A Meaningless Smile
"Hello." He says.
I smile.
That's all I ever do. Smile.
Inside I scream at him to look at me. Really look at me.
But he doesn't.
So I smile.
He.
Who is he?
It doesn't really matter.
He is like everyone else.
But still I give him a chance.
Just in case.
He says something.
I laugh.
But only on the outside.
On the inside I cry.
Can't he tell that I'm not really laughing?
Is there something wrong with his sight?
Every morning I wake up.
I get dressed.
And I put on my face.
I come downstairs.
I greet everyone.
And I smile.
Once upon a time,
My smile was special.
It had depth.
But now my smile is a mask.
Beautiful, but meaningless.
I wonder why no one notices.
I read a lot.
Sometimes my books begin with once upon a time.
And end with happily ever after.
These books make me sad.
I wonder if the people in these books are forced to smile.
Just like me.
Even though they make me sad, I'm addicted to them.
I guess I can relate to them.
I still hope there is a happily ever after for me one day.
Everyday I think that one day someone will look at me.
And they will know me.
And I will know them.
They won't say anything.
Sometimes words just don't work.
We would just know each other in silence.
And then I wouldn't have to smile anymore.
I would be freed from this curse.
Then maybe I could be happy.
My mum says I live in a dream world.
One that will never come true.
Maybe she is right.
But maybe she is wrong.
I am not willing to give up yet.
So I keep waking up everyday.
And I smile.