Far Gone

See disclaimer in the Prologue

I'd surrender everything

To feel the chance to live again

I reach to you--I know you can feel it too

We'd make it through

A thousand dreams I still believe

I'd make you give them all to me

I'd hold you in my arms and never let go

I surrender...

Celine Dion, "I Surrender"

"We're almost to the end of the ocean," Cid said happily, heading down to the mess hall. He'd put the submarine on autopilot so that he could go and get some semblance of breakfast. "At this going rate, we'll reach Teros in no time at all!"

Kumo, who'd been resting in the main hall with his head on Kaze's shoulder, opened one eye to follow the inventor's progress; when Cid was out of sight, he closed it again and snuggled a little closer to the black-clad gunner. It had been a few days since his brush with madness, and he was recovering as quickly as one could expect, but the strips of linen that bound his chest and arms still peeped from the wide-cut neck of his blouse and under his sleeves. There had only been one "scratching" episode since, but Lisa still bandaged his hands every night just in case, ensuring that he wouldn't do any further damage.

Kaze himself was sleeping, his face still turned slightly towards Kumo, his expression blank and peaceful. There was now obvious affection in the glances he shot the swordsman, just as much as the obvious gratitude that Kumo looked at him with in return. However, nothing had happened between them other than the occasional kiss on the cheek; Kumo was still skittish about going any further and Kaze had decided not to push the issue.

Lisa, who was currently looking after the twins in the mess hall, could not help but be glad for that. Every time she saw Kaze's lips pressed to the swordsman's cheek, she felt heartsick with jealousy. She hated herself for it, but she couldn't help her feelings nonetheless. She had no reason to begrudge Kumo the small amount of comfort he dredged from Kaze's affection, but she still had to look away when she saw the two of them together. Some part of her still wanted to be in that place, receiving the loving glances that Kaze shot the little swordsman, allowed to rest against his side.

But neither Kaze nor Kumo seemed to have any idea of her secret feelings, so Lisa couldn't complain. She didn't know what would be worse--the pain of conscious rejection or the coward's way of aiming sad faces at Kaze's back, lamenting her unworthiness to herself. She did know, however, that she didn't want to make Kumo even more miserable by letting him feel that he was taking her place.

Just as Kumo was about to go to sleep, there was a distant rumble, and the sensation of dropping. Both he and Kaze snapped into alertness and leaped up, but had to brace themselves against each other and the bulkhead behind them, learning to their displeasure that the dropping wasn't just a sensation.

"Pist," Kumo murmured under his breath. The Ocean Puzzle had shifted once again.

Cid came charging in, hanging on to the guiderail along the hall. "What's going on!"

Knave, sitting at his post at the radar and weapons controls, turned. "Cid! We're in the sky!"

"Again!" The blonde inventor dashed up to the cockpit and took his seat, firing off the engines in an attempt to slow their descent. "Hold on tight, everybody!"

There was a resounding crash as the submarine hit some hard surface, and a jolt and tilt, but the craft stayed where it had fallen.

Kumo, opening his eyes, let out a sharp gasp, starting to shake.

They'd landed on a large, vaguely organ-shaped creation with a motley assortment of mismatched eyes. There were three more of them; each was a well-programmed defense satellite that served the purpose of defending the mammoth structure in the center... a gray-and-black castle held up in midair, a structure of nightmares.

Kumo sank to his knees, still trembling violently, as Knave ordered the soldiers to prepare, then fire the submarine's main cannon. Predictably, the huge missile only worked so well--the defense system annihilated it when it got too close to its target. The Comodeen's weaponry might work against monsters and lower-class enemies, but this defensive force was completely out of the rebel army's league.

"I think we should give the main cannon one more try," Miles was saying, but Cid cut her off.

"Wait. It seems like we're safe for now because these defense satellites can't fire at each other directly. Since they protect the structure in the middle, we won't be able to attack, but while we're safe, we should take some time to figure out a new plan."

Miles, who'd been staring the entire time, nodded. "You're right! You're absolutely right." She turned and fixed Knave with a piercing glare. "Well, don't you think so, Knave?"

The leader of the Comodeen, taken slightly aback, turned to give his opinion. Kumo shook his head and lost the thread of the conversation, unable to believe any of it. What in the world were they planning this time? There had to be some logical explanation... aside from the obvious... but...

Kaze, frowning, shook Kumo's shoulder. "What is it?"

Shaking his head, he looked up into his friend's cerulean eyes. "We have to get out of this place, now. I don't know what the Comodeen hopes to accomplish here... but if we stay here for much longer... everyone will die. Trust me... we must get out of here."

Kaze turned towards the others, then looked at Kumo, an unsure expression on his face.

As he was about to speak...

"KWAIIIII!"

Both of them turned to see that Chobi the chocobo was running around frenetically, flapping his short wings and tossing his head.

"What's the matter, Chobi?" Lisa asked, trying desperately to track the bird's movements.

Yu touched the yellow-tipped penna feather he wore in his hair and then spread his hands wide. "He says he smells Dead Peppers and he can't take it anymore!"

"Dead Peppers...?" Lisa began, chewing a nail.

Ai nodded. "Remember? We saw them in that one big weird mansion... they look like big red peppers. Super spicy..."

"Where could a smell like that be coming from?" Lisa mused to herself, then gasped.

Chobi had activated the Ciel powers of the special collar he was equipped with. Armored plates took shape over his body, extending his wings. With a raucous squawk, he headed straight for the glass panels of the front windows.

"No, Chobi, don't!" Yu began to protest, running in front of his pet.

But even that wouldn't stop the Dead-Pepper-crazed chocobo. Instead, Chobi grabbed Yu in his strong talons and went straight through the glass.

"Chobi, no!" Lisa yelled.

"Oh, Yu!" Ai wailed.

"Heeeeeellllp meeeeee!" Yu cried as Chobi dragged him away.

The chocobo was headed straight for the structure in the center of the defense system, expertly dodging the beams that were shot by the satellites.

Kumo cursed under his breath in the ancient language of his people, then sprang up. "I know this place--I'll go after them! DON'T follow me, it's dangerous here!" He sprinted towards the hole in the glass and leaped out, catching the breeze and diving towards the castle, flipping and twisting to avoid the beams that the satellites shot after him. Touching down, he ran into the entrance hall of the mammoth structure, over to the wall, and to the interface located there. He placed his palm on the scanner and spoke in a terse voice. "I'm back. Deactivate defense system." The mechanism beeped, hissed, and followed his command. Sighing, Kumo ran forward again, only to realize that the path was blocked.

By Oscha.

"Let me through," he said with clenched fists and gritted teeth.

"Why, welcome back, my dear Makenshi," the necromancer cackled, offering a wiggling bow, his boneless body bending unnaturally low. "You have been quite busy, I see."

Kumo growled. "Don't play games with me. Where is he!"

Oscha chortled, dropping the act. "The young man who just 'dropped in' is paying a visit to His Excellency. I have been told to let no one interfere... not even you, I'm afraid."

"If you lay so much as one finger on him...!" Kumo nearly shouted. "If so much as one hair on his head is harmed, all of Gaudium will pay!"

"Let the demon loose," Oscha taunted. "It will do you good, you know. I know what lurks in the depths of your mind, for I saw it not very long ago. You fear to kill because you fear that you will enjoy it... you fear because you already have blood on your hands..."

Kumo's eyes narrowed slightly, but as Sumire's wrath raged through his blood, he caught a flash of Herba's terrified face, conjured out of memory. He shook his head and slowly unclenched his fists, but kept glaring.

"I will shed no blood unless I have a good reason to," he said quietly.

"And your brother? What was your reason for that?"

Kumo hissed in pain, but closed his eyes and answered. "His will was not his own. He had lost the power... that made him Madoushi, and he'd lost his heart and mind beneath your torture. Behind the madness in his eyes, I... saw a flicker of what he had been, begging for me to free him." Opening his eyes, he stared at Oscha, the clarity of compassion in his eyes. "He begged me to die, and I... I killed him because I love him."

Falling silent, he walked straight past the necromancer, knowing that Oscha would not be able to touch him now.

Oscha stared after him as he went, twitching a little in irritation. Kumo, who was usually so susceptible to his lures, had proved completely invulnerable to his probing. A faint glow shone from the swordsman's back as he turned a corner and disappeared from view, trailing warm flecks of light behind him.

This was not good...

---

Chobi was located in the section of the castle that had once been considered Herba's garden, beneath a giant tree whose twisted yellow branches bore huge, twisted spicy fruit known as Dead Peppers. The little chocobo was still running around, but this was because he had already consumed a few of the things and was working on another one.

Kumo sighed, flexed his hands, walked forward, and grabbed Chobi by the collar. "No more of these," he said sternly, slashing the tree itself with his Maken. "They aren't good for you. And besides... you have something to do here." Chobi looked up at him and made a pathetic noise from around the big pepper stuffed in his mouth. "You have to lead me to Yu, and we need to get him out of this place. It isn't safe. ...And you might as well finish that as we go. You'll need all the energy you can get..."

---

Chobi led the way straight into the Chaos chamber, where Yu was standing on the bridge over the huge abyss with the Earl and the two scientists Oscha had always referred to as the patissiers. With a squawk, the chocobo swooped down, grabbed Yu by the arm, and flew off again.

"FLY!" Kumo shouted, just behind him. "NOW!"

Yu was shouting too. "No! I--no! Mom! Dad! Help me!"

Looking over his shoulder, Kumo saw that Earl Tyrant wore a very unpleasant smirk on his face... the kind of self-satisfied look he'd always worn whenever the two of them were alone and he was going to be exceptionally rough. It made his back bristle with jarred nerves, and he murmured to Chobi to hurry up.

As the two of them broke away, Kumo braked hard in midair as he realized that the defense satellite that bore the submarine was the only one remaining, and was moving steadily towards the castle.

"You have gotta be joking," he murmured to himself. Noting that Chobi had made it inside, he nodded, then called out to them. "STOP WHERE YOU ARE!"

"Get on," Cid's voice replied, magnified by some sort of loudspeaker. "We've got to storm this big ugly thing while we're here!"

"NO!" Kumo shouted back, alarmed. "IF YOU COME IN HERE, YOU'LL DIE! JUST STAY WHERE YOU ARE... AND TRUST ME."

With that, he released his Maken and pulled a bottle of Mist from his belt.

"All things ride on my beautiful song..."--he tossed the bottle, letting his voice rise from whisper to shout--"and be off!" As the dragon erupted from the glass, he let out a loud cry. "Nocturne of the White Heat!"

The dragon he'd summoned coiled tightly around the satellite, plunging its swordlike muzzle into the depths of the creation. The resulting explosion destroyed both satellite and dragon, sending the submarine flying. Cid or someone else fired a few jets, and there was a time-space distortion which carried Jane and its crew out of the Ocean Puzzle cube.

Sighing, Kumo put his sword away. The difficult stage of his plan was almost over...

---

Pist, the shark-lord of the ocean and one of the two remaining Deathlords, stood in the inner sanctum of his castle, with the mechanism that controlled the Ocean Puzzle before him. "These guys are becoming quite a pain," he said lightly. "I think I'll let them wander in the Ocean Puzzle for eternity! Oh, Ocean Puzzle, move again if you will... with the exponential growth of Chaos, it appears that something big is going to happen at any moment!"

Whirling, the blue shark-man pulled out his water pistol and shot three blasts. Kumo, who'd been hidden in the shadows, sliced all of them in half.

"I've been waiting for you, Makenshi!" Pist crowed.

Kumo, however, decided to skip the pleasantries. He lunged forward in a graceful leap, cleaving Pist's body in two and touching down delicately a few feet away. Already knowing what would happen, he looked over his shoulder and watched as the two halves of the body liquified and fused together, letting Pist reform. "Ah... you weren't serious when we last fought, were you? But you see... I've already forgotten all about death and dying! Imagine, trying to kill someone like me, who's made of liquid! I'll stay the same no matter how many times you slice me!"

Kumo gave Pist a get-on-with-it look and shifted his grip on his sword hilt.

"I'm afraid, however, that you're already too late. I've recovered every piece of Omega, and they're already being sent to His Excellency!"

Unable to restrain himself, the swordsman let out a soft gasp.

"Surprised? I saw through that little plan of yours long ago! All the pieces of Omega are on their way, along with enough Flying Water to contain them... for as found during our little escapade with Clear, Flying Water and Omega's power repel each other, and when combined, their different functions will neutralize each other, rendering Omega completely helpless! So no matter what you try to do, it's already too late! Any last words?"

Kumo tried to bite his tongue, but for the first time in years, he just couldn't help himself. "Yeah, three things. One, the sun does not shine out of your butt, no matter how much you think it does. Two, for the few months I have been stuck with you, you have been an extremely annoying and equally extremely temporary pain in the ass, and I reeeeally hate you. And thirdly..." He pulled a Mist bottle from his belt and uncapped it, letting the vapor trail out. "You really have always talked too much, ya know?"

Pist twitched, looking as though he couldn't believe that shy, gentle, reticent Makenshi had actually just said all that. After a moment, though, he recovered himself. "Oooh, what's that? An empty bottle, oooh. Looks like you've finally gone mad!"

Kumo ignored him and let out a soft breath of Mist, feeling a terrible power begin to grow behind his eyes, flowing through him and towards the arrogant little sonofa...ahem that was standing obstinately before him.

As trails of Pist's essence began to gravitate towards the bottle, he started to protest. "Ey... ey! Whaddaya doin'? Ah... Uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"

Within instants, Pist's entire being had become Mist. Kumo recapped the bottle and ignored the indignant squeaking that seemed to come from it, smiling. He felt better than he had for a long time.

"Play it, Pist!" He tossed the bottle into the air. "The Rhapsody of Innocence!"

A blue-green dragon erupted from the shattered glass and careened straight for the Ocean Puzzle's controls, obliterating the entire mechanism. Kumo's smile grew. He knew that he'd just completely ruined Pist's plans, including those of the incomplete Omega shipments. Now it would be a whole lot harder for Chaos to reassemble the creature of helpless destruction.

And besides...

"That felt so good," he said serenely as he headed back to Gaudium.

---

"Hey..."

Crux looked up from where she'd been sitting, shocked at hearing Kumo's familiar voice. She'd been deep in thought on his favorite precipice of the castle's exterior, and he was the last one she'd expected to see.

"I came for you," he told her gently, his sweet smile both on his face and in his voice. "Do you want to come with me? You'll never have to see this place again... we're getting out of here."

With a squeak, she leaped into his arms, hugging him tightly. "Kukuriyu!"

"I'm glad," he told her, and stood. But as he began to walk away, a presence behind him made him whirl defensively.

"Now, you didn't think that we would actually let you get away with all this, did youuu?"

Oscha.

Kumo backed up a step, starting to feel uncertain. He was pretty sure that he would be able to get away from Oscha now, but that might mean leaving Crux behind... and he could never do that, not when it would mean certain death for her. But if he stayed... he shuddered at the thought.

Just as Oscha began to move forward...

There was a flash of red, and a ball of pure crimson flame appeared in the air.

Kumo blinked, his eyes widening. Was it really...?

A faint form began to flicker around the ball of fire, and as its eyes caught his, he felt time crumble around him.

"Kumo..." He sensed warm arms fold around him, picked up the scent of firespice, and nearly fainted out of shock. "Thank the fates you're all right."

"Niisama... Kiri-niisama!" Kumo stared up into his brother's loving crimson eyes, feeling the world spin around him. "How... how is this...?"

"We're inside your mind for now," Kiri explained, kissing Kumo on the cheek. "On the outside, I'm only a spirit with no body, but I have the strength to hold that bastard off while you escape. For now... we have a little time to talk to each other, and I want to make use of it... to tell you just how sorry I am. Sorry for everything that happened before..."

"It wasn't your fault," Kumo replied, hugging his brother tightly.

"I know, but I still feel partially responsible," Kiri admitted, sighing. "And after everything that's happened... I'm just sorry I haven't been here to protect you like I should be. You've had to go through a lot of horrible things, and you've survived all of it. You are so strong, and I... I am so proud of you." He gave his brother a sad smile. "Look at you. My baby brother is almost all grown up."

"I'm sorry," Kumo said softly. "I... I broke our pact..."

"Ohh..." Kiri hugged him tightly. "Kumo-chan, that wasn't your fault! That's these stupid people, who think the best use for one's manhood is to stick it where it doesn't have permission to go. Like this blowhard here. The first thing I'm gonna do once you're safely away is burn his off." The corner of Kumo's mouth twitched, and he barely stifled a laugh as he imagined it. "And that's just for starters. This guy is going to rue the day he even fantasized about messing with you."

"That's not what I meant," Kumo began. "Kaze--"

"Kumo, look at me," Kiri said quietly. "You can't spend the rest of your life tied to me. I will never have the chance to come back to you after this, to love you, to hold you, to kiss you, or... anything else. I'm already gone. You shouldn't live waiting forever at a door that isn't going to open. Part of you knows this. You love me, and you will always love me... but you love Kaze too. I don't know him personally, but from what I've seen, he's an okay guy, just a little confused. He deserves a chance with you. You deserve a chance with him." He traced the rune beorc, for new beginnings, on Kumo's forehead. "I hereby release you from our vows of chastity."

"But--" Kumo squeaked.

"No buts," Kiri interrupted. He smiled. "Baby, can't you see that I'm doing this because I love you? You need to live. Don't waste the rest of your life mourning for me. And none of this 'it just isn't done' stuff. We do what isn't done all the time. Go. Be with Kaze. You need him now."

"But I still..." Kumo looked up at his brother with pleading eyes. "I still love you... and you're... I can't just forget about you..."

"You won't," Kiri said gently, touching Kumo's chest. "As long as your heart is still beating, I will still be alive in you. I will experience all you do, and see what it's like to live and to love and to dream for a future. If you can't live for yourself, remember this, and live for me." His smile faded, and sorrow came into his eyes. "You've been through so much pain in sixteen years. I know, because... this pain that you've been running from... I have felt it too." Kumo stared, his eyes going wide with shock and horror. Kiri grimaced. "He couldn't force me to hurt you, and so he forced my mind from me with the worst he had. He broke me, heart and spirit, by what he did... but he couldn't break you. Live, my little love. Live and remember, and look to the future."

"Kiri..." Kumo held his brother tightly. "I... I'm sorry you had to go through that."

"Yeah, well, I'm sorrier," Kiri said simply, smiling crookedly as he hugged Kumo back. "I'm three years older than you. You're still young... in my eyes, you really are still my baby brother. He is a sick, sick freak if he got off on hurting someone sweet and innocent like you." He leaned in and kissed Kumo, tasting the soft sweetness that had always been his brother's world. Kumo deepened the embrace and the kiss, but both of them stopped just shy of letting it escalate into something else. It was Kiri who broke their contact, stepping back. "Now, I want you to tell Kaze that if he ever, ever tries to hurt you or make you do something you don't want to, I am gonna have his ass on a platter and his charbroiled manhood in the fireplace." Kumo smiled, and Kiri gave his brother a cheeky grin. "Make absolutely sure you tell him."

"I will."

Kiri rested his hand on his brother's chest again. "I love you." He smiled. "And one last thing..." He let his hand slide down Kumo's body until it rested between his legs. Kumo tensed, letting out a soft hiss of breath. Kiri's grip was gentle, but all the same... to have his love's hand there was... erotic. "The next time someone touches you here... will be our decision." He leaned forward and kissed Kumo one last time on the lips, then stepped back, separating the two of them. "Now... run."

And Kumo flickered back into reality as the flame of Kiri's soul cast his astral projection. With one last look at his brother, he breathed out a steady stream of Mist, tightened his grip on Crux, and slipped through the series of dimensional barriers that made up Wonderland.

---

"Look," Lisa whispered faintly as an orb of Mist began to form just above the nose of the submarine. As everyone stared (except for Ai, Yu, and Chobi, who were in the mess hall), the soft whiteness dissipated, revealing an exhausted-looking Kumo, who was holding Crux tightly in his arms.

"He's alive!" The Comodeen rushed to open the hatch for him, pulling him inside, ushering him to the main room.

"Barely," Kumo joked weakly. "I think I need to sit down." His entire body was trembling just slightly, just enough to worry Lisa. One of the footsoldiers dragged in a chair, which Kumo immediately collapsed into. "The good news is, the Ocean Puzzle has been destroyed, and you've got one less Deathlord to worry about." There were cries of amazement, but Kumo held up one hand to quiet them. "The bad news is that my cover is officially blown."

"What do you mean?" Knave asked.

"As all of you know... I lost my world to Chaos years ago, and everyone I loved died with it," Kumo said grimly. "I heard some things, and... all this time, I've been staying with the Earl and his Deathlords to try to figure out what in the world is going on here. I had to pretend to go along with their schemes, no matter what it meant for me... as you well know. They're the ones responsible, all right... the Earl is the physical embodiment of Chaos itself. Chaos grows stronger by absorbing negative emotions and feeding off the worlds that are attacked and destroyed by the Deathlords. Originally, I'd planned to kill Chaos even if it meant my own death, but... it's just too powerful. I can't do it alone."

"Then let's fight against it together," Cid said happily.

Kumo shook his head, pain in his eyes. "No... even all of our power combined would be nowhere near enough. He's been feeding off all of us for too long." He turned towards Kaze. "You were... from the beginning, you were the only one with a chance. But the Magun is... and anyway, every time either of us summons, Chaos turns the energy released into its own power. All we can do now is run and hope." Closing his eyes, he bowed his head. "Maybe there's some way to defeat Chaos that I have overlooked, but it's a slim chance. We can't stay in the same place... once you recover what you need to, you should get out of here. Get as far away as you possibly can. I've seen horrible things happen to others just like you... I don't want those tragedies repeated."

Lisa put her hand on Kumo's shoulder. "At any rate, you should rest. That last challenge was hard on you, too... just sleep. And... who's this?"

Kumo smiled. "Her name is Crux. She was... created by the Deathlord Oscha to spy on you, but... she's a friend of mine. I couldn't just leave her there... they'd kill her to spite me."

"We'll take care of her too," Lisa said softly, ruffling Kumo's hair. "Just go to your room and get some sleep."

---

Deep in the night, Kumo rose from his curtained-off section of the infirmary and steeled himself, slipping out and down the hall towards Kaze's room.

The gunner, sitting on his bed and looking out the porthole window, still had a small light on, and turned with some surprise when Kumo opened the door.

"Hey," the swordsman whispered, suddenly self-conscious. He closed the door behind him and bolted it, coming to sit beside Kaze. Although he tried to remain outwardly calm, wave after wave of panic was crashing through his body. He'd been relatively sure of himself when he'd gotten up, but now the semblance of confidence was shredding, turning him into a nervous wreck. Could he really do this?

"Are you alright?" Kaze asked softly.

Kumo smiled wryly. "Funny thing is, I am. I kill my brother and I start contemplating suicide. I kill Herba and I nearly go insane. I kill Pist..." He shrugged. "Bizarre as it is... I just feel wholly, incredibly, soul-deeply cleansed."

Kaze made some odd noise between a snort and a cough, biting his lip to keep from smiling (though he was obviously failing).

"I haven't seen you do that for a while," Kumo said softly, smiling sadly.

They were silent for some time.

Kumo clenched and unclenched his hands in order to keep from chewing his nails. This is it. I am going to count to three, and then I am going to pop the subject. ...Three.

Not allowing himself to continue the mental debate, he leaned over and gently, shyly kissed Kaze on the lips. Pulling back, he spoke, feeling his voice start to gel. "I... I love you."

Kaze kissed him back. "I love you too."

Kumo felt almost dizzy with relief. There. They'd actually said it. "Kaze... I've been... released from my pact with my brother." The gunner's left eyebrow formed a perfect brown arch. "If you want to... I, we... can make our own pact. If... if you want to..."

"Yes." Once again, Kumo felt himself melt in gratitude. "Now...?"

Eyes shining, Kumo nodded, unsheathing his sword, which he'd brought even though he'd left his Mist belt back on his bedside table. "All we need to do is slit our palms and let our blood mix." The pact of the body--the hardest of all to break and the one least-used. He and Kiri had decided to go through a ceremony and then reinforce it with the other two pacts, but with Kaze he could only truly utilize this one. Carefully, he swiped the palm of his right hand across the blade of the Maken. A cut opened quickly and cleanly, dripping bright blood. Kaze obligingly took the glove off his left hand and held it out, allowing Kumo to do the same to him. Once that was done, Kumo matched up their wounds and clasped Kaze's hand tightly. The cut seared, throbbed, and went dead.

"That's it?"

Kumo nodded. "That's it." He released Kaze's hand, suddenly shy again. "We're bound by blood." Looking at his palm, he saw that the cut had healed, leaving only a white, old-looking scar. He knew without looking that Kaze bore a similar one.

Kaze put an arm around his shoulders, pulling him close. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" Kumo wanted to know.

"Being an ass."

He smiled. "You couldn't remember, silly. It wasn't your fault."

Kaze leaned down to kiss his cheek, but Kumo turned up and caught it on his lips. His heart was hammering and his rational mind screaming at him, but he knew. Now. It had to be now. Though Kaze tried to pull back, surprised, Kumo caught him by the upper arms and kept him there. The kiss deepened, and Kaze's protective arm around the swordsman's shoulders slipped to just a hand on Kumo's back for support.

Warmth. Safety. Once, Kumo had wondered if he'd ever feel those things again. But now, the world was lit by the soft flicker of a lamp, and they were hidden miles and miles beneath the water's surface, and he loved the one who was holding him closely. He did feel safe and warm. Here, on the craft belonging to his friends and allies. Playing tongues with Kaze.

Kaze finally managed to pull a few inches away. "You're ready?"

Kumo nodded. "Yes."

Kaze looked at him with some concern. "You're sure?"

Kumo nodded again. "Yes."

They'd already managed to get somewhat diagonal, and somehow Kaze's cloak and Kumo's blouse had been lost. Now, while Kumo fumbled with Kaze's shirt and vest, the gunner was busy toying with the hem of Kumo's thin cloth pants. He got those and the thin choker made of ribbon off just as they went horizontal; Kumo had finished with Kaze's clothes and was busy taking off his steel collar and undoing his long horsetail.

Kaze kissed the side of Kumo's throat, feeling the swordsman's pulse throbbing through his lips. "I love you, Shiroi-chan."

Another wave of panic rose in Kumo's heart. "Kaze... Kaze...?"

With an effort, Kaze pulled back and looked at him questioningly; they were naked and tangled along the bed, Kumo on his back with his legs spread and facing up, Kaze carefully fitted over him looking down. Just a little more maneuvering, and... Kaze blocked the hentai thoughts from his mind, speaking. "What?"

"Kaze, I'm scared."

Kumo's eyes were huge and frightened, filled with the panic raging through his blood. Very suddenly, Kaze remembered that Kumo was just sixteen years old... and that even at such a tender age, he'd been brutally raped over and over. His previous experiences with sex had all been painful and terrifying; it was a wonder he'd even consented to this at all.

"What are you afraid of?" Kaze asked softly.

"I-I... I just don't want it to hurt..."

Kissing him gently on the cheek, Kaze replied, "I could never hurt you." He looked down at Kumo with love in his eyes. "If you start to feel pain, tell me, and I'll stop."

Kumo closed his eyes and nodded. When he opened them again, the look on his face told Kaze that he'd resolved himself. "I trust you," he whispered.

They kissed, and shifted a little, and kissed again. When they were ready, they knew.

The next time someone touches you here... will be our decision.

Kumo cried out as a brief flash of red flickered through his body, bringing pain in its wake. A moment later, Kaze shuddered; he felt it, too. But just as quickly, the hurting ended. As he felt Kaze's gentle movements within him, Kumo let out a low moan and arched his back inwards. This was actually...

He gasped as ecstasy suddenly raged through his blood, crying out, the rhythm of his breathing starting to roughen. "Kaze...!" It was as though his soul had been torn out of his body, to merge with that of the one he loved. "Kaze... nnh..."

He had never known that it could make him feel so... free.

With the second wave of pleasure, he lost his words.

Kaze, overcome, could only whisper his name over and over again, in rhythm with their movement, their shallow breathing. Kumo, unable to speak, let his tiny cries peak and crest into their own soft and urgent song. The tears that came to his eyes fell openly--tears of pure joy.

He let his body rise as Kaze came down hard, letting his hips take the impact, seeking Kaze's lips and letting his hands find a grip on his love's shoulders. All his life, he'd waited for this. All his life... and now was his time. The sheer happiness, the love in Kaze's eyes, their mingled sweat and the soaring heat of their bodies... never had he felt this needed or this needful. Never had he felt love like this.

Thank you, Kiri. Thank you for giving me the chance to feel this... for both of us.

---

Kiri smiled hollowly as he felt his brother's ecstasy wash over him.

"So this is what it feels like... to be loved..."

He watched in his mind with a smile and gentle sorrow as his little brother Kumo flew away from him to a place where he had never been and now could never go.

---

Their moment of climax came in one burst of straining, crying, clinging desperately, and kissing voraciously, then faded, and they parted.

Kaze fell exhausted at Kumo's side, shifting to his back and closing his eyes. That had taken more out of him than he cared to admit, but it had been worth every ounce of energy he'd given.

Kumo just lay still, waiting for his ragged panting to return to smooth breathing, letting his steaming body cool. Never before had he felt so alive. He turned to Kaze and smiled weakly, clasping the gunner's hand.

"Thank you."

Kaze smiled back and went to sleep.

The room was a complete wreck, of course. Their clothes were strewn all over the place, half the bedsheets had managed to come undone, and the window's surface was covered in thick white fog. Maybe if he was more awake, Kumo would've been embarrassed by that. But now... he was just waaay too tired to worry. He'd fix it some other time... like in the morning...

And in that instant, he was off and away, chasing after Kaze and his brother in their dreams.

(TBC)