Daniel stared at Samantha, trying to digest her words.
I'm pregnant.
He'd thought eight years under Jack's command had made him a lot less awkward then when he'd started at the Stargate Command. But faced with Sam's words, he felt as awkward and socially inept as he had been in high school.
" Uh, I'm sorry – can you repeat that? " he asked. It was all he could think to say. This was unbelievable.
" I said I'm pregnant, " she repeated irritably. God, was he stupid? Deaf?
Yeah, that's what I thought you said, Daniel thought. " And you're sure it's mine? "
Samantha raised her arm to strike him. His whore comment still rang in her ears and she was filled with rage that he would assume she'd been sleeping around. Then she realised he was referring to Pete. Of course, as far as Daniel knew, they'd broken up a few days before the night they'd spent together.
She lowered her arm. " Pete and I – we weren't together – for more then two months – before we broke up, " she admitted. She hadn't told anyone that. Truth was, their relationship had deteriorated badly in the last six months of it. Looking bad, she couldn't believe she didn't see it sooner.
Daniel released a low whistle. " No wonder he broke it up, " he said, and Samantha slapped him.
He raised his hand to his cheek. " Jesus Christ, Sam, I'm nervous, OK? " he yelled. OK, so it wasn't the most tasteful of remarks to make, completely unlike him normally, but then, it wasn't a normal day when you were told your colleague that you'd had a one-night stand with was pregnant.
A long, uncomfortable pause. " Why didn't you do something about this? " he asked.
" Me? " Samantha asked incredulously. " Last I checked, it took two to make a baby. Why didn't you use a condom? "
" I was trashed out of my mind, " Daniel defended himself. " You were the one who just came out of a long relationship. Why weren't you on the pill? I just assumed you were. "
The rigours if intergalactic travel had done something crazy to the hormones in that particular form of birth control, so she'd always relied on more physical forms of control. " Well, I wasn't, " Samantha snapped.
" What about Jack? " Daniel asked, and Samantha's heart fell. She knew she could never convince him that there was nothing going on between her and Jack. She knew that was the reason he had transferred to SG-4. He couldn't stand being neither either of them, being convinced as he was of their relationship. And Samantha knew she had given him good reason to be paranoid.
"I'll take DNA test if you want, " she said as evenly as she could manage. She wanted to cry. He wasn't going to make this easy for her. But then, she didn't really deserve it, she thought sadly.
Daniel shrugged. " It's OK. I believe you. " He hated Samantha for the way she'd played with him, but he knew she wouldn't lie to him over something like this. Idly he wondered if that meant she and Jack hadn't slept together – or if they'd just taken precautions. The latter was most likely, in his opinion.
There was a long, uncomfortable pause. " So… what do you want to do? " Daniel asked.
" Why do you think I came to talk to you? I thought – you might like – you might have something to say – about it. " Samantha felt small under Daniel's scrutinising gaze. It was like he didn't care at all.
… He wanted to take her in her arms and tell her everything would be all right, that he loved her and they'd be a family and live happily ever after. He hadn't been able to get her out of his head, even though he hadn't seen much of her lately. But she was in love with Jack, and even if she was carrying his child, he wasn't going to take sloppy seconds just because it was convenient.
" It doesn't matter what I think, Samantha, no man ever forced you to do something you didn't want and I'm not about to try, " Daniel said, his voice void of any emotion.
He didn't care! Samantha wanted to cry, but damned if she would let Daniel see how hurt she was. He really didn't care! He wasn't the least bit interested in what happened tho their child! " I had expected you to be a little less indifferent to your child, "she replied icily.
" And would it change your mind if I was? " Daniel challenged. " I have no rights, Samantha, and I know it. And I know how much your career means to you. If you want to rip this thing out of you, go right ahead, I have no say in it. "
Samantha was angry and heartbroken, and she lashed out, striking Daniel again. " I wouldn't have let you touch me with a ten foot pole if I'd known this was what you were really like! " she threw at him.
" I could say the same about you, " Daniel shot back. Did she really mean that? He hadn't known her at all. " Do what you want, Samantha, you always do. " And with that he left.
Jack found her, half an hour later, still bawling her eyes out, desperately trying to get a hold of herself and failing miserably. Get a grip, Carter, she ordered herself. You are the 2IC of a front-line military unit. You are not a hysterical woman who can't get by without a man. But logic didn't work well in the face of Daniel not caring.
Jack held Samantha while she cried, and even his insensitive military nature worked out that it had something to do with Doctor Jackson – even if she didn't say so. But relations between the two of them had been icy for weeks, ever since the day they'd both come in badly hung over. Jack had though it had just been a matter of them sharing too many secrets, but he was beginning to suspect something more then that.
… He realised too late how he felt about Samantha. She'd always been available for him, even when she'd been seeing other guys. Somehow Pete just hadn't been the threat that Daniel was.
But then, a threat implied it could be eliminated somehow. And Jack had the sinking feeling Samantha's feelings for Daniel couldn't be eliminated. Samantha Carter didn't cry hysterically for nothing.
Well, if that's how it is, Jack thought regretfully. He loved Samantha, and he would do anything to see her happy – even if it was with another man.
He confronted Daniel half an hour later, after finding the archaeologist in his office, playing with his stupid toys – Jack had never gotten the appeal of a bunch of dusty artefacts. That was history, and his concern was the future – namely, defending his planet against him. Each to their own, I suppose.
Although confronted wasn't exactly the word. Her slammed Daniel against the wall with all the force a career in the military could afford. Daniel, to say the least, was surprised by Jack's anger. He tried to splutter out a few words but Jack cut him off.
" Look, whatever you did to Sam, you go and undo it, " he commanded. " Before I make your miserable existence even more miserable. "
Daniel tried to look as dignified as he could, which wasn't much, given he was pinned to a wall with his feet dangling inches about the floor. " It's none of your business and I don't answer to you anymore, " he retorted. He was filled with resentment that Samantha would send her lover to deal with him.
Jack pulled him away from the wall a few inches, and slammed him against it again. " You made her cry, you bastard, " he hissed. " I don't know what you said, and frankly, I don't care. But you will apologise to her. She deserves way better then that. She deserves way better then you. "
You would think that, Daniel thought bitterly. He had visions of Jack and Samantha shacked up together and his heart broke at the thought.
But he had treated Samantha badly, he knew that. Now that he'd had time to cool down, he was starting to feel very bad about being so harsh with her. He had lashed out because he was feeling sorry for himself, and no matter what Samantha had done to him, he shouldn't have responded in kind.
" OK, fine, " Daniel conceded. " I was going to do it anyway. But get your hands the hell off me. " Jack let him go and stalked out of Daniel's office, glad to be away from all those weird artefacts. Daniel was glad Jack was gone. They had once been close, as close as they could be given their clash of personalities, but now Jack was just a reminder of Samantha's betrayal.
Nonetheless, he had to sort things out with her. After pulling himself together (an assault by Jack O'Neill could leave anyone shaken) he went to find Samantha.
He found her where she usually was when not on mission – in her lab, toiling over her latest lot of samples. He couldn't help but smiling. Samantha loved her genetics the way he loved his artefacts. And Jack hadn't loved any of them. He couldn't understand what she saw in him.
" I came to apologise, " he said sheepishly when she saw him. " I was way out of line with what I said before. "
It was the first time in six weeks they'd spoken with any degree of warmth, but Samantha wasn't going to let him off that easily. " Yeah, Daniel, you were, " she said. " You didn't have to act like this was some big inconvenience. I'm the one who has to deal with it. "
Daniel allowed himself to smirk. " You never were good at accepting an apology graciously, " he reminded her.
" Especially not one from a man who was wrong, " Samantha agreed, a smirk of her own playing on her face. The ice was broken. This was the most civil conversation they'd had since their night together.
" It was really wrong of me to say the things I said, " Daniel admitted. " You're right. I'm as responsible for this as you are. " He took a deep breath. " Whatever you want to do, Sam, I'll support you. If you want to have it – I'll support you financially, if you need it. And if you want – " he shrugged, not being able to say it. " I'll support that, too. "
Sam didn't miss the fact he hadn't mentioned what he wanted and she brought it up. Daniel averted his eyes from her face. " It's not about me, " he said.
Samantha wanted to take Daniel's hand and press it against her stomach, even though he wouldn't be able to feel the baby growing inside her. " It is too about you! " she cried, feeling Daniel truly didn't care about her or the baby. " This is your baby, too, Daniel. "
Blue eyes met blue eyes that pierced her soul all the way through – and not in a good way. " But it's your body, Samantha, " he said quietly, firmly – he had always made up his mind, and if he let his resolve waver, he knew he would regret it. Whether Samantha chose to keep the child or get rid of it, she wouldn't do it because of him. And she certainly wasn't going to have this child thinking she should stay with him for the sake of it. He would not lie next to her every night while she thought about Jack O'Neill for the sake of their child. If she was going to have this child, she would go into it prepared to be a single mother – and he would give what support he could – but he would not be sloppy seconds to Jack.
She would not cry over him for the second time that day, she vowed. But when she saw the cold indifference in his eyes she wanted to start bawling again. He didn't care if she had an abortion, and if she bore this child his own concern was supporting it financially – not as a father. " Daniel, please don't be like this, " she begged, her voice breaking.
" Be like what, Major? " Daniel's voice cut through her pleas coldly. There was no other way he could be without his resolve buckling completely. Even now there was a part of him that asked what was so bad about being sloppy seconds, if it meant he could have Samantha in his life, even just a little bit? His resolve hardened. She wanted Jack, not him. " You made it clear you want to be with Jack. Well, this is my permission. Go and be with him. Do what you feel is right about your pregnancy. I'll support whatever you do. But I won't be your second choice because you can't have Jack. I won't be the man you sleep with because you can't sleep with him. "
She wanted to cry out, " Jack doesn't mean anything to me! I want to be with you! " but Daniel cut her off as she opened her mouth, placing his fingers over her lips.
" Please don't, " he pleaded. " I don't want to hear it. This is the best way. " And with that he left, keeping a stoic expression on his face until he got to his office, where he locked the door and started to cry.
Samantha made her decision – without Daniel. She thought about her career, the program, her future motherhood prospects.
She had always wanted to be a mother. She had intended to start young but the thing about being a woman in astrophysics was you usually had to choose, career or family. And she'd always chosen career, thinking in a few more years she'd be in a position to choose family. And then a few years would pass, and she'd choose career again, and then she got into the Stargate program and met Jack and hadn't given motherhood much thought after that.
She was getting on in life, her biological clock was ticking. If she didn't have a child now, she knew chances were she never would. And professionally, she was in the best position she'd ever been in to have a child. She was an indispensable scientist to the program, so even if she took a year of actual missions, she would still be allow to process samples found offworld. Hammond considered her a daughter, so he'd do everything in his power to make the transition easy. He'd make sure that she went back when she was needed to go back, and not a day sooner or later.
But Daniel won't be in its life, or mine. The thought kept coming back to haunt Samantha. As traditional as it seemed, she had always imagined being a mother with a loving husband and father. Daniel had offered his financial support, which she didn't need. She took that to mean he wouldn't be offering his emotional support.
It was hard to envisage parenthood without him. It was especially hard knowing that he'd be there, that she'd see him every day, but he wouldn't be a real part of their lives – just another colleague. But eventually she came to the conclusion that there would be no better time – and if she waited much longer, there would be no other opportunity. At least there would be no issues about custody.
A week after her confrontation with Daniel, she went to tell General Hammond of her decision.
" I'm pregnant, sir, and I've decided since we don't know anything about Naquada, I don't want to take the risk of exposing the baby. I'm perfectly capable of continuing my research here in the lab, but I don't want to go on any missions until after the baby's born. "
That sounded reasonable to the General. He was pleased that Samantha was staying onboard and not taking maternity leave straight away. But then, if she did that, she'd be bored out of her skull.
The General tentatively broached a sensitive subject. " And what about the father? " he asked.
" He's not in the picture, " Samantha replied quickly, too quickly. It was all the confirmation the General needed. No matter what Jack said, anyone could see Samantha and Daniel had shared more then just a few personal memories. Idly he wondered what Samantha had done to make Daniel turn away from her in her time of need – it was so out of character for him. Daniel wouldn't abandon a stranger he'd had a one-night stand with, let alone Samantha. The General wondered if it had something to do with Jack. He was no fool, he knew O'Neill and Carter had a close relationship – and maybe something more – but there had been no lines crossed and he'd been happy to leave it at that.
No he wasn't so sure, but if she was resigning from the team, at least for a year or so, team integrity between her and Jack wasn't exactly something he needed to worry about.
" Well, I hope you and, er, the father work things out, " Hammond said. " And of course take all the time you need. Your position will be there when you're ready to return. "
Samantha was grateful the General was being so understanding. She suspected he knew Daniel was the father and was grateful he didn't say anything about that. She made her way back to her quarters, where she sat down on her bed and felt very alone.
She was beyond crying now. She had dealt with the loss of Daniel, and that he wasn't prepared to have anything to do with her, or the baby. At least he had been honest with her, she supposed. Better to be upfront then to let her think he would be there for her, but still…
She sighed. She had made her decision, and she stood by it. The longer her pregnancy went on, the more she wanted this baby. She could feel it growing inside of her, she could connect with it and no-one could convince her that it just 'only a feutus'. This was her baby, and she loved it.
She just wished Daniel would love it too.
But what was done was done. She couldn't go back, could only go forward. There was no crime in being a single mother. Hadn't she achieved a hell of a lot as a woman in a male-dominated field? This was just another challenge.
The months went by, and it became apparent to everyone on the base that Colonel Samantha Carter was pregnant – and the whispers about who the father might be grew louder every day. Her ex-fiancee was the obvious choice. And then there was Colonel Jack O'Neill – it was mighty convenient that Pete and Samantha broke up around the time the baby would have been conceived. Was that the reason they had broken up?
That Daniel Jackson might be the father occurred to no-one but three people. He and Samantha had done too good a job of pretending everything was OK. Even Daniel's resignation from SG-1 had appeared amicable, for the sake of the program.
But Hammond knew, and Teal'c knew, and Jack knew. It infuriated Jack in particular that Daniel had seemingly abandoned Samantha when she needed him. Jack didn't know exactly what had transpired between the two of them, neither would say, but he did know that wasn't the way you treated someone who was carrying your child.
" It's OK, Jack, " Samantha told him wearily when he said as much to her. " He told me straight out he didn't want to be with me, and he didn't want me to make my decision thinking he'd ever change his mind – because he won't. And I'm fine with that. "
But the look in her eyes told him otherwise. She loved Daniel, for reasons he couldn't fathom, and he had abandoned her. Jack figured it was time for another confrontation with Danny-boy.
Daniel deeply resented Jack sticking his nose into something that was absolutely none of his business. " I don't see why it's any of your concern, " he said coolly. " Why don't you go and be a good step-father. I know it's what you want. " It broke Daniel's heart to think of Jack raising his kid but – it was the best way. He wasn't going to get involved with Samantha when it was Jack she wanted.
Jack stared at Daniel in disbelief. " Wait – you think Sam and I are together? " he asked incredulously. The resentment in Daniel's eyes told him everything he needed to know. He rolled his eyes. " Daniel Jackson, you are a fool, " Jack stressed. " She cries herself to sleep every night because you won't have anything to do with her. "
" She looks pretty happy to me, " Daniel said sullenly. He didn't like the way Jack was making him feel like he'd abandoned her. He hadn't. He'd given her a choice, hadn't he? She'd never intimated her feelings, beyond that she'd had a thing for Jack for years. What was he supposed to think, then?
Jack glared at Daniel. " That's 'coz she doesn't want you to feel sorry for her, " he said. His expression softened just a touch. " Look, Danny-boy, she's really upset. She's putting on a good front for everyone, but she's hurting over this. I don't know what happened between the two of you, I only know that you should at least be part of the kid's life. You of all people should know what it's like growing up without a father. "
Jack's words cut deeply into Daniel's soul. He was right, even if the baby would have the love and devotion of its mother. He had told Samantha to make the choice without him, and she had. Now that she had made that choice, well maybe he could be a little involved. He owed it to his kid.
He found Samantha where she always was these days, in her lab. Now that she wasn't going on missions, she spent most of her time either there or in her quarters.
" Hi, " he said quietly when she looked up to see him. They had been friends for so long, she was carrying his child, and all he could say was hi. He felt an intense feeling of loss for what they had been, and what they could have been. Oh, Sam. I could have given you so much more then this.
" Daniel. " She smiled weakly. " Why are you here? "
" I came – Jack – I wanted to see you, " he blurted out. His eyes wandered down her body to her slightly protruding stomach. She wasn't showing much yet, you couldn't tell if you didn't know, but he knew inside out. Sometimes he thought he knew her better the he knew himself. Or at least, he had known her.
" You made it pretty clear you wanted nothing to do with me, " she pointed out, her voice icily professional. She couldn't bear to have Daniel reject her again.
He blurted out, " Sam, I was an ass. I was hurt and I lashed out and I'm sorry. I didn't want you to have an abortion, I just didn't want you to choose me because you thought you should. I was so glad when I found out you were keeping the baby. " And he'd found out because General Hammond had told him, he recalled. He should have been the first person she told. He should have made that obvious. He should have been there for her. " And… if it's not too late… I'd like to… be part of… its life. "
Samantha's gaze was even although her heart was racing. " It's life or our life? " she clarified.
Daniel looked away. " You broke my heart, Sam, " he accused her. Her heart twisted painfully. She didn't have anything to say in her defence ; it was true. " I want to trust you, I really do but… I need time. "
Samantha let out an inaudible sigh of relief. He needed time. That sounded like time was all he needed – time to trust her again. " I can give you time, " she said, trying hard to keep her voice even. She would not break down and cry and declare her love for him. She would not cling. She had to have faith he would come back in his own time.
But she had to set one thing straight. " If it means anything, " she said. " I never – never thought about Jack – when I was with you. " She lowered her face and felt the blood rush to her cheeks as she remembered the night of passion she had with Daniel. She vowed one day she would tell Daniel how amazing that night had been. But not now. She couldn't coax him back to her with praise of his sexual prowess. He has to come back on his own. She could and would wait. She had time.
It meant a lot to Daniel to hear her say that. But now wasn't the time for happy reunion. They had hurt each other badly, and wouldn't even be speaking to each other if it wasn't for the baby. But there was a baby, and it could very well be the saving grace of their relationship. In time, he thought, and he felt strangely hopeful. They would be parents, and in time they would be friends – and maybe more…
Tentatively, he walked over to her and even more tentatively placed his hand over her stomach. The closeness of his strong body and the intimacy of his touch made Samantha's knees buckle, and sent her backwards. Daniel snaked an arm around her waist just in time, and propped her against him
They both felt the jolt of chemistry that passed through them.
Samantha smiled coyly at Daniel, then turned her head away. Instinctively she knew it would be wrong to encourage him to kiss her. They needed to be friends again before they became lovers.
" So… " Daniel said awkwardly. " Is there, um, anything I can do to help? "
" I would love one of your backrubs, " Samantha said before she'd thought about it. Even though she was early in her pregnancy, she was already starting to feel more tired then usual, and her back was starting to hurt from carrying the extra weight. And Daniel gave great backrubs. But she wasn't sure if it was a little too intimate, given the tentative state of their friendship – it wasn't even friendship – and she blushed. " Sorry, forget I said that, " she said.
Daniel pushed Samantha onto a stool and sat behind her in another chair, his hands beginning to work their magic. Samantha let out a satisfied purr. She hadn't realised how strung out she was – or maybe her back was just a symptom of her stress. Idly she wondered how much of her enjoyment was just the feel of Daniel's hands on her back. " I missed this, " she admitted.
His laugh was a low, intimate chuckle. " So did I, " he agreed.
For the next few weeks, their relationships improved to something that might be called friendship. It was a surreal situation, because they wouldn't have made the effort if it hadn't been for the baby. But since they were making the effort, they were beginning to remember just how close friends they had been, and they were beginning to rediscover the chemistry that had gotten them into this situation in the first place.
Around the base it became known that Daniel was the father of Samantha's child and there were a lot of dropped jaws. It was hard to say who was more jealous of the pairing, the men or the women.
General Hammond was happy to see them back together, or something like it. He considered himself to be a father to both of them, and he knew something had happened to make them hurt each other badly. But that seemed to be in the past now. His 'children' were making an effort to connect, and they were definitely connecting.
Until it all went horribly wrong.
It started out as a normal day for Samantha. SG-6 had brought back some interesting specimens, and she was having a ball analysing them. She barely missed going on missions, although the reminder of the baby growing inside her helped.
Automatically, she touched her growing stomach, as she did a dozen times a day. It was an incredible feeling, to have life growing inside of her. It fascinated Daniel. He could spend hours playing with her tummy. And with her. He hadn't actually kissed her yet – well, properly, kisses on the cheek and forehead didn't count – but she knew it would happen soon. And the knowledge made her very happy.
Suddenly she felt a stab of pain rip through her abdomen. Instinctively she clutched at her stomach, as if the action could somehow protect her baby.
For a few seconds, nothing else happened and Samantha dared to think it had been a one-off. And then it happened again, and the pain was sharper, harder. Although the pain wasn't actually hindering her ability to breathe, she felt as if the wind had been knocked out of her and she gasped for air. She collapsed to the floor and started screaming, the agonising cry of a woman who wants her child more then anything in the world and knows she is miscarrying…