=D
Feeling very happy right now because of the olympics and by the way that was gorgeous for Paul Hamm... The women's relay was awesome! And to top it all off, my American GOD Michael Phelps is murdering!...that sexy, sexy beast.
Thank you to the brilliant reviewer who reminded me of Diamond. I think I will put him in =] By the way, for those of you that read the version of chapter 5 where there was this heartwrenching (well, not really) fight, I redid it because I wasn't really satisfied with the outcome as well as one of my reviewers...or maybe it was two...this short term memory is really getting to me...
I know I don't have a lot of reviews right now but I was pretty happy when I checked my mail yesterday and saw the line of responses come in so here it is. Another chapter. A
Disclaimer: My inspiration and little tid bits of my plot are from my favorite manga artist Miki Aihara. Obviously, for the Sailor Moon bit, we all know who that belongs to.
Monarchy Under a Complete Jerk
Chapter 6: Condoms
Serena's POV:
I hummed to myself strolling along to the deli knowing full well that I had no intentions of staying at Darien's place. He said I had to "come over" but never said I had to go into his living quarters. And we both know that the whole floor is his so if I just get the condom delivered...
I walked comfortably down aisle after aisle looking for a condom before I remembered that they don't reside on shelves. I try to casually glance over at the counter and after three very purposeful seemingly accidental slips, I realized all the cashiers were once again, male.
"Damn you all to hell!" I whisper under my breath. Unfortunately, I didn't notice the poor bald little man next to me who apparently thought I was either insane, or speaking to him. Poor bald little man. But anyways, back to the situation at hand. My wonderful Serena intelligence once again urged me to disguise myself (which is, sadly, the only thing I can possibly come up with) and once again, in my last minute and horribly sad floppy hairstyle but with no itchy scarf to cover my face this time, I flare my nostrils as far as they would go and strut up to the counter. In as high and squeaky a voice as I could possibly manage, I asked for a condom before suddenly remembering that I didn't know what size Darien's 'friend' is. A sweatdrop later, my nostrils were getting tired so I just asked for one of each and dropped some money onto the counter. The bag was unceremoniously stuffed under my shirt and I tried not to notice the many little boys and girls asking their moms if I was pregnant with a jagged or pointy baby.
But unfortunately once again, I run into the most embarrassing situation possible as the security guard accuses me of shoplifting and insists on me showing him my receipt and package. And of all security guards in the world, this one just had to be a loud mouthed one. As soon as the condoms were pulled out, he grinned a crooked grin and pulled one that was 10 ½ inches out.
"This one is my size! So little lady...are you planning to be naughty with all these different guys," he gestures at the many condoms in his hand, "or were you just waiting for me?" He winked and shoved the condoms back into the bag and placed it into my hands.
You see, I would have left him alone, had he not called over another fellow security guard to pick out his size too. My blood boiled and the rage built itself higher and higher as I watched the pudgy man bounce over towards us. The first guard tried to take the bag from my hands again and I just snatched it right back.
"Look hear you big oaf," I said jabbing him in his pot belly, "I may be sixteen and I may have a bag full of condoms, but that does NOT in any way imply that I wanted to know the size of your penis! Just because you have no good career and probably cannot get LAID does not mean you can go hitting on OTHER PEOPLE's girls for the fun of it! You are nowhere NEAR as great or good looking as the person who asked me to buy these for him and will never EVER EVER be so I would appreciate it if you got your donut-eating behind as well as his big FAT one and turned the other way and started walking your useless butts along and LEAVE ME TO MY LIFE!!"
The two of them stared at me for a few seconds, probably trying to interpret what I had just said to them before the first one recovered, "You know what, I can get you permanently kicked out of this hear store if you don't tell me your sorry and then shut that hole there!"
"And I can get you put in jail for SEXUAL HARRASSMENT!" His eyes narrowed, "WHAT?! You want to TRY IT?!" As pissed as he was, he knew I was right, though the pudgy one probably had no idea whatsoever with that look on his face. He put his hands up as in a surrendering motion and I turned to leave the store, flicking my hair triumphantly into his face.
Serena: 1
Security guards: 0
On my way down the block, my cell phone started singing in my pocket. It was obviously Darien telling me to hurry up with his condoms. I sighed and flipped it open, not bothering to let him say anything first.
"Yea yea, hurry up I know. The security guard held me up. I'll be there with the condoms in a minute," and I snapped my phone closed muttering curses to him under my breath.
I half expected him to call back because I had hung up on him and he did. I sighed and picked up the call again to tell him off but instead heard a very familiar squealing at the other end.
I gasped, "Mina! Oh my gosh! Where are you?"
Mina, my ultimate best bestest friend went off to vacation last summer and never came back. Apparently, her flight was cancelled and the rest were booked and because she couldn't call internationally with an expired simcard, we lost all contact.
"I'm back home, finally. We were stuck in Greece for so freakin' long I thought I was going to evaporate or something! It's so hot down there and the hotel we booked had this main AC line or whatever and it broke! So no air conditioning, no open hotels, and no fresh air because some bimbo dropped something in the air vent and it apparently either rotted there or died and then rotted."
"How lucky! I would've loved to skip out on part of the school year. You have no idea how horrible it has been down here with Darien and my cousin--"
"Oh Serena! So it was Darien," she said teasingly. What did she know that I didn't...? And suddenly, it dawned on me. That phone call wasn't from Darien. It was from Mina and she just heard me talking about the condoms. I smacked my forehead (not too hard mind you, I didn't want to leave a mark there but you know, just enough for the action), "Oh that's just too bad Sere. I have this friend of mine and he is rather handsome and I just thought that the two of you would have made a wonderful couple. You should see him...absolutely gorgeous."
"Look Mina. I already told you. Every time you make me go on a blind date, it never works. Must I remind you of the many times my face was mistaken for my chest or the many times I fell asleep in my dessert?"
"But Serena...his eyes are grey..." that caught my attention. I loved cool grey eyes, "What color is his hair?" After all, we can't have a guy with grey eyes get matched with orange or green hair.
"Silver-blue; it's really pretty," she said like she was setting pigs on display at a market.
I was contemplating now...this guy sounds really cute... "Okay Mina...I'll give it a try...but if this one doesn't work, I'm never listening to you about guys again. Kapish?"
I could just feel her beaming at the other end, "Kapish."
Later on, I rushed over to Darien's apartment, stuffed the condoms under his front door through the slit, and rushed back to my place where I sat myself in front of my computer and (drooling), looked through the pictures of the guy Mina is setting me up with. Apparently, he's a swimmer and a serious diver, got accepted to Princeton university which he is attending next year, and plays the piano very well. To top it all off, he's trilingual. Not that I cared about that part. We got the our first meeting place and time scheduled off right away for this coming weekend at the carnival. The date would've been sooner, had I not had school the next two days. Yes, vacation is over. Well, at least there's something to look forward to instead of the constant teasing/bullying/bothering/annoying-ness (it's a Serena word) from Darien.
!!!
Sorry to my handful of fans out there...I've been trying to get this chapter out but it's been olympics like all of you know =P. And being the swimmer I am, I intended only on watching the swimming/diving [now we know where that came from] part of the olympics but somehow, I got obsessed with gymnastics and decided to spend this week cheering on the U.S and Carly Patterson. Unfortunately, I am also a known procrastinator and I havn't been studying for my bio SAT II's or doing my jap project -.-;;;