W.a.l.t.z o.f t.h.e. P.a.n.t.s
Dedicated to those who wear pants, not those with wings…whoever they might be…
Tao Ren : My pants are me and I am them
'I do not care what the others have to say', thought the shaman named Tao Ren who was destined for greatness. 'They can banter all they want, it shan't make a difference. For they know...my pants are far superior to theirs!'
Before the wonders of the the pants are described, an enigma must be told. For you see, Ren probably has the most pairs of pants out of all the characters in Shaman King! And to tell the story of just a pair of pants would be a shame. There is almost an inummerable amount of of pants, and if they aren't acknowledged, they won't ever have the chance to tell the world of their wonders. And that...would just be sad!
At first glance, Ren's navy blue shorts (they aren't exactly PANTS, but use your imagination!), appear to be just shorts. But there is more to them than just appearance; more than what is on the surface, my friend.
These pants (yes, the authoress is well aware that they are shorts but no matter! They're going to be PANTS in this story!), enabled Ren to do those seemingly magical things on television, the manga, in dreams and crazed fantasies which Ren does not want to know about (even if they're about his pants...)!
Things such as when he says (to Yoh), "Ha ha, you pathetic excuse for a pants-wearer! I'm gonna beat the pants off of your pants!". This quote would probably only be said in a perfect world, in a world where pants shall rule w/ squirrels as thier mistresses!
Don't forget the time when he was in la la la land - he stated, "I will become Ruler of the Pants!" And "I'm wearing evil pants right now, so get out of my pants storage closet if you don't want to die!"
Those quotes were highly amusing, yes? Well, you have not even heard the BEST of the BEST! It's when he said (in a perfect world, remeber?), "I will become the Pants King, even if ponies stomple me to the ground!"
Hooray! The description of the most festive, manly looking pants you ever heard of is coming up!
These pants were intriguing. They had a certain aura to them. Navy blue, long, baggy, w/ a nice cheerful bow at the top that's white. There are yellow to golden stitches on the side, in the shape of X's. It made many passersby cry if they were lucky enough to be blinded by their manliness!
Did you think this was over? It's not, friend! There is still one more pair of pants that still needs describing!
These pants were black and had a white ginormous(or however one spells it...) bow to tie at the very top! Although they're very fascinating, they aren't nearly as festive as the navy blue ones w/ gold stitches on the side!
Because three pairs of pants were described, of course three pairs of pants shall waltz! They came to life, instantly declaring, "I'M waltzing with Ren first!" In the process of saying so, they had all jumped on him, tackling him to the ground!
"Silly pants...were you thinking that I would waltz with my own pants? DID YOU?", asked Ren. The pants all nodded. "Well...right you are!"
The pants all waltzed w/ Ren, each taking turns after one song was finished. They floated. They flew. No, they were soaring. The pants were not satisfied. It was not enough to to just waltz. They had to tackle Ren to the ground (again), of course. The Shaman King cast was not quite sure what was happening. It made their brains hurt after thinking too much, so they stopped thinking altogether.
Amazingly enough, they (Shaman King cast) did not laugh this time. It was inevitable. Resistance was futile...the pants were coming, and they were to be the next supreme rulers, the next american idol, the next (insert whatever).
A/N : It is I, the writer of this story! Hello! It was rather short, ne? Does Ren have more than just 3 pairs of pants? I would not know; I have not died. Right...
sakuuya - thanks for reviewing, again! No one else has yet...so I've only acknowledged you! You must feel really special now, too! THE GRAND TOTAL OF REVIEWS IS...9! Thanks to you!