Padme shut her eyes tightly; however, she could not force her mind to stop spinning. She was too wound up to allow herself to relax. Her family was safe yet still broken beyond her repair.
The bed was too comfortable but her comfort had been found in Anakin's arms in sleep. Through the years, Padme had never felt comfortable sleeping on her own. It was not a physical relationship she missed but the knowledge of Anakin sleeping beside her, keeping her safe and warm in his embrace.
Her thoughts dwelled on the birth of her children; she had not allowed herself to hold Leia more then once. The connection to both her twins was far too strong. If she had, she could not let her go.
She had spent weeks after the separation just holding Luke to her, in case someone attempted to take him away from her. It had never happened but the fear had never left her. Even now.
The irrational mother's fear lived within Padme, something that the cool-headed senator mocked.
Luke always slept fitfully and heavily yet the one solitary night she had observed her daughter sleep, she had seen Leia as an attentive, light sleeper, always alert to what was going on around her. As Anakin had slept when he was calm. His Jedi alertness had caused great interest in Padme as she watched him sleep. If she even moved an inch, he would stir.
The thought brought a smile to her face. Even though she had never felt particularly close to Anakin after the divorce, she held the gentle, brave young man who had won her heart. Now she had the deep, strong, powerful Jedi master to hold in her heart.
She had gotten used to her single life, she had dated a little on the insistence of her family yet Anakin had remained first in her heart.
She didn't know how to approach the man who had shared so much of her life. Their courtship had been a whirlwind and they had found they were not ready to be married. They had both changed, dramatically and now they had two children. The galaxy was at war and her daughter was a complete stranger.
Padme suddenly wished she was still inside the senate. The petty squabbling and the galaxy affairs that rested on men's shoulders seemed far to easy rather then facing Anakin, Luke and Leia.
Her won joy was that Leia and Luke had formed a bond. The twins were rarely apart, Luke had never responded to anyone as completely as he had to Leia. It was heart warming.
The love she had shared with Anakin had created two wonderful children, she saw Anakin's defiance and loyalty in Leia and her own gentleness but Anakin's earnestness.
The threat now was Palpatine. She couldn't hide forever. Anakin and Leia would have to return to coruscant to protect their fellow Jedi and Padme was now on the hitlist as well Luke.
Despite herself she dug into her top drawer and retrieved the old holopicture and stared at it. Anakin sat on the grass lawn of her home and Padme had locked her arms around his neck, her head rested on his shoulder.
She couldn't imagine how the two people in the picture could be her and Anakin now.
It was far too late.
And for the first time in sixteen years she wished she could turn back the clock.