Dear Mr. Weed,
Hello how are you today? I'm sorry that I destroyed your brand new convertible. I had to fart. Oh dang you weren't suppose to find out till tomorrow. Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh, heh. Oh yeah anyway, umm can I have a raise. I've been putting beats on Joe again at a drinking contest and I sorta lost. And Lois wants to know where all the money went and wow I'm not stupid enough to tell her that. Or am I. Anyway just think about it and hey why don't you came over for dinner. Then you might choke on a dinner roll.
Thanks again,
Peter Griffin
P.S. I didn't blow up your car I swear. The flame lit itself and the fart was uncontrollable. I've got third degree burns to prove it. Ha ha.