Disclaimer: Do I even need to repeat myself? sighs Fine. I don't own anything in Harry Potter, that honor goes to J.K. Rowling. So please don't sue me.

Scarlet Pain

Chapter Seven

Harry went back to the Gryffindor tower and straight to bed, ignoring the curious and apprehensive stares he had been getting since the beginning of term. He wasn't quite sure why the students had taken to staring at him this time; he didn't realize that they had sensed a distinct change in him from last year. The 'Boy-Who-Lived' had taken to ignoring everyone around him, and jumped or flinched whenever approached too closely. His once sparkling eyes now held a permanent dazed expression. He looked like someone who had been Kissed by a Dementor, but acted like a cornered snake. A very twitchy, nervous, and dangerous cornered snake.

Rumors had started going around. Some students whispered that he'd caught and tortured by Death Eaters over the summer, some said that Dark Lord had been possessing him and that any day now the scarred boy would turn on the school. Other students said that his Muggle family had him locked away in an institution because he was crazy. What they didn't realize was the uncanny similarities between their own rumors and the truth.

Nightmares and visions plagued the green-eyed boy. Every time the Dark Lord was angry, gleeful, or so bored he needed "entertainment" he could feel it as a searing pain in his scar. With every vision he could feel every curse Voldemort cast during that time. He would wake, trembling and in terror. When it was a vision, he would tell Dumbledore, but usually it was 'just' a nightmare. Nightmares were almost worse. Visions of his Uncle Vernon, of Mr. Collins, of Voldemort, Death Eaters, of his parents, of Cedric, of Sirius, and of Dementors plagued his sleep.

Sometime in the middle of the night Harry awoke from another such nightmare. For a while he just laid there on his bad, staring blankly at the ceiling. Once his breathing reached a relatively normal speed, Harry grabbed his father's cloak and headed out into the night. He wandered aimlessly for a while, wondering if he could get away with visiting that grove Severus had mentioned earlier that day, but quickly changed his mind. It was full moon out tonight and he didn't want to get stuck in a dangerous situation. Besides, he had a lot of thinking to do, and if he were constantly keeping senses fully alert for any sign of danger, he would never have a chance to organize his thoughts. Once again, Harry found himself climbing the stairs of the Astronomy Tower.

Unbeknownst to the Boy-Who-Refused-to-Die, a young blonde Slytherin was sneaking out of his new rooms in search of place to gather his thoughts as well. What this young man didn't know was that he wasn't all that good at sneaking out from under the care of a man who was not only a spy, but also the Head of Slytherin House.

Draco kept to the shadows, taking more care than Harry had because he didn't have the added advantage of having an Invisibility Cloak. Unlike the young Gryffindor, Draco knew exactly where he wanted to go: the Astronomy Tower.

Whenever he'd needed a place to just be, and he didn't want to have to worry about some whiny ghost that never knew when to shut the hell up, he went the tower. Peeves rarely went up there, and he didn't think even Filch looked up there all that often. What Draco found amusing was that even with the benefit of almost guaranteed privacy, few couples ever took advantage of the Astronomy Tower.

The blonde stopped suddenly and quietly hid in the shadows of the stairwell. There, looking out of the tower window was Potter. The Gryffindor's cloak was pushed back and a rather persistent wind had caught the silky fabric, tugging it to and fro around Harry's body. The effect was eerie, and if Draco hadn't known what a real ghost looked like, he would have thought that the young man before him did not belong to the land of the living.

Harry let the breeze play across his face and closed his eyes. The tower was strangely comforting, and it almost felt as if the castle itself was gently caressing him along with the air. He let his mind wander, going over the day's events, shuffling them, organizing them, then letting them go. It was almost like meditating. Harry wondered with a slight frown why he hadn't thought of this before. He opened his eyes slowly and looked down at his hands. In his minds eye he could still see the blood from his dreams, coating his hands in crimson. He gave a small shudder and looked out of the window again.

"They're all going to die, and I can't save them," he whispered to the castle. A quiet intake of breath broke Harry's concentration and he turned his head towards the shadows. Draco stepped forward slowly. "You will too you know. Just like the others." Harry turned away from the blonde. "Just like everyone else."

"No I won't."

"What makes you so sure?" There was no malice in the question, just genuine curiosity.

"Because the Dark Lord could never win against someone like you." Harry let out a bitter laugh and refused to look at the Slytherin.

"Then you're a fool." There was a long silence, not uncomfortable, but heavy nonetheless.

"I'm surprised at you Potter. Besides your failed attempt at challenging my superior wisdom, you haven't once in the past few weeks responded to any taunting or baiting." Harry finally turned to look at him, an expressionless mask on his face. "In fact, you haven't been yourself at all this year. I wouldn't even be surprised if you suddenly
told me that you didn't hate me, or Snape for that matter. You do realize how disturbing that is, don't you?" Draco raised an eyebrow and gave him a pointed look. Harry just sighed.

"I don't. Hate either of you I mean. I don't know if I ever really did." This time it was Draco's turn to laugh. "I'm serious. I may have disliked you, despised you even. But never hate. As much of a prat as you can be, you don't deserve hate from anyone."

"Touching Potter. Truly touching."

"What do you want Malfoy?" Draco was surprised by Harry's sudden and unexpected change of attitude. "Are you here to get revenge for me finding you? Are you going to mock me for what I did? What? I'm tired, Malfoy. I'm sick to death of fighting with you. I'm sick to death of everything right now, so if you're going to do something, do it now and get it over with. I don't have the strength to play word games with you so now's your chance." He was glaring at the speechless blonde, daring him to something, anything.

Draco eyes shuttered, and instead of responding he brushed past Potter and leaned against the windowsill. Harry stood frozen to the spot, warily watching the young Slytherin.

"I came here to think, if you must know. I didn't expect you here."

"Oh." Harry said softly. "Sorry."

"Don't be. Now that you're here, and there's no one else around, I have something I want to tell you." Harry visibly stiffened. Draco turned to him, emotions hidden firmly behind hooded eyes. "I'm not used to saying this, and I don't know if you'll ever get the chance to hear it again from me, but thanks." Harry blinked in surprise.

"Whatever for?"

"For caring, or at least pretending to. You didn't have to try and stop me, but you did. I don't think any of my 'friends'" he sneered the word, "would have been so daring."

There was another loaded silence before Draco spoke up again. "And if you tell anyone I said that I'll deny every word."

"I don't think anyone would believe me anyways," Harry chuckled softly.

"I do have a question for you Potter." Harry nodded. "Why isn't it worth it?"

Why indeed? Harry stood quietly for a while, thinking. "Because what's the point in adding to the pain? If you're being hurt, there's no sense in giving yourself more hurt." He paused, and then shaking his head, continued. "I know it's something that only you have control over, that when you look at the scar you've made, you see something that you did, as an expression of what's inside. That control, that feeling of release every time the blade comes down, it's hard to give up. But when you think about it, all you're doing by adding to the pain is letting them win. Don't you get it? That's what they want. They want you to be so buried beneath the pain and guilt that you can't see anything else." Draco realized that Harry had stopped answering his question. It was almost as if the young man was more trying to convince himself than anyone else; but the blonde had a new understanding now. He may not be able to stop, the power of having some small amount of control over his body was addicting, but maybe he would be able to get past it sooner, rather than later.

"I think, Harry," the Gryffindor's eyes locked with the blonde's in shock. "I think you should consider what you're saying, and try to get past whatever guilt is stopping you from living." Harry's eyes, if possible, widened even further, before narrowing in anger and the ever-present fear. Draco took a cautious step forward, but the other backed up quickly.

"Don't. Just don't." Harry's voice trembled slightly. Without another word he fled down the stairs, past the hidden form of the Potions Master and all the way back to the Gryffindor tower. He would get no sleep for the rest of the night.

Draco watched after him sadly. "Professor, I know you're there," he said wearily. Snape drew forward out of the shadows and looked at his godson coolly.

"And what, pray tell, was that all about?"

"If you can't see, Professor, then I don't think me telling you is going to make a difference."

"Indeed," Snape said coldly.

"Oh, come off it Severus! He needs help, and he needs to know that he can help others. I'm trying to give him both." Draco looked up into the scowling countenance of his godfather and hissed angrily. "I don't care what your bloody problem is with him, or if it's even him you hate so much and not his father. Oh don't look so surprised. Every time you berate, yell, or insult him in or out of class you bring up his father, so don't be so shocked that it's almost common knowledge by now that you and Potter's dad didn't get along. But people don't choose their parents, and as much as you may hate to admit it, you do have a heart. So use it. I'm trying to help the one person who can save us, yes I know that's selfish, but don't you dare screw this up for me. You go and redeem yourself in whatever way you see fit, let me do it in mine." Draco suddenly stopped, shocked and unsure as to where that rant had some from. And from the look on Severus' face, so was he. As the blonde turned to leave, Snape caught his arm.

"I don't hate him," he said quietly.

"I know," Draco replied, just as softly. In silence, the two Slytherins returned to their chambers, each lost in thought.

TBC