Disclaimer: ACHOO! (sniff) I dun own Harry Potter ACHOOO!!!!
Thanks for the reviews people!
xXxIce.PrincessxXx: lol (sweatdrop) this one came in late too, it's just that I've been getting a lot of ideas for future fics but I need to finish this one first XP
Shui-Wing0: lol yep, 'Mione's a weird lil sack of...something XD
Yana5: probaby XD they wouldn't care though, they were too into each other at the moment lol
DemonRogue13: thank you!
Ryan's-heart's-desire: yay for the sophomores! (punches air. Air:...ouch...) yeah I need to add more H/Dness
Dru Black: lol
zoomaphonethepirate: Mystery men? cool! dunno it though (sweatdrop)
LylaHayden: BROWNIES! (grabs some and stuffs it in her mouth)...I ate it quickly...T.T
Falcon Zanbandia of Nightmares: lol ok, I'll try the Hr/Z thing XD the old flashlight in my head sparked a bit lol I totally forgot about Nevilly-Poo! O.O thanks for reminding me! 8D
LaraBlack: LOL! XD ok works for me, the next chappy's gonna be a blast! Physiology turned out to be interesting, I actually feel smart in that class O.O and that's saying something lol. THANKS FOR THE LONG REVIEW HUN! (big bear hug)
Inylan: this chappy ain't that great, I have a better idea for the next one though, lots of steaminess from all pairing's! (gawk)
fish057: this one's pretty lame, just the aftermath of the last chappy, hopefully the next one's better! 8D
RootbeerFloat: JKR? (puts on a blond wig) Yes I am (police start chasing her) OK I'M NOT! I'M JUST A PERUVION SILLY GIRL! lol anyway, this one's a dull chappy but the next one should be better! The plot gets more clearer (thank god!) bear hug to yeh!
lynnie: lol soz for the delay, writers block. anyway, here's the update (finally) enjoy!
Chapter Eleven: Training
"Now," Trelawney said, "take deep breathes, clear your minds from everything."
"Guess that means out with the perverseness," Ron said sadly.
"Concentrate only on your powers...clear your mind...inhale," she took a deep breath, "exhale," she breathed out, "let it all go...release the stress-"
BRRRP!
Ron and Pansy glanced at each other before conjuring up some Lysol and spraying it all over the oblivious teacher.
-
"Alright Miss. Granger, show me what you've got," McGonagall said.
Sighing, Hermione transfigured into Pansy easily. "Happy?"
"Not really," the Transfiguration teacher said dully, "You didn't transfigure your clothes."
"Eh?" she looked at her uniform; it was still Gryffindor, "I thought I couldn't transfigure clothes!"
"Animagi and Shape Shifters-"
"Aren't that different at all, both require a transfiguration of the clothes," Hermione said lazily, "do you honestly think I wouldn't know? I'm Hermione Granger, hellooo!"
"Well if you knew that then why did you even think you couldn't change your clothes?"
"It slipped my mind ok? Whatever just teach me this change clothes thing so I can get to my Ronnikin's!"
"Bitch," McGonagall muttered.
"Do you have a gumball?"
-
The small group walked in the forbidden forest, going deep enough to be in at least mild danger.
"Why must we train here?" Colin asked, standing close to Blaise.
"Training involves fighting and you're the defense army so you need to learn how to survive things like this," Snape said in a quick slightly confusing manner.
"And if we don't survive?" Harry asked.
"Then that's one less idiot to come to my class."
"You bloody heartless son of a mother fucking bitch!" everyone gaped at the raven head, "what?"
"Right then," Remus said, getting everyone back to the task at hand, "what you five need to do is to protect each other from an army of giant spiders, compliments to Aragog, on three."
"Giant spiders?" Blaise squeaked.
"You're joking...right?" Ginny said slowly.
"One."
"Aragog?" Harry trembled.
"Two."
"An army?" Draco raised an eyebrow.
"Three!"
"SHIT!" they all yelled before climbing up a tree.
Nothing happened.
"Snape! You bloody bastard!" Draco yelled, "why the blinking fuck did you scare us like that!?" No answer, "Sev?" he looked around from his position on the branch, "Mr. Werewolf?"
"Draco...listen," Harry said, grabbing his hand to hush him. The blond silenced.
There was the sound of pincers, a number of 'something' coming their way, a big number.
"Oh...bloody...hell..." Colin managed to say when he saw shadows of spiders heading towards them. They were so pact that it looked like a black nothing eating up the ground.
"If Ron were here he'd die," Ginny said, pulling out her wand.
"I'm dying right now!" Draco yelled, "I don't want to fight those disgusting spiders! I mean, have they ever heard of a shower?"
"...Draco these spiders can kill us and all your worried about is their hygiene?" his boyfriend said incredulously.
"Death too..." the blond said after about five minutes. Sighing, Harry made to jump off the branch, "don't leave me!"
"Don't worry, love, you're coming with me," he grabbed him by the shirt.
"Wha-WAA!!!" Harry jumped off the branch taking Draco with him.
"Come on Blaise," Colin copied what Harry did.
"But I hate spiders!" Blaise yelled as he was pulled down to the ground, quickly followed by Ginny.
-
The killer in the dark cloak walked down the corridors to the great hall, his stomach screaming for a large plate of fries with a cheeseburger and a large goblet of soda.
"Not so fast," a voice stopped him.
He sighed and turned to the speaker. Cho faced him with what she thought was an angry face. Instead it looked like a face twisted in between pain and fear. Something the killer tried not to laugh at.
"Don't think you're gonna kill them before me, you may be my bosses brother but there is no way in freaking hell you're gonna beat me in this."
"Kill who?" he asked, raising an eyebrow under the shadow of his hood.
"Potter and his friends!" she yelled, throwing her hands up angrily.
"Who says I came to kill them?" he said in a chilling voice that got Cho to shiver, "I just came here to do what I was sent to do."
"What's that?" she mentally punched herself for sounding shaky.
"To kill everyone," he smirked.
-
"TAKE THAT YOU SONS OF ARAGOG'S BITCH!" shouted Harry, punching a spider away from him, the punch was so tremendous that the spider went flying backwards, crashing into a bunch of other spiders.
Draco had his wand pulled out, trying his best not to be too scared as dirty spiders advanced on him. "Stupify! Inflamaray! Avada Kedavra! Crucio! Petrificus Totalus! Um...expelliarmus!"
The spiders in pain paused and looked at each other in confusion before going back to being in pain. Why Draco said 'expelliarmus' was beyond them.
"Bwahahahaa!!" Colin cackled madly, "accio eighth leg! Accio eyeballs! Accio hearts!" he yelled gleefully, pointing his wand to a few unlucky spiders.
Blaise paled as his boyfriend continued doing what he was doing. "Colin?" he said shakily, "calm down...that's sick!"
"I'm still alive aren't I?"
"Yeah but...ugh! Gross just...blegh!"
"Watch out!"
Blaise turned and faced a charging spider. "YAA!" he punched it so quickly and sharply that his fist went right through the spider.
"Way to go Blaise!" Colin said, jumping on a dead spider while swishing his wand around as well as a spiders leg.
Draco's eye twitched when he watched what the couple did. He made a mental note that when he went back to the castle, he'd take a strong potion of memory draught.
Shaking his head he turned and gasped when a spider came flying at him. His mind went blank in fear and the spider went right through him as if he were a ghost.
'Wait a minute...' he looked at himself and then to a tree. With a concentrating face, he made his mind go blank and he got his hand to go through the trunk of the tree.
Quickly pulling it out an idea struck him and he raced through the spiders, tricking them into chasing him only to get them to crashing into one another.
"You can't catch me!" he yelled, sticking his tongue out at them as he ran around making crazy loops to get the spiders to crash into things.
Ginny made herself float over the little war and raised her hands. A bunch of spider floated and hovered before her, twitching and trying to escape.
"Ring around the rosy, a pocket full of posies," Ginny sang happily, getting the floating spiders to spin around in a circle at a fast rate, one could have sworn they'd saw one of the spiders throw up from the spinning, "we all fall down!"
She moved her hands down in a harsh motion and the spiders fell to the ground like bombs, all making thundering thudding sounds.
"Oh yeah, I'm good, I rock, right on!" she shook her bum as she jigged in the air.
"Accio Snape's Tommy gun!" Blaise yelled, concentrating hard.
Somewhere up on the trees on the highest branch Snape gaped at his student. "WHAT!?" he yelled.
"Well," Remus tapped his lip with a finger, "at least he's helping to fight back, just as long as he doesn't shoot anyone." He watched as Blaise caught the gun and started shooting at any spider within eye shot.
"B-but!" he looked teary and he pouted, "it's mine! It's my favorite!"
"Oh don't be such a cry baby, that's my job," he sat back against the trunk of the tree and crossed his arms.
"...No sex tonight."
"You're no fun!"
There was a pause in which loud thumpings of giant footsteps could be heard. "What is that?" Snape looked around.
"Hagger!"
At this everyone froze and their blood ran cold.
-Last Minute Rambles-
Ron gulped down some of his coffee, set it down on the counter and huffed. "I only appeared in like...one part!" he complained.
"Soz," Without permission sweatdropped, "I was in writers block for this chappy, I think I have some idea for the next one though...I might even kill someone," she laughed evilly.
There's a silence as that cast stared that the crazy author. "You don't mean that...do you?" Draco asked shakily.
"You never know...but I know Cho's gonna die...I just need to find a good way how."
"Burn her!" Colin yelled.
"Shoot her!" Blaise punched the air.
"Curse her arse to next week then torment her in a torture chamber," Harry took a long swig of wine, "then pour acid all over her body, make her drink some too."
Everyone stared at the Boy Wonder. "Harry," Ginny said slowly, "you have issues."
"I know!" he smiled cutely.
"That wine's gotten to his head," his boyfriend muttered.
"Colin's worse," Blaise said miserably, "did you see what he did to those spiders?"
"Yes," Remus set down his butterbeer, "pardon my language but what the bloody fuck were you on about Wp?"
"We can get you help you know," Pansy said worriedly.
"I was having writers block," Without permission blushed, "and I was listening to some music that put me in that mood at the moment. I actually wanted something sillier to happen like, Draco picking up a spider's leg and go 'hey look! A dildo!'"
Pause.
"Without permission don't you dare write that up on one of the future chapters or I will strangle you to death and beyond," Draco threatened.
"Calm down," Pansy drank her coffee, forgetting that it was hot so she sputtered when she swallowed it, "ow! Hot!" she grabbed some ice from Wp's drink and stuffed it in her mouth. Ron watched amusedly as she visibly calmed down immediately, almost looking like she was had an orgasm.
'Must not think dirty thoughts!' he smacked his forehead a bunch of times.
"So what's the news for today?" Ginny turned to the authoress.
"Hm?" she blinked then straightened up, "oh right!" she drank some of her water, "soz if this chappy was short people and majorly late, but I had MAJOR writers block for this, I'll try to get the next one up sooner! The couple's will most definitely get their little freak on in the next chappy!"
"That's it?" Snape snapped, "god what a waste!" he downed the rest of his firewhiskey, "review or suffer the wrath of my Tommy Gun!"
"No need to be harsh," Remus said, drinking some more of his butterbeer.
"Has anyone noticed that Hermione's not here?" Pansy looked around the bar.
"You care?" Ginny laughed.
"No!" she blushed.