Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter (cries) this world is so freakin' evil T.T
THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS!!!
Lyla Hayden: glad I brightened your day soz, it was bad though (sweatdrop)
jack: thank you!!!! (anime smile)
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LaraBlack: whoa! (catches breath) did not expect the shag lol (sweatdrop) thanks though lol glad you like the chappy!!!
DavePotter: lol I was curious about Girly!Snape (anime smile) I like it, tis funny lol
thedarkside45: lol (dances along too) thanks!
Shadow Psi: adjectives? (blink blink) I'm so slow (sweatdrop)(runs to dictionary)
Falcon Zanbandia of Nightmares: ok! HEE what kind of character would you like to be? And is this aloud in 'cause I read something in their updates about no interactive fics
sexAy-iranian23: lol oocness can be so funny sometimes, if you do it right I guess (shrugs) I basically have no idea what I'm doing lol thanks!
RootbeerFloat: thanks again!!!! (big ass bear hug) lol I had fun writing that part hee
Chang Wumei: lol remember you said something about R/H in a review before? Well I sneaked something in this chappy but instead of Herm feeling up Ron it's the opposite...yeah...lol as for Remus...dude I totally forgot (cracks up) soz, I'll try and bring him in in the future
CannedSkittles: heh soz, I only got in a lil bit before they were interrupted...oops...don't kill me!
silverflames03: glad you like me Sev! Hee lol too bad I can't bring my computer with me on the vacation (cries)
Nichole08: lol should I make that hair scene at the bar? Heehee!
Ryan's-heart's-desire: lol things are gonna get crazier like in the first fic lol
CrazyLake42: soz this came out sorta late (on my schedule anyway) the next chappy will come out later 'cause I'm gonna be heading off for two week (cries)
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!TOODLES!: lol soz about the late update!
reflectivelvet: here's the new chappy! but the next one will come out in like two weeks or something (cries) I'm being torn off my computer by me evil parents!
ok people! BIG ASS NOTE! I'll be gone for two weeks to Venezuela (sniff) so the next chappy will come out REALLY late...SOZ!!!!!
Chapter Six: Letters From The Past
"Cho's the new DADA teacher!?" gaped Harry when they told him the news, "just fucking great!"
"Mr. Potter! Watch your language!" scolded McGonagall; she missed the middle finger that was sent to her.
"It's not that bad, at least if she tries to feel you up or something you can report her to Azkaban, tis illegal for a teacher to rape a student," shrugged Ron.
Everyone turned to him, "DUH!"
"Tuh! Whatever, haters."
"What are we hating?" Hermione asked cluelessly.
"Oh Weasley thinks he's all smart and everything, so tell me about this hairspray you were talking about," said Snape.
"Can Harry and I share rooms, professor?" Draco asked innocently.
"And continue your reckless sex everyday?" McGonagall said testily, Draco didn't drop his innocent expression, "whatever, but you'd better clean the uh...ahem! Leftovers when you're done."
"Leftovers?" the blond raised an eyebrow.
"You know, the cum, maybe some saliva, that stuff," Harry replied unblushingly.
"Oh..." he turned to the Gryffindor head of house, "of course we'll clean it up."
"Good."
"With our tongues."
"EUGH!!!!" everyone took a step away from the snickering Slytherin.
"Here we are," McGonagall stopped in front of a painting of a young woman in a black dress with white wings, sitting on a rock.
"Are these them?" the painting asked, her accent sort of street-like and completely the opposite from what everyone thought she would sound, "jeeze, they're like models what the fuck!?"
"Should I take that as a compliment?" Ginny asked dully.
"Cho Chang's a bitch and should die a slow painful death," McGonagall said calmly, everyone gawked at her but the painting opened.
"I like the password...it's a bit long though," Harry said, following the deputy head in the passage that lead to a luxurious common room.
"Bloody hell god loves me," Ron breathed.
The common room screamed royalty. Cushiony sofas that were smooth and gold along with some detailed sewing of flowers and plants. Soft carpeting in the colors that matched the sofas, carved desks that had detailed engravings of vines curving up the legs, a painting of the Hogwarts four stood over the large fire place. They all waved at the newcomers.
"The girls dormitories are on the left, boys on the right, got that?" said McGonagall, the teens nodded, "good, now you're responsibilities in the Defense Army will show on how well you protect the students from Tye, if you do well then we'll get out of this alive. If not, well then we're fucked."
"Does anyone besides me think McGonagall's emotionally disturbed? One second she bitching and the next second she's swearing," Harry muttered.
"Menopause maybe?" Draco suggested.
"How old IS she?" Ginny whispered.
"Professor? Are you going through menopause?" Hermione asked out loud.
"What?" McGonagall sputtered, "I beg your pardon!?"
"Yeah, she is," Hermione nodded, popping her third gumball in her mouth.
"I am NOT going through menopause! How dare you?" you could have sworn you'd see steam coming out of her ears.
"She didn't mean it," Ginny said, kicking Hermione in the shin from behind, "she's just being brainless at the moment."
"Brainless!? Why you mouth yapping whore!" yelled the bushy haired gumball addict.
"Second next to you."
"Excuse me!? How dare you even insinuate that I'm brainless you redhaired freak!"
"Suck my tits, I could care less."
"Oh that does it, hold my earrings, Sevvy," Hermione whipped out a scrunchie and tied her hair into a ponytail.
"You don't have any earrings," Snape blinked, he quickly grabbed the brunette around the waist before she could jump onto Ginny and pound the crap out of her.
"Now wait I minute, 'Mione!" Ron said, jumping between the two, "come on, you're both friends, you shouldn't fight!"
"Move over peace maker!" Hermione raised her fist but Ron grabbed it.
"Doesn't this sound familiar?" Draco asked thoughtfully.
"...No," Harry raised an eyebrow at his boyfriend.
"What Hermione and Ginny said, 'suck my...' yeah...and 'second next to you'? Those insults are what we said to each other before we went to Honeydukes, ah how strange life is," he wiped an invisible tear.
"Hm! Déjà vu!" Harry grinned, looking back at the fight.
"'Mione stop! If you hurt Ginny I'll get in trouble!" Ron practically begged.
"Errgh! Fuck off! She deserves what she's gonna get!" Hermione growled menacingly.
"God, what a child," Ginny muttered.
"Hermione, act sensibly, fighting won't get you anywhere," Pansy said in hopes to get some sense into the lunatic girl, she sweatdropped with she got the evil eye.
"Listen to Pansy, woman! Goddamnit you're strong!" Ron said, trying to hold back Hermione's fist a little more.
"Errr-AAARRRGH!!!!" the Gryffindorette used all of her might and knocked Ron to the ground. But she fell too and ended up sitting on the redhead and in Ron's attempt to not get his face smashed he shielded himself with his hands and my oh my...
...His hands landed on Hermione's melons!
"Huh?" the brunette looked down at her chest and just stared, "why Ron! This is so sudden!"
"I'll give you sudden," growled Pansy, and she jumped on Hermione, sending her sideways to the ground, two seconds later they were both in a cat fight.
"Pansy what about 'fighting won't get you anywhere'!?" Blaise yelled.
"SCREW IT!" and she landed a punch square on Hermione's face.
"You do realize," Colin said, sitting down next to the astonished Ron, "that they're fighting over you?"
"...Yeah," the redhead said shakily, "I didn't know it would get this bad though."
Everyone (except the fighting duo) looked at Ron incredulously. "WHAT!?"
-
"Sir, I have news," Cho said to the reflection in the mirror.
"That you saved a lot of money by registering for gei-"
"No, no, no...well, yeah but I'm talking about Potter and the others!" she mentally slapped her forehead in exasperation.
"Ah! Good," he said evilly, rubbing his hands, "very, very, VERY good heheheheh!"
"...Riiiiiight...well I just found out that they are the defense army of the school," she frowned when she saw her boss examine his nails, "sir?"
"Do you think purple fits me? I dunno, it'll look like my fingers are bruised or something," he said in a lisp.
"SIR!"
"Whaaaaat?" he whined.
"Urgh!" she massaged her temples, "do you want Potter and his friends dead or not?"
"Of course I do!"
"Would that also explain the reason why you came here and tried to kill him and Malfoy with an ax?" she asked dully.
"What? I never went to Hogwarts!" he scoffed, "are you feeling ill or something, darling?"
"No I just have headache..." she stopped, "oh yeah right! Like there's another person here who wants to kill Harry Potter!" she said sarcastically, "but with an ax? Hun, you gotta think of something more artistic and less messy."
"I swear to my ass that I was never there...an ax? HA! That person needs to learn the lessons of the art of murder," he chuckled.
"But if it wasn't you...then...whoever it is, is probably still here!" she paled in fear.
"Where did the attempted murder take place? Come on, tell me, ahaha! I gotta know if it's embarrassing or not."
"It was in the quidditch showers...Potter and Malfoy said something about the showers being turned on hot water. When I got there the killer was gone but the showers were still on."
The reflection of her boss stopped laughing. "Anything...else?" he said in an overdramatic tone.
"Um..." she racked though her memories, "there was a message on the mirrors, it said 'one by one all will be dead, stripped from their bones to rot in the sun, I'll strike on and on, and kill all of you, I am the messenger, from above and beyond.'"
"...That was convenient of you to remember all of that," Cho's boss said in a dull sarcastic voice. "But this sounds familiar...it could be...HIM?"
"Him? No way! I thought I killed him!"
"He must have survived...you are pretty bad at aiming things you know."
"Shut up! If there's a killer out there, and if it's HIM! Then I'm not taking part of this shit anymore, I'm quitting, get me the fuck out of here!"
"Look, Farts A Million, you sealed the deal with this friggin' contract," he held up a long piece of parchment, "now go do your job and pretend that the killer's a friend...all killer's are friends to each other."
"...You're a straaaaange man, but whatever, Potter wouldn't talk to me about Cedric so I'ma whoop his ass!"
"THAT'S THE FREAKIN' SPIRIT!"
-
The morning found Harry waking up to a naked sleeping blond, their limbs tangled up in a way that got him a hard on.
"Hmm," Draco hummed, stirring, "is that an erection I'm feeling?" he grinned and opened his eyes, staring back at emerald green. "Good morning," he smiled cutely.
"Good morning indeed," he leaned over and kissed him, Draco quickly let entrance and massaged Harry's tongue while also letting it explore his mouth in a soothing motion.
The blond let out a soft moan when a hand slid down to his hardening crotch. Harry grinned and stroked him slowly; Draco let out another moan and tried to rub himself against him.
An owl swooped in and started pecking their heads to stop making out, which they did because the owl started pecking harder.
"Fucking owl," Draco muttered, rubbing his head. The owl hooted indignantly and stuck out its foot out where two envelopes were tied. "You could have hooted instead of peaked!" he untied the letters grumpily.
The owl seemed to be glaring and he made a motion as if it were about to poop on the bed.
"AHHHH! OK! OK I'M SORRY! JUST DON'T SHIT ON THE SHEETS!"
Harry chuckled and gave the owl an owl treat, it nipped his finger in thanks and flew off.
"This is yours," Draco handed him one of the envelopes as he opened his own.
(Small silence while they read...(tick-tick tick-tock)...ok they're done)
"You have GOT to be fucking me!" Harry breathed out in shock.
"Ditto," there was a look of bewilderment on Draco's face.
The door opened and Ginny and the others stepped inside (Pansy and Hermione were still a bit bruised from their fight last night). "You got the letters too?" the redhead asked, still looking at hers, she received nods.
"This is freaky," Ron shook his head, still staring at his letter.
"It's probably just a trick," yawned Hermione, "I need a gumball. Sevvy must have more."
"Sevvy?" Blaise raised an eyebrow. He took a step back from the evil eye Hermione sent him.
"Why would they trick us?" Pansy asked, "I mean, if it's not a trick then..."
"But how could Godric Gryffindor and Salazar Slytherin know about us?" Colin asked, frowning at the letter.
Oooo! Anuda weird ending! Soz this took a while! And it was short; soz about that too, anyway, gotta go and take a showa. I have to leave at two in the morning (cries)