Artemis Fowl: The Missing Childhood

Chp.1 Birthday

Author's Note: This story is based after the third book and 'Arts' is 16. Artemis is having puberty late and mistakes it for his missing childhood. This 'missing childhood' and get him in loads of trouble but save him as well. Have fun reading and please comment.

Artemis has turned 16 today. Juliet got him a few movies like: Harry Potter 5 and Baby Geniuses 3. His parents got him a brand new Fiat and Butler got him some relaxation candles for his 'Chi', for somehow he knew Artemis would have a lot of stress. He finally took in a lot of air and muttered in a happy but wishing voice "Thanks for the presents."

His mother, Angeline Fowl has been very worried that her boy was missing something. Something that only a child would get. Maybe it was love when his father was lost at sea. Maybe he needed a normal life without being so smart. She was not sure but she wished she knew what it was. She finally caught her breath like her son and said, "Why are you so sad Arty?"

He was annoyed that his mother called him Arty. Couldn't he be called Artemis the Second or call his father Arty? He had no choice on what his mother speaks so he just said the truth. He couldn't hold it in anymore. "Nothing Mother. I just wish. Wish that my knowledge and al that came with it came a bit later."

He felt really stupid. That was worse when he said, "I don't like lollypops." to some girl. All he remembered is nut-brown coloured skin, red hair and a pair of beautiful eyes. He wasn't so sure about the rest. He forced himself to hug his mother and father and went to his room. He didn't like parties much. He thought picking cow crap would be better then parties. Instead of parties he liked conferences and meetings. Both the same but meetings are general to him.

Artemis entered his room and sat in his black leather recliner. He felt stressed. Good thing Butler always though a step ahead when it came to his master. He couldn't say master. No. Friend. Butler and Juliet are his only friends. They were bodyguards but he could talk freely with them. He wished he had more. He sighed and stood up. He put in the Harry Potter 5 DVD in his Computer played in on his LCD projector and heard it through his THX sound system. "The best was THX. They made 5.1, DTS and a few others but THX was still the best."

It puzzled him. How could such old technology, still be the best? He sat in his recliner again and watched the movie for half an hour. After half an hour he fell asleep. He dreamed .It looked like his mind was fighting off some brainwash. He sees flashes of a golden book, a big monster coming through his house, some cube that got stolen and some other flashes from his past. The people weren't clear. It was going so fast. But the figure that had red hair, nut-brown skin and pretty eyes was the sharpest. He wondered why. He woke up when Sirius died from Voldemort. "Must be a bad omen." He thought. He saw how old his Macs were. He thought about getting some money and selling them to buy new Windows GESE computers. He ran up to a computer and looked at his stocks. "NO! TSX in Canada went down 50!D'Arvit! That is very bad I can't sell a thing! Only buy! I don't want buy! Sell! Sell! Sell!"

He then realized he cursed in some unknown language. He then heard footsteps and the door swing open. He could hear many tears. It came from a girl. Juliet? No. She wouldn't cry. Just keep it in for strength and have a nightmare. It was his mother. She was sobbing and angry.

"How can you be so selfish? How could you! " Artemis turned around and saw his mother in vain. He had an invisible lump in his throat plus his heart was sinking down his body of shame. But what shame?

"All you think about is money. Money this and money that! You haven't even got any friends to play with. All you do is stay indoors and stare at those computers!"

Artemis was about to cry but he tried to be strong. He won't cry. That wouldn't be him. He just looked at the movie on the wall. His mother was about to leave but she yelled one more thing. No. She didn't yell. She softly said with a tone of anger "I thought I raised you better…"

She left and slammed the door. He knew why his mother was so sad. He turned on Baby Geniuses 3 and the lump and sinking went away. He knew that his mother wanted everything for him. For him to be happy, have friends, grow up smart and brave and to not go to drugs and be a part of the mafia. He made things worse by saying he wished that his intelligence and what came with it came later. She probably felt sad because of whom she married and how the genes formed. She felt as if it's her fault. Juliet came in through the door. "Your mother is crying like how a hyena laughs. Not pretty."

She shut the door and looked at Artemis. She almost dropped the plate of sandwiches she had mad for him. Made for him. Why would she do that? She was growing fond of him like a brother you loved and cared for. She then saw Artemis turn around.

"Leave them on the table…"

He fell from his chair and Juliet slammed the sandwiches on the table and went to help him up. They were shocked to see a man pop up from the ground. Since Artemis had his room on the third floor but had a hill underneath the ground so he can sneak out sometimes the dwarf could come easily.

"Hello Arts. Happy Birthday!" The dwarf said. He smiled but closed his mouth since Juliet shook her head no. His teeth were covered with clay and mud and roots. Very unpleasant. This scene reminded Artemis of when Hagrid gave Harry a cake for his birthday. Except no cake. Artemis was having his dream except the people were clear now. Everything was. Fairies, dwarfs, elves, centaurs and magic. He gasped lots of breath and he saw Mulch getting beat up by Juliet.

"Stop Juliet!" he said with a voice that scared Juliet and Mulch. It was like that face he can give. Terrifying. Mulch spit some blood into the hole he made and it formed together making it looked like nothing happened. Well it would if the carpet was still there. Mulch was coughing up carpet and sat down. He heard Artemis say

"Mulch. Mulch Diggums I presume?"

"Yes. That's me."

The dwarf replied. Artemis imaged what he could do with the C-Cube now. He was 50 I.Q points smarter and could maybe make the C-Cube do whatever he wanted. Convert Gnomish to English and back again. Make chutes and destroy them. The possibilities were wondrous but that would be only if he had the C-Cube. Then he heard Mulch talk happily.

"I got a present for ya. Thought you might need it."

Mulch took a cube out of his pocket and gave it to Artemis. Artemis was so happy. To happy to notice that Juliet just remembered about elves and all that

"How did you get this?" Artemis blurted out. He tried to not ask about presents but he broke his promise he made to his grandfathers grave. Mulch had a grin on his face and said,

"When I was at Howlers Peak Opal Koboi got thrown into his cell. She was dirty and sat on a bed. I was gazing into her. She was so pretty. So…well never mind. She said she could clean my record if I got her out of here. I asked if I could kiss her and she said yes. We kissed and she fainted. I did that on purpose. Nobody should se my hidden tunnel I made. It might fall into some goblins and they would thank me. I want to beat them up. Not be friends… Anyways we got out and took a wrong turn and we ended up in Foaly's lab. She hacked into it and a screen from Interpol popped up. It had your files and we remembered everything. It said it was your birthday. I wondered of a present to give and Opal found the C-Cube. It was only the files but she managed to get a blank cube Foaly was to use on his Chute Creator and put the files in there. We have to go to Haven though. Something you might wanna see."

Mulch motioned them to follow him and they went through a tunnel. They stopped as Artemis had an idea.

"We could use my C-Cube. It was in a cube Foaly was going to use for his CC so it must have chute creating capabilities."

Artemis turned on the cube and it dimmed blue. A virtual screen and keyboard appeared. He chose teleport because if they used a chute they could get traced. They teleported behind Police Plaza. They went through a crack in the wall. It wasn't a crack but a hole but it looked like a crack from a side view. They were in the storage room for a bakery, Mulch turned around and some soil and clay came out. He used it for patching the door and Juliet just used honey and icing plus water and flour. The door had a shiny light grey glue around it. Juliet tried to open the door but she couldn't. Not even Butler could if he tried. They sat on some empty barrels and Mulch used some more 'recycle' to patch up the 'crack. It was dark but Artemis' C-Cube was quietly humming and gave a blue light. Mulch broke the 3 minutes of silence.

"Holly, Foaly and Julius and me know something. Here is what we know. You have a fairy for a cousin."

Artemis had a shocked look. His blue eyes were almost the same shade as the blue light and it looked as if his eyes went backwards.

"They will soon teleport here…" Mulch stopped because a creek of light appeared. Holly merged out of it.

"A mini portal. It looks as a creak of light so nobody will notice unless it's pitch black and already has a creek of light. Smart. Foaly's invention I presume?"

Holly smirked and said "No. It's actually Opal's. Those two were having a race and Opal won. So Foaly knocked here out and put on an iris cam that would explode if someone tried to take it off. She got furious and used a micro screwdriver to take it off. It almost exploded in her face but she threw it and it exploded it Foaly's instead. They were so mad!"

Holly laughed for a few seconds and sighed. "Anyways. Mulch must have already told you about your 'cousin'. You have to come to my place though. We got no more Camouflage foil with us."

Artemis looked at Holly. Yes. That was here. Nut-brown skin, red hair and pretty eyes. She looked as if she grew a bit. She also looked a bit skinnier. Yes that was her.

"Artemis. What is that?" Holly said. She pointed at the C-Cube.

"Oh. My C-Cube. Mulch gave it…" Artemis stooped. Mulch hid in barrel. Holly was mad. Her face was like Root's when angry. She yelled "That's giving you and extra 200 years on your jail sentence!"

Mulch whined. Artemis put his cube underneath the mini portal. He saw where they were going to go. Holly's flat.

"O.K Holly. Lets go to your flat now. Root and beat on him later." Holly turned to Artemis, blinked and they all went through the portal. Artemis hid his C-Cube and they appeared in Holly's living room. He saw Foaly and Root. Root as always was chewing a fungus cigar and Foaly was trying to make a pair of wings that would beat Opal's Double Dex. He also saw a fairy with natural wings leaning on a wall. He had brown hair and brown eyes. His wings weren't those girly wings you see on T.V shows. They were like dragon wings. They had a small claw at the tip. It had a strong frame and the rest had a few holes in it. The wings were a light black and a bit transparent. He was wearing a black t-shirt and blue jeans. The fairy answered,

"So the whole gang is here now?"

His voice was calm but could scare you. His face made it obvious he was his cousin. It could terrify somebody just like Artemis' face could. Artemis then turned to Holly. It was so dark he didn't even notice how she looked except for the outline of her body and her face. He was wearing blue jeans as well and an orange tank top. Not her LEP uniform like he always saw her. Artemis just had to blurt out "Some birthday!"