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Scarlet Pain

Chapter Six

For all his determination to show no fear, Harry still felt the first threads of panic as he made his way to his detention with Snape. Was the Professor still angry with him for what had happened? Would he be subjected to that blood-freezing glare again? And, even has his rational mind mocked him for his own insecure stupidity, the lone thought of 'would the Potions Master hurt him?' refused to disappear completely.

Severus heard the knock on his office door and knew that Harry had arrived. He desperately willed his now constant headache away before muttering a distinct "Enter."

Harry entered slowly and closed the door behind him. For a long moment they just looked at each other. Severus noted with cold amusement the struggle in the young man's eyes between terror and defiance.

"Come here Potter." Harry swallowed and walked slowly to stand in front of Snape's desk. The Professor's eyes narrowed. "You will be starting your Occlumency lessons again." Harry's eyes widened in horror. Occlumeny meant that his professor would be able to get inside his head again.

"But – "

Severus sneered at him and cut him off. "Indeed. I can assure you I look forward to this about as much as you do." He knew he was hedging on the truth with that last statement. "You will be meeting me every Tuesday and Thursday after dinner until you have mastered it. Understood?" Harry swallowed again and nodded. "Good."

In one swift movement Severus stood and placed himself between Harry and the rest of the room, effectively keeping him from backing away because of the desk. To his benefit, Harry barely flinched besides a muffled squeak of surprise. Snape smirked and crossed his arms in front of his chest. Harry looked up at him defiantly.

"Now, I want you tell me what you were doing last night in Myrtle's bathroom with Draco." He watched as all the defiance disappeared into nervousness.

"I – " Harry stuttered. Severus raised an eyebrow. "Using the bathroom?" Oh, good one Potter.

"Really. I was under the impression that that is a girls' bathroom, is it not."

"It is."

"Then what were you doing in there." Snape leaned forward and hissed, "And don't you dare lie to me." Harry's throat went dry.

"I wanted to be alone," he choked out. "But Draco was already there."

"And why would you go into a girl's bathroom to be alone in the first place?"

"No one goes in there cause of Moaning Myrtle and the whole entrance to the Chamber thing. So I go there when – " He stopped suddenly and looked up at the Professor with wide eyes.

"When what Potter?"

"When – when I don't want to be around people." Oh Merlin, if only the man would back up a bit he might regain some control over his nerves.

"So our resident celebrity is trying to hide from his fans, is he?" Snape knew this was cruel but he wanted to see how far he had to push Potter to get a reaction beyond this Longbottom nervousness.

"That's not true!" Apparently not far. "I never asked for any of this you know!" Suddenly Harry paled and tried to take a step back, only to hit the desk. He shivered as he looked up at the unmoving Potions Master warily.

"Indeed," Snape sneered at him. There was – another – long pause during which Severus let the Gryffindor attempt to get his nerves under control. "What happened after you went to 'be alone?'" he couldn't help the sneer that had snuck back into his voice. Harry blinked in surprise at the abrupt change in subject, then glared up at his professor.

"What did it look like?" He muttered.

"What do you think it looked like?" Snape voice oozed with his trademark sarcasm. "A bloody Mr. Malfoy and you, Mr. Potter, with his knife in your hands." Harry's head snapped up to look at him, intense green eyes wide with fear. He barely resisted the urge to look around frantically for an exit. There was no point anyways considering his position made it impossible to move without getting closer to Snape.

"I – I didn't. I didn't do that. I swear!" Severus noticed with a twinge of alarm the very sudden change in demeanor. The young man's eyes that had just seconds ago held an albeit nervous defiance were now clouded with panic and desperate denial. "It wasn't me, Professor. I – I was trying to. He was. I didn't – " Harry didn't notice Snape's calculated look as he interrupted.

"Shoving the blame elsewhere? How like a Potter – "

"No! I didn't!" There was a shocked silence before Harry lunged toward the door; but Snape was faster, grabbing the young man firmly by the wrist.

Harry jerked with surprise, his wide expressive eyes staring at the professor in dismay. Part of him, the part that had somehow come to trust and adore the Potions Master in the last year struggled with his very real fear just as he struggled to get his wrist free.

Severus saw the conflict in Harry's eyes, even if he didn't fully comprehend it. With another swift movement he had grabbed the Gryffindor's other wrist, turned so that he was facing away from the professor, and pulled him close. Harry gasped and struggled harder, but Snape was relentless. Unfortunately for the Potions Master, his body was quickly, and innappropriately responding the young body writhing in his arms and he was suddenly very glad for the many layers he wore even under his heavy robes.

"Stop struggling Harry!" He hissed out in the young man's ear. Harry stopped struggling, startled by the sound of his name coming from the mouth of his Potions Professor, but his body still trembled.

No tears, Potter. Remember. No tears. Harry squeezed his eyes shut and willed them away. When he spoke he was surprised to see how steady, if quiet, it was. "What are you doing, Professor?"

"Do you trust me?"

Oh Merlin. He wanted to answer honestly and say yes, he really did, but in doing so he would leave himself open to be taken advantage of. The grip on him tightened almost desperately, and Harry wondered idly if maybe Snape was desperate for him to trust him. For some reason the thought felt almost comforting.

"Do you trust me, Harry?" His voice was not gentle by any means, but it didn't cut him like before, or mock him. It was almost as if the Potions Master was trying to be considerate or comforting. Despite his fears Harry found himself telling him the truth.

"Yes." The answer was soft and Severus felt the body in his arms tense, as if waiting for some kind of blow. He realized sadly that it probably was.

"Do you trust me not to hurt you?"

"Yes." It was almost sounded as if he regretted it.

"If you trust me, then why are you still scared of me?"

"I – I can't help it."

"Will you tell me why?"

"I can't. Please don't make me tell." By now Harry's voice was barely above a whisper. It wasn't that he didn't want to tell, but he didn't think he could bear it if the Potions Master knew and was disgusted with him. If he told, he would lose all chance of gaining the man's respect. This was one problem he needed to deal with on his own.

Severus knew not to push, and just as quickly as he'd grabbed him, he let Harry go. The young man stumbled forward and turned to look at him. The expected tears weren't there, but in those beautiful green eyes – he did not just think that? – were filled with pain and a pleading, whether for help or understanding he wasn't sure. Another emotion was visible, barely, an emotion he hadn't expected to see in the young man's face: hope. It disturbed him. He had never given or been the hope of anyone, nor had he ever tried to be. Hope was dangerous. Hope lead to wounds too deep to heal. Severus backed up stiffly, throwing up his Slytherin façade.

Harry saw Snape's features harden and twisted his hands together in nervousness.

"Dismissed Potter. I expect to see you here tomorrow at the same time."

Back to last names then. Harry tried to not let his confusion and hurt show at the brusque dismissal, though he wasn't sure if he succeeded. Just as he was about to leave he heard his professor's voice calling him back.

"Potter, there are better places to go for solitude than a girls bathroom. I've…heard that the grove of pines on the east side of is not often frequented." There's also a rather beautiful wild flower garden there as well, though he didn't mention it. He glanced up when he realized that Harry was still there, and smiling at him.

"Thank you professor," the young man said quietly before leaving quickly. Severus couldn't help the next thought that passed through his mind. He should smile more often.

TBC