Thhhhhanks for your reviews guys, sorry this took so long. Thing's have been a little crazy lately! Please review, cause you guys rock!!! And you would make my world rock by reviewing, cause now I face another 20 hour drive back home to PA, only to pack my crap and drive allllllll the way back here, to Texas again. I dunno how many of you have ever driven by yourself for 20 some hours, its nuts. But its something that everyone should do at least once. I mean how often do you get to say hey I drove cross country. Anyway, please reviewwwwwwwwwwwww, cause I gave ya'll a double whammy update. :o)

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"Do you miss me?"

"So much that I can't sleep at night."

-Captain Corelli's Mandolin.

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"When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake, and then it subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots are become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Love itself is what is left over, when being in love has burned away."

-Captain Corelli's Mandolin.

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Julie Cooper sat in the hospital waiting room biting on the edge of her perfectly manicured thumbnail. She looked down at the stone white marble floor before she glanced up at the clock again. Caleb was sitting in with her now. He had known, Sandy knew, Seth and Ryan knew, hell even Jimmy had known about Kirsten's cancer. How the hell could she not? And the worst part was…. Was she actually that naïve to not pay attention? Was she truly that ignorant that she couldn't realize something was wrong with Kirsten?

Kirsten looked sick, she looked like she wasn't feeling well. And Julie was too stuck up in her own world to notice.

The elevator opened and a worried Sandy rushed in, Seth and Ryan in tow. Julie rose and he rushed over to her which she promptly pushed him into a chair, knocking him on his ass in the seat.

"YOU couldn't tell me she was sick?" She spoke venomously, her steel blue eyes met those of a worried Sandy Cohen's.

He looked bewildered. Seth held Ryan back, his arm grasping onto his shirt as Ryan looked at Seth confused. Seth merely shook his head and pulled him into Kirsten's room. His mother one was to gamble with when she was mad, but Julie Cooper-Nichol? Forget it.

"She didn't want anyone to know." Sandy regained his voice and rubbed his arm where it had hit off the chair.

"Didn't want anyone to know? Well, whether she didn't want me to know as a friend, Sandy, I'm her boss, I have a RIGHT to know. God, even Jimmy knows…." She trailed off and moved away from the chair allowing Sandy to stand.

"Technically Julie…." He started, but she gave him a look that shut him up. 'Whatever,' he thought to himself, not wanting to argue while casting a longing glance to her door, anxious to see his wife. He was surprised to see that Julie had tears in her eyes when she turned back to him.

He looked somberly at the floor and ran a hand through his hair, actually feeling compassion for Julie.

"Look," she started her voice breaking and she bit her bottom lip, her piercing blue eyes welling with unshed tears. "I know we haven't always seen eye to eye Sandy, and I know I've been a bitch. But Kirsten is my friend and she may be the only friend I have. The only true friend. I won't say anything to anyone, and when I go back to work I'm going to be doing damage control. Okay? So don't worry about this getting out from me."

Sandy nodded his head and reached for her, pulling her close as she sniffled. "Thanks Julie," he whispered. She nodded against him, pulling back and ran a finger underneath her eyes, clearing away the tears and makeup before turning to go. "Tell Cal I'll see him at home," she called as the elevator doors opened.

Sandy waved as he turned to head to his wife's room hearing a loud crash. He watched as Ryan and Seth tossed Caleb out of the room and the crash he had heard was Kirsten's retaliation, as much as she could from the bed. Knowing she couldn't throw him out herself, she threw the bedpan, and apparently it had bounced off his back.

Sandy looked at Caleb's flushed face and peeked into the room where she was staring out the window angrily and Seth and Ryan were panting, looking irritated.

"Good day Sanford," he called back lightly as he straightened his suit.

Sandy pulled the door shut, finally stumbling into the room and glanced around. Seth was looking at him expectantly and Ryan had moved towards Kirsten, sitting down next to her.

"Anyone want to even try to clue me in as to what that was all about?" He asked as he picked up the bedpan and sat back on the tray table.

Both Ryan and Seth looked at her, knowing they had to follow her lead, and she shook her head. "Nothing."

Sandy looked at them. They shrugged.

"The same nothing that Ryan threw out of the room, and that has you shaken up?"

"Hey dad, don't forget me, I tossed him too!" Seth flexed, getting a smile from his mother and Ryan.

Sandy glared at his dark headed, wide-eyed son.

She sighed and turned to him. "I want to go home. Please? I'm fine. Get me checked out of here, I'm tired of hospitals. I just want to go home." She looked and felt exhausted.

He looked at her dumbfounded, and was about to object, but he caught her tired glare he turned on his heel and did what she asked.

Her boy's stared at her questionably.

"I'm okay, guys the doctor said I just overdid it today that's all." She knew that answer was a lie. In truth, she wasn't okay, it was spreading, getting worse, and if she didn't do something about it soon, then she could very well not live long at all.

Her answer however seemed to calm them.

"What about Grampa?" Seth's voice sounded like a young child, rather than a teenager.

Ryan's blue eyes snapped up from the sheet that he had been looking at, to meet hers.

"Don't worry about it. He's just dealing…" She trailed off.

"Did Grampa ever call me that?" Seth's eyes were worried and there was an odd hush that came over the room.

She motioned for him to come over and sit down on the opposite side of her. "No sweetie, of course he didn't." Seth grabbed her hand and she smiled at him. But Seth didn't know whether to believe her. After all he was his father's child too.

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Sandy glanced over at his sleeping wife. Seth was curled up in the backseat taking up most of it sleeping and would Ryan look at Sandy before looking away when his eyes met his blue eyed son's in the review mirror.

Pulling up in front of the mansion Ryan hit Seth on the shoulder before climbing out of the car, startling him awake and he glanced about warily, for he had been dreaming. Sandy opened the door for him, counter acting his bewildered state by running a hand through the startled teenagers' unruly hair and squeezing his shoulder gently,

"We're home son," his deep voice rumbled softly.

Seth gave him a sleepy smile at the reassurance of touch from his father before climbing out and heading to the house. Somehow his dad always knew when he had been dreaming and startled awake, on occasion, even now Sandy would slip into his room and run a hand through his unruly hair if he had been having a dream, somehow his father always knew when he needed comforted. And whether Seth spoke it aloud or not, he was grateful every time he did.

Walking over to her side of the car he awoke her.

"Honey we're here," his low voice rumbled. It had taken longer than expected to check her out of the hospital and the doctor had told him a few concerning things that he would take up in a later conversation.

"Kirsten? C'mon babe," he whispered and put his arms around her, scooping her up and carrying her into their bedroom. She moaned against him, wrapping her arms around his neck before he placed her gently on their bed. He felt her forehead and it was cool so he knew it was total exhaustion this time and not a fever.

He went into the bathroom and ran water over his face and brushed his teeth. When he came out she was changing her clothes.

She said nothing to him and crawled into bed and faced him. As he eased in beside her he could tell she was struggling to fight from crying.

He took her hand and pulled her towards him, "What's wrong babe? Hmm?" His voice was low and soothing.

She smirked before she reached up and touched his face. "Why can't my father see in you what I do?"

'Ahh, so it was about her father.'

"I mean Sandy, why can't he see that you're a good man? Why? Everyone else can see it. People at the office can see it. Why does everything that goes wrong with me always get blamed back on you?"

She could feel him shrug. "I don't know honey. What did he say that upset you so?"

That brought on a new set of tears that managed to fall and her chin trembled dangerously. He ran the back of his hand tenderly against her cheek, urging her to continue. "He said that I looked like my mother in that hospital bed and he didn't understand how I could have your bastard child instead of saving my own life. He said I should worry about myself and not about you and this baby. And then of course Seth and Ryan overheard…." She sighed and she cuddled closer to him, her rounded belly pressing against his.

Sandy frowned. It was one thing to say that in front of him, he could take it and dish out a comment not paying any mind to the old man. It was another to say it in front of his wife and son's.

Before he could say anything else he could feel movement by his stomach and he knew his daughter was saying hello. He could feel Kirsten smile against his shoulder and he reached down to her stomach, moving his hand about to feel his daughter's kicks. They were quite forceful at first and then she could recognize whose hand it was they turned into soft flutters. Sandy smiled as they died down into small flutters and allowed for him to continue conversation.

"Ignore your dad. Piss on him for all I care. It doesn't matter what I do for Caleb, no matter how much I save his ass, honey. To him, you always messed up your life by marrying me. He's a businessman, not a family man, he doesn't understand what we have, and he never could, especially with Julie. He can only see deals, the deal in front of him right now is your life, or our child's life. There can be no in-between for him."

She knew he was right. There was nothing she could do for her dad, and he would just have to accept her decision like the rest of the family had. Yes it was hard, but they all respected her for it, even though it was tearing them apart on the inside. She moved her head so that it lay over his heart. "I don't want to die, Sandy," her open admission was soft, and surreal. He didn't expect it and didn't know what to say afterwards. He simply pulled her close and kissed her forehead, closing his eyes. There was a soft silence that filled the room, but it held hope.

"I know baby. And I can't lose you…I don't know what I would do…I don't want to find out," he trailed off, his words lingering as echoes in her brain.

She nodded and her own hand went down to her stomach as the baby kicked again. It was such a sore subject for both of them.

"I'm scared Kirsten," he whispered in the darkness.

She stiffened slightly against him, the baby feeling her rigid state responded with a well-rounded thump against her. She leaned up to look at him. "Me too," she whispered back. "But this is what I want. You, the baby, our family…."

He kissed her deeply, trying to silence his own fear and calm hers as well.

"I want to go back to work…And I'm thinking of getting treatment as long as it doesn't harm the baby," she whispered against him.

She cut him off before he could speak. "I know that woman have gone though it and nothing has happened, but there is always a chance Sandy. I'm not willing to risk that chance just yet…."

He was going to argue but decided against it. He didn't need to sound like her father, he needed to sound like her husband.

"I'll be right here with you…"

She smiled gratefully at him.

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Julie sat awake in her bedroom of the gigantic mansion that sat upon the hill. Or as Marissa would call it, "The house on haunted hill." She wondered if her own daughter knew about Kirsten having cancer? Knowing her she probably did and if Julie approached her about it she would most likely get a roll of her green eyes and a nod of the head. "Duh Mom," and that would be the end of the conversation. She knew Kirsten didn't have that with Seth, because Seth liked his mother. But from what little Marissa had told her, she didn't know she was sick either.

When Caleb walked through the door of their bedroom she could see something was wrong. He was never one to hold his dislike for whatever was bothering him in so he let off a rant and played out the scene that was said at the hospital leaving Julie speechless.

"You said what to her?"

"I simply told her she shouldn't throw her life away for his child."

Again, Julie stared at the man she had married for money and shook her head in disbelief. "You really are a bastard, you know that?"

Now it was Caleb's turn to look over in shock.

"I really think you need to get over the issue you have with Sandy. They've been married for almost twenty years Cal. He's a good man. Your daughter is sick and the only thing you can think of is your hatred for her husband? Even though he saved your ass a few times? Get out," she said disgustedly.

He stared at her and she raised arched a graceful eyebrow and pointed to the door. "Seriously. Out. Go. There are twenty odd some bedroom's in this house, I don't want to look at you tonight."

He shrugged his shoulders and smirked. Julie Cooper-Nichol, suddenly has grown a heart.

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It was dark in her bedroom but she couldn't sleep and from the rustles next to her, neither could he. She knew what her father said upset him. It always had and it would go into a part of his sub-conscious to where his demons were. And if he screwed up that comment would come out, along with the ones his mother had yelled at him so long ago. And any failures he ever had in his life were there too, anything that had been said negative about him was there.

But he managed to hide it so well.

Right now she knew that he was thinking about it and that if he let his demons dance in his head and eat at him some more that he might actually think he was causing her pain, and eventually her death.

"Sandy?" her voice was soft.

"Hmm?"

"Do you remember when we were at my Dad's for that gala? And he said I was only dating you to piss him off?"

Sandy grimaced, how could he forget that. "Then you told me basically to pull my head out of my ass or else we were done?"

She nodded in the dark and reached for his hand. "That would be it."

He smiled at the memory, "Where I kept putting my coat around you because the beach was freezing."

She grinned. "That incredible night in my dad's pool house…."

"And everyone was looking for us and we had to be quiet? Which was hard to do!"

She chuckled as she agreed with him, tightening the grip upon his hand, "Definitely hard to do."

"I remember."

How could he forget? They made love for hours and not paying any attention to anyone, even when the doors were tugged upon. Afterwards he had opened up to her, talking about his past and she got insight to why he was so guarded, and so defensive sometimes. Sometimes he swore he sounded like a broken record his stories were repeated but with different scenarios.

The abuse and then when his father ran out on him, even though his father hit him, he was still his father and the he tried saying the good times outweighed the bad. But they hadn't and then his mother wasn't there, and when she was he was required to do this or do that and nothing was ever good enough.

So he left.

The whole time he shared his heart with her she just listened and placed a soft kiss somewhere upon him when his past caught up with him and he let her see just how much he had been hurt.

That was the night she told him she wanted to marry him. And her promise that she would never leave him.

He was about to open his mouth and speak but he noticed her eyes were closed and her breathing had evened out, she managed to fall asleep while he was daydreaming of the past. He pressed a kiss into her forehead. "I love you honey," he whispered and tucked the blankets up around her before placing a hand on her stomach, smiling to himself.

He heard her sigh softly as she moved closer against him, the baby fluttering underneath his touch. He smiled again as he felt her movements beneath his hand.

He closed his eyes and sent a small prayer up to God. He wasn't exactly a religious man, but he would take all the help he could get right now.

'Please God, let her be okay. Let them both be okay….'

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