It was Monday, Adam's first day back at school, two weeks after he had been discharged from the hospital and cleared to be fit for duty. Or school, in this case. There were still a few scrapes on his face that were healing in their own time. His right hand, where he had broken his wrist, was also still in the cast. And it would be for another week at least. Until then he had to rely on his friends and co-students to take notes during class for him.

Luke, Grace, Friedman, Glynis and Joan had trailed him throughout the day wherever possible, he had felt like a weak little duckling, being watched over by a whole flock of mother ducks. But the truth was, he was glad that he had such good friends that cared and worried about him. And even though he didn't like to admit it, the few hours of classes today had tired him out pretty good.

School was now over, the bell had just rung. After checking his locker, he had taken his bag and gone outside. Joan was not in sight. Friedman, Glynis, Luke and Grace had gone home, their classes had ended earlier. In half an hour, Joan and him were to meet with Luke and Grace to study for AP Physics. So, where was Joan? It was a warm and sunny day, so Adam sat down on the lawn in front of the school, waiting for her to come out of the building.

He didn't have to wait long, five minutes later she came hurrying out. She saw him sitting on the lawn and went up to him. "Sorry, Mr. Hershey imposed this," her voice took on a sarcastic tone, "really interesting talk upon me about how the French revolution related current events in national history and ... oh, you don't wanna hear about that." For the first time since she had gone babbling on about her history teacher, she looked at Adam's face and saw the tiredness in his features. She had been meaning to rouse him to join their physics study group, but decided to cut Adam some slack, so she sat down next to him.

Her face in a slight frown, she said, "You look tired. You okay?"

He waved it off. "Yeah, it's nothing. I just ... I guess I have to get used again to running around again the whole day."

They sat in silence for a few seconds. Joan's gaze was directed at the cast on Adam's right arm. "Does it hurt?" she asked, pointing her hand in the direction of his right arm.

He looked at it himself. "Naw, not really. It'll come off next week, I hope."

Joan nodded. "That's good." Then she drew in a breath and said, "Adam, can I ask you something?"

Adam looked at Joan, a questioning expression on his face. "Sure."

"When you were ... you know ... unconscious, do you remember anything? Could you feel or see or hear anything?" Joan looked away, as if a little embarrassed to ask such a personal question.

Adam absentmindedly plucked a leaf of grass from the lawn with his left hand and rolled it between his fingers. "I ... I don't know. After I fell down that slope, I remember feeling pain. I think I must have drifted in and out, and eventually I blacked out. I don't think I felt anything after that for a long time."

Adam paused. Joan had studied Adam, frowning as his words formed, but now she looked away at her hands. "It's just ... I talked to you so much in the hospital, sometimes for hours on end. I just wanted to know if any of that reached you."

Adam didn't know what to say. His brow furrowed. "Towards the end, probably the day or a few hours before I woke up, it was like ... like when you wake up in the morning, those few seconds before you're fully awake and still halfway between sleep and wakefulness. It felt kinda like that."

Adam now looked at Joan and she could see he was searching for a way to express what he wanted to say. "You know, like you're underwater with your eyes open. You can sense things, you hear things but they don't make sense, don't form coherent words. You wanna say something, but you can't, you can only listen, and even then you can't tell where you are and what's happening. It's like you want to swim to the surface but don't know which way is up or down.

"You know, maybe this is all in my head, or maybe it was real, but that day I woke up, I knew you were there. It was like in the movies, I was in a place where I was torn between fighting to come back or to just let go. And I kinda sensed you through the haze, like you were showing me a light that I should swim towards, so you could pull me up to the surface." He paused. "That just sounds so phony," Adam added, almost embarrassed.

Joan looked at him, tears forming in her eyes. "No, Adam, it's not phony, it's beautiful. And I'm glad you swam towards the light." She wiped at the tears that now fell down her cheeks.

"So am I, Jane," Adam said, looking at her. "You know, you now saved my life twice. I ... don't know how I can ever repay that. And ..." His eyes took on a sad and genuinely sorry expression. "I know I already told you I was sorry about what I did with Bonnie. I mean, I am sorry, I wish so much it had never happened. I ... I don't know what I was thinking then. And afterwards, all I could think about was you and how much I had just hurt you, even though you didn't even know that yet then."

Joan wasn't sure what to say, or even if should be saying anything. She opened her mouth, but Adam cut off anything she would have said by going on.

"I was so ashamed of myself. I hated myself so much." Thinking back on that terrible afternoon when Joan had found out that he had slept with Bonnie, his eyes filled with tears. "You know, as much as it hurt me then, I think you were right to break up with me after the mock trial. All wanted then was for you to forgive me and tell me it was all right. But now I understand that you couldn't."

Tears were now rolling down Adam's cheeks and he made no attempt at wiping them away. Joan just couldn't stand seeing Adam so vulnerable and hurt, so she carefully put her arm around his shoulders and drew him towards her. He gave in to her gentle prodding and laid his head in her lap. Joan softly wiped his tears away with her thumb, careful not to touch any of the cuts and scrapes and stroked his soft hair that was curling ever so slightly in her lap. In a low voice she told him, "I know, Adam. A part of me wanted to forgive you right away, but the part of me that was hurt and heartbroken took over."

She briefly paused, thinking it was now her turn to apologize. "Do you remember back in the bookshop, when you told me that you got fired?"

He looked up at her from her lap, whispering, "Yeah."

"Look, I kinda meant what I said, and then again I didn't mean it at the same time. You hurt me, Adam, and I wanted you to feel that same hurt. I know it's twisted, but for a split second I felt good about it. But the truth is, I was sorry immediately afterwards. And when I heard you had gone missing in the woods, I felt so guilty. I was really scared. I thought..." She paused, not knowing how to say it. "You know..." She let the words trail off.

Adam looked up at her, surprised and almost shocked. "What? No, no. No. I could never do that to you." Then he looked away from Joan's face. "I'm sorry, Jane. I didn't mean to drag you through a whole other mess, you know."

"I know. I'm just glad that you're okay." She stopped touching his hair. "Adam, there are times where I wanna go back to how things were before ... you know ... the Bonnie thing. But I'm not sure I can do that just yet. I think for now all I can do is to be friends. I know what I said to you in the bookshop, but it takes too much energy to pretend that we're not connected anymore. It's like the scarf. It's all one piece of yarn. If you cut it up into little pieces, it's useless, you can't make anything out of it. We still are connected, Adam, just in a different way."

Adam looked at Joan. "That's the hard part."

"And the good part," Joan added.

"Yeah," he said, almost whispering. He propped himself up and got to his feet. He extended his left hand, the one without the cast to her to help her up. "Let's go, Luke and Grace are waiting for us."

Joan took his proffered hand and he pulled her up. But when she was standing upright, he didn't immediately let go of her hand, instead he drew Joan closer and said, "Before we go, let me do this." With that he hugged her close.

Joan didn't know how to react. It felt so good to be close to Adam, but something inside her still rejected such intimate physical contact with him. She gave him a little squeeze back, but not too much for fear that might give him the wrong idea. He released her as suddenly as he had hugged her and said, "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For visiting me every day. For being there. For saving my life."

"Adam, you know I would do it again in a heartbeat. And I know you would do the same for me."

Adam simply replied, "Yeah, I would."

Before the situation could get more uncomfortable, Joan nodded towards the way to the street. "Come on, before Grace gets upset and irritable."

Adam smiled, "Isn't she always upset and irritable?"

Joan gave him a good-natured elbow-nudge in the ribs. "Hey, show a little respect for your friends!"

Adam lifted his arms in mock resignation. "Okay, okay."

Joan smiled as well. It was really the first time she was feeling comfortable being around Adam again. And it felt good.

She saw the bus approaching the bus stop and grabbed Adam's hand. "Come on!"

They both darted off towards the bus stop, just barely jumping into the bus before the doors closed behind them.

THE END.