteristically replied.
Ron poured her and himself a shot, which they both downed at once.
"Her-my-oh-knee…hehe" Ron giggled to himself, yet pronouncing every syllable of her name clearly, "that's a very, very, VERY pretty name."
Hermione blushed furiously. Harry was more inclined to believe that this was the effect of the fire-whiskey rather than Ron.
"You're very pretty too. All of you! Not just you're name, but your face too…" Ron stretched out a hand to stroke her face, but caught it in her bushy curls. Hermione let out a whimper of pain and tried to disentangle him, Ron however seemed unabashed, "I don't care if I'm tied in your hair forever. I want to be this close to you forever, and ever, and ever and ever and…"
He stopped. Harry, who had been burying his face in his hands fearing the worst, looked up to see that Hermione had silenced him – with a kiss.