Far Gone

See disclaimer in the Prologue

I must be dreaming or

We're on to something

I must be dreaming, for

I don't fall in love lawlessly

I must be dreaming or

Pinch me to waking

So undeniably yours

As long as I am losing it so completely...

Frou Frou, "Must Be Dreaming"

Mystaria. Windaria. The two sides of the coin, two halves of the same bipolar world.

The legends said that the realms of the two races were cut off after the great war between them ended; sealed away by the power of the sleep spirits Nallorn and Gaedrian. The barrier was the same that gave the Sky People their homea thick, almost impenetrable wall of clouds. For two hundred and fifty years, there had been peace between the peoples of earth and sky... in other words, they ignored each other almost completely.

The Spiral of Darkness was an object of curiosity that no one really paid attention to, anymore. The two peoples of the wind had grown used to it; after all, it had been there for quite some timeno one knew exactly how long ago it had appeared.

Kaze and Aura were born of the Earth People, living their lives between ground and sky. Kiri and Kumo were of the Sky People, knowing only cloud and stone, free-spirited swordsmen to whom the word sky meant the great expanse of blue above them; a realm of endless possibility.

For years, they had no knowledge of each other's existence.

But when the attacks on their world began, all of that quickly changed...

Crux sat alone in the high alcoves of the huge room, her arms tightly fitted around the red cloak that had once belonged to the madoushi, her dear Kumo's brother.

She had seen every moment of the horror, and it was still engraved in her mind.

Oscha's grotesque true form, Kumo's terrified pleas for mercy, the pitiful state of his body, and, of course, everything that had happened after... Kumo had been brutally beaten, raped, and forced into oral sex. And after he was satisfied, Oscha had just left him there.

Kumo, half-dead and too weak to stand, had dragged himself out of the room, to the castle's exterior... and fallen. She had seen ita thin bolt of white dropping through the gauzy veil of clouds.

She had no way of knowing even if he was dead or alive. Was he still suffering? Had he found solace with someone willing to take care of him? Had he run into further misfortune? She didn't have any idea, and it was driving her out of her mind.

And then she heard it.

Oscha and Herba were heading down Gaudium's halls, apparently deep in discussion over something. Because she was small and in their opinion beneath their time, she was able to listen in undetected.

"He should be with the Black Wind and the rebel army," Oscha was saying, sounding self-satisfied as always. The sound of his voice made Crux's back crawl with revulsion. "Do whatever you like with him, but remember that you must bring him back alive."

The plant-woman laughed. "Of course, Oscha darling. Little Makenshi-chan belongs to His Excellency... and we'll definitely need him back before we try to move Pist's Ocean Puzzle; his power may be too great to contain. Don't worry... I'll see what I can find out first. And just a little passion-flower won't cause too much of a bother... I'll be able to learn what he and my Magun baby are thinking."

He's alive! Thank God! Crux felt her joints loosen in relief. Oscha and Herba were heading back out of earshot, but she'd heard what she needed to know. Kumo was alive. And as of now, in danger.

She would have to go out on her own and warn him.

"Here you go! All done."

Miles, the second-in-command of the Comodeen, held up Kumo's blouse, displaying that every tear and stain had been washed and repaired. She'd finished with most of his uniform already; only his cloak still needed fixing. As Kumo had stopped bleeding just a day ago, he was wearing the clothes he'd gotten back.

"Kansha suru!" Bowing in gratitude, he accepted the shirt, pulling it on. "You're amazing... I could never have done this well with the tears."

"Yeah, well..." Miles shifted and looked at the ground, trying not to smile. She was the best with needle and thread of all the Comodeen, though she didn't really like displaying her 'girlier' side. "Not many people would envy someone's sewing talents."

"Try telling that to me or anyone else whose ability with needles is comprised only of stitching up shallow wounds," Kumo retorted happily.

Miles shook her head wryly and fluffed Kumo's hair. "You're a good kid, you know that?" He smiled, and she couldn't help but give him a crooked verson of the same. "Go on, get out of here. Pester Kaze for me. Go... shoo. I still have work to do." Obediently, Kumo trotted off, the long ribbon fixed to the back of his choker collar trailing after him.

As soon as he was in the hall of the submarine, Kumo let the smile drop from his face. His explosion two days ago had completely exhausted him, and although it did feel good to let everything out, it also brought the pain and shame back to him in full force.

If that wasn't bad enough, he hadn't been so out of it that he'd missed Lisa's reactions to it all. She'd been so sympathetic at firsthe'd seen in her face how much she'd ached for himbut as soon as he'd mentioned his relationship with Kiri, she'd suddenly gone icy, and her pathos from that point on seemed so forced. It had disturbed her deeply; it had cut him to the heart to see the relief on her face when he'd let them know that he and Kiri had never actually made love. Despite Kaze's insistence that his love for his brother was acceptable, he had begun to feel more and more like something was really wrong with him. Seeing Lisa's reaction on top of what Chaos and his Deathlords had been telling him all along had made it worse than ever.

A tap on the glass window beside him shook him out of his thoughts. He turned, unsure of what to expect, and gasped at what he saw.

"Crux!" Hitting a switch on the wall, he pulled down the window to let the little sprite-doll in. Her breathing was rapid, and strands of her pale violet hair were trailing from beneath her heavy helm. Apparently, she'd come straight here from Gaudium, as quickly as she could. Tucking her into his arms, Kumo leaned against the wall, holding her gently against his chest. "Are you alright? What happened?"

"Kuriyu," she tried to get out between shallow gasps for breath. "Ku..."

"Easy," he said softly, looking down at her with deep concern. "Take your time. This place is relatively safe."

Sitting up, Crux held out a dark folded something that she had been clutching all that time. Kumo, uncertain, took it, then stared, his eyes widening in disbelief. "Niisama's..." It was Kiri's cloak. Kumo pressed the deep crimson cloth to his chest, squeezing his eyes shut tightly in pain. "I thought I'd lost it... thank you. But..." He looked up at her, his expression sober and miserable. "You saw, didn't you?" he asked, though he already knew the answer. Crux hung her head, but nodded. Giving her a gentle hug, he chewed his lip, sighing. "I'm sorry. I didn't want you to get involved..."

"Kuuu," she cried, looking indignant.

Kumo shut up, then smiled after a short pause. "I... you're right. I'm sorry."

"Ku," she said with a huff, rolling her eyes.

"I know... I'm sorry."

She shook her head at him, then pressed close to his heart for a moment. While he held her, she told him everything she had overheard, and he listened with grave sobriety.

"Passion flower," he murmured. "It impedes rational thought and provokes the inner desires of the mind. Those who breathe its pollen come under its influence, and are more likely to act on reckless emotion than usual." He frowned. "What's she planning?"

This was a bit of worry for Kumo. Although he took care to preserve a restrained, quiet outward manner, he knew all too well that he had his own violent side. While summoning, while he was most open, he was most in tune with this side; being interrupted while calling the Ittenju not only irritated him but could release that other side. Once, he had attacked Kaze in a fit of temper for interrupting him; he still hated Pist with a bloody, violent, frightening vengeance for humiliating him in the same way in front of the Earl and the other Deathlords. Pist would reap that hatred sooner or later, and Kumo almost pitied him for it. Almost.

When he had first realized he had this darker side as a child, he and Kiri had worked to contain it. Kiri had insisted that it was almost like someone else's soul had gotten mixed up with Kumo's; from that point on, he'd always called the dark side by the name he chose for it, "Sumire". Whatever the case, that dark side was the source of all the hatred and base emotion that Kumo's heart held... and that included sexual desire. The nights he'd awakened abruptly and had to force himself to look away from his sleeping brother, the ache was so bad... Kumo barely kept himself from blushing just thinking about it.

So what would this strange and unpredictable side of Kumo's psyche do, if freed by the passion flower...?

"Kuu?"

He blinked, remembered what he was doing, and shook his head. "It's nothing important." He put his hands on Crux's small shoulders and stared into her eyes. "You've got to get back to Gaudium now, before they realize you're gone. If they figure out what you've been doing here, they'll kill you, and you've gone through enough on my account already. I couldn't live with myself if that happened. Please just go."

Crux gave him a forlorn look, then hugged him tightly. "Kuu..."

Kumo's heart tightened painfully. "I know. I know. And I'm sorry that I worry you so much, I truly am. But I can never go back to Gaudium now. I'm expendable to them... and I don't want to be the Earl's toy anymore. Someone needs to tell the little brat that he can't have everything he wants, and it looks like I've been chosen for the role. But you... you're already too involved in all of this. Please just go."

Crux sighed, then left, a tiny streak of color in the large empty sky. Kumo watched her until she was gone, then continued down the hallway to his makeshift room in the infirmary.

Clutching his brother's cloak to his chest, he let the silent storm of tears carry him away.

"Just one flower should be potent enough to do the trick," Herba said to herself, setting the brilliantly colored seed into the sandy soil. Covering it with loose dirt, she snapped her fingers, and watched the innocent-looking little flower crawl its way up through the sand. "No one will be able to resist it now. I'll know everything... just how to manipulate them in every way possible. I'll show His Excellency that Pist isn't the only one who can make plans.

"My darling little Makenshi-chan, are you going to fall back on old habits now?"

Kaze slipped into the room as silently as possible, sitting down next to his once-rival's bed.

The past week had been confusing for him. Learning that Kumo wasn't at fault for Aura's death had been shock enough, but his clinging dependence baffled him even further. He felt strange whenever the swordsman was around him... he was unsure of what to say or do in order to keep his composure; just being Kumo's rock to lean on was tough enough. Somehow he'd managed not to get his foot in his mouth yet, but the moment would come, and the damage that might do to Kumo's all-too-fragile psyche haunted him.

Looking more closely, he realized that the little swordsman was trembling violently in his sleep, his hands tight fists on the sheets of his bed, his breath sounding with little whimpers. About to touch Kumo's shoulder to wake him, he realized that the younger man was speaking softly.

"Otósan... Okaasan..." He shuddered, then called out again, louder this time. "Otósan... Okaasan...!" Abruptly, Kaze noticed the tears clinging to Kumo's thick eyelashes, heavy and ready to fall. "Niisama...!" He was all but screaming now, shaking and crying and calling for those long dead. "Niisama! It can't be...! It just can't be...! Okaasan! NIISAMA! No! Please... please, no...!" The tears started to trace down Kumo's cheeks in a salt flood, his cries twisting. "My heart... my heart hurts..."

"Wake up," Kaze said softly, giving the swordsman a rough shake. "Kumo... Shiroi-chan. Wake up."

Kumo's soft jadeine eyes snapped open. Seeing Kaze, he flung himself into the gunner's arms and proceeded to cry his heart out.

Afterwards, Kaze would wonder what in the nine hells had possessed him to do something so crazy and potentially stupid. But at the time, it had seemed reasonable.

Supporting the desolate white swordsman with his left arm, he turned, leaned towards him, and softly pressed his lips to Kumo's tearstained cheek.

As Kaze pulled away, Kumo looked up at him with surprise, his sobs quieting although his breath still hitched and there were still tears in his eyes.

"Kaze..."

One of them must have leaned forward a little, because the next moment, they were tangled up in a mutual embrace, their lips locked together, their hearts a raging storm of emotion.

Lisa, sighing, stared out the window, feeling a little sulky. She had once hoped to become friends with Kaze, morose as he could be; now, it seemed she was losing all prospect of getting close to him... because he was wrapped up in taking care of Kumo, the young man he had not so long ago wanted to kill.

Kumo, who was still in love with his dead brother.

Lisa was still a little bit dubious about that. She hated the way that she sometimes passed judgement without knowing the whole storythat impeded the growth and power of her Kigen Arts, and without those she couldn't protect the kidsbut the concept of incest disturbed her. She couldn't help being relieved to know that Kumo and his brother had never had sex, but from the other things he'd said and the way he'd said them, it had been a close thing. Although she sincerely wanted to help Kumo, these things made her a little bit... well, uncomfortable.

And this was the man she was losing Kaze to...

Realizing what she was thinking, Lisa blinked, frowned and shook her head. "Losing Kaze to"? I think I've been reading too many romance novels lately...

"At this rate, I doubt if we'll ever get to see Mom and Dad again," Yu said with a sigh, staring out the submarine's window. "I wish we could just get going... Kumo will be staying with us for a while, so I wish we didn't have to wait..."

Ai shook her head. Her brother had been going on in this line for about five minutes now, talking to the glass and completely ignoring her and Chobi, who was prodding the boy's hands with his beak in an attempt to get petted. Sometimes he drove her absolutely insane... and when he got depressed like this, he started to remind her of Clear.

Although she did worry about the older boy, Ai knew that it wasn't healthy to spend all her time moping about it. As a part of Omega, Clear would be able to take care of himselfprobably. Just so long as he didn't wipe out too much of Wonderland before she could give his protective glove back to him. So she didn't like it when Yu got on his tangents and made her think about it more than she should've.

"Come on, Chobi, let's go outside." The chocobo, perking up, followed her over to the hatch, and the two of them stepped off the sub onto sand.

All of the adults had been moody lately. Lisa was staring off into space, Cid was deep in renovating some new invention or other, Miles was brooding, and even Fungo, the youngest member of the Comodeen, was strangely quiet. Kumo was asleep and Kaze had gone off to watch over him. If everyone kept acting so depressed, she was going to scream...

That was when she spotted the little flower poking up out of the sand.

"Huh." Bending down, Ai poked at it. It seemed to be nothing more than a plain, ordinary little flower. It was pretty, to be sure; it looked a little like a miniature tiger lily, but it didn't seem more than that. So, being the twelve-year-old that she was, Ai reached out and pulled it up.

As soon as the flower was out of the sand, it disintegrated into dust, slipping through Ai's fingers like the fine meld of gold and brown she'd pulled it out of. Pouting, Ai made an annoyed noise. "It figures. Just another weird old Wonderland flower." She stomped off around the side of the submarine. "C'mon, Chobi."

"Kaze... Kaze...!"

Lying on his back on the bed with his clothes half-undone and the gunner leaning over him, it was all that Kumo could do to call out feverishly. His entire body throbbed with the need for oneness, burned with the slow aching fire that Kaze's touch had spread.

"Nnngh... Kaze..."

There would be no interruption this time. If he let this continue, things would tumble out of control, and he and Kaze would... they'd actually do it.

And yet for some reason, he didn't care. Both body and mind screamed desperately for that last barrier to be broken, as if in making love he would finally rinse himself of the taint of Chaos.

"Kaze... ah..."

His mind spun away from him into a realm of heady color and light as Kaze's lips moved against his throat, retracing the patterns that Kiri had forged on that day long ago

Kiri.

The thought of his brother, of long soft crimson hair and gentle carmine eyes filled to bursting with love, stopped the overwhelming heat of desire instantly, replacing it with chill and frost.

Would he break his vow so casually yet again?

Finding control of his hands, he shifted, gained purchase against Kaze's chest, and pushed the gunner away, letting tears spill down his face.

"I can't... I'm sorry, I can't... I can't do this right now!"

Struggling to shed himself of Kaze's weight, he edged away, getting shakily to his feet and fleeing down the corridor, leaving the gunman to wonder if he had done something wrong.

Miles, humming a random tune to herself, was walking down the hall with the last basket of laundry when Kumo tore up it, straight towards her, his face bright pink and tearstained. Dropping the clothes, she caught him mid-run, forcing him to stand still.

"Are you alright? What's wrong?" she asked, staring. Kumo was breathing hard, distraught, and losing control of his own Mist; a haze of white was rapidly thickening the air around the two of them. "You're all red, and you're covered in sweat. Just look at you." Smiling crookedly, she rubbed the young man's shoulder. "You know what? I think you could use a chance to get clean. Come on, let's go to the shower rooms. If you want, you can tell me about it there. A bath would probably help you right now."

Kumo nodded, half-sobbing, and leaned on Miles' shoulder as she gently coaxed him along.

With an exasperated sigh, Kaze plunked himself down at the mess hall table. Since it was the middle of the day, no one else was around except Cid, who was sitting across from him and tinkering with some new mechanical creation.

"Something wrong?" the blonde inventor asked, scrubbing sweat off his forehead.

Kaze hesitated for a moment, then decided to break the silence. "I... think I may have made a mistake..."

Once the bath was full, Kumo slipped out of his clothes and undid his choker, then delicately stepped into the water and sat down. Though Miles had been ready to turn away if Kumo had wanted privacy, he didn't seem to care. Having been forewarned, the violet-haired woman didn't flinch at the sight of the young swordsman's fading bruises, but hissed in sympathy instead. "You look like you're still really hurting."

Kumo shrugged, giving her a smile with a visible effort. "It's not so bad. I've been through much worse in my life than a few bruises."

"I'll bet," Miles replied, handing him a washcloth. "Scrub. You're covered in sweat and you need to get some of those cuts cleaned. Something happened with Kaze, didn't it?"

Kumo paused and looked up at her. "How...?"

"You were alone in there until he went in to check up on you," Miles pointed out. "It wasn't that hard to guess." She frowned and gave Kumo a look. "Was he coming on to you?"

Kumo blinked and stared at her in puzzlement. Sighing, she shook her head and tried to find a different way of wording it.

"You know... did he try to persuade you to do something you didn't want to with him?"

Turning pink, Kumo shook his head. "No! No... it was nothing like that..." His gaze drifted past her, heading for the door. "I... was dreaming about my parents... he woke me and held me and let me cry... I'm not really sure how it happened, but we..." Blushing further, he touched his lips, which were still slightly swelled.

"Ah." Miles nodded. "So you wound up kissing somehow or other. I'm... not all that surprised, you know. Kaze might not act like it all the time, but he cares for you." She patted the young man's shoulder. "I'm guessing that as you were alone and in bed and it was dark, stuff escalated?"

Crimson with shame, Kumo gave a tiny nod. "But... I didn't want to break my vow with Kiri-niisama a second time... I just couldn't." He was too guilt-stricken to tell her the rest of it... how badly he had wanted to stay, until he and Kaze were one forever... and how Kaze had wanted it just as badly.

"You really love your big brother a lot, don't you?" Miles asked, ruffling his hair. "Don't be surprised or scared... I won't hold it against you. You're a good kid, and who you love is your business alone. But I have a question for you... did you ever make love before you started getting abused?" Kumo shook his head. "Do you think that Kaze would hurt you purposely?" Another shake of the head. "And do you think that Kaze would be able to love you, both from the heart and the body, in the same kind of way your brother loved you?" Kumo paused, then gave a shy nod. "Then you don't have to worry about anything. If Kaze starts something that you don't want to continue, tell him no and leave. No one can force you to have sex with him, least of all Kaze himself, if he really loves you. Wait until the time you think is right, and don't let anyone else decide that for you." She smiled wryly. "Don't worry. Kaze may act like a dumb jerk sometimes, but he's not entirely brainless. Especially after what you've been through, he won't make you do anything you don't want to. Now close your eyes... I'll do your hair for you."

Kumo smiled back and shut his eyes obediently so that Miles could rinse out his soft white hair.

"So basically, you're worried that you've been coming on too fast?" Cid asked, looking up.

Kaze grimaced. "...Yes." His voice had lost a great deal of its hoarseness; he had talked a great deal more than he had for quite a long time, and his throat was starting to warm up to speech again.

"If Kumo isn't ready yet, you just have to wait until he is," the inventor replied, swiping a cloth across a sheet of metal. "Obviously he cares for you, because if he didn't he wouldn't have let you get that far... but he's probably still too emotionally fragile to do anything like that."

"He said he still had a pact with his brother," Kaze mused.

"Yes, that's probably part of it too. I think he's probably still in love with his brother... even after all this time and the things that happened in the city of clouds. But once he sorts his emotions out, he'll let you know. Don't pester him about it, and don't try to force him to do anything. Considering what he's just gone through, doing that would mean you'd lose him forever."

"I figured that much," the gunman said under his breath, rolling his eyes.

"Just let him decide what the right time is for both of you. If that means you have to hold back when you're around him, so be it. Just let him know that you aren't mad and you're trying to respect his judgement and you'll let him choose what he wants to. Don't pressure him, he'll get angry at you."

"So much advice from someone without a girlfriend," Kaze remarked slyly.

Cid shrugged; Kaze let out a cough that sounded suspiciously like "Miles", but didn't press the matter any further.

"At any rate, just wait for Kumo and try not to do anything stupid while you do," the inventor said, reaching across the table to clap Kaze on the shoulder. "It's all in his hands now."

"Such a wonderful load of information," Herba gloated to herself. "And now for the blackmail... first, I just need to check on how my little hana-chan is doing!"

But when she approached the spot where she'd planted the passion flower, Herba only found a pile of thin gray dust. She stared at it incredulously, then burst out in a temper tantrum, stamping her feet, waving her arms, and looking not unlike her young employer.

"ARA-! Someone picked my manipulative little hana-chan! Ohhh, they're in for it NOW! They'll see why Herba-chan is called the Poisonous Blossom of Gaudium!"

Kumo was half-asleep with his head on Miles' shoulder while she finished up the laundry when they heard the explosion.

Along with everyone else, they raced outside.

...And saw a certain flower woman waiting for them, an evil-looking angry smile on her face and pure hatred in her flat red eyes.

"Well, hello there, my dear Makenshi-chan!" she called. Kumo bristled. "Don't you think you'd better come back to Gaudium now? His Excellency's missing you..."

There was a click, and Kaze's shotgun was pointed straight at her. "He's not going anywhere," the gunner said in a low, threatening tone of voice.

"Why, it's my little Magun baby!" Herba cooed. Kumo and Lisa both twitched. "Aren't you so protective all of a sudden? I wonder what could have happened to bring the two of you so much closer together..."

"What do you want, you ugly witch?" Miles demanded, her hand at her belt, ready to whip out her panpipe loaded with blowdarts.

"It's simple," Herba said with a sneer. "Hand Makenshi over... if you want to live."

(TBC)