"Repercussions – Part 6"

August 6, 2005 (Day 106)
The Grissoms'
6:27 a.m.

"I'm in the bedroom," Sara shouted when she heard the door from the garage into the house open. Dressed and ready for work, she was perched on the edge of the bed reading the instructions for her fertility monitor.

"Is it time to start?" Grissom excitedly inquired as he hastily kicked off his shoes and joined his wife on the bed.

"Slow down Double D." With her palm she halted his advance. "It's only day four and more importantly, the troops are to remain in a holding pattern until your appointment at the bank this morning, remember? We want the soldiers who have been chomping at the bit for the last three days, not lazy second string reinforcements."

"Oh…I forgot about the bank." He fell back on the bed. "I think I should reschedule because I'm still tired from the accident and…"

"Maybe I would believe you if you hadn't insisted on working your shift last night even though you were supposed to be on leave."

"But I stayed at my desk, it wasn't physical. At the appointment I will have to…"

"Do what you've been doing since you were fourteen?" She teased, "I'm sure you have enough experience you could do it in your sleep."

"Fourteen?" His amusement with her guess was reflected in his expression. "Are you kidding? I was a curious biologist well before then, Honey."

"Of course. You probably studied the process until you had it perfected for maximum efficiency. I could see you keeping a time chart and graphing the results for trend analysis."

"No comment."

Moving her eyes from the ovulation kit instructions to him, she asked in a stealthy tone, "Speaking of biology and curiosity, how old were you when you lost your vir…"

"We're not having this conversation." Sitting up, he prepared to flee. "If you want to talk in biological terms I have no problem. You bring in the personal and…"

"I was seventeen. Happened freshman year at Harvard" She nonchalantly provided the details. "Met him in Applied Statistics. It was 100 awful."

"Thank you for the unsolicited information." His eyes were fixed on hers while he desperately tried to ignore his curious mind's desire for more details of his wife's sexual history. "I need to take a shower before my appointment."

"It's not for three hours," She reminded him while yanking him back to the bed. "Come on…I'm your wife…we shouldn't have secrets."

"It's not a secret. It's irrelevant."

"Nothing is irrelevant. You say that all the time!"

"Fine." He presented a challenge which he was certain she couldn't meet. "Without leaving this bed and in less than sixty seconds, recite a famous quote with irrelevant in it and I'll tell you."

Her mouth curved into a victorious smile. "Edgar Allan Poe…Experience has shown, and a true philosophy will always show, that a vast, perhaps the larger portion of the truth, arises from the seemingly irrelevant."

"Damn." Cockiness bit him in the ass once again.

"I think I deserve bonus info for reciting a quote that has potential relevance to the question. What truth will arise from your seemingly irrelevant story? Hmm?"

"Poe also said, the true genius shudders at incompleteness and usually prefers silence to saying something which is not everything it should be." He waited for his reprieve.

"Good for Poe but, he didn't lose a bet with me, you did... so pay up." She gave him her full attention. "Still waiting."

Looking at her, he knew there was no way out so he spilled the information as rapidly as possible. "Twenty-four in LA. Met her at a crime scene and no, she wasn't a suspect then or later. She was a professional escort but I didn't pay her…we traded tutorial services. I needed help in bed and she needed help passing Algebra in college. Oh…and here's the bonus info you said you deserved…it was 100 fantastic every Tuesday and Thursday morning for months."

Stunned, she glumly said, "That's a much better story than mine."

"Exactly why I didn't want to tell you! You assumed I was embarrassed. I wasn't, I just felt bad that your first time stunk while mine was ideal for me…a gorgeous experienced woman, no relationship anxiety and I got to show off my mathematical intellect." He grinned uncontrollably. "Sorry…the irrelevancy thing was a sham."

"Yeah…" She nodded. "Because there's plenty of relevance in your story. Specifically why you're a morning person in the sack, where you learned your moves and why you always look happy solving algebraic equations."

"And now I know why you always look annoyed when doing statistical analysis." Chuckling, he kissed her cheek. "I'm taking a shower." He left her sitting on the bed while he strolled toward the bathroom whistling.

"Honey, that thing in the shower we…did she?"

"Yep."

While picking up the directions for the fertility monitor, she mused, let's hear it for the algebra-challenged call girl who is responsible for my current high level of satisfaction.

When she saw Grissom immediately re-emerge from the bathroom, she asked, "Want to talk some more?"

"Hell no," He scoffed at the thought. "I want the copy of Journal of Forensic Sciences I was reading."

"Is that what you're bringing to use at the bank for inspiration instead of using their porn stash?"

Hustling toward his nightstand, he replied, "While the article I was reading on the effect of electron beam irradiation on forensic evidence is titillating and would certainly do the trick, I was actually planning on reading it right now."

"Ah." She watched him quickly retrieve it. "Honey, I was wondering…it's obvious you benefited from your tutoring, but did your student? What grade did she get in Algebra?"

He was insulted she could think he was ineffective as an instructor. "An A of course."

"Kind of a double edge sword, huh? Once she passed then your tutoring gig was over as well."

"Well…all good things must come to an end." Tucking the science journal under his arm, he said in a devilish tone, "Luckily for me…next semester she took Chemistry, which she was worse at than Algebra. I'm pretty sure the shower tutorial was the day she finally caught on to Atomic Mass."

"Speaking of Atomic Mass…" Cackling, she got up from the bed and walked over to him. "Weren't you on your way somewhere with that journal?" Pecking his lips, she announced, "I need to go to work. Call me after you make your deposit at the bank." Then she winked. "Or call me if you need motivation."

Wendy Blake's House
8:34 a.m.

Carrie was at the kitchen table combing through bridal magazines over coffee with her sister-in-law Wendy when Sean bounded into the room.

"Aunt Carrie!" He rushed to the table. "Did you talk to Mr. Grissom since the accident? Is he really okay?"

"Yes…yes…I promise he's fine, barely a scratch. Nick worked with him yesterday." She studied his eyes. "You were really worried, huh?"

Wendy nodded. "Unfortunately, I had the TV on when they broke in with the story. I was in another room and couldn't shield him from it in time. That damn drama queen Ana Silva made my poor boy hysterical!" Recalling her son's tears, she pulled him in for a hug. "I told you Mr. Grissom was fine when I saw him on the ten o'clock news."

Carrie chuckled, "Oh yeah, trust us Sean…he was full of energy."

"Okay." Sean, although more relaxed, wasn't content just hearing second-hand that his mentor was okay. "I'm ready to exchange the most recent books he loaned me with some new ones. Mom, maybe you could call him? Maybe he'd let me come over and get them."

Wendy stood up and guided her son to the backdoor. "Before it gets too hot, go out back with your dad and brother to get some exercise. If you do that for an hour, then I'll call Mr. Grissom and see if we can stop by some time to exchange books."

"Deal!" Sean bolted out the back door, fully prepared to toss a stupid football for an hour in exchange for a chance to hang out with his favorite teacher and get some new science textbooks.

Through the window, Carrie watched her quirky nephew dash over and join in the play. "I've never seen him that motivated to throw a ball. He really worships Gil, doesn't he?"

With her head in the fridge retrieving eggs, Wendy answered, "Sean had to do a project at science camp the other day…one of those what do you want to be when you grow up deals complete with a paper and a visual representation of the career." With a carton of eggs in hand she retreated and shut the door. "Of course, the title of his paper was… I want to be a Forensic Scientist and Entomologist just like Gil Grissom."

Carrie gnawed on her bottom lip. "And the visual representation? Please tell me he didn't bring in road kill?"

"No, but only because I had the foresight to forbid it!" Cringing, she set the eggs on the counter and donned her apron. "He took one of McKenna's old baby dolls to use as a corpse. Then he used different types of gooze to make it look like the doll was all slimy from decomposing. Lastly…he covered it with plastic bugs."

"Bet he got an A."

"A plus." One by one, Wendy cracked eggs in a white porcelain bowl. "If Gil hadn't survived, Sean would have been devastated…we all would have been. Not only is he a fantastic role model for my science-obsessed son, he was responsible for bringing Mike Rodgers to trial and finally getting my sister and me some justice."

"Hey!" Carrie sweetly reminded her sister-in-law, "My man Nick had a hand in that too."

Grabbing her whisk, Wendy unfurled a bittersweet smile. "My sister gets killed and decades later when we're at the trial of her murderer, you meet your future husband. Something so blessed coming out of something so awful…really makes you wonder if there isn't some really twisted divine plan, huh? Think about it…how funny is it that the two men responsible for nailing my sister's killer are now so personally important to my family?" Sighing, she declared, "The world needs more men like Nick and Gil."

"Well…" Carrie flipped a page as she spoke. "Eventually I'll make sure there is another generation of Nicks in this world. As far as another generation of Gils…don't worry, I think Sara has that under control."

Excitement splashed over Wendy's face. "You mean?"

"Not yet but, they're definitely working on it."

Wendy laughed. "It looked like they were about to work on it on TV last night."

"I know!" Carrie joined in the laughter. "Before last night, I'd never even seen them hold hands!"

"From what I saw on TV, Gil is more than ready to take matters into his own hands!"

The Fertility Institute
Room 4
9:34 a.m.

While he was at the sink washing his hands, Grissom noted the varied collection of saucy magazines displayed on the counter. Being the motivated pro that he was, he had efficiently taken care of the business at hand without utilizing the provided publications. However, since only a short time had elapsed since he entered the room, he realized he should kill a few minutes so people didn't think he was too experienced at the task.

Curious as always, and with nothing else to do to pass the time, he surveyed the magazines and randomly selected one.

Leaning against the counter, he flipped through the pages not expecting to see anything he hadn't seen in these magazines before.

Then he saw page seventeen…a beautiful buxom blonde, dressed in a faux Catholic school uniform sans shirt and bra.

Grabbing his cell phone, he punched in Sara's code.

"Thank you for calling 1-800-Hot Girl." She answered in a sexy rasp. "Looking for a little motivation, Baby? I'd be happy to…"

"No. Just finished." He closed the magazine and rolled it up in his hand. "But get this…when I was flipping through a copy of Bodacious Babes magazine, guess who I came upon? Tawny!"

After a moment of silence, Sara eked out her question. "Are you telling me you um…used that particular photo to um…that's…oh god, I'm so grossed out….I can't…."

"What? No!" He was appalled she could even entertain the notion. Shouting into the phone, he corrected her misperception. "Of course I didn't use her picture! That's repulsive, Sara! The girl is carrying Greg's child and I know her personally."

"Why the hell do you think I was so freaked out?" She panted with relief.

"I didn't pick up the magazine until after I was done."

"That sounds odd. Why after?"

"I needed to pass some time because…." He rolled his eyes at his lackluster communication attempt. "Look…the reason I was calling was to ask you if you think Greg knows she poses? I got the impression he thinks she only strips topless."

"Ugh! The photo is full frontal?"

"No, just topless but it has that filthy barely legal quality to it. Do you think I should tell him?" He tapped the magazine on the counter. "I mean…what if there's even more than this? What if she's done films? Greg was adamant that he didn't want her stripping anymore because he didn't want guys gawking at the mother of his child. If she's in print that will be difficult. I don't want him to be caught off guard one day when someone, like Hodges, comes up to him and says hey, I saw your baby's mom starring in Tawny Takes on Texas. Trust me…Greg will react badly."

"What's the date on the magazine?"

Unrolling it, he checked. "March."

"Ugh! I hope you're wearing gloves while you're touching that magazine. Who knows how many DNA samples were deposited on its pages in the last six months."

He groaned. "Yes, Dear, I promise to wash my hands."

"I think you have to tell him. Take the magazine with you and let him question her about it. As much as I'd like to for Greg's sake, I don't trust her yet. But I have trust issues so…maybe I'm not the best judge."

He nodded. "I'll call him after I finish here."

"I thought you were finished?" She snickered.

"I still have to meet with someone to finalize the storage details and complete the designee paperwork." He smiled into the phone. "I have to specify that you have custody because, in case something really did happen to me, even though we're married, it's not automatic."

"Now I can really relax." The relief in her voice rang through the phone. "Thank you for doing this for me."

Once again her words put a smile on his face. "Honey, you've got it all wrong. I should be the one thanking you for wanting a part of me this much." His voice softened, "Thank you, Sara."

"Blame my scientific curiosity…I want to see what the product of our combined DNA will be."

"Speaking of product…" He checked his watch. "I better deliver mine to the lab tech before people start thinking I have a problem performing. The troops have a date with some liquid nitrogen and I with some paperwork. I'll call you when I get home, before I catch some sleep. Bye."

LVPD
Crime Lab
10:42 a.m.

Sara was using the isolation of Grissom's office to work on her reports when his phone rang. Glancing up at the display, she saw a phone number but no name. Deciding to play secretary, she answered, "Gil Grissom's office."

When there was no response, she said, "This is Sara Sidle of the Las Vegas Crime Lab. Can I help you with something?"

Because the phone number was still displayed she knew the caller was there. "We must have a bad connection. I can't hear you. If you can hear me, please call back. Thank you."

After hanging up the phone, she waited, but it didn't ring again.

Prompted by her insatiably curious mind, she pressed the last number called feature on the phone and dialed the number.

Five rings later she heard a voice on the end of the line. "Hello."

"Hi, you just called this office and…"

"No, I didn't." The gruff voice said. "I got to the pay phone and it was ringing so I answered it."

"Oh. This is a pay phone?" She grabbed a piece of paper. "Where is it located?"

Greg's Apartment
11:04 a.m.

Grissom stood outside the door of the second floor apartment, waiting for Greg to answer.

"Hey, Gris. Sorry it took me a minute to answer, I was shutting off the stereo so you wouldn't get a migraine." The tone of Grissom's nebulous phone call still fresh on his mind, Greg warily said, "Come on in. You have me a little freaked out. You're not showing up here to fire me, are you?"

"Why would you think that? Guilty conscience?" He narrowed his eyes to a beady stare. "Did you do something bad at the lab I haven't discovered yet?"

"No!" He shut the door. "It's just in all these years you've never come over, so I figured it can't be good."

"I haven't, have I?" He glanced around at the piles of boxes and clothes littering the place.

"It's a little chaotic because we're moving in Tawny's stuff and…"

"When I called you said she wasn't here."

"She's not. She's at her place getting more stuff." He walked over to the couch and moved piles of her clothes to the floor. "Have a seat."

Grissom did as suggested. "I have something I want to share with you."

Greg, anxious to finally hear what brought his boss here, took a seat next to him.

"Earlier today…" Grissom reached into his blue jacket and pulled out the Bodacious Babes magazine he had taken from the doctor's office. "…I was flipping through this magazine and…take a look at page seventeen."

Greg broke into an amused grin. "I really felt we've been bonding a lot lately, but I'm a little surprised you came here to show me your porn."

"It's not my porn. It belongs to the Fertility Institute. I took it but I didn't steal it…I paid them for it." Realizing his penchant for honesty was digging him deeper into a hole, he groaned. "Look…it doesn't matter how I got it, just look at page seventeen." Then he considered the impression he might have given Greg. "For the record, there's nothing wrong with me, I was making a deposit in a Savings Account that Sara forced me to open after the accident."

"Is she afraid your nuts are gonna get crushed in a freak accident?"

"Yes. Now will you take the damn magazine already?"

"Okay…okay." Greg took it and turned to the specified page.

Grissom saw the disappointment resonating in Greg's eyes. "I take it you didn't know she posed?"

"Uh…no." Tossing the magazine on the coffee table, he crashed against the back of the couch. "Damn it!"

"That's what I was afraid of. I wanted you to find out before it came to light in a more unpleasant situation."

"Here's the thing." Feeling like scum for the hundredth time this week, his emotions soared. "Two weeks ago if you had shown that to me, I would have been psyched. I would have shown Warrick and Nick and bragged about the hottie on page seventeen being my daily booty call. Now suddenly I'm appalled. I'm such a friggin' hypocrite!" He grabbed his hair with his hands. "I never thought I was a pig until all of this happened. You wonder how girls end up like Tawny? What chance do they have when guys like me are around taking advantage of them while pretending to be decent? I'm nothing but a wolf in sheep's clothing! Do you realize she thought I was a better guy than the rest of the slime that have used her because I brought breakfast and didn't leave immediately after the sex! Krispy Kremes! A damn donut made me a decent guy to her!" Rocking back and forth on the couch he moaned. "Oh my god…you should fire me. I don't have the moral caliber for the job. I'm scum. Scum!"

"Try to calm down for me, okay?" Still learning to deal with his and Sara's emotions, he wasn't practiced at dealing with other people's blow outs. "I uh…I think you're being too hard on yourself first of all. Secondly, the true test of your moral caliber isn't what you did before Tawny told you she was pregnant…it's what you've done since."

"You think so, huh?" Leaning forward, he plunked his head in his hands. "Yesterday…she…she offered to terminate the pregnancy. It was making her sick thinking about it, but she was going to do it as a favor to me because…she thinks I am a good guy who doesn't deserve to be saddled with her and a baby." His voice cracking from the mounting stress he had yet to release because he was determined to be strong for Tawny, he fought to continue. "You know the worst part… how much I wanted to say yes. I wanted to make it all go away…her…the baby…my own baby. One minute I was stressing about my future and the next I saw an easy way out. I…I'm sorry, I didn't mean to drop all this on you. It's just…you and Sara are the only ones who know and…"

"Greg…" Grissom wrung his hands, uncomfortable from the emotional display. "You're under tremendous pressure. It's okay to be confused. It's a huge decision and not something you want to rush. You have several weeks."

Lifting his head, Greg used the back of his sleeve to dry his eyes. "Have you ever known a person who seemed one trauma away from the point of no return? Someone so damaged by their past that they hid behind a façade hoping no one would ever see their pain? But one day you realize the pain is there and you have to make a choice…you can either support her or be one more disappointment in her life?"

He knew the feeling all too well and his tone reflected the angst it evoked. "A person traumatized by her past. A person looking for someone to finally come through for them…someone who won't turn and run when the going gets tough." In his mind he saw himself outside Sara's hospital room in Tahoe faced with the same decision…support or disappoint. Even though Sara had absolved him, he couldn't get beyond the mistake. Why, he wondered? Is absolution only effective if you've forgiven yourself? When can you absolve yourself? Maybe only when you're in the same situation again and choose differently? "What did you do, Greg?"

His voice steady again, he answered, "I was so close to saying yes. So close. Then I saw the pain in her eyes and…I couldn't do it. In that moment I realized how far I was about to go to save my ass from any pain. When I looked at Tawny, I knew if I made her go through with her offer, it would be the last straw for her. Her self-worth would have sunk so low I don't think she would have recovered." Breathing deep he hoped to steady himself. "That's when I realized it was time to stop thinking about what would be easiest for me. Avoiding pain at her expense wasn't something I could live with the rest of my life. I told her no."

He wasn't sure how long he stared at Greg before asking, "Did you figure all of that out in one day?"

"No. In ten minutes."

"And what was her reaction?" The question really…how would Sara have reacted if I had walked into her hospital room in Tahoe?

His expression lightened. "She was grateful that someone finally cared about her enough to stick around when she needed them. She told me she wasn't used to anyone caring. She clung to me and cried, but for the first time they weren't tears of sorrow, they were tears of joy. That's when I knew I made the right choice." He studied his boss's perplexed expression. "Do you think I made the right choice?"

"Absolutely." He replied without hesitation. "Emerson said, 'self-sacrifice is the real miracle out of which all the reported miracles grow'." When he showed up at Sara's apartment begging for one more chance she sacrificed her pride and in doing so, she gave him a chance at happiness. In return he was there for her a month later when she broke down over her childhood trauma. It's a cycle…give a piece of yourself, reap the rewards of generosity and then give something back again.

"What does that mean exactly?"

"Tawny was willing to sacrifice her peace of mind for yours, but instead of taking from her, you decided to give her something. One act led to another and now the possibilities are endless."

"True…because I have no idea where we'll end up."

"I knew a man who walked away when the going got rough. Unlike you, he left the mother of his child and the child behind. He took the easy way out and he never looked back. He's scum. Don't worry about your moral caliber. You're a different kind of man, Greg. I have no doubt you'll be a great father…except for ruining your child on bad music."

"Funny…I could say the same about you."

The sound of the front door opening interrupted their laughter.

"I'm back," Tawny cheerily announced as she walked in wearing a powder blue tank top, white shorts and rhinestone studded sandals.

The men stood to greet her.

"Mr. Grissom!" She squealed. "I was so happy to hear you got out alive!" Bounding over she opened her arms and, when she reached him, she threw them around his neck. "I didn't know Greg's friend Sara was your wife! My heart was breaking for her when I saw her on TV. I'm so glad there was a happy ending for you! Just like in the movies!"

This was the fourth time he encountered Tawny and the fourth personal space violation he had received from her. "Thank you." Instead of returning the hug, he patted her on the back with his right hand. "I'm fine, really."

Greg sought to rescue his boss from his overly affectionate roommate. "Don't I get a hug?"

Immediately she retreated and tossed her arms around Greg's neck. "Anytime." As she hugged him, her eyes fell upon the skin magazine on the coffee table. "Oh god." She jumped back. "Were the two of you looking at…"

Grissom and Greg cringed when they saw Tawny's mortification. "Is that why you were laughing when I came through the door? It's the only time I ever…" Covering her mouth, she raced to the bathroom and shut the door.

Greg hung his head. "It's like a rollercoaster. Just when I think we're done with the twists…"

"They keep coming. I know the feeling." Hearing her crying in the bathroom, Grissom said, "Look…this is my fault. I'll uh…I'll explain why I had the magazine and assure her we weren't laughing."

"Thank you!" Greg exclaimed. "It will be good practice for dealing with a hormonal pregnant woman." He glanced at the clock on the DVD player. "While you calm her down, I'll grab us some lunch. Subway okay?"

"Ah…" Grissom heard her wailing. "I didn't mean I would…she's hysterical."

"Remember Emerson?" Greg smiled. "Please give me a little self-sacrifice because I really need the mental break. Please?"

Overflowing with trepidation, he replied, "Make mine turkey on wheat no mayo."

"I won't forget this!" He ran to the door so Grissom had no time to change his mind.

Standing outside the bathroom door listening to Tawny's sobs, Grissom fought the urge to flee. "Uh…Tawny." He rapped lightly. "I'd really like to clear things up about the magazine. I swear we weren't laughing at you. Could you um…could you come out and give me a chance to explain?"

"I'm too embarrassed," She blurted.

"Well uh…I'm embarrassed for having the magazine. So since we're equally embarrassed we cancel each other out, right?" He leaned against the wall. "But it's okay…I can talk to you from out here if you prefer."

A moment later she opened the door. With a wad of tissues in her hand, she stepped out of the room. "It was the only time I ever posed," She sniffled. "I was seeing this guy and he arranged it without me knowing. He told me it was for him for Valentine's Day. Like an idiot, I signed some paper without reading it through. I thought it was just the photographer's policy information…you know like you can't make copies on your own." She paused to blow her nose. "Next thing I know…I'm in the magazine. Pretty shitty thing for him to do, huh?"

"Very." He avoided looking directly into her red swollen eyes.

"I was so stupid. I shouldn't have signed the paper without reading. I know you're a genius so you're probably thinking this kind of stupidity is pretty typical for a high school dropout."

"Don't be too sure." He smiled. "How do you think KTBC was able to show that intimate footage of Sara and me? We signed a paper, but we didn't specify that only direct interview footage could be shown. The paper gave them permission to air anything shot that day. Sara and I both have Ph.Ds and we made the same mistake. But our real mistake, yours too, was trusting someone we shouldn't have trusted, right?"

Blotting the last of her tears, she nodded and walked over to the couch.

Once he joined her, taking a seat next to her, he told her what someone should have told her years ago. "Tawny, most people aren't to be trusted."

"Yeah…I've had a chance to learn that lesson dozens of times, but it doesn't seem to sink in."

"Because you were still hoping it wasn't true." Glancing away he remarked, "It's something I learned when I was ten and it stuck with me a little too well. See the thing is, I said most people aren't to be trusted, not all people. You went to one extreme and gave everyone a chance to prove the theory wrong and got burned every time. I went in the opposite direction. I didn't give anyone a chance and while I missed out on the pain of getting burned, I almost missed out on living. Neither of us was wise, but intelligence had nothing to do with why we did what we did."

"What about Greg?" She softly asked. "I trust him"

He returned his gaze to her. "He's definitely someone you can trust. And so am I."

"Why did you bring the magazine?" She asked hoping there was a decent explanation.

"It was in a medical office and when I saw you were in there, I thought Greg should know because he believed you only stripped."

Her baffled expression supported her question. "Why would they have porn in a medical office?"

"Uh…" Flustered by the inquiry, he released a nervous chuckle. "Okay, if you knew me better, you'd know I never divulge personal information so…this is huge. It was a fertility place. Sara and I are trying to have a baby and she wanted me to…um…store something…you know, in case things don't work out naturally and we have to take more invasive measures one day. These places put magazines in the room for guys who need a little motivation. Not that I did! And certainly not with that particular magazine. I saw it afterwards when I was waiting for the Lab Tech."

He watched her staring straight ahead. "Are you okay?"

In the lost voice of a little girl, she asked, "You a very smart man so maybe you can answer this for me. Do you think…when people die…can they see what we're doing? Are they watching us?" Turning to face him, she said, "Since I was sixteen I've been doing things that I would never want my father to know. Do you think he knows? If he knows he must hate me."

"That's a…people, depending on their spiritual background, will answer that differently."

"What's your answer? You're about fifty. Is your father dead?"

"My father stopped watching what I was doing when I was a boy." Leaning back against the couch, he sighed, trying to find an intellectual response that would also bring her peace. "Do I think people who have died can literally see the things we are doing? No, I don't believe they can. I think that's a tool that people use to enforce guilt or behavior or any number of things religions like to impose."

"So he doesn't know the things I've done." A fresh set of tears began welling. "Because he loved me so much and was always so proud of me."

"If he could see, don't you think he would feel far worse about leaving you vulnerable than he would about anything you've done?" His question caused the dam holding her tears to break. And in that moment of raw vulnerability he asked the burning question, not for his sake or Greg's, but for hers. "Why did you run away from home, Tawny?"

Only one time in his life had he seen pain manifest itself so strongly…the day Sara told him about her parents.

"Sara?" He called out as he walked down the hall toward the bathroom. "Honey, are you sure you're okay?" When she didn't answer, he knocked lightly. "Can I come in?" Getting no response, he tried the doorknob which he was relieved to find unlocked. "Sara…"

Peering inside, he saw her sitting in the corner of the bathroom, tears pouring down her cheeks. "Honey, what is it?" He rushed to her side. "Whatever it is you can tell me."

Trying to catch her breath she replied, "I…I think I need help. I've never told anyone this before…"

"I've never told anyone this before," She sobbed. "About a year after my dad died, my mom…she let her boyfriend move in with us. At first it was great, he really seemed to care about me like a daughter but then…he started looking at me funny…leering. One day, when my mom was at work he um…he started touching me and kissing me. He made me touch him. It was a week before my sixteenth birthday and he was forty. I was so scared. I couldn't wait to tell my mom so she could kick him out, but when I told her she called me a liar. She wasn't like that with my dad, but this guy…she needed him I guess…needed him more than me anyway. She chose her new family over me. I knew if I stayed it would only be a matter of time before he…" Unable to continue, she collapsed against Grissom's body.

"You're safe now," He soothed as he forced himself beyond his comfort zone and wrapped his arm around her. "Believe me, I know it hurts to have a parent choose someone else over you. But it was your mother's choice and it wasn't based on anything you did. You can't blame yourself for her choice. It's easy to do, but you need to stop." It was a lesson he figured out pretty quickly after his father abandoned him.

"But maybe I did something to make him think…maybe my clothes or…"

"Stop! He was with your mother and he was forty years old…you were fifteen." His sadness flashed into anger. Lifting her out of his arms, he gently gripped her shoulders. "There is no excuse that justifies his behavior. None! Do you hear me? If you were telling me this as a fifteen year old, I'd be nailing the guy's ass to the wall for child molestation. What he did is a crime. If there was physical evidence in existence today, I'd go after him right now. You did nothing wrong. He did. Tell me you understand that."

"I've never seen you get angry."

"Very few things in life make me angry…this is one of them. The things I've seen and heard…it builds over time." He exhaled sharply. "Now…I'm still waiting for you to tell me you understand you did nothing wrong."

She swallowed hard. "I …understand."

"Good." When he released his grip, he said, "Now, I want you to promise you'll do something." He reached for his wallet and pulled out Dr. Myers' business card and gave it to her. "She's an excellent doctor. I consult with her on special cases. She's had great success with her patients. Don't worry about paying her because she does pro-bono work if I arrange it."

"Pro-bono?"

"It means she'll work for you without you compensating her." He smiled. "Give me a day to set it up with her office and then call for an appointment. Promise me you'll see her, because the issues you have to deal with are bigger than you or Greg can handle."

"I promise." A smile found it way to her face. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Grabbing the magazine off the coffee table, he ripped it in two. "Now let's throw this away."

"Please!" She followed him into the kitchen. "The trash is under the sink."

When he opened the cabinet door he saw the plastic container and tossed the publication.

"Do you think every fertility clinic has a copy?"

"I don't know but…" He chuckled. "…knowing my wife, I'll probably be at every one at some point. It's only a matter of time before she panics about cyroprotection facilities failure and has me securing a backup site."

"Well, if you see one anywhere, anytime, please destroy it."

"I promise."

While they were in the kitchen, the front door swung open. "I'm back." Greg was thrilled to see Tawny out and not hysterical.

"I'll take my sandwich to go." Grissom hurried over and snatched the bag Greg was extending. "Have a good night at work. And Tawny, don't forget to do what I asked."

"I won't let you down," She replied with the verve of an eager child.

After a quick nod, Grissom fled the apartment, grateful to be out of the hot zone. When he reached the bottom of the stairs, he grabbed his cell phone and quickly paged through the directory until he found the number for Dr. Myers. He was at his car door when her secretary answered.

"Dr. Myers's office, Tracy speaking."

"Hi, Tracy, it's Gil Grissom."

"Hello, Mr. Grissom. We were so relieved you came out of the building accident without harm. We were worried about Sara too." A light chuckle radiated through the phone. "Until we saw the two of you on the news. Then we knew you were both fine."

"Yeah…we've been hearing a lot about that." He opened his car and slipped inside. "Hey, I was calling because I need to set up something. I have a new patient I need Dr. Myers to see. Same deal as Sara. Bill everything to me, but do you think you can do me a favor? I don't want this person to know I'm footing the bill. I told her it would be pro bono. Think Dr. Myers would mind if we kept the financial arrangement a secret from the patient? She's the girlfriend of a friend and I want to help them." He flipped the ignition while waiting for a reply.

"We've done it before when there's a good reason. I don't see a problem."

"Great. Her name is Tawny and she'll be calling tomorrow. She'll probably be a little nervous."

"I'll make sure she gets the royal treatment."

"Thanks, Tracy. Have a good day."

"You too, Mr. Grissom. Bye."

No sooner did he hang up the phone than did it ring. "Grissom."

Silence was the only response.

"Hello? Can you hear me?" Pulling the phone away he checked the caller ID, the number was there but the name came up as…unavailable. "We must have a bad connection. I can't hear you." He clicked off the phone and then dialed back the number. Ten rings later, he hung up. "Must have been a wrong number."