After hours of wandering through an arid valley, Wario and Waluigi had finally made it to Po-Go's cave, which had a sign saying "Po-go's cave, duh." at the front.
"I don't think this is a good idea, Wario." said a worried Waluigi. "What if we get eaten by that monster?"
"Stop complaining, you idiot! Where are your guts, huh? I mean, come on! Are you an intrepid money-seeking adventurer in a danger-filled mission to find a great and legendary treasure or a big chicken?" asked Wario.
"Uhh, I'll take the second choice." replied Waluigi.
"(sigh) Never mind. Let's just go in the stupid cave and get it overwith." said Wario.
The two brothers went inside the cave and they soon came across a lava pit.
"How are we going to cross this pit?" asked Waluigi.
"By jumping on those rocks! What else is there?" replied Wario.
They jumped on the rocks that were floating on the lava until they reached the other side.
"Boy, that was pathetic. I expected Po-Go to have better obstacles than this!" complained Wario.
"It doesn't really matter now since I'll get my little darling princess soon." boasted Waluigi.
"YOUR princess? You mean MINE!" retorted Wario.
"So what? I heard about her first!" said Waluigi.
"Uhh, no you didn't. We both heard about her, mind you!" replied Wario.
"Whatever. I'm better than you anyway." said Waluigi.
"And why is that?" asked Wario.
"Because, er...I'm bigger than you!" replied Waluigi.
"Yeah, right! You can hardly move around with those lanky legs of yours. I'M the one who's better than you; I'm stronger, faster and more handsome." said Wario.
"Not to mention fat and stupid." retorted Waluigi.
"Hey, I'll have YOU know that I got a big brain!" replied Wario.
"Yeah, a big brain full of lard." retorted Waluigi again.
"What? Why you little...!" said an angry Wario.
Wario jumped towards Waluigi as they both got into yet another dustball of fighting. As they were busy beating each other up, the Wario brothers started rolling down a tunnel. They bounced off stalagmites, went down patched-up holes and went flying over a lava pit by rolling down a slope. They eventually went crashing down at the bottom. It seemed that the two brothers landed in a passage leading to a red steel door...
"Where the heck are we?" asked Wario as he got up on his feet.
"I think we're in front of the door leading to Po-Go's chamber." replied Walugi.
"Really? What was your first clue?" said Wario, sarcastically.
Wario and Waluigi pushed the door and went inside a room with a bridge over a lava pit in the middle.
"Good day to you, infidels!" said a voice.
"Yes, good day to you!" said a second voice.
"Who's there?" asked Wario.
A creature stepped out of the shadows; it was a muscled ogre...with two heads!
"Greetings. My name is Po..." said the first head.
"And my name is Go." said the second head.
"Yikes! This is different!" exclaimed Wario.
"I'll say." replied Waluigi.
"You have penetrated in our lair and for that, you shall suffer!" said Po.
"Actually, I was thinking that we should torture them first, THEN we make them suffer." suggested Go.
"Oh, not this again! I told you already; suffering and torture are the same darn thing!" replied Po.
"So what? You couldn't even tell the difference between a banana and a mango!" retorted Go.
"At least I don't go around babbling about all sorts of topics that people don't care about!" complained Po.
"Oh, well EXCUUUSE ME! I may be snotty, but at least I don't go around belching in every room I go in!" replied Go.
"I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT MY BREATH IS MINTY FRESH!" shouted Po.
While Po and Go were arguing, Wario scratched his head, puzzled by the whole situation.
"THAT'S the scary creature that's been terrorizing the whole village? I don't see what the big deal is..." commented Wario.
"Uh, Wario? I think we should go cross the bridge while they're busy arguing." suggested Waluigi.
"Good thinking, bro!" said Wario.
Wario and Waluigi quickly ran across the bridge in an attempt to escape from Po-Go.
"You suck at torturing prisoners!" said Po.
"Oh sure. As if YOUR method was more delicate and...(sees Wario and Waluigi crossing the bridge) What the...? They're escaping!" said Go.
"Darn you! Can't you pay more attention to our surroundings?" replied Po.
Po-Go jumped and landed in front of the Wario brothers before they could reach the end of the bridge.
"Hold it! You're not going anywhere!" said Po.
"Waluigi, you get to the other side of that bridge while I deal with these two clowns." said Wario to Waluigi.
"You got it!" replied Waluigi.
Waluigi quickly ran underneath Po-Go and reached the other side of the bridge.
"Now it's you and me, double-face!" said Wario to Po-Go.
"Hey! Leave our mother out of this!" replied Go.
Wario dodged some punches that Po-Go was trying to beat him with.
"Hold still, fatso! We can't reach you with our punches!" said Po.
Wario headbutted Po-Go on their stomach, making them clutch it with pain.
"(groan) I knew I shouldn't have eaten burritos for breakfast!" complained Po.
Wario ran underneath Po-Go and went to the other side of the bridge to go rejoin Waluigi.
"You cannot escape from us forever!" said Po.
"I don't have to." replied Wario.
"Why not?" asked Po.
"Because I'll cut off the bridge's rope with this axe that you put at the end of the bridge." replied Wario again.
Sure enough, Wario was standing next to an axe that was put at the end of the bridge.
"I TOLD you not to put that axe there." said Go to Po.
"What? I was just imitating Lord Bowser's decoration. I think it looks good." replied Po.
Wario took the axe and cut off the rope with it, making Po-Go fall down the lava pit.
"This is all your fault! If you didn't babble for no reason, we'd be victorious!" said Po.
"Oh, just shut up and fall, you nincompoop!" replied Go.
Po-Go screamed as they were dunked in the lava, basically burning them, toasting them, melting them, hurting them...Well, you get the idea.
"Glad that's over." said Wario with a sigh of relief.
"Time to go save that princess!" said Waluigi, triumphantly.
"Princess? I almost forgot about her!" said Wario in a panicky tone.
Wario pushed Waluigi aside as he ran towards a passageway
"Out of my way, skinny!" said Wario while he was doing this.
Waluigi lost his balance and fell on the ground.
"Hey, don't leave me here!" complained Waluigi as he tried to get up on his feet.
End of chapter.