THE RAILWAYS END—CHAPTER TEN
In which a door is opened
We find cracks in a great foundation
Blood is spilled
Rei disobeys
And a door is closed
A young man walked through the winding hallways of Dream's Palace. White and navy blue sneakers tread softly against the shiny marble floor and turned another corner, only to suddenly stop at the astonished sigh of the shoes' wearer.
Shinji Ikari sighed and shifted the box of scrolls to hold under his left arm so that he could scratch his head with his right hand. The gold bracelet shoved down his right wrist earlier slid down a little and he shook the arm to bring it back to its more comfortable position.
The day had started off strangely, with his discovery that the school uniforms he usually wore had vanished from his closet. Then a light knock at his door led to a blond member of the staff pushing herself in. Calling herself the Fashion Thing, she had given him the once over, laughed to herself and sprang upon him with a wide array of outfits that "would look just daaaaarrrrrlllliiiinnnnngggg" on him. Between stuffing him into Italian and French shirts, she had rapidly explained that His Darkness, the Monarch of the Sleeping Marshes had commanded her to fix his new servant up with a new wardrobe. So now, here he stood in a shirt designed by a Tuscan fashion genius who was pushed from his apartment balcony by a jilted lover, and a pair of black Dockers, lost while carrying a load of scrolls for Lucian from storage to a new room in the library newly built by Mervyn.
Over the short time he had lived in the Palace, Shinji had begun to learn how to navigate the massive place. He still often needed to ask someone for help, but it never seemed to be much of an annoyance to anyone else. One creature—a particularly large tarantula that carried a blue duck on its back—made a chuckling noise and mumbled something like, "Just like my first days…"
The problem—according to Mervyn, loudly proclaiming it to anyone who would listen—was that the Palace was subject to the whims of Daniel at all times, and that he didn't give a rat's ass about what other people thought about his building habits. So the staff would go about their duties as normal, paying little or no attention to the Dream King's alterations.
Shinji looked from one corridor to the other, trying to decide which one could bring him back into the upper levels of the palace. It was then that he remembered something that he had watched Asuka do when she was trying to choose an ice-cream flavor.
"Eenie meanie minee moe…"
He ended with the left hall, and he walked down that way half hoping that if this was the wrong path, Lucian or someone would be able to find him again.
The hall he walked in was white, like much of the palace. It was lit by torches that were in fewer numbers compared to the upper levels, causing even more shadows to be thrown by just about everything; it motivated him to hasten his passage through the hall.
A sigh of relief escaped him as he saw a large pair of doors at the end of the hallway. On the right door was a gold panel inscribed with the words "Upstairs" on them. He picked up his speed a little, only to slow down and eventually come to a stop when he saw it.
The door was average; an average doorknob, average hinges. No ornate gold knobs or bars. No exquisitely carved bordering—indeed, the bordering was a plain, flat, cheap wood.
An ordinary door, among all the grandeur and august splendor, struck Shinji. Even the door to his apartment was more grandiose.
He could not help his curiosity, which had suddenly risen from the grave dug and filled by his fear and insecurities. His hand reached forward and grasped the knob.
A turn and a gentle push brought only darkness at first, but as his eyes adjusted to the light, he could see that he had entered a hallway, of the kind that coiled within medium sized houses. There were a few other doors; a mirror that hung above a small table, otherwise the hall was bare.
The door he had entered through was against one of the hall's sides, far from what seemed to be the center of the entire thing: a single, unremarkable door at the end of the hallway.
"Mama!"
As he was beginning to turn back to the hallway of the Dream Castle, Shinji froze when that voice rang out.
Now, though the more uncomfortable processes of female maturity are well known, another factor that has not gained any fame is that girl's voices do not age as they become a woman.
Thus, Shinji could recognize that voice anywhere, in any tone. It had been drummed into his brain, as if inserted by all the various forms of physical assault performed upon him.
He was almost quivering as he turned about, half-expecting a flying kick that would send him through the wall.
"Mama! I made it! I'm a pilot!"
His mouth hung open; instead of the one-person blitzkrieg, he saw a little girl rushing down the hallway, sky blue eyes full of excitement.
"Mama! I'm special! Mama!"
She saw him, but didn't stop to investigate as she rushed to her destination. He followed that fiery hair as it continued its path, astonished at how the small Asuka Langely Souhryu ran to…her mother…
A door was slammed open, in the manner that all small children treat things in the path to their mothers.
"Mama…"
At first, there was silence. Then, a small but unearthly wail rose from the direction that Asuka was rushing toward.
Shinji was shaking now, and he gripped the doorknob behind him, threw the entrance open, and fled into the castle's basement. He ran all the way up the stairs and slammed the heavy oak doors behind him, and then he leaned against the wood and began breathing hard. The boy shifted the box of scrolls as he slid down to a seat on the floor.
He had not heard the door to the German girl's nightmare slam shut after him.
The reason why secret societies cannot truly rule the world is because it is impossible for everyone in such a group to get along. There may be a strong sense of unity at first, but eventually rivalries will begin and fights will break out as a member or faction vies for power.
It had been difficult enough for Kiel Lorenz to get his group of industrialists and politicians together. One was an Arab and another was Jewish. A veteran of the Irish Republican Army and a former British state secretary refused to meet face to face. There were a variety of nationalities and religions within SEELE—and only the promise of eternal life kept the organization together.
Then, SEELE-05 had fallen out of the sky over the country he had helped destroy. It was a terrible blow—a reminder that no matter what weapons they had at their disposal, the members of SEELE were all mortal men. When they had gathered as monoliths the day after SEELE-05's death, the solemnity soon fell away.
"As a fellow Englishman, I know that Number Five would want me to take over his resources and responsibilities as a member of this Committee. Number Five…"
"Not a chance in hell, Nine!" the Irishman hissed, "I will not stand for the concentration of power into the hands of a goddamn Brit! If this is done, I shall withdraw my support from this Committee!!"
"You cannot do that, Seven! We have agreed!" roared a Russian voice.
Hidden from the others, Kiel rubbed his temples as he listened to the arguments. With Five's death, the internal fighting had started to gain the power that the racist had left in vacuum.
He checked his watch. There was a meeting with Ikari in two hours. They simply had to present a united front…
Or the foundation on which SEELE had built its empire would crumble into sand.
And Asuka woke up.
She tossed the blanket aside, sat up and rubbed her eyes. After a quick glance around the room, she settled on a choice of clothing and made her way to the door.
Shinji's Lovely Suite
Asuka stared blankly at those words before turning to enter the bathroom.
Shower finished, she then walked to the kitchen, where Misato stared at a glass of water she held in her hand.
"How is it?" asked the German girl as she opened the fridge and pulled out the orange juice. She heard nothing.
"Misato?"
"Huh?" the Major murmured, blinking and turning to look at the younger girl. The glass of water slipped out of her hands and bounced off the table before smashing onto the linoleum.
The clock ticked. One minute passed…two…three…
The two simply stared at the shattered glass for that time. Misato then placed her hand shakily on the table and began to get up.
"Oh…uh…I'll…"
Asuka said nothing but stared. Misato's foot met the ground—and a piece of glass sank itself into her big toe.
"…fuck…" The curse was so low, that Asuka could barely hear it.
The younger lady moved carefully, guiding Misato past the other shards lying in wait on the floor. They went into the bathroom, where the major quietly sat while Asuka began to carefully pull out the glass shrapnel. Tossing the little bloodied thing into the wastebasket, Asuka began to wipe off the toe.
"Did you sleep well?" asked the major.
"Yeah, I saw…" Asuka stopped and then whispered, "Yeah, I slept fine,"
There was silence for a few moments.
"Synch test today…"
"Okay," the Second Child sighed.
And Rei woke up.
Crimson eyes blinked before she pushed herself up out of the bed, carelessly kicking aside the sheets. She began to walk toward her bathroom…but stopped before her dresser.
The smell of burnt flesh…
The broken glasses were very light, but now seemed to have taken on the weight of her empty building. It was as if all the history of NERV seemed to pour its girth into them…
Or, if not its history, then its evil?
No. That wasn't right. NERV was a good thing, led by good…people…
She sank to her knees as something came to her. It was wrong. All of it. The countless tests; the battles; the Dummy Plug. Wrong, everything was wrong.
It was all wrong—for if things were correct, why would Ikari be dead?
She did not see or hear the fat, squat, naked woman who resembled a putrid corpse. But the First Child could hear the voice of Despair, as if it were very far away.
And she shivered.
He cannot make you feel better; you mean nothing.
The Commander…
Hehhehheh…what of him? He is nothing.
He is…
He is mortal; just like you. Open your eyes…
No…this is not right. I must speak…
He let the boy die…
He did not. It is…
He let the boy die. You believe he is powerful? Why does his son die, then?
The Commander had nothing to do with it!
How many times has he told you that man would suffer no longer? That your purpose would help everyone?
And you believed him…hraha…hrahaHAHAHAHA!
Despair laughed and lashed forward with her hook, snaring and slightly ripping Rei's heart.
For a moment, Rei could barely see. The world became blurry before it suddenly cleared…and she felt something run down her cheek.
"But he is alive…" Rei whispered, "Or is he gone…and I saw a dream?"
She held up the glasses in her hand then…
"Why?" she whispered, before a demonic fire lit in her eyes; a fire lit by confusion and pain and fear.
"Why did you let him die?"
The glasses flew. They shattered against the wall, sending the glass cascading down to the filthy floor. The empty frames bounced twice before lying in a twisted pile next to her bed.
Blood red carpet was everywhere, with circular black booths built in groups of four littered around the vast floor. In the center of each group were exotic ferns, plucked from a forest near the Necropolis Litharge.
Lighting was provided by black chandeliers, which threw their light out through holes in a pan that hung off the central rod of the fixtures.
A long, sweeping bar dominated the back of the place, with black stools perched in front of it. A long mirror covered the bar's wall, almost completely covered with shelves meant to carry drinks of all kinds, especially alcohol.
At the front of the club was an ovular stage that was emerging out of the wall. The wall itself was covered with a massive tablet depicting a star that seemed to actually be glowing, while the checkerboard stage was dominated by a single black grand piano.
Club New Star was going to open the next day and the man who called himself Luke had made a decision.
"We need another act, Merz," he declared to the woman who was stacking bottles of liquor on the cabinet behind the bar, "I feel no great need to make myself the sole source of entertainment here."
"Mlick noo?"
"Like who? I don't know! Do I have to…?"
Luke stopped to observe the sudden entrance of a huge red-haired man carrying a hobo stick over his left shoulder. His face bore light stubble and a knowing smile.
The new man's gold eyes glinted mischievously as he made his way to the astonished two who were at the bar.
Luke suddenly grinned, stood up, and shook the giant's hand.
"Well, well…who'd think that you of all people would walk into my club? How the hell are you, my friend?"
"Fine, just fine," the man answered in an Irish accent, "I thought I might drop in to see what new trouble you're stirring up…eh, 'Luke'?"
Luke gave a mock look of shock and hurt. He placed a hand delicately on his chest.
"Why, sir; do you really think that one such as I have nothing better to do than tease NERV's wrath by setting up shop right under their noses?"
The giant nodded sagely.
"Well, you got one on me. I thought I might as well have some fun while all this shit is going down; do you have a problem with that?"
"Oh no, sir; but there is something I wanted to ask you," said the man who called himself Sherman as he put a massive arm around Luke's shoulder, "I thought I heard something about an 'act'?"
Dream of the Endless—dressed in a white mixture of robes and tighter garments that were lined with gold leaves, rubies, and emeralds—stared down at his fidgeting servant with blank, black eyes.
"Shinji, you have not spoken yet…"
The former Third Child jumped a little, and then gulped.
"Uh…forgive m-me, lord; b-but I wanted to ask you something,"
"Do you?" Dream leaned back and brought his fingers together in a double-fist, "What do you ask then, little one?"
"My lord; I…I went into a dream this morning. It was Asuka's dream,"
Shinji told the pale king the whole story, and when he was finished Daniel unfolded his hands and perched them on the armrests of his throne.
"I see…and your question?"
Shinji licked his lips nervously before speaking, "I know she's had it before; why are you constantly giving her this nightmare?"
"I don't,"
Seeing the confusion in the boy's eyes, Dream rose from his throne and descended to him.
"You see, Shinji…Asuka first received the dream at an early age, not long after her mother's body ended its existence. When the time came to move on, she refused to let go of the nightmare, chaining it to her ambition and her self-loathing.
"It is a sad thing for a child to allow itself only one dream, and a nightmare is the worst thing to keep and hold close. A nightmare flourishes where dreams would flee; it feeds on fear and self hatred. It is a parasite that young Asuka cultivates as she moves herself in life with only this nightmare in mind. She blames herself for her mother's death, and the only hope she can see for herself is to become a great pilot.
"The dream only hurts her, and someday it could destroy her, unless someone stops it."
Shinji's mouth hung open at this explanation.
"W-well, why don't you stop it?!"
"I would do so, Shinji, if she would let me," said the Dream King quietly, "But she refuses to let go of the nightmare; she sees it as a…fuel, if you will…a fuel that drives her into her present state.
"She can let go, young Shinji; but she cannot do it alone."
Between king and servant, there was a thoughtful silence for a few moments.
"I see," Shinji said softly before bowing, "Thank you, lord,"
The former Third Child then turned around and left the Throne Room.
And Dream gave a little smile…
It was unusual to have synch tests without Shinji's presence. Every so often one of the technicians would refer to Touji as "Shinji" and there would be a tense silence afterwards, during which scores would drop.
Touji had changed and left quickly to visit his sister, leaving the other two pilots alone on their side of the locker-room.
At first, there was quiet as they pulled themselves out of their plug-suits, but then Rei spoke.
"Pilot Souhryu?"
"Yeah, First?" replied Asuka, with no bite in her words.
"I wish…to speak with you about the incident at the park,"
Asuka huffed, "Yeah, well I fuckin' don't,"
Unperturbed, Rei pressed on, "You and I saw Ikari…or what looked like Ikari…"
"Goddammit, shut the hell up, Rei!" Asuka slammed her locker shut, only to open it again when she remembered she only had on her bra.
"I don't want to hear about it," she hissed as she began to dress more aggressively, "he's dead, that's it. He's dead and I don't have to wake his ass up in the morning, don't have to walk to school with him, don't have to…to…"Asuka bit her lip and drew blood, "…dance with him…"
The red-head abruptly sat down on the bench that sat in the middle of the aisle and placed her hands over her eyes.
"I'm not going to cry…I will not fucking cry in front of you…"
Rei stared at the girl for a moment, and then reached into her locker. Asuka heard a rustling sound before Rei apparently found what she was looking for. The redhead looked out through her fingers to see a pale hand grasping a laminated card.
It was Shinji's I.D. card.
Asuka's hands drifted slowly from her face and settled onto her knees. Then, tentatively—as if the object might vanish if she was too quick—she reached out and gently took it from the First Child's hand.
"Where…how…"
"Major Katsuragi summoned me to help her when Commander Ikari ordered Ikari-kun's possessions turned over to him. At one point she became emotional and left the room. I found this in his wallet and…I removed it," the albino frowned, "I…did not know…why,"
Asuka suddenly stood up and…
Rei's eyes widened to a bizarre size as the German girl hugged her. Not only was this the first time she had encountered such a display of emotion, but to receive the embrace from the Second Child…
"Thank you, Rei," whispered Asuka, "thank you so much,"
Shinji Ikari, the former pilot of Eva Unit-01, found himself standing before the door that led into Asuka's nightmare. The words of his master echoed in his mind.
She can let go, young Shinji; but she cannot do it alone.
On Earth, he had thought of himself as a coward, as useless, despite Misato's assertions to the contrary. Many times he questioned whether he was fighting just to receive her support, for her affection.
More questions and doubt rose in his mind. Should he mind his business? Stay away? Hide in the vast palace from what he thought was right?
He took a breath and opened the door…
Luke faded into the shadows as he was replaced in the spotlight by Sherman, who sat in front of the piano on a stool, a guitar hanging from straps around his enormous neck.
"Thank you, folks; I'm new in town and it's nice to see friendly faces in a strange world.
"My first number is about the sudden empty places in our life. You know them: these days, they seem to be popping up everywhere these days…"
Shirts in the closet,
Shoes in the hall
Mama's in the kitchen,
baby and all
Everything is everything
Everything is everything
But you're missing
Coffee cups on the counter,
jackets on the chair
Papers on the doorstep,
but you're not there
Everything is everything
Everything is everything
But you're missing
Pictures on the nightstand,
TV's on in the den
Your house is waiting,
your house is waiting
For you to walk in
for you to walk in
But you're missing,
you're missing
You're missing, when I shut out the lights
You're missing, when I close my eyes
You're missing, when I see the sun rise
You're missing
Children are asking if it's alright
Will you be in our arms tonight?
Morning is morning,
the evening falls I got too much room in my bed,
too many phone calls
How's everything, everything?
Everything, everything
You're missing,
you're missing
God's drifting in Heaven,
devil's in the mailbox
I got dust on my shoes, nothing but teardrops…