I had different plans for the way things led up to this.. but I've just had my heart completely broken, so what the hell let's skip ahead and fill in the missing gaps that I've left behind in another chapter!

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The bus squealed as it came to a halt beside the street. If the doors hadn't opened when they did, I thought Ponyboy would have just walked straight through them, he was so angry.

I wasn't meant to get off at this bus stop, and neither was Ponyboy. We were at least 10 blocks away from where we were meant to get off. I just had to open my big mouth didn't I and get Ponyboy angry!

You see… I was starting to regret our relationship. Nobody knows about us yet, though we've been I guess sort of together for a whole 4 days. Ever since I got out of the hospital. But yesterday me and Dal went to the movies and we were the only ones there except these two guys. I guess they thought they were alone or thought that we thought we were alone, 'cause they were making out quite heavily. Dally began cussing and saying how wrong and sick it was. I thought he was gonna go cause the two guys trouble when he tightened his fists so hard his knuckles turned white. But I yawned and said I was tired and that we should just go. Dally luckily didn't beat 'em up or anything. But not without yelling out really rough things to 'em, that sent their faces white. It sent my face white too, and my hands shook furiously the whole walk home.

Me and Pony.. I loved what we have, but I didn't want him or me to get hurt by people who just didn't or refused understand. My parents hate me enough as it is, do I really need it any worse if they found out I liked a boy!

Ponyboy couldn't seem to understand my reasons though and was so angry. He couldn't even stand being beside me the rest of the bus ride home.

But did he care at all how hard it was raining outside? No. Probably just wanted to walk the rest of the way home in the rain to spite me. So then I would feel terribly guilty and especially if he caught pneumonia. It was that thought of him getting sick, all because of me, that tugged at my heart and I had to chase after him.

"Pony, wait!" I called, running after him as I jumped off the bus, trying to catch up to his speed walking.

God, he was only wearing jeans and a sleeveless blue shirt. He should have listened to Darry and put on a jacket. But the dark clouds covering over us hadn't looked so dark then. Well now though, they blocked out the sky turning it into an early night. Though my clothes weren't that much better than his, just the usual, but at least I had an umbrella.

"Pony, come on!" I yelled again, this time catching up to him.

He said nothing and tried to walk faster.

I grabbed his arm and he tried to shrug me off, but I gripped tighter around it.

"Stop!" I yelled.

The rain was drenching him, so I tried to pull him under my umbrella, but he just kept pulling away from me.

It was frustrating me so much and getting me angry.

I grabbed onto both his arms, dropping my umbrella, and he struggled and whimpered as I made him face me.

He looked so hurt and in pain. He just looked so upset, I felt horrible. I wasn't sure if he had been crying or it was just rain running down his face like it was for me.

"I'm sorry, Ponyboy!" I said, frantically. I knew he wasn't listening to me, the way he was still struggling against my arms.

"Let go!" He yelled at me.

"Why should I!"

"Let go!" He repeated more loudly.

"No! Ponyboy you're gonna get sick out here! Get under some shelter!" I yelled, feeling my face turn red with anger.

"Leave me alone!" He almost screamed this time. It shocked me so much I did let go and he walked away quickly.

I picked up my umbrella and chased after him trying to cover him, "take my umbrella then!"

"No! I don't want you're freaking umbrella!" He yelled.

I had to jog slowly once I got in front of him. "Fine! I'll leave you alone! I won't ever go near you again!"

He stopped and crossed his arms over his chest, I could see he was crying now, but still had that angry, stubborn, hurt look to his face.

"Fuck you, Ponyboy," I said harshly, "don't try coming back to me either! 'Cause I don't fucking want you." Then I left, putting the collar up on my jacket. I hope my smokes don't get wet.

I didn't look back at him. I was so angry I couldn't even comprehend what I had said to him or the consequences. I always told myself I would never say such hurtful things, after hearing my parents yell them at me all my life, how I was worthless and etc.. But I just never expected to go off like that at him. What scared me most was that I could have been even meaner, and possibly could have hit him, if I stayed any longer.

It was so not like me. I knew how everyone saw me. Quiet little Johnny, the gang's pet, everyone' kid brother, and so on. But I can get mad too, you know! Yet, I really regret it now.

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I was running back to where I left him. I had gotten to my house when I broke down in tears, crying to what I had done. I couldn't even believe I wanted to break things off with him! I can't live without his love, not when I'm this deep in. Sure we haven't been together long, but does the length of our time together really matter, when we feel so in love at that moment? It wasn't like I was looking for marriage or some life long commitment, just his love to comfort me at this time. I hadn't realized how much he meant to me till I got home and saw my dad's car in the driveway. What if I had gone inside and dad was drunk and tried beating me up again? Would Ponyboy be at the hospital when I opened my eyes? I wished he would be. I needed him to be there. I know there's people who care about me, but not the same way Ponyboy does, and nothing can make me feel as loved and as happy as when I was with him.

Oh, please still be there waiting for me, I begged inside my head. Please, please, oh god, please, let him still be still. Please, make him still be there. He just has to be… please oh goddy god god. Ponyboy, if you're still there, oh god, I promise I would do anything you wanted me to do if you were still there. Anything. You just say it and I'll do it. Even if it's jump off a cliff. Just please still be there!

And there he was. Standing in the exact same place. In the exact same position, also. Though it was still raining heavily, I felt a fuzzy warmth over take my entire body.

I ran up to him grinning like a maniac I was so dang happy! Which caused me to blab on also like a maniac…

"ohmigod! I can't believe you're still here! Ohmigod! Not that I'm complaining! I was really really really hoping and wishing you were still here! Like the whole way over I was saying in my head how much I wish you would still be here and I promised I would do anything for you if you were still here, and Ohmigod! I'm just so happy you're here!"

I looked him up and down and noticed how wet he was…seriously he could have opened up a public pool on just his t-shirt. "Ohmigod, Ponyboy, you're drenched!" I took off my jacket and wrapped it around him, then covered over his head with my umbrella.

He hadn't looked at me once since I got there, just stared down at his feet with a miserable look to his face.

But then he spoke. "I waited for you to come back. I hoped so badly you would come back and I wished and wished over and over again that you would come back. I hoped no matter how long I had to wait you would still come back to me. I promised if you did, I would do anything for you."

He then looked up at me and a small smile curled at his lips.

"Really?" I said, in disbelief, since we had practically both said the exact same thing, what a coincidence!

He nodded which made me smile too.

"I'm real cold," he said with a small laugh.

I looked down at my feet, "wanna go some place to warm us up?"

I wanted to know if he got my hint… not only did I definitely wanna get back together but I wanted to be… you know… warmed up.

I looked at his face to see if he got what I meant. Maybe I should have tried saying it more suggestive.

He just nodded casually, "my brothers and the rest of the gang will probably all be at my place. Where do you think we should go?"

I shrugged so we just walked, thinking it over in our heads.

The next time I looked up I happened to spot Two-Bit. He was walking towards us with some girl under his arm.

"Hey, guys!" He grinned.

She wasn't blonde, but holding an umbrella… that must be why he's with her.

"Hey," Ponyboy said. "Where you guy's headin'?"

"Over to Buck's. I was just itching to listen to horrible music, when I thought, Bucks always has horrible music! On my way there, I met this doll Michelle…" "Kate!" She interrupted him. "Right, Kate, and she was heading over there too. Wanna come with?"

Me and Ponyboy look at each other, and with a silent agreement mixed between our thoughts, we looked at Two-Bit and nodded.

When we got there me and Ponyboy mingled for a bit then headed upstairs to a room, to dry Ponyboy off since he was so wet. Well one thing led to another, and we ended up having sex.

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That night when I came home I was feeling happier then ever… I just felt sorry for Ponyboy who had to walk home funny…

He offered to let me stay at his place for the night, but I haven't been home since I got out of the hospital and after 4 days, I think my parents would worry.

Okay… they really wouldn't worry. They probably haven't even noticed I was gone and have been yelling at my clothes for 4 days, but a boy can hope right?

I walked inside my house and almost stepped on a broken bottle. Dad was asleep on the couch, with the tv on. I crept past towards the staircase being as quiet as possible, and made it safely to my room.

I didn't bother about getting undressed and decided to wear these clothes. My whole body was still tingling in the after-sensation of my night with Ponyboy. I sat on my bed, taking off my shoes, while thinking about it. His naked body, the sweat glistening on his face and chest, how hot he was inside and out. Then I heard a knock on my door and I jumped with such a fright I fell back, against my bed.

"Johnny?" It was mum, and she had said my name in a soothing whisper.

I sat up, with surprise, and choked out, "uh, yeah, come in."

Normally she would storm in, and yell at me. But respecting my privacy was so…strange.

She walked inside, wringing her hands together in a nervous fashion. She sat down beside me on my bed and looked me over.

"Where have you been?" She asked, touching my cheek.

I jerked away from her touch.

She gave me a confused look, and I looked down at my knees. How could she blame me, the only time I could remember she touched my cheek would have been from a rough slap.

"I'm sorry," she spoke up and also looked away. But she looked down at her hands.

I looked at her confused. "Sorry?"

"I'm sorry about what your father did to you… he was drunk and…"

I rolled my eyes and sighed frustratingly. She looked at me, and with a small smile said, "yeah, there really is no excuse for the way he acted that night, and all the other nights for that fact. I'm sick of it myself."

My eyes widened and I said barely above a whisper, "you are?" I was just so shocked to hear her say that. Even the fact she was here right now, she's never done that. Whenever dad hit me, she'd ignore it.

She nodded and sighed. "I'm sorry I've never been there for you, Johnny. I know it may not seem like it but I really do love you. That's the reason why I'm even still here. To be honest, I hate your father. But he knocked me up… you know how it is, who would want a girl who's stuck with a kid." I furrowed my brow, did she really have to say 'stuck with'. She continued, "but your father… I half expected him just to walk out and leave me to raise you by myself, but he stayed. It wasn't till all the friends he grew up with were now moving away to college or making things of themselves, while he was stuck in some dead end job, that he became angry. He took it out on me first, for a year or two. It just broke me inside. I hated being with him and putting up with that, but it was like he broke my spirit. I just didn't care anymore. Not even when he started taking his anger out on you. It wasn't till recently, going through some old things, I realized what I had let happen. I'm so sorry, Johnny."

She buried her head in her hands and was now sobbing quietly. I looked around awkwardly and uncomfortably reached out to pat her back.

she sniffed and looked at me, "I know you can probably never forgive me, for just ignoring you and treating you so horribly, but I think in a way I also felt angry towards you. You look sorta like him, did you know that? Though you have my eyes and hair.. and bone structure."

I shrugged, and looked away again at just anything. Though I felt a lump inside my throat and a burning sensation behind my eyes. It wasn't because I was upset or angry, but actually happy. My mum was actually apologizing. I've wanted to hear this for so long and I was so happy. She really did love me…

"My sister called… who lives out in California. Which was a surprise 'cause ever since she married that rich guy, she hasn't spoken to me since. But she's worried about me and has sent me the money, to actually leave here, and move there."

Then my eyes widened and slightly began to twitch, "…what!"

"She sent money for you too! We can both leave here Johnny, and we can rebuild the whole mother and son relationship and actually be all family like!" Mum grinned, she looked so hopeful and happy.

I loved the thought of it, but the thought of Ponyboy and my friends was nagging me inside my head. I couldn't leave them… not now? It's too soon.

"When are you going?" I asked, nervously.

"Tonight."

"TONIGHT?"

"Shh, don't wake your father. Yes, tonight. I've packed my bags. We can leave now, you don't have to worry about packing, since you wear those clothes everyday anyway."

"I can't go now!" I said, loudly whispering.

Her face crashed into complete hurt, "huh? Why not? Do you really hate me that much?"

"No, mum. I do love you too… But I can't leave my friends."

"Ooh… the hoodlums," she said, with bitterness strong in her voice.

I wanted to tell her they weren't but I eh, I didn't bother, "I just can't go. Now anyway."

She nodded sighed and then cupped my hand.

When she took it away I saw money there.

I looked up at her surprised.

"Keep it very well hidden from your dad. When you're ready to come down, buy a train ticket down to…" and she gave me all the directions and then gave me another piece of paper with the number at where to reach her.

Then she smiled at me and kissed my forehead, "hope to see you soon…son." Then she got up and walked out, closing the door softly behind her.

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How was Johnny's mum able to hold money and a number in her hands, while also being able to hold her hands against her face and cry?…Nobody knows…let's just say she's a secret undercover magician!

The first part where Ponyboy and Johnny get off the bus is from a disturbing foreign movie I saw, that turned out sooo dang sweet. I could hardly remember any dialogue to it so I winged it through. Also there was no narrative voice, so I made up Johnny's thoughts. But the promise shit and wishing, yeah that was in the movie. But in the movie after they ended up back together they went to a phone booth and then the dude told her he wanted to sleep with her so they went to a hotel room instead.

I'll probably have the scene where Ponyboy and Johnny "do it" in a separate side shot story thing whatever you call it. I just gotta get some free time on my hands.

Also sorry 'bout the long wait. My grandma died recently and my parents had this fight so dad decided to sleep in front of the computer for I think 2 weeks or maybe 3? Dang, dad. So I never had a chance to get on the computer 'cause as you should all dang know by now, I like to write my chapters in early hours of the morning… the time right now is 5 in the morning. I started this at 2:30..wow long time writing.

Sorry 'bout the huge author notes right now also. But eh. Hoped you liked the chapter.. and I always felt Johnny's mum really did love him. Why else would she wanna see Johnny at the hospital in the book? I was so angry at Johnny for not letting her in!

This whole story was inspired off various things, like Johnny's mum leavin'.. I got that idea before I started writing this when I watched This Boy's Life…starring a young Leonardo DiCaprio (however you spell it). Then the first chapter was taken from one of my own stories. And there's gonna be some more from that movie Igby Goes Down. And of course there's the foreign movie that I don't know what the name is.

Yep, basic not important stuff… that nobody will read anyway lol. Thanks so much for the reviews.

P.S Sorry if some of this was confusing and doesn't make sense, I went back at times like 5 times to change various things like adding an umbrella to Johnny…originally he didn't have one