Second Chances

Chapter 7

Logan spent a month traveling from New York to Canada to Japan. He did this every spring. He visited the graves of Silver Fox in Canada and Mariko in Japan. This time was different. This time, he went to say goodbye to them. He was happy with Jubilee and he felt that they would be happy that he had finally found peace.

In the course of his duties with Alpha Flight and the X-Men, he had left both women for long periods of time. He never before felt the crushing loneliness he felt now being far from the woman he loved. Every mile was like a dagger in his heart. He wanted to go home and never leave again.

He knew that was impossible. He had responsibilities to many people that couldn't be ignored, not the least of which was to Amiko, his adopted daughter. He wondered if she would be willing to leave Japan and come to live with Jubilee and him in America. Well, the question wasn't was Amiko willing to come, but was Yukio willing to let her go? He loved Amiko but he couldn't claim to be anything more than a protector and pocketbook to her. He had left her with Yukio many years ago and the former assassin loved the girl as if she were her own daughter.

He discussed it with Jubilee late one night during a long and hot phone call that started as phone sex. She was very willing to take over raising Amiko but felt that he shouldn't separate her from the only mother she'd ever known. In the end, he asked Yukio first. She had quickly said that it would be a good thing if Amiko went to live with him but Logan could smell the lie and the grief from the lithe assassin. He spent a week with his daughter but left her with Yukio promising to bring Jubilee on his next visit.

Yukio questioned his decision to leave Amiko in Japan and his answer was "She belongs with her mother". He kissed them all goodbye and flew home to the woman who held his heart.

He found her in their room folding laundry. He snaked his arms around her waist and started kissing her neck.

"You're going to have to hurry," she whispered. "My husband will be home any minute."

"Funny," he commented. "Now turn around and give me a proper welcome home."

She turned and jumped into his arms, wrapping her legs around his waist. "Welcome home, lover," she said, her voice smoky with desire.

Later, as she lay naked and satiated in his arms, she asked him about his conversation with Yukio.

"I love Amiko to death," he told her, "but Yukio is her mom. I can't take her away. It would kill Yukio."

Jubilee felt a stab of disappointment in her chest. She rolled over and climbed onto his chest. "Logan," she asked, "do you want children?"

"From you?" he asked. "God, yes. Every time we make love I hope this time, I'll get ya pregnant. I know it ain't possible as long as yer takin' the pill but I can't help but hope."

"I want kids too," she said laying her head on his chest so she could hear his heartbeat. "I talked to Hank about it. He wants me to wait until he's sure about the graft."

"How long?" He began to run his hands up and down her back. His healing factor had kicked in and he was nearly ready for round two.

"He's not sure," she told him. "He thinks the graft may give from the pressure. Evidently, there's a big increase in the amount of blood in the body during pregnancy. He has another option."

"Oh?" he asked surprised. "What is it?"

"He thinks he can splice your healing factor into my DNA." His hands stilled.

"Are ya sure?"

"He's not sure if it will work, but he wants to test his theory."

"On you?" he demanded, lifting her up so he could look into her eyes.

"Not at first," she told him, "he wants to try with a lab rat first."

"And if it works?"

"Then we have a decision to make."

"Why? If it works then why do we hafta make a decision?"

"There's a possibility that it could cause cancer."

He flipped them over and settled his weight on her body. "How much of a chance?" he growled.

"He's not sure," she admitted. "He won't know until he does the tests."

He rolled off of her and got up, pulling on his pants as he went.

"Where are you going?" she demanded.

"I wanna talk ta Blue," he told her.

"But you just got home," she protested. "I'm not finished with you yet."

"I'll be back," he assured her. "If he's gonna use my DNA, I have a right ta know everythin', and that's what I wanna know; everythin'." He stomped his feet into his boots and grabbed a shirt. "Go get somethin' ta eat. When I'm done talkin' ta Beast, ya ain't leavin' this room fer a coulpa days."

He gave her a quick kiss and left the room.

"Poo," she pouted. "I should have waited until tomorrow to tell him."

She got dressed and wandered down to the kitchen. Jean and Scott were putting together a picnic and were very surprised to see her. They knew Logan had come home and didn't expect to see her for a few days. They watched her as she pulled some leftover fried chicken from the ice box and started to eat.

"Jubilee? Are you alright?" Scott asked.

"I'm fine," she told him. "Why are you asking?"

"We didn't expect to see you for at least two days. Logan's home after all."

"He's talking with Hank about something," she told him sourly.

"He spends an hour with you then goes and talks with Hank?" Jean asked, surprised. "That doesn't sound like him."

"Well," she shrugged, "we started talking about having kids and I told him about Hank's opinion about the graft." She couldn't help herself. She started to cry.

Jean and Scott looked at each other, concerned. Jubilee wasn't one to cry easily. It took a lot to make her show her feelings to the rest of the team.

"Oh sweetie," Jean crooned, enveloping the weeping woman in her arms. "What's wrong?"

"I can't give Wolvie the babies he wants," she wailed. "He told me he wants me to have his babies but Hank told me no."

Jean looked at her husband in panic. She knew that she wasn't the person to comfort Jubilee. Her own pregnancy would come between them. Scott nodded and took Jubilee into his arms.

"You're a wonderful, loving woman, Jubilee," he told her. "Any child would be lucky to have you as a mom. Logan wouldn't object to adoption if you can't have your own."

"How do you know?" she asked tearfully.

"Look at all the children he's taken responsibility for even though they aren't his," he reasoned. "Look at your own childhood. He didn't have to take care of you, but he did. He may not have been a father to you but he made sure you had someone to substitute for one. He made sure you had Sean. Look at Kitty and Amiko. He loves children and he knows the crisis for mutant children in the world today. Please don't cry sweetheart. He loves you, not your ability to reproduce." He looked over her head at his wife. 'Get Logan,' he mouthed. She ran out of the room as fast as she dared.

Logan ran into the kitchen six minutes later followed by Jean less than a minute after him.

"Jubes, what's wrong?" She wiped her eyes and stood with her back to him. She didn't want him to see her cry.

"You two need to talk," Scott told him. He grabbed Jean's arm and the picnic basket and pulled her out of the room.

"Jubes?" Logan said as the door swung shut.

"I'm okay," she sniffed.

"No," he said, "yer not." He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. "Don't shut me out, darlin'."

She turned around and buried her face in his chest. He could smell her fresh tears.

"I can't give you children," she told him, her tears soaking into his shirt. "Hank doesn't think the graft will hold."

His heart contracted in pain. The picture of the baby in his head dissolved to mist. The chances of having the little girl with Jubilee's beautiful features suddenly became remote.

"I won't stop loving you just 'cause you can't have kids," he told her thickly. "There are plenty of kids out there that need a home. We can adopt."

"No, we can't," she told him. "No court is going to give us custody of a kid. We're mutants and you don't know your name. We can't even get married."

He pushed her gently back and looked at her face. "I don't need a piece of paper ta tell me we're married. In my heart, yer already my wife."

"But I want to have children," she whispered, "I want to have your children."

"Oh, baby," he sighed. "I want you ta have my kids too, but not if it's gonna kill ya."

He picked her up, took her back to their room and tenderly made love to her, putting every last ounce of his love into it. When he was finished, they were both in tears.

He held her until she fell asleep. When he was sure she was asleep, he slipped out of the bed and got dressed. He had questions that only Hank could answer.

He met Jean in the upper hall near their room. Now five months pregnant, she was glowing and more beautiful than ever before.

"How is she doing?" she asked.

"Upset," he told her.

"Still?"

"Yeah," he said. "She needs ta grieve. I don't think she's gonna get over this very fast. This one hurt her too bad."

"What about you?" she asked, a slight tilt to her head. "You lost your future children as well."

"I'm hurtin' too Jeannie, but I'm more afraid. I'm scared Jubes'll ignore what Blue says and get pregnant anyway. I can't lose her, I just found her."

"You know what you're going to have to do, don't you?"

"I hafta take charge of birth control, I know." He took a deep breath and blew it out forcefully. "If I didn't have this damned healin' factor I could get a vasectomy."

"That's a pretty drastic step for someone who will live as long as you."

"It wouldn't work anyway. I need ta talk ta Hank. Maybe there's somethin' else we can do." He was absently rubbing his chest again.

Jean had seen him doing this almost daily ever since Jubilee was injured. She couldn't understand why. Every time she asked, he would blow her off with some excuse or another. She was becoming very concerned.

"Logan, will you please have Hank look at your chest?" she demanded. "It obviously still bothers you."

"I'm fine," he told her. He had to get away from her before she asked too many questions. He wanted to talk to Hank but not about his still aching chest. "I'll see ya later."

He left her in the upper hall and went to find Hank.

"She should not attempt pregnancy," Hank told him moments later in his research lab. "I am not confident in the graft's ability to handle the increased blood flow that occurs during gestation."

"Can't ya draw off the excess?" Logan asked. "She really wants this."

"The extra blood is there for a reason. She would be supporting the bodily functions of a fetus. Any lowering of the blood volume would compromise the placenta and jeopardize the life of the child. I reiterate Logan, she should not even attempt it."

Logan sighed in defeat. "What 'bout this gene thing?"

"If the gene therapy works, I am not sure I can keep her from conceiving. Oral contraceptives will no longer prevent ovulation."

"So she might end up poppin' out kid after kid?" He was appalled. She would be so busy raising kids that she wouldn't have time for him.

"Not necessarily," Hank said, "I don't know if there is a female with a healing factor but there is the possibility that her body would reject any fetus as foreign. She would suffer miscarriage after miscarriage. I do not think that would be in her best interest, mentally."

"Shit," Logan swore. He sat in the chair beside Hank's desk. "What are we goin' ta do, Hank? I can't let Jubes go through loosin' baby after baby and I can't see her acceptin' not havin' kids at all."

"There is every chance this will work and she will have normal pregnancies," Hank said as he sat at the desk. "If this works, I see no reason you cannot try. We don't know that much about the mechanisms of conception. We don't know why one pregnancy is aborted and another is not. We won't know if Jubilation can gestate successfully until she tries. That is true of any woman."

"So we wait?" he asked, frustrated. Hank couldn't give him any positive assurances.

"Yes, you wait. I don't want her to attempt a pregnancy until I give her the okay. I recommend that you continue using protection for the time being. I also recommend Jubilation be fitted for a diaphragm. It will double your protection. Have Jean give you the number of her obstetrician. I am not qualified to measure and fit her for such a device."

"But she's takin' the pill," Logan objected.

"I am taking her off of all chemicals," Hank told him. "Her system must be completely clean before I will attempt to harvest her bone marrow. Any chemical interference may affect the outcome of the therapy."

"She ain't gonna like that," Logan said as he got up.

"Before you go," Hank stopped him, "I need a blood sample from you."

He sat down again and rolled up his sleeve. He'd do anything for Jubilee, even if it meant he had to sacrifice his arms.

That evening, Jubilee and Jean were in the gym for a light workout; Jean on the treadmill and Jubilee on the balance beam. Jean couldn't help but admire the flexibility of the younger woman. She wasn't that limber even when she wasn't pregnant.

Jubilee had been a world class gymnast before her powers manifested. She might have taken an Olympic gold if it weren't for the fact that mutants weren't allowed to participate in the Olympics. Now, she was too old and too tall to compete against the much younger gymnasts on the amateur circuit today. She still kept in shape. Maybe not in competition shape but good enough shape that she could use her training to augment her fighting skills.

It was Jubilee's athletic skills that Jean was going to rely on now. For the past seven years, the Xavier Institute has held a benefit to raise money for the US Olympic team. The annual ball was to be held in two weeks and she didn't have a formal dress that would fit her now rounded figure. Jubilee had been moping around the house all day and Jean felt a little retail therapy was in order.

She waited until the young woman had dismounted the beam before she brought up the subject of the benefit. From the dismayed surprise on Jubilee's face, she had forgotten about the ball.

"Shit, Jean," she swore, "I don't feel like going to a formal shindig. And besides, I don't have anything to wear."

"You have to go, Jubilee," she told her. "You're our connection to the coaches and all the X-Men who aren't visibly mutated or on security duty have to go."

"But..."

"If I'm going, with my belly entering the room five minutes before I do, you can go too. Make sure you get Logan's tux cleaned."

"You're making Wolvie go too?"

"Of course," she smiled smugly. "Come on, Jubilee, come with us. It'll be worth it just to watch Logan fight with his necktie all night."

For the first time that day, Jubilee grinned. "I'll go," she said, "but you owe me one."

"I'll buy you the dress," Jean promised. "I don't have anything to wear either. Let's get Ororo and go shopping."

"'Ro's still not very happy with me," Jubilee warned her. "She doesn't like me and Logan being together."

"Don't worry," Jean told her confidently. "I'll keep Storm in line."

None of the women were the kind who were comfortable in ruffles and bows, so they ended up going to the city and hitting the boutiques. Storm found a stunning sapphire blue silk gown that was beautiful in it's simplicity and looked wonderful with the regal weather goddess' blue eyes. Jean was able to find a black velvet maternity gown that looked stylish and flattered her growing figure. Jubilee's choice, however, stopped them in their tracks.

It was Chinese red silk with long sleeves and a high neck, at least in the front. The back plunged nearly to an indecent depth. It bared her back from shoulder blade to shoulder blade and from her neck to the dimple just above where her cheeks divided. The fabric clung to her curves, accentuating the swell of her breasts and hips before falling to the floor in a six inch train.

Shoes were next. Jean opted for a pair of black pumps with one inch heals. Her center of gravity was off and she was afraid she would fall if she wore her customary stilts. Storm chose a pair of flat Grecian sandals in silver. Jubilee found a pair of beaded sandals in red that matched the dress.

They stopped at the dry cleaner and dropped off Logan's tux to be cleaned and Jubilee's dress for alterations. A woman as short as she was couldn't buy off the rack without altering the garment. The dress needed to be taken up five inches.

The night of the benefit the entire team, with the exception of Hank and Kurt, checked into the Plaza Hotel for the night. Last year the party went on until early morning. None of them cared to drive back so late this year.

She was sitting at the vanity, applying her make-up as Logan fussed with his tie behind her. No matter how he did it, the damned thing kept turning sideways. Jean was right. It was fun to watch him fight the tie. She finally had enough and jumped up, slapping his hands away from the mangled strip of fabric. She deftly tied the tie and settled it next to his neck.

"Now, leave it alone," she ordered. "If I have to retie your tie more than once, you'll be in a world of hurt."

"Yes, dear," he said, meekly.

She smiled and kissed him thoroughly. His hands reached to untie her robe but she stepped away from him.

"We can't be late," she said, "Cyke'll kill us."

"Let him get his own girl," Logan growled, reaching for her again. "I got mine."

"Behave." Jubilee laughed. "I need to finish my make-up and get dressed." She sat back down and picked up a tiny brush.

He leaned over and nuzzled her neck. "I asked ta keep the room fer a few days," he said, his mouth playing havoc with her heart rate. "We never did have a honeymoon."

"We're not married," she reminded him, moving her head to give him better access.

"Who cares?" he asked. "The honeymoon's more fun anyway."

"Stop it," she hissed. She picked up a bottle of skin lotion and shoved it into his hands. "Here, make yourself useful and put some lotion on my back." She dropped the robe to expose her back.

The sight of the tiny beige thong sent his heart rate into the roof.

"Um, Jubes?" he asked. "Are ya plannin' ta wear underwear?"

"I can't wear a bra with my dress but I have panties on," she said.

"Those ain't panties," he croaked. "Those are play clothes. My kinda play clothes."

"For heavens sake Logan," she said, "they are too panties. All of us wear them now."

"Ya never did before."

"You never let me wear clothes long enough for you to notice what I was wearing. Haven't you wondered what the X-women wear under their uniforms?"

"I figured they wear what you ladies always wear under your clothes; proper underwear."

"Spandex and unstable molecules show every line of our underwear. Most of us wear thongs under our uniforms. Some of us wear nothing. Regular underwear shows when we wear them under our uniforms."

"Ya mean ta tell me ya don't wear anythin' under yer uniform?" he yelled.

"I wear a thong," she told him. "I don't like the feel of unstable molecules next to such sensitive skin. Why the hell are we arguing about this?"

"They ain't decent," he stated. "'specially not on my wife."

A quick swipe of her blush and she was finished with her make-up. She stood and faced him, her expression coldly angry.

"Move," she said.

He stood his ground.

"Move," she told him again, "or so help me Logan, I'll paff you into next week."

He looked into her angry eyes. She was deadly serious. He moved out of her way.

She grabbed her dress from the closet and went into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.

When she came back out, she was wearing the dress. Logan couldn't understand why she had to wear such provocative undergarments. The dress was almost matronly in it's style. The neckline was much higher that he was used to seeing her in and the sleeves went past her wrists. When she turned to grab her small bag, it became very clear.

The thong was barely hidden by back of the dress. He had always loved her back. He thought it was one of the sexiest parts of her body, mainly because it was usually covered.

"God, Jubes," he breathed, "you look incredible."

"Thank you," she said. She still hadn't forgiven him for his cave man attitude.

The elevator ride to the main ballroom was silent. Jubilee was still fuming at him and Logan was trying to find a way of apologizing without saying he was sorry. He still didn't like the thong and he told her so.

"Oh for god's sake," she spat. He heard a rustle of silk and she wriggled against him briefly. The elevator doors opened and he held his hand out to indicate she should go first. As she left the elevator, she slapped his hand. He looked down to find the offending thong hanging off his finger.

"Oh, shit," he whispered. He didn't have to worry about the thong anymore. Jubilee was out there not wearing anything under her dress.