Disclaimer: Shaman King isn't mine
Dedicated to the pants wearing people the world over; may you all be as happy as your pants are.
Marco: Beyond the Starch"Marco, Marco! Look!" said Lyserg gleefully as he modeled his ultra-short shorts that are pants in the presence of Marco. "Does it not reflect the girl in me?" he questioned when Marco did not stir nor look.
"Oh, no. It resembles the silly nonsensical girl sleeping within you perfectly." Marco said. "It saddens me that my pants do not reflect the inner me. My pants are wonderful, yes.....Lyserg, would you please tell me how they look? Are they form fitting?"
"Marco!!! They're WONDERFUL! So white; so starchy! Those spandex things at the bottom of your pants encompass your legs so well! It's a pity that your cloak-like thingy covers up the glorious pants that the entire world should see! It does too resemble you quite a bit, Marco. I don't know how, but it does, in so many ways." said Lyserg enthusiastically.
"I...I'm not worthy, Marco! Truly I'm not! To be in the presence of pants stationed so much higher than mine...I shudder to think what would become of me if I were to SIT on them!" cried Lyserg, while hyperventilating into a paper bag.
"How true, Lyserg! How true! Your unworthy eyes have set themselves upon scanning my pants! You have DEPRECIATED their value! Oh, what WILL the fan girls say?" Marco sniffed. "I should go online and see how many websites they have dedicated to my pants so far, the pants of the great Marco-sama!"
"Marco....(breathes into paper bag), I...I...want to the faithful servant of the...(breathe), PANTS! Please, I....(breathe), promise to never, ever sit on them...(breathe). I know I'll do....(breathe) a good job! I'll (breathe) protect them with my.... (breathe), life if needed!" Lyserg said in an enormous effort.
"Enough talk, Lyserg. I think it high time that I punish you for doing such evil against my pants! Bwa ha ha!" Marco said. He strapped Lyserg to a chair with the stickiest tape he could find. The tape was conveniently located on top of Lyserg's head, for he had been wearing it as a halo and prancing around like he was the Queen of England.
Finding Lyserg's secret stash of butter snacks, he placed them in front of his little green haired friend. "Do you know what these are, Lyserg?" questioned Marco while ginning an evil grin.
"My bubber packs (My butter snacks)!" screamed Lyserg as Marco ate them one by one in front his very eyes. "Yummy yummy! Bwa ha ha!" said Marco as he chomped on the butter. He also laughed a very long, evil, laugh.
"Oh, my. That was very yummy. I think you should hide more of those elsewhere so that I could have the immense pleasure of eating them again!" Marco said, licking the fancy boxes that the butter snacks came in.
"Oh, Marco, is it you? Is it, Marco?" cried out his pants in fear. For a fleeting moment, Marco thought that it was the imaginary voice of his long lost friend, the toaster who had saved his life more than once in high school. Unfortunately for him, the voice belonged to his pants.
"Marco, do you not recognize the pants whom you love so much? The pants whom you are going to spend eternity with you?" asked his pants. "But of course I recognize you, dearest! Let us do a lively gavotte!" Marco said.
"How about no! 'Tis a waltzing story and a waltzing story it shall be!" said the pants. "Hooray! I can hardly contain my joy!" Marco said unsarcastically.
They waltzed into the night, and for many an hour. Lyserg, unable to get free, watched the waltz in pain and joy. No one else was present except for the three of them. (the Shaman King cast hadn't managed to get in; Marco had bribed them with buttercream icing!)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
AN: Muah ha ha! This chapter is as stupid as they'll get. The "REQUEST LINE" is still open! Just be sure to describe that character's pants—very descriptively! So yeah. This story is coming to a close! I wish it would never end, but that's not possible!
To my reviewers!
KimBob –I always love you little monologues! Gah! They're just so funny yet they have an air of cuteness!
Neko-Neko Faust VIII –It's odd that you suggested I do Marco's chapter. I was thinking of doing his if no one requested anything. Ironic, nein? You have PLUSHIES?! I want them too! Such good fortune you have....ha ha! I just think Frankensteiny's adorable. We should have a club! We could call it "The Society of the Squirrels".