Here you go Christine, lol.

Bofbanoff – maybe this will give make your day again!

Wow, you guys! Your reviews were freaking awesome! You guys make my day- please continue!

Tell me whatchu think Please!! Vamanos!

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But if I lost you

there'd be no sun shine shining through

I don't know what in the world I would do

If I lost you

-Travis Tritt, If I lost you.

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"I don't like surprises."

"Trust me, there won't be any."

"Trust me, there always are surprises."

-Entrapment.

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It was early, not four am early, or five, it was the kind of early when the light is perfect and creeping in the window, a just-right-no-need-to-look-at-the-clock-type early. Sandy had awoken in this early light and glanced down at the woman who held herself tightly against him, as close as her large stomach would allow. He somehow managed to slip out of her grip and she groaned rolling on her back. He slipped down to marvel at her large stomach.

Sandy Cohen couldn't help himself in the early hours as he placed slow, deliberately soft kisses on her rounding belly. He propped himself up on his left elbow, close to her stomach and his feet hung over the bed slightly.

He grinned delightfully as he felt small kicks press back against him. He snuck a glance up at her and he could see she was smiling too.

"You just had to wake her, didn't you Sandy?" She asked him, placing an arm over her eyes to shield out any incoming light. There was a gentle tease in her voice.

"Mmmph," was the returned response as his lips pressed against her stomach again and moved swiftly against her ribs, which tickled, and he got the response he was hoping for. An elated smile, and a soft giggle, as the arm that was shielding her eyes from light, suddenly rushed through his dark hair and lightly tried to push him away, her fingers threading through his dark strands.

"Sandy!" Her scolding came out in a soft, hushed whisper and she tried to move away from him but was unsuccessful since he had his arms on either side of her.

He risked a glance up at her again and she was smiling with her eyes closed, clearly enjoying his tender exploration of her stomach. Her cheeks were a flushed with pink, but not a feverish pink, nor the exhausted just-ran-a-mile-running type of pink. It was the tender type of pink that rushed to her cheeks when Sandy mentioned something romantic, or after they had just made love, the kind that she only let rush to them when they were alone.

"You're so beautiful," he whispered and then continued his kisses and smiled when he felt a quick double kick and raised an eyebrow, wondering if she felt it too.

If she had, it didn't raise any concern.

She laughed at that, a hint of sarcasm in it. "I'm sure I am…" She knew full well how beautiful she had become. She was a walking pregnant skeleton and when she gained a few pounds the doctors were overjoyed. A skeleton that had dark circles under her eyes and made her family and friends revolve around her "vomiting" schedule.

She was putting them through pain and tears; her sons followed her like puppy dogs. Julie Cooper-Nichol grew a heart for God sakes and was actually her friend; her own husband avoided her sometimes because she knew it hurt him to even see her like this. She often watched Ryan at night sitting by the pool and staring out at the ocean, his head sometimes dropping to his chest and his shoulders would heave up and down. Seth needed a nightly visit from his father, or else he just couldn't sleep. She was tearing them apart and she put on the false front that she was simply fine in front of everyone.

Again he insisted that she was beautiful, the way he said it with such love and sincerity in his voice, she felt tears prickle because she knew she wasn't. She physically knew she was no longer gorgeous, no longer beautiful as Sandy was calling her. His hands rested on her stomach now and she shook her head as if to say 'You're nuts and no I'm not.'

"Beautiful, simply beautiful…" he heard her sniffle and her body shuddered and he knew he had just made her cry.

She shook her head, the words catching in her throat and this time he moved up to her face, to look in those frightened blue eyes. "Kirsten. Baby. Look at me, hey. Look at me."

Her eyes were full of tears when she finally met his adoring gaze.

His hand came up to trace her jaw line. "You are. You're so beautiful…"

He kissed her softly. "Simply beautiful."

In the early morning light in the comfort of her bedroom Kirsten Cohen became unraveled, her strong front gone. She cried like a baby as he continued his soft whispers while holding her close.

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The first nosebleed she had was when she was by herself. It was a small trickle and finished quickly, but the sight of it on the white tissue made her heart pound in her chest. She threw it away in the garbage and didn't give it a second thought; it had been dry in the house anyway.

The next time she was watching Seth and Ryan play video games as she did that often now, enjoying their company.

Suddenly the room began to spin and she felt the warm trickle that turned into a sudden gush. She used Seth's shoulder to pull herself up from the couch and rush into the bathroom. Her hand covered her face.

Both boys froze.

"Mom? What….?" Seth called after her, the video game quickly forgotten.

Ryan's glance was to the floor and he saw tiny splotches of small blood splatters along it, trailing to the bathroom.

Seth stood outside the bathroom door, hesitant to knock. He cast Ryan a dark, helpless look.

"MOM!" Seth's voice was panicky, compelling her to open the door.

He heard the door unlock and he rushed in.

Ryan took it as his cue to quickly grab paper towels and wipe up the floor.

Seth panicked. He saw blood on the wet washcloth she had grabbed. He saw his mother, her eyes dark and fearful. He didn't know what to do. Dark red was on her hands, on her shirt, some of it had hit the floor; it dropped on the sink counter, a sudden standout contrast to the bland bathroom. He suddenly couldn't think or even operate correctly. His vision blurred slightly and he shook his head.

"Ryan! God, Ryan, come here," Seth poked his head out of the doorway of the bathroom that Julie said needed to be repainted because of its blandness.

Ryan ran to the bathroom dropping the paper towels on the floor, not caring as they unrolled themselves. Seth's voice chilled him to the bone.

Seth chest was rapidly moving in and out, his eyes wide and terrified. "Ryan, there's blood. Lot's of blood. So much. Blood. Blood. I can't… I can't…"

"Seth, Jesus," he sighed and rushed back to grab the paper towels.

"Seth. Do me a favor. Clean up the floor. Please? It's not bad. Go Seth, go do it." He shoved the paper towels into Seth's chest. The last thing Kirsten needed was her hysterical son.

Giving Seth a job he opened the bathroom door and looked at Kirsten. She was sitting hunched down against the tub, her face a ghastly white, the dark circles underneath her eyes appearing even more evident. She had her eyes closed as the cloth had indeed soaked up most of the blood and was close to dripping.

He wordlessly wet another cloth, taking the one she had and tossing it in the sink, rinsing it and ringing it out as much as he could. He would have to throw it away later.

"Shit," he mumbled looking at her not knowing what to do. Her eyes were still closed and what little color she had left was draining out of her features as perspiration began to appear on her face and forehead. He knew she was getting worked up.

Making sure she would be okay he quickly rushed to the kitchen, grabbing the phone and dialing Sandy's number. His voicemail kicked in automatically.

"Shit, shit, shit!" He hung up and dialed another number.

"Julie? I need help. Please?" His voice must have leaked desperation.

He hung up quickly and walked to Seth who was sitting on the same spot on the floor holding a paper towel he hadn't moved, barely gasping, "Blood. So much blood." He rocked himself back and forth as he muttered the words.

"Seth?"

Seth couldn't hear him any words he said sounded like an echo. He was having a panic attack; his breath coming in large gulping gasps, his chocolate eyes dilating with his ragged intakes of breath. Sweat bristled upon his forehead and his chest heaved in and out, in and out, in and out. He wanted his dad.

His mother was dying, right here, right now and he didn't know what to do. She would never walk out of the bathroom again. Oh God. His head ran with thoughts that weren't true.

"SETH!" Ryan shook him on the shoulder and there was still no response.

He didn't know what to do. He didn't know whether to go to Kirsten, or to stay here with Seth. He wished Julie would get here, what was taking her so long? Why wasn't Sandy answering his phone?

"Seth, I'll be right back," Ryan looked into his eyes and Seth barely acknowledged him, nodding, as he didn't even know who said it.

He hastily made his way into the bathroom, kneeling before Kirsten, setting the phone on the sink. Her cloth was again soaked, and he quickly changed it out for the one that he had just rinsed in the sink. There was blood on her hands and he stood up opening the cupboard and grabbed another cloth, wetting it and taking one of her hands in his, wiping most of the blood away. He took her other hand and did the same before he placed the cloth in the sink.

"Are you okay…?" His blue eyes were anxious and she nodded her head, hating herself for this for putting them through all of this.

He heard the door slam as Julie rushed in. "Ryan?!"

Quickly he scrambled to meet her, grabbing the phone.

She was kneeling by Seth and looked positively confused. 'Julie is an adult she will know what to do,' Ryan thought, grateful that she was finally here.

"Ryan, what the hell's going on?"

"Julie… Kirsten…" Julie suddenly didn't need an explanation as to why the youngest Cohen was sitting on the floor rocking himself, scarcely breathing, looking terrified out of his mind. The boys' tone only held fear and she jumped up from her crouching position and took off to the bathroom where he had just come out of, fearing the worst.

He didn't even get a chance to explain watching as she hurried to the bathroom where Kirsten was, leaving a speechless Ryan with a terrified Seth.

He kneeled by Seth, looking into his paled, sweating face. "Seth?" He placed a shaky hand on Seth's shoulder. "Seth come on, how's Summer? Summer was over today wasn't she? What was she wearing Seth?" For the first time in Ryan's life, he babbled. He talked about the weather; he talked about school, he asked about Summer, anything…. anything to calm Seth down.

His breathing was still rapid, still fleeting, but he was calming down just a little bit. Oxygen was slowly getting into his bloodstream again. His face was slowly rushing back with color as his skin still glistened brightly with sweat. Seth was almost positive that his heart could be seen beating through his shirt.

Ryan's other hand ached. He glanced down and realized the phone was still there and his grip was so tight that the plastic was almost cutting in.

He dialed Sandy's number.

Sandy finally answered.

"Come home. Come home now," Ryan's voice was cold and distant and he hung the phone up before he could hear his response.

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Julie sat in the bathroom with Kirsten, debating on what to do. In her spare time she had started reading books on cancer and chemotherapy so she could maybe get an understanding as to what was going on with her new found friend.

Kirsten's nosebleed meant her blood counts were dipping low, and Julie knew that deemed that she should go to the hospital. But when she had mentioned it to Kirsten the woman's eyes went wide and the pupils dilated from the sudden intake of light and oxygen. She shook her head and reached for the towel that Julie had upgraded to, handing her the bloodied cloth. Who would have thought Julie would be doing this?

Julie stood and took the bloodied cloth, rinsing it in the sink, like Ryan had done earlier.

"We have to. Kirsten, this isn't good."

She smirked out loud. "I know," her voice was hoarse again.

"We have to." Again, Kirsten adamantly shook her head 'No.'

"How long has this been going on?"

Kirsten shrugged, honestly not knowing.

Julie estimated at least ten minutes. She sighed and excused herself quickly. "I'll be right back, I want to check on Seth."

Kirsten's facial expression held confusion. What was wrong with Seth?

"I'll explain when I get back, don't move," Julie patronized her like she was a child. Kirsten smiled inwardly to herself as that was just like Julie to tell her not to move. It wouldn't have mattered anyway, there was no way she could get up from this position without help.

Walking out into the living room, Seth seemed to be breathing a little easier but Ryan looked expectantly from her to Seth as if he wanted her to confirm that he was doing a satisfactory job with him. Ryan was still a kid, he didn't know what to do and Julie saw the utter helplessness on his face. He was begging her to take control.

She knelt by Seth and surprised Ryan by running her hand through his unruly dark hair. "Seth? Look at me, Seth," Julie's voice held power, it held certainty and mostly it held that motherly, smooth glib that children listened to. Julie's voice was soothing, she could voice out words as soft as a cat purred.

"Seth?" This time Julie moved in front of him, kneeling so she looked at him in the eyes. Julie had those amazing eyes, an icy blue-ish green color that was piercing and compelling. He was simply drawn to them.

"Your mom is okay, Seth. This happens sometimes.... Okay? Can you take a deep breath for me? Seth! LOOK AT ME," she tried consoling him but now her voice held adamancy, a simple demanding that he pay attention to her. The cool palm of her hand rested against the flushness of his cheek. Ryan watched his transformation from recognizing nothing, to finally seeing someone.

He saw her finally, as she came into focus. Ryan's glances were quick, Julie-Seth-Julie-Seth-Julie-Seth. Julie saw acknowledgment across his face.

"Okay?" Her voice rang out, strong, and reassuring. Seth closed his eyes. His chest heaved a huge, shuddering sigh.

He nodded against her palm, and she again ran her other hand through his hair. It was a gesture Kirsten had told Julie about when they were sitting talking about nothing, and somehow they started talking about their children. She figured in his panicked state that's all he needed was to be reassured. Seth met her concerned gaze and his eyes dropped to the floor, his breathing slowly returning to normal, feeling embarrassed. Marisa's mom had just brought him back from almost fainting. He only could hope in his own confused state that she wouldn't tell Marissa.

She rose again, knowing Seth was all right now, stopping as she passed by Ryan, her hand on his shoulder and he looked up at her expectantly. "You did good."

He nodded biting his lip. He hoped Sandy would get here soon. He didn't know if he had ever felt so scared before.

Julie walked to the front door and pulled out her cell phone, dialing Jimmy's number so no one would hear the desperation in her voice. If Kirsten wouldn't listen to her, than maybe, just maybe she would listen to him. Julie needed someone to console her and Jimmy had always been good at that.

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Sandy ran red lights.

He ran stop signs.

He even passed a cop on his hurry to get home.

Ryan's frail voice shook him to the core, and he had tried calling back but no one was answering. He wouldn't have left today if Kirsten hadn't insisted he go and help her whining bastard father. No, all he had wanted to do was spend a lazy day crashed out on the couch. But nooooooo Caleb called, she answered, and she gave him this pleading look and he just wanted to make her happy. So he left.

He was never listening to her again. Fuck her father right now, honestly, just fuck him. Fuck him and his inconsiderate attitude.

"Fuck!" He pounded his fist on the steering wheel. FuckfuckfuckfuckFUCK!

There was nothing worse than this feeling of dread that he carried deep in his heart where he kept his hope that everything was going to be okay. Everyday something simple that she would do when she was healthy stopped her. Like buttering bread, he watched as her hand shook in the effort of spreading butter over bread. It was fucking bread. It was a damn butter knife. They both weighed nothing. Yet she shook.

"We can't even get a fucking break. Not even one," he muttered, running another red light.

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Jimmy and Marissa arrived at the Cohen residence, Jimmy jumping the steps two at a time, throwing open the door in his hurry to get inside. Marissa glanced at her dad worriedly as he evidentially knew something that happened and wouldn't tell her about it.

She wondered why her mother had called her father and why her father swiftly came over here. She had heard her mom raise her voice and her dad's calming words. Walking in both Ryan and Seth were sitting on the floor, Ryan's hand on Seth's shoulder. There was still blood on the floor and Jimmy sidestepped this as he jogged to the bathroom where he heard Julie call his name.

Ryan turned as he heard steps and saw her shocked expression. She had found out Kirsten was sick through her father and on occasion Ryan talked about Kirsten at school. His wounded blue eyes broke her heart and she gingerly sat down next to them, while Seth never looked at her, only concentrated on taking deep, shuddering breaths.

"Hey," she whispered.

Seth bit his bottom lip and nodded his acknowledgement.

Ryan gave her a withdrawn smile, "Hey." Even his voice held misery.

Marissa looked at Ryan and then at Seth, before following his lead and placing her own hand on his shoulder.

"I know this sounds really stupid. But can you guys call Summer? I think…. I think…. she needs to be here," Seth shuddered again not looking at either one.

Ryan looked at him in surprise that he spoke and Marissa never hesitated at Seth's request.

"Sum, can you come to Seth's house? Yeah. Yeah, hurry. Bye."

"I'll be right back," Ryan said moving around wiping up what was left of the small blood trails to the bathroom, overhearing the adults worried talk and Kirsten's constant refusals.

He swallowed and walked into the kitchen, striding passed Marissa and Seth; catching bits of the small conversation that Marissa was leading, throwing away the paper towel. He walked back into the bathroom where the adults were. Julie was sitting and Jimmy was kneeling beside Kirsten.

Their heads turned sharply at his entrance in the doorway but he only saw Kirsten, pale and shaking, her nosebleed had unmistakably stopped finally. The bloodied towels and cloths were in the sink, the bathroom a red mess. He swallowed, once again not knowing what to do.

She looked up at him and he wasn't the sixteen-year-old boy she had taken into her home so long ago. He was the ten-year-old kid that had just taken a beating from his father. He looked questioningly from the adults unsure of what to do, or what to say, or if he should even be here. She reached her hand out to him and he timidly walked closer to her, sinking to his knees, his eyes full of momentary fear. "Ryan, thank you," she whispered. He nodded, his body trembling, relieved that she was okay.

Julie and Jimmy both nodded. "You did the right thing," Jimmy's voice spoke. Again he only nodded nervously, his eyes darting between the three adults. Ryan wanted to hear Sandy say that. He wanted Sandy's reassurance, not Jimmy's.

The door rushed open again and Summer's voice could be heard as she sat next to Marissa and Seth looking around bewildered.

"Christ Cohen, look at you! Are you okay?"

Kirsten's concerned eyes darted up to Ryan's then to Julie's and Jimmy's. She too heard the concern in Summer's voice and she struggled to get up to see her baby, but they held her down. "He's okay Kirsten. He's fine, I checked on him," Julie's voice was sincere.

Ryan nodded his agreement. He even managed a small smile.

Suddenly Kirsten gasped softly, her hands grabbing her stomach as an unmistakable labor pain tore through her. "Oh God, No…no, no. Not yet," she whispered through clenched teeth. "Please not yet. Oh God, not yet...it's way to early..." She moaned and her color paled again.

Sandy had finally walked through the door.

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