AUTHOR'S NOTE: I changed it again! This time more in a realistic setting. Just for you Robert JF!
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Sonic!
"Mr. Prower, you can come in, now." The psychiatrist said. I got up from the chair and entered her office. I sat down on the couch. "How are you today, Mr. Prower?" she asked me.
"Well, if I'm seeing a shrink, then obviously NOT WELL!" She looked at me for a second, scared that I had screamed at her. "I'm sorry… It's just that was a very stupid thing to ask."
"Well," she pulled out a pad of paper and pen, "let's get started. First, give me a brief summary of your angers."
I pulled out a cigarette. "You don't mind if I smoke, do you?"
"Well, I advise that you-" I interrupted her, by lighting it up anyway. I sucked in some ash, and then blew out the smoke. "Well, where to start? My father was killed and my mother was raped by that blue hedgehog, with the ring fetish, that moves at the speed of sound. Of course, he, a great celebrity, no believes he did commit that crime." I slammed my fist on the table, cracking the glass top. I heard her sigh, at my destructive reaction. Why is she mad…? The money she sucks out of me, she should be able to buy hundreds…
I breathed in some more on the cancer stick. "I follow him around so I can have that opportune moment to exact my revenge." I said, smoke flowing out. "And, what is with that whiny little bitch, Amy that follows him around? Sonic this! Sonic that! Damn it, does she not shut up. I want to cut her! JUST CUT HER!" I rubbed my temples, to clam down. "And she wants to marry him! Sonic is already married. He's just leading her on and she's going to get hurt and somehow it's going to be my fault!"
"And, why do you think it's your fault, Tails?"
"What is this? Are you hitting on me, now?"
"No, sir, this is a question that might help you heal."
I shook my head. "No, I'm just ranting there. Just got a little carried away, that's all."
"Okay, is there anyone else?"
"Hell, yeah!" I started to feel thirsty. "Do you have any beer?"
"No. I have water."
"That'll do." She got up from her chair and took a bottle of water from the small fridge. I held my hands out. "Here. Toss it." She did, and I got in. I extinguished the cigarette in the ashtray and opened the water. "Okay, "I took a drink, then, "Knuckles, what is with that guy? He's all for like protecting the master emerald and other anti-Christian crap. And, my god, he smokes way too much!" I lit up another cigarette.
"Do you not like people of another religion?" She tapped her pen on the pad.
"No, I am not getting in an argument like that." I took a drink of water and another puff. "There's also this trashy tramp named Rouge "the" Bat, and, son of a bitch, does she look like she has been on more hotel pillows than a chocolate mint!"
The psychiatrist stifled a laugh with her writing hand, and then cleared her throat.
I kept going. "The two hate each other, but they probably have raunchy anal butt sex all the time. They're like those rich, good-looking celebrities. A two-week relationship and… and they're the favorites."
"I see, I see."
"Shut up…"
"So, tell me about your work."
"Stop hitting on me!"
"No…," She sighed. I'm probably the hardest case she has ever had.
"I'm worse than the dude with multiple personalities, huh?"
She didn't answer, but she probably agreed.
"Well, my job sucks! I work much, much more than Sonic, but, he gets paid more! And don't get me started on that ass, Dr. Eggman. His damn arms hang down below his knees. I'm guessing that compensates for something else that's short, huh? Heh… it's probably easier for him to finger his asshole that way."
"Okay, enough on that."
I laughed, and took another drink of water. "I don't like the people at work. They're all great celebrities. I'm sure they need to get as much money, AS THEY CAN, HUH?" I hit the table and the glass split some more.
"Is there anyone at work you get along with?"
"There's this new guy, named Shadow."
"What do you think of Shadow?"
"What do I think of Shadow? He's an okay guy. Just way to egotistic. You can't be the ultimate life form and be like Sonic. No fucking way…"
"Mr. Prower, must you use that language?"
"I'm paying around $250 an hour, so YES!" I took a huge breath, and exhaled the smoke. "Oh, wait, this guy, Big. That's his name, Big. What the hell kind of name is that? Anyway, he's eighteen, but he still has a pet frog, named Froggy. How clever! He should really consider wearing a shirt, though. He just can't go shirt-less. Maybe his shirt should say something like, "I Beat Anorexia!" I hate them all…"
"So, you have a thing against the obese?"
"Nope, I hate just him. When I say all, I meant, them. The people I just spoke of. Except my poor mom and dad." I sat up on the couch. "But, the thing that infuriates me the most is his voice. Have you ever heard of "Of Mice and Men"? His voice is like Lenny." I then wring my hands around an invisible neck. "It just makes me, go nuts!"
The shrink checks her watch. "Oh, times up. See you again next week."
I put out the smoke. "Yeah, yeah." I got up and left the room. The door behind me closed and I heard a deep sigh of exasperation. I threw the water bottle at the window. It didn't break, so I threw a chair at it.
…And if you're good, I might make another chapter!
