Christmas Eve
By the way, you guys make lousy fudge. - Red X
-t-h-i-e-f-
The season of Christmas had come upon the bright metropolis of Jump City and with it the Titan Tower too had been pulled into the current of joy and celebration. Standing tall in the middle of the Titans' living room a large, full branched pine-tree took up an obscene amount of space. Space that soon filled with brilliantly blinking Christmas lights, popcorn strings, tinsel, and brightly hued Christmas bobbles. The great golden star to top the tree had not yet journeyed to the peak of the impressive shrub and the Titans remained hard at work to prepare for Christmas day.
"NOO! Starfire not that! Don't! DON'T! NOOOOOOO!" wailed Beast Boy dramatically, throwing himself at the Tameranian girl and tackling her away from the kitchen counter.
The girl squealed and the bottle of ketchup and curry mix in her hands flew from her fingers to sail across the room. Robin, carrying a large stack of newly wrapped boxes, packages and bags walked through the door just into time to get smacked in the forehead by the errant bottle. The Boy Wonder hollered and went down in a rain of boxes and wrapping paper to be buried alive in the mountain of bright parcels. Raven, sitting quietly amid several bowls of unstrung popcorn and thread spools ignored the culinary war waging only just across the couch behind her and gestured lazily to the pile of boxes crushing the life from their spiky haired leader. The packages obediently floated over to arrange themselves under the tree and revealed a very abused looking Robin sprawled on the carpet beneath.
"You wouldn't have to carry all that junk if you just let me-," Raven began.
"No! I have to check every present myself," Robin interrupted fiercely. "Anyone of our enemies might try to mail us something dangerous. Even you agreed with me. It would be stupid not to."
"Yeah, cuz you know how grateful little girls loo-ove to make bombs and explosives in Art Class," teased Cyborg as he stepped over the fallen martial artist, a bulging bag of envelopes and packages filled to bursting over his broad shoulders. "H'all right y'all! Who wants fanmail?"
Raven's left brow gave an involuntary twitch. "Do the words Puppet King mean anything to you?"
The cybernetic teenager flushed, toffee hued skin growing darker with the memory. "Erm…Here Rob. You'd better check these too," he said nervously, dumping the sack on the smaller boy. Raven winced as Robin once again found himself buried in presents from fans, grateful families, the police department, the governor and fire department. The boy thrashed around, voice muffled by the paper and cloth while Cyborg tried unsuccessfully to dislodge poor Robin.
Behind the kitchen counter, Starfire grappled violently with a large green gorilla in a cooking apron. Beast Boy (gorilla) shielded a large bowl of cookie mix protectively while staving her off with what looked like a large rubber spatula. Starfire, in contrast attempted to reach the bowl, her free hand wielding a bottle of salsa most skillfully.
"Cookies of the Christmas shall not be complete without the wonderful, zesty, zip of your human salsa!" she protested as the spatula smacked her repeatedly.
Beast Boy reverted to his human form, but continued to beat at her with the cooking implement, short greenish hair peppered with white flour and doughy clumps. Howling like wolf defending its cubs, he fenced off the Tameranian skillfully with his spatula, dodging her attempts to fill his cookie batter with salsa.
"Back off, dude! No one puts salsa in sugar cookies! Everyone will think we're crazy! LET ME HANDLE IT!" Beast Boy growled while planting a foot against Starfire's head. Despite the boot on her skull, the girl still stretched her arm for the bowl, fingers waving about as if to feel it out.
"But just let me-"
"No!"
"But if I-"
"No!"
"What if-"
"NO!" Beast Boy shrieked, clutching at the bowl and hissing rabidly. Starfire blinked at her friend and decided she sought to help Raven string popcorn instead. Five hours of cookie baking and Christmas dinner making had very-nearly sent the changeling into a hysterical twitching craze and he obviously didn't appreciate Starfire's alien input on his culinary methods. The green-furred boy watched her move all the way over to the sofa before he returned to his previous cooking trance.
Raven gestured to the little white popcorn puffs and the tiny kernels flew into the air to line up neatly overhead. Then with her other arm she waved the needle and thread through the ranks of popcorn, stringing the entire bowl at once. Starfire blinked, eyes round with admiration for the dark-haired psychic and picked up a package yet to be popped. She ripped it open and dumped all the kernels into the bowl and waited patiently.
Thirty seconds later, Raven looked up soberly from her threading and spoke up. "They pop when you heat them, Starfire."
"Oooh!" the alien girl cooed in enlightenment. "Then I shall pop the popcorn until it is…popped!" She grinned happily and began heating the bowl with her starbolts. Raven's eyes grew round in horror.
"No! Star! You need a –"
POP!
"-lid," Raven finished lamely.
A blizzard of popcorn tumbled from the ceiling around them, filling the air with the tasty aroma of freshly made popcorn. The red-head blushed madly as Raven scowled and meticulously picked the little white puffs from her violet tresses. Beast Boy didn't even take notice of the popcorn fiasco, far too absorbed in his cooking to be bothered with such trivial things. Raven summoned all the fallen corn-puffs to the empty bowl and handed Starfire the needle and thread.
"Think you can work that with out lighting the tree on fire?" Raven demanded flatly.
Starfire nodded enthusiastically.
Raven twitched and picked up the novel she'd set down to string popcorn for. "Good."
The pretty alien quickly began stringing popcorn at high speed, looking quite entertained for someone performing a seemingly meticulous task. Raven flipped a couple pages of her novel before her teammate's curiosity overrode her mad decorating. The girl looked up from her bowl and thread to blink at the emotionless-looking Raven.
"Is it not required that one be 'merry' upon Christmas?" she inquired quizzically. "Because I -,"
"I don't do 'merry'," Raven replied tonelessly and flipped another page.
Starfire blinked at her friend for a long moment and decided it would be best to simply leave the introverted young woman alone and returned to her popcorn stringing. A few minutes later there came a loud crashing and banging from the hallway. Raven glanced up while Starfire hopped up, scattering popcorn every which way in her haste, and with a slight kick of her heels leapt into the air. The banging continued and a moment later a very wet, dripping figure stepped into the entry, a hunched in an inhuman partner beside it. They carried something large and oblong between them that looked suspiciously like a…
Robin's head popped out of the mail pile. "TITANS! GO!"
Starfire shouted a righteous war-cry and acid green light blazed up in her eyes and hands. Cyborg hollered his traditional 'BOO-YAH!' and aimed his arm at the intruder, mechanical hand shifting and rearranging as his beloved plasma blaster. Raven vanished in a swathe of shadow, obviously plotting a strategic, sneak attack somewhere while Robin…wriggled more furiously to get out of the killer mountain, mail mass of doom. (Beast Boy kept cooking.)
"Uhh…Titans? A little help here?" he said, sweatdropping.
"YAH!" screamed Starfire, zooming at the two gun-toting intruders.
"AHHHHHH!" said the first intruder.
Gurgle! agreed the second, clinging to the leg of the first and dropping the 'weapon'.
At this all the Titans froze and stared more closely at the individuals standing in the doorway. Starfire, suspicious, lifted her hand, allowing the greenish glow to fall across two terrified looking faces. A very wet, and very cold looking Aqualad and Tramm stood in the hall with a sopping, seaweed wrapped package lying on the floor at their feet. Hanging from the side a small, card read:
To: The Titans
From: Aqualad and Tramm
"Heh heh…sorry guys. We thought you were the rest of those robotic Christmas carolers that attacked us earlier," Cyborg laughed, reverting his arm back into a hand and rubbing the back of his head with it. A rushing sound signaled the reappearance of Raven. Sure enough, just to Aqualad's left a swirling vortex of black light opened up on the wall a couple feet away. Tramm squealed in terror and somehow vaulted up the telepath's frame and perched, twitching to the poor Atlantian's head. Raven's voice snorted somewhere inside the whirlpool of energy and a moment later the waifish figure of Raven, shrouded in her cloak, emerged.
"Oh is that all?" Raven said sarcastically. "And the recent string of robberies and reported crime tripling has nothing whatsoever to do with our holiday paranoia."
Aqualad huffed a breath of relief and pried Tramm's fingers out of his damp and glossy black hair. Though somewhat paler after having had the entire force of the Teen Titans attack force directed at him, the dark-eyed Titan from the sea seemed to have good humor about it. Placing Tramm on the floor beside him he smiled warmly at Raven who managed a small grin in return. She preferred not to get too carried away around the attractive Atlantian, should her emotions blow something up and with all the cookies and decorations around, it would result in a lot of pre-Christmas cleaning.
Starfire however, didn't have this problem. She launched herself at the boy, shrieking in joy and crushing him in a Tameranian bear-hug that made several vertebrae groan in protest. Tramm snickered while his taller partner gasped in pain. The girl took no noticed, instead swinging the aquatic Titan in a happy circle.
"Aqualad! I am overjoyed that you have come!" she cheered, setting the bruised Aqualad back on his feet. "Please you must join us for the Christmas and the awaiting of Santa!"
"Whose Santa?" he inquired.
"He is the jolly, red, fat man who squeezes down chimneys with presents for all the little earth children!" she began joyfully. "On Christmas Eve, we leave cookies for him to consume and hide in waiting. Then when we lure him out with promises of the delicious cookies and milk…" She paused and Aqualad nodded, vaguely intrigued by the thought of a fat man squeezing down chimneys. Starfire grinned and leapt up shouting, "WE JUMP THE ZARBNARF AND ARREST HIM FOR THE BREAKING AND ENTERING!"
Tramm, at this new explosion, no longer seemed to care what the crazy land-girl did and ignored it. Instead he dragged the package across the floor, while Raven propelled it along. Cyborg joined them a moment later, grinning and happy. Before Raven had a chance to escape, the two dove into what looked like an excited exchange about…mechanics from the way they presented each other with odd bits of hard-ware and electronics. Raven, annoyed, sat down on the couch and opened her book.
"Hmm…sounds like someone's been getting festive tutoring from Beast Boy again," remarked Robin, who'd finally escaped the mail pile. He grinned and met their guest halfway across the room and they two boys exchanged high-fives. "Hey, Aqualad. How's it going?"
"Fine. Nothing unusual. 'Fraid the ocean doesn't have much use for Santa," he joked, "but Atlantis does know a bit about your culture. We're supposed to give gifts right?"
"Please, would you care for staying and attending our celebration upon Christmas morn?" Starfire asked excitedly. "I could created a batch of my special Tameranian-,"
"NO! NO TAMERANIAN ANYTHING!" screamed Beast Boy suddenly, twitching from the refrigerator. Everyone stared at the changeling who looked downright dangerous among the array of cooking implements and various bowls of mix. Aqualad blinked. Robin sweatdropped and everyone else mimicked him. Finally Tramm broke the silence, chattering something urgently to his partner and making 'no go' signals with his webbed hands. The Atlantian nodded and shrugged apologetically to the Titans.
"Sorry guys. Can't. Atlantis doesn't celebrate Christmas so I get no vacation," he sighed. "Thanks a lot though. You know I'd stay if I could."
"Of course," Robin said understandingly.
Ravne looked up from her book. "Hey Aqualad. Be careful around the bay area. A couple corporate jerks are trying to comb the bottom for profit. Don't get caught in the mess," she said in her usual monotone. Then, after a pause, she added, "And merry Christmas."
"Yes. Avoid the bay. Your capture in horrible human netting would be most unmerry," Starfire agreed.
"Thanks guys. See yu' later," laughed the boy and moved toward the exit with Tramm.
"WAIT!" Beast Boy screamed and launched out of the cloud of flour he'd been shrouded in to charge the aquatic duo. They both flinched and Tramm leapt on his back for the second time that night, certain the erratic changeling met to bake them in a pie. The green-haired teenager skidded to a halt in front of them, panting and wild, with patches of sugar and flour all over his body. Then, he whipped out a bag of assorted Christmas cookies and thrust them into the startled Aqualad's hands.
"Have some Christmas cookies! Baked with love and tofu! Merry Christmas!"
"Umm…" replied Aqualad.
Gurgle? echoed Tramm, but Beast Boy already dove back into his world of baking and Christmas confections. The two blinked at one another and shrugged. As the door began to close behind them everyone managed to catch Aqualad's parting question to Tramm.
"What's tofu?"
-t-h-i-e-f-
Eleven o'clock struck its final hour with a ringing toll that roused Robin from his catnap. Groaning he sat up; a soft wool blanket slipping off his narrow, shoulders as he did so and sliding to the carpet. He glanced up at the horrible little clock Starfire had bought last week and glared at the monstrous little devise, contemplating whether to smash it with a birdarang or simply chuck it in the trash compactor. An obnoxious green and yellow color, its face glowed purple and it emitted the most horrible sound every hour. The same sound which had so gently stabbed its screeching sound wave into his skull. The Boy Wonder sighed and massaged the side of his head, feeling incredibly heavy for some reason.
Rubbing at his eyes with the back of his hand, he looked about and realized why.
Littering the floor, hundreds of little white cups rolled freely across the carpet beside an empty bowl of eggnog large enough to take over the table. Beast Boy had made enough for the whole Fire Department, but the blizzard made delivery impossible so the Titans had helped themselves. Robin flushed red, realizing he must have passed out sometime during their eggnog binge and conked out on the sofa. He could only hope the others hadn't noticed and merely assumed he'd gone to sleep.
The teenager yawned and stretched his arms over his head, arching his back until several vertebrae cracked satisfactorily and looking up at the finished product of the Titans' Christmas tree. Having nothing better to do now that he'd woken up, Robin stood and moved to pick up all the scattered cups.
"Zarbnarf!" ranted out a voice.
"Ahh!"
Robin sprang backward into the sofa as the lump of pillows at the end of the couch shifted and wriggled. 'Mmmf,' said the lump. The ebon-haired teenager slowly stepped off the couch and moved across the floor to peer around the squishy bulge of feather pillow. Curled up, hugging a pillow to her chest was none other than Starfire. Her long, red hair hung in soft waves down the side of the couch and across her face. With every breath, a small lock of hair blew in and out around her smiling lips.
Robin smiled, shaking his head as he turned around and picked up the blanket off the floor. Starfire sighed happily as Robin sat down beside her to tuck the blanket around her body, carefully wrapping her bare shoulders in the wool coverlet and brushing her hair out of her face. Robin's hands stroked her hair back so gently the girl didn't even stir. She simply sighed and hugged her pillow tighter.
Robin sat on the couch and watched her for a long moment, wondering if she'd been the one who covered him with the blanket in the first place. He couldn't deny he owned a certain affection for the little alien that he lacked for the other Titans. Perhaps it had something to do with her selfless naivety, or perhaps the innocent air of charm that seemed to cloak her lovely features no matter the situation. Robin even had to concede to a small crush… totally stupid of course. Just teenage hormones he told himself firmly. No matter how his heart threw a tantrum about 'true love'.
Course, he'd rather gag on his birdarang before admitting that.
He glanced at the Titan Alert module, standing as a silent sentinel on the counter by the kitchen. It hadn't gone off for almost two days now and for that Robin was grateful. With the sudden influx of crime the Boy Wonder had been certain the team would have no time for Christmas.
He sighed and leaned back, propping his head against the back of the sofa and simply soaking in the warm silence of the Christmas Eve evening. Sitting and doing nothing occurred rarely for Robin and the experience he discovered was one he rather enjoyed.
Then Robin's communicator went off.
"Mal zarkin!" exclaimed Starfire suddenly and lunged at Robin across the sofa. The boy yelped loudly as the Tameranian wrapped her arms around his ribs and crushed him in an affectionate bear-hug that nearly cracked the poor Titan's ribcage and pinned his right arm against his side.
Eep?
Robin squirmed desperately trying to loosen her grip, but failed miserably and simply held still, should she try to hold him tighter and actually break something. The alien girl didn't know her own strength sometimes and certainly not while her mind danced off in dreamland.
The musical beeping of Robin's communicator went off again. Starfire 'hmmm'ed contentedly and snuggled her face against the other Titan's side. Her dream obviously had something to do with her home planet and nothing to do with him, obviously, but that didn't make the situation any less awkward for Robin who now had a pretty, red-head girl clinging to his middle.
Looking for a distraction, Robin unhooked his communicator from his belt and flipped it open. No image appeared so the call came via a cell-phone or landline. He moved it against his ear and spoke softly as to not wake the dozing Tameranian. (Not that he'd wake her up. She'd slept through that awful alarm clock after all.)
"Robin here," he said lightly. "Who's this?"
"…" Silence from the other end.
Robin quirked a brow. "Umm…hello?"
Finally a deep breath drifted over the opposite line and a familiar, distorted voice spoke over the link. "Hey, kid. It's been a while."
Robin's entire body stiffened at the words and before he even thought to speak the name was out. "X!"
"That's my name," snickered the voice, just as cocky and laid-back as Robin remembered. "Look, I don't want trouble, but I thought since we're on such good terms with each other I could come to you with a small problem of mine."
"We're not a good terms and whatever it is, it's your problem. Not mine," replied Robin, a small bitter smile pulling at his lips. He leaned back and slid his elbow over the back of the couch, still holding the phone to his ear. "And since when do you associate with crime-fighters? Doesn't seem very smart for a thief."
"And using the same base-code for your crummy security system doesn't seem very smart for a crime-fighter," said the smug voice. "By the way, you guys make lousy fudge."
"You're bluffing," Robin laughed. "Beast Boy didn't make fudge."
"You wound me. Honor amongst thieves is very important to me," X said, genuinely defensive. "But I didn't call you to talk about food. I just wanted to ask you about someone since you're such an expert on criminals."
Robin snorted. "What makes you think I'll help you? You're a criminal too remember?"
"Then call it a tip-off," X replied impatiently. "You got any enemies that never seem to go away?"
Robin frowned at the Christmas tree. "More than I can count. What's you're point."
"Hey, I'm trying to be a nice guy. There's a psychopath in Jump. He's been lurking around my turf, trying to kill me for no reason in particular. Wears a lot of body armor, one eye. Sound familiar?"
Robin's heart did a couple major calisthenics in his chest and the boy instinctively knotted his hands into fists. Starfire shifted against his side and the Boy Wonder stared at the communicator for a long, long moment. Every logical atom in his being screamed all the impossibilities of X's statement, all the other possible meanings in his words. Red X did not count as a reliable source of information. As a thief, he probably knew all about Slade, probably even worked with him for all Robin knew. Thieves have no morals, lying would not recline beyond X's ability.
Despite all the logic, all the well worn paths of reasoning and thought, Robin could not for the life of him stop the sudden cold sweat that broke out across his forehead.
"Hellloo? Hey, Bird-Boy?" X called over the communicator. "Hello? That too complicated for you, kiddo? You still with me?"
Robin snapped out of his trance and gripped the Titan made devise with a shaking fist. "Yeah. What did you say his name was?"
Without missing a beat X snorted and replied, "I didn't but from that pause I think you know him. If you want me to tell you where the freak-show is, you'll have to do me a little favor."
The Titan leader chewed his lip a long moment. No. He wouldn't let X turn the tables over a breath of rumor. "I don't do favors. Not with criminals," he said flatly. Then, on a hunch he went on. "Besides, he's your problem now isn't he? Not my fault you pissed off a killer."
"Some hero you are. Real noble and all that bull-shit," X sneered, but Robin didn't miss the sudden tightening in his distorted voice waves. "Nothing I can't handle of course, but I'm not a heroic type like you, spiky. My problem will be your problem before long."
Robin grinned, enjoying the cat-burglar's distress. As serious as the situation that seemed to be developing Robin felt a brief gloating, sensation of gratification that the thief got a taste of what Robin had dealt with for so long. If X's words did indeed hold some inkling of truth and Slade really was trying to kill him, then Robin nearly pitied the selfish larcenist. Running from Slade, alone with no backup didn't strike Robin as a nice way to spend Christmas Eve. Just envisioning the madman almost made Robin concede to ask X where the murderer was for the sake of the city if nothing else.
Almost…
"Then I deal with it then," Robin replied. "Merry Christmas, X."
"Wait!" X hissed quickly, then bit off is words in irritation, obviously hating every moment of his disadvantageous position. Robin paused as if quite unconcerned and 'hmm?'ed ever so patiently into the speaker.
"…" A tense pause drifted from the other line. Finally, X's rigid voice spoke across the connection, his tone hot with disgust. "If you think I need your help… then you're stupider than I thought, kid."
"And if you think Slade will ever stop hunting you then you're a dead man," Robin replied, throwing the name in with a bite of venom to chill the burglar. "You only care about yourself, so you're by yourself. If you want my help then you'll turn yourself in."
Soft, static, laughter from the other end. "Nice try, Bird Boy, but jail isn't my style."
"And dead is?" Robin shot back.
"Merry Christmas, kid. Don't drink so much eggnog next time." A click. Then radio silence.
Robin stared at the radio in his palm for a long moment. Once again, doubts concerning Red X's integrity assaulted his suspicions. There was no way he could possibly have met Slade. What reason would Slade have for a common thief? A talented thief, Robin admitted, but still only one, selfish, uncommitted, smart-ass, thief who seemed more inclined to work alone than split job earnings with anyone, even Slade. X had intelligence on some level and Robin doubted the thief could have possibly done something so blatantly idiotic as to get Slade angry with him.
Robin closed the communicator and tossed it to the opposite side of the couch. He consoled his troubled thoughts with the theory X was probably just looking for attention, like the show-off he was. Settling back down to brood, the Boy Wonder took no notice of cloak shrouded figure standing in the hallway behind him. The shadow stepped back into the shadows and leaned back reflectively against the wall.
"Beast Boy did too make fudge," she murmured. "He made it after Robin went to sleep…That means he's close."
Raven stepped backward and melted into the shadows.