The Girl All The Dead Guys Haunt, a mediator fanfic

This is a rewrite of the Bowling For Soup song "The Girl All the Bad Guys Want"

From Paul's POV

Disclaimer: I must give credit where credit is due. The Mediator belongs to Meg Cabot and The Girl All the Bad Guy's Want belongs to Bowling For Soup

"The Girl All the Dead Guys Haunt"

3 o'clock, after school and I'm waiting
To give a lesson to the girl who is perfect for me.
Her name is Suze and she's a shifter, who is sixteen.
I thought I'd win her but its more complex than it seems.

And when she talks
It's so fast I can not grasp a thing.
She doesn't notice me!

'Cause she's guiding lost souls,
Dreaming about dead guys,
Ogling hot ranchers
With dazzling emerald eyes.

Why won't she date me?
I am such a hottiee.
Why would she choose Jesse?
And not someone alive like me?
I'm failing miserably,
Trying to get the girl all the dead guys haunt.
She's the girl all the dead guys haunt!

When I met her, her butt, it looked gigantic
Because of the pleated khaki uniform that she wore
She wouldn't date me cause she thinks that I'm satanic
So I used blackmail to become her shifting mentor

And when she talks
It's so fast I can not grasp a thing.
She doesn't notice me!

Cause she's guiding lost souls,
dreaming about dead guys,
ogling hot ranchers
with dazzling emerald eyes.

She likes them when their lifeless
and can speak Spanish.
Suze loves another man.
So much for my master plan.

There she goes again
As she walks by, I just can't help but stare
She's the hottest thing ever created.
She's the girl that I plan to mate with!

Now I'm conning lost souls
Enslaving all the dead guys
Loathing dead ranchers
Dreaming about emerald eyes
I'm far from being lifeless
And I can't speak Spanish
All I've got's a BMW...W...W

Why won't she date me?
I am such a hottie.
Why would she choose Jesse?
And not someone alive like me?
I'm failing miserably,
Trying to get the girl all the dead guys haunt.