Disclaimer: Shaman King isn't mine
Dedicated to the pants wearing people of Earth who most certainly are the coolest beings our planet has ever known.
The number of times the names Goldva(1), Chrom(2) and Kalim(3) appear: 29
The number of times crayons are mentioned: 4
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Goldva(4), Chrom(5) and Kalim(6): As the Great Spirit WillsGoldva(7), Chrom(8) and Kalim(9) are situated in a gymnasium, rolling around on rubber balls. Clowns in colorful clown costumes made stupid jokes, wore clown pants and shouted obscene things (have you ever heard what they tell little children? HAVE you?). Oh my, I am sorry. That's the wrong setting...
Here's the true setting! Goldva(10), Chrom(11), and Kalim(12) are standing on this sandy lot thing. In the background, there is grass. But this is not your ordinary grass! It's paper colored on with green crayon. The sky isn't really a sky, either. Sky, in this story, is light blue bloomers! Not exactly what the real sky is made of, but it's close enough.
Goldva's(13) pants would make anyone want to chuckle so much to the point where it wasn't even funny anymore! They're so short... What's even more pathetic than what was afore mentioned is that you can't even see all of Goldva's(14) pants. It's covered by this...dress/ceremonial gown/I-am-the-chief-of-my-tribe thing. The little that we can gather about his pants are this: they are short and tucked into his wee booties.
Chrom(15) has some pretty awesome pants. It's a pity he died before knowing the true power of his pants! (they didn't really have any power, but let's pretend.) His pants are long and presumably a dark color. On the left leg, on the thigh, are 3 strap things that encompass the entire thigh. Each are approximately 2 inches apart, and have various things on them.
Chrom(16) has this long thing (it bears an almost scary resemblance to a bath towel!) that covers his frontal area! He has a belt that, to the normal human eye, would be bullets stitched together, side-by-side. What that belt is truly composed of, perhaps we'll never know. Coolio fringe things are at the bottom, from the ankle and stop just before the knee.
Kalim's(17) pants are a completely different story. They go beyond elaborate and are practically ornate. His pants are the same length as Chrom's(18) pants are—long! The rib bones of some animal are on his shins. Ceremoniously placed in the front of him is a towel thing, just like Chrom's(19), only much more decorative.
Yeah, well the exciting part hasn't even come yet. You probably won't believe this, know matter how many times I'll tell you it's true, because it is! He has a BUFFALO SKULL PLACED DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF HIS CROTCH. Isn't that cool? huh? huh? I bet it is. AND! It's the entire truth!
To finish off Kalim's(20) pants, on either side of him are these chain-like things that aren't chains. These chain-like things that aren't chains are really some type of fabric.
And with those explanations, we waltz! Goldva(21), Kalim(22), and Chrom(23) took their pants le—must I describe the entire waltz? You should know it by now! Here's an instant waltz describer if you really need it: they waltzed and waltzed and waltzed and waltzed. Here comes the irony!
A couple of chubby little hands grabbed the pants wearing Goldva(24), Kalim(25) and Chrom(26). Wax crayons colored on the pants wearing people unceremoniously. "Watch the handsome face, you fiend!" Goldva(27) commanded the boy who was coloring on him with a blue crayon.
"Great chieftain, my pants are getting colored on by children!" Kalim(28) wailed. "The greatness of my pants is going to bear a stained legacy!"
"Even if I am dead but brought back temporarily for story purposes, I too can feel the horrible grinding of colored wax on my skin!" Chrom(29) cried.
What a wonderful, terribly happy ending that makes all of us want to dance like idiots.
AN: Does anyone else (not the people already done), aside from Ryu's gangster friends, wear pants in Shaman King? Oh yeah-I actually have a profile now! I'm not one to dwell on numbers, but I have 52 reviews, and that makes me so happy that I want to jump off a monkey! Out of all the endings I have ever done, this one is my favorite because it only took like, 0.985654 seconds to think up. (And it's hopelessly stupid yet entertaining.)
To the reviewers:
KimBob: Chicken, obviously, doesn't taste like chicken. Only the tofu replacement tastes like the real thing! The "things in which the characters speak" is called DIALOGUE! Reading the dialogue you write is really fun—they're humorous and lighthearted! "The Story Behind the Stuffing" amused Chompy, too. (Chompy is a real being—he's my "duffed" animal squirrel whom I love very much!) Your idea is fabulous, and shall be used in the grand finale! You don't have to thank me for reviewing your stories, because I LOVE reviewing stuff! (Thanks-again-for reviewing mine, too!) You know what's scary? I read your profile, and from that, I learned that we're the same age! That makes me chuckle.
ShadowDown: Thanks! I get that a lot...people tell me I'm out of whack all the time...By the way—I like your pants.
Rayless-Demon: That is the point of my story! You figured it out! To amuse and scare in such a way that makes the reader want to pee in their pants! Thank you for reviewing practically every chapter I've written—that makes you cool.
kittykid: kee hee, it was so kind of you to read and review! Bonkee's going to love you forever and ever... Glad you liked it, Sparrow-chan!
Raikku of the Darkness: Hello to you, too, Amidamaru lover! Thanks for that Card Captor Sakura thing! I didn't write you back because I'm an old man (and we talk on IM, so...yeah)! Thank you for reading, for reviewing, and for liking my writing style. It means a lot to me!