NOTES: Thanks for your nice reviews. Thanks also to my great beta Miss Malfoy! So… let the plot unfold (with a little side dish of more fluff!)
BEHIND THE MIRROR
River bit her lip, leaning against the wall with one hand. She tried to concentrate on the texture of the rough material, the cold metal under her fingers. She tried to focus on something else, anything… as another wave of nausea swept over her. Fighting down the increasing panic she felt, River squeezed her eyes shut. This was too-familiar ground. She remembered this sense of losing control.
The flash hit her like a violent blow, bringing her to her knees.
No visions, no movement ……just sound and sensation; a rapid series of impressions too hazy to hold on to them. A voice… soft and light like a breeze.
"I know my place. I am not the lady of your house. I can never be the mother of your children. I swear on my life, my love for you… no harm will come to her, who is all that I will never be."
…but those were not her words. River knew she had never spoken them…
Warm fingers closing her hand around the cool, sleek sheath of the dagger. His voice was dark, controlled like all of his actions.
"She will never be what you are to me. You were my mistress before family and duty brought me and her together as husband and wife."
"I know my place… in love and honour."
Jayne awoke with the sensation of something tickling his chin.
"Where you been?" he whispered roughly, realizing that it was River's crawling back into bed with him that must have woken him up. He could not really see her, but the slender body that huddled up to him in the dark was shaking like a leaf.
"River?" he mumbled, his voice still heavy with sleep. He threw one arm around her delicate shoulders, to pull her closer. The shivering didn't stop. Jayne pressed his lips together, ignoring the growing feeling of unease as he sat up to lean against the headboard. Suddenly he wished for that earful he was still expecting for the events at the bar.
"Gorramit girl, I can damn near hear your ruttin´ teeth rattle. What is it?"
He could feel her hair sliding across his chest and against his throat as she buried her face in the crook of his neck. She attentively moved two fingers over the scar on his chest as though she was testing if it was still there. When she answered her voice sounded so small and insecure. It hadn't sounded like that in a long time. Jayne didn't like it one bit.
"I have these dreams." River took a deep breath. "These strange dreams I don't understand… these flashes that she can't explain. I know she is trying to tell me something, but she doesn't know how. I listen, I do… I try… but she's talking in riddles!"
Jayne's hand came down to push the hair out of her face.
"You think that ruttin´ thing is playing you?" he asked roughly.
River shook her head, cuddling up to his huge frame even more.
"She is not. But she wants to convey something to me, something significant about the sword and the dagger and something else of great importance and for some reason she cannot come out and say it." She took a deep breath while he waited for her to elaborate.
"She's not alive. She is artificial. It's as though she doesn't know how to impart this information to me. She is not bound to our logic… and I don't understand…"
"But you had those kinda flashes before, hadn't you?"
River swallowed hard in an effort not to cry. She didn't want to worry him, but right now a part of her needed to be weak. Right now that part needed to be cared for, needed to be sheltered and safe. And as long as she could think back, the walking contradiction that was Jayne Cobb was the only one who had ever made her feel just that. Safe.
"Yes, but not like that. Not this vivid. I close my eyes and suddenly I see. I saw the concubine's tattoo when Book told us about the legend; I saw it clear as day, Jayne! The two dragons intertwined, playing ……chasing after a ball of fire."
Jayne furrowed his brow, leaning his cheek against the top of her head, one hand stroking River's back soothingly until he felt the shivering subside. He could tell that all this was making her very upset and that unsettled him. He had gotten so used to her being so strong. He had almost forgotten that there had been a time when… he smiled grimly. Nah… even when River hadn't been all there… she had always been strong. Even back then.
"I dreamt of her." River continued slowly, realising how just being near him, his strength was calming her nerves. "I dreamt of how they came to kill her. It felt so real, as though I was watching it from afar."
"You sure this ain't just some weird coincidence?"
River shook her head again. " I'm sure. She… the other thing, she's trying to tell me something. I don't understand it and… that scares me."
Jayne chuckled, cupping her cheek with his free hand. "Aw… c'mon. It's a ruttin' dream, sparrow. It can't hurt ya." The mercenary hooked one finger under her chin to make her look up at him, even though he could barely make out her features in the darkness of his cabin. "You're the smart one, River. The ruttin' genius!"
"But what if…" River reached up to take the hand that was holding her chin up. She felt the reassuring hardness of his fingers, the calluses of a man who worked with weapons. River closed her hand around his fingers before she gave voice to her deepest fear.
"I'm so afraid that I'm losing my mind again!"
Jayne cocked an eyebrow at her, chewing over her words for a moment. "Listen to me, River Tam!" he said, his voice taking on that very serious note he seldom used, his face grim. "Listen gorram well to what I'm gonna tell you now! I can see this got you ruttin' scared and I wish I could do sumthin' bout all this. Gotta say, most of the time I ain´t got no clue what's going on in that brilliant mind of yours. I may not have your kinds of smarts. But the one gorram thing I know, is that whatever those idiots at that academy- that I'll sure as hell burn down if we ever come across it- did to you; you conquered it. You made your peace with that murderous thing inside your head. What's more, you made it your ally, your own. You were stronger than all that gorram stuff. That's how I know that you're not gonna go all crazy on me again. My girl ain´t gonna let a few weird dreams take her down. You hear me?"
He could feel her nod her head where it rested in the crock of his neck.
"Good! Cause I know you'll figure it out with that gorram bright brain of yours. So what if ya don't understand that thing right now? In time you'll figure things out. You always do."
"How can you be so sure?"
Jayne shrugged, sliding back into a lying position, pulling the upper part of her body onto his chest. " Figured me out in no time, didn't ya?" he asked with a smile.
River couldn't help but laugh at that. Jayne grinned to himself. He was definitely getting better with that gorram 'feeling' stuff. Of course he'd never admit it and if anyone dared to imply that Jayne Cobb had softened somewhat due to the tiny slip of a girl snuggling up to him, he'd rip them a new one. Still… he couldn't help but feel good about having managed to comfort her.
"You'll be fine."
"Really?"
"Gorrammit, girl! Would I lie to you?"
"Well ……" Malcolm Reynolds took another deep breath, staring at the ceiling. "I'd say that was ……"
"Yes… it was…" Even if Inara had wanted to, she wouldn't be able to wipe the smile off her face for even a second. She rolled onto her side, propping herself up on one elbow in order to better look at the man who was lying next to her on his back.
"Looks like we had a real breakthrough in our relationship back there, wouldn't you say?" Malcolm Reynolds asked, rolling his head to the side to look at her. Inara let the breath she hadn't even realized holding out in an almost inaudible sigh. For a moment, just looking at him lying there had seemed too surreal to be true. An overwhelmingly big part of her had feared that after the fog of passion and need had cleared, they would end up right where they had started. That nothing would have changed, that he'd retract back into his hard shell, maybe even be embarrassed… Maybe even ask himself if anything she'd done or felt had been overshadowed by her profession.
Inara allowed herself to smile at him, not the schooled smile of the companion, but her own vulnerable smile. "Several, you might even say…" she answered huskily.
Mal grinned at that. He tried not to think of how complicated things were about to get, how not-smooth things were bound to go now. He didn't want to think of that now. But did things really had to get complicated?
He narrowed his eyes, taking her in. She truly was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen in his life. In the golden light of the candles her perfectly smooth skin seemed to glow from the inside, her bedazzling eyes never leaving his face. And she had given him an out, a way to not make things complicated….
"So back there… what you said, you know… before…"
"About how no one can know?" she asked, arching her perfectly sculptured eyebrows.
"Yeah… ´bout that." Mal turned onto his side too, propping himself up on his elbow to mirror her position. "You know that might not be such a bad idea, to keep this to ourselves until…"
"…until we figured out where this is going?" Inara completed the sentence as Mal simultaneously reached out a hand to weave his free hand into her shimmering tresses.
"That's where I was going with that."
"I know, that's why I told you that no one should know to begin with."
"Good thinkin'!"
"'Cause you're bound to mess this up if you thought people knew!" Inara added.
"I would not…" The companion arched both eyebrows at him until he frowned. As much as he hated to admit it, Inara might have a point there. Mal decided to forgo the discussion about that for now.
"So… while we figure this all out… We can still keep doing… this, right?" He let one of his hands playfully slide upwards on the warm skin of her thigh. Inara watched him interestedly.
"I think our relationship might profit from a few more breakthroughs," she answered mischievously, her eyes following the path of Mal's hand.
"Shiny!"
"You are planning to steal it, aren't you?"
Mal didn't even look up at her question, mesmerized by the circles his fingers were drawing on Inara's thigh.
"Whatever do you mean?"
"The set… the two dragon blades."
"That is the job," he affirmed. Then something came to his attention, something he remembered from the schematics of the security system and an even wider grin spread on his handsome features. "Oh… this is too good! You almost made me forget…"
"I take that as a compliment!" Inara said, studying his face. The flickering light of the candles painted moving shadows on his face, but his eyes were all for her.
"Please do."
Inara nodded, letting her fingers wander over one of his broad shoulders. "You know where they are, don't you? The sword and dagger… of course you do."
"So do you, Wash told me you already set a course for Thalia."
"Yeah… but the schematics of the security system… of that whole building!" Malcolm Reynolds let himself fall back onto his back, laughing out loud. " Oh… this is too rich!"
Inara attentively put one hand on his chest, scooting closer until she leaned over him. "The house of blossoms on Thalia… the motherhouse of the Companion guild," she whispered.
"You can get in there, can't you?" Mal asked, his hands closing behind her back.
"You want me to help you steal two objects from our motherhouse that the guild looks upon almost like a reliquary?"
Mal stared up at her beautiful face, taking in the wondrous fact that he was in fact there… in her bed… with Inara in all her striking glory leaning over him and against his chest. And suddenly, as though that reality had just sunk in, Malcolm Reynolds was lost for words.
Inara gazed back into his eyes as a seductive smile came to her lips. "Well… before you think about how I can help you and the crew steal from the guild, why don't we see what you can do for me first?"
River pressed one hand to her forehead in an attempt to concentrate. She tried to focus on her breathing. Pulling her legs up to her chest, she rested her forehead on her knees. She tried to push all conscious thought to the back of her mind, calling out to the other thing.
Waiting…
"You are… tense…" it whispered and River could feel its cold fingers pushing her hair back from her face. She lifted her head. They were sitting on the bridge in the Japanese park.
"The dream…." she said, looking into her own, dark eyes, her own… but there was no warmth. On the other thing her features were devoid of any emotion. "It was dream, wasn't it? Not a vision, not a memory… I cannot remember things I have never seen."
The other thing nodded. "You dreamt, little sister, but you dreamt it… as it has happened."
"How can that be? How can you know that?"
It shrugged. "I do. We do… we just know… even if we do not know where the source of this knowledge lies."
"Why did I see that?" River asked, staring into the other thing's soulless eyes.
"What is it you are trying to tell me?"
It leaned in, putting its cold, cold hands around River's face very gently, kissing her on the forehead. Then it leaned even closer to whisper into River's ear. "Look closer, little sister. See with her eyes… not yours!"
"I don't understand!" But even as she said it River could feel her focus, her point of view shifting as the dream started to replay in front of her inner eye.
River gasped, suddenly thrown down onto the wooden floor of a wide terrace. Blinding pain shoot through her as she lay on her side, struggling for breath. Something was stuck in her side ….the dagger's hilt sticking out of her body, wrenched in between her two lowest ribs. She could hear laughter; see men's boots walking past her… still she struggled for breath.
She closed her eyes for a moment, preparing for the effort, the pain to come. Then forced her body to sit up, turning her head to follow her enemy's movements. She curled her hand around the dagger's hilt, feeling the dragon's shape under her skin. She bit her lip to keep from crying out as she violently pulled the dagger from her flesh. There was the salty taste of blood on her lips; she could taste it in her mouth. She could feel it running through the fingers she pressed onto the wound.
"See with her eyes, little sister…"
River looked up, finally understanding what it was she was meant to see.
On the broad back of the lacquered armour of her attacker was a painted image of a blue sun, rising against a dark horizon.