CHAPTER 6

The hold was dim when he stepped down into it; he could make out the vague shapes of cars and crates, but everything was cast in a grayish gloom. He could, however, see the outline of a human shape, sitting on a tarp, below a hatch.

She wasn't crying; he could tell that much, but the silence unnerved him as much as hysteria would have. He hovered awkwardly, unsure of how to approach her, and jumped at the sudden sound of her voice in the quiet.

"Come in, Alex." He had never heard Fidget use that tone before; quiet, sad, and utterly exhausted.

Seemingly without his consent, his legs obeyed her command, sliding him over to where she was sitting on the ground. Her shoulders were hunched over, and her arms wrapped around her knees. She wasn't looking at him, but at a place over his shoulder.

"Sit down."

He did that as well, lowering himself beside her. For a moment they simply sat in silence; Alex could tell Fidget was gathering her thoughts, and he looked away from her. He didn't dare start this conversation; it would be wrong of him to take control right now; besides, his mind had gone strangely blank.

He was relieved when she took a deep breath and started speaking. "You should know that I will do my best to make sure we all remain friends after this." He looked over at her and smiled, but she was staring straight ahead, and didn't see it.

"I don't think any of us meant for this to happen, and I'm sorry that I had any part in it at all. I had no intention of forcing anyone into an uncomfortable position, least of all you. I didn't see this coming." She gasped again, and Alex held his tongue, instinctively knowing he was not welcome to speak.

"I'd like to pretend that everything worked out fine, and that everything's alright now, but it's going to take a while to heal the rifts in out friendship." Here she paused. "You should know that I am going to try." She squirmed uncomfortably, and glanced nervously at his face. "I… I love you all, and I don't want to loose you."

Alex smiled at her again. "I know."

"I think we're all very confused at the moment, and lots of things need to be worked out."

Alex nodded. There was still that one subject being hedged around, and he sensed that if he didn't bring it up, she wouldn't either. But he had to know. "What about Rikki?"

Her eyes watched his face for a moment, and he felt suddenly threatened. But the look vanished and her lips curved upwards. "I… feel hurt by what he did –and I know he's hurt by what I did. And it kind of makes us feel… connected still. I don't know. I'm really happy for him at the same time, though. But… betrayal like that stings."

Alex was confused, but he nodded. "He didn't mean to hurt you; no more than you meant to hurt him."

"I know, I just…" Her eyes flicked up to his face. "I though that he could trust me, you know? I thought that he'd tell me if there were something wrong." She swallowed. "I mean, we weren't perfect, but I thought we were doing alright."

"Well…" He didn't know what to say. "Maybe it just wasn't meant to be." The words felt flat and awkward, but Fidget smiled slightly.

"Maybe." She paused, and stared at him for a long moment. He twitched, and sensed that she was about to speak about what had happened the night before. It seemed like eons ago, in this quiet little room. He swallowed, and steeled himself. No more running.

"And you… You think that we're meant to be, don't you?" It wasn't really a question, but Alex felt compelled to answer it.

"I feel like I've loved you forever."

She smiled slightly again, but her eyes were calm and cool. "I believe you… but I'm not sure I feel the same."

That was nothing less than what he had been expecting, but it bit into him nonetheless. Maybe a little part of him had been hoping she'd simply throw herself into his arms, insist that she'd loved him always and forever, and promptly shove her tongue down his throat. Stupid, he knew; but he was a romantic.

He forced his numb lips to move. "I think I knew that too. But… I have to know; is there any chance at all…?"

She eyed him sadly. "I don't know right now."

They sat in silence, but it was comfortable silence; thoughtful quiet. Her voice, when it came, startled him.

"Look, Alex. I'm going away for a bit. We've nowhere to be, and I need some time for myself for a while, to think things through."

And that was a bit of a surprise as well; it had never occurred to him that she was going to run away, like he wanted to do. But, right now, the thought of her leaving wasn't despairing in the slightest. He knew, without asking, that she'd be back, and stronger than ever before. Besides, he knew he needed to do some thinking of his own.

She smiled again. "I'm going to see my sister; spend a week or two with my folks. Nothing radical." Here she paused again, and smirked mischievously. "And when I get back, I expect to see a brilliant plan to win me over, heart and head."

He was still chuckling when they climbed the stairs up to the cabin together.

XXXXXXXXXX

All of them went to the Airport to see Fidget off; Grinder grinning and laughing at Fidget's surly complaints about traveling by commercial plane; Rikki smiling shyly and making pleasant, but distant comments; and Alex attempting to treat her like the friend that she was. The entire transaction felt oddly forced; they were parting on decent enough terms, but abstract issues seemed to lurk just below their conversation. It was rather disquieting; watching one another closely, and looking for the slightest allusions in speech.

But the strangest thing of all was dark in Fidget's eyes: fear. In all the years he had known Fidget Wilson, he had never seen her afraid of anything. What scared him though, was the fact that he didn't know what she was afraid of.

Being trapped? Being abandoned?

He wasn't sure in the slightest, and something in the way she was holding her shoulders –protective of herself—told him he wasn't going to find out until she was ready to tell him. He had to be patient; he had to be generous; he had to wait.

And as he watched her bored the plane, he knew she was something worth waiting for.

END