"Second Chances – Part 5"

August 7, 2005 (Day 107)
McCarran Airport
7:05 p.m.

Casually strolling through Terminal C with their carry-ons tossed over their shoulders, the vacationers reminisced about their trip.

Pointing at her travel partner, Heather boasted, "Your face when I turned you down the second night…priceless. I didn't even care that I lost the bet the next night after leaving you so high and dry the night before." Afraid she was laughing too loudly, Heather covered her mouth with her hand.

"Do you know how much I spent on in-room movies that night thanks to you?" Laughing with her, he remarked, "One in particular caught my eye…Kneel Down Armstrong...it had this whole female space alien dominatrix thing going on. Probably not your speed."

"Sounds a little too lascivious for my taste," She politely informed him. "I prefer The Weather Channel."

"And why does The Weather Channel fascinate you?"

"Isn't it obvious?" She winked at the curious man. "The weather is one of the few things beyond my control so, when I feel like being a little submissive..."

"Is it the weather or the weathermen that do it for you?" Stopping in the middle of the aisle, he announced, "Because I'd love to demonstrate my knowledge of high-pressure systems and tropical moisture for you one day."

When Heather saw him go from hearty laughter to puzzlement, she inquired, "Jim is something wrong?"

"Yeah…I see something highly suspicious and I need to investigate. Since I'm back in my jurisdiction, I can't let this go." Glancing over at her, he said, "I'm sorry, do you mind getting your luggage on your own? We drove separately so…"

"No, not at all." She smiled. "Someone has to keep the naughty boys in line when they're outside of my dominion. I'll call you."

"You're such a control freak. I'll call you!" He jokingly countered as he watched her saunter away. Once she was out of range, he slipped his hands in his pockets and returned his gaze to the Home Turf Sports Grill. As he stared at Sara sitting alone at a corner table, he thought…unless she's undercover, something's not right with this picture.

After taking a deep breath, he walked into the establishment and approached the table. "Is this seat taken?" He asked while pointing the stool next to her.

Stunned to see Brass standing before her, Sara gasped, "What are you doing here?"

Lowering his carry-on bag to the floor, Jim explained, "My flight just got in. I was on vacation the last four days, remember?" Smiling, he added, "Didn't you miss me?"

One close look and she knew he had sniffed the scent of her despair a mile away and was here to pry. "I don't really want to…"

"You know, I didn't get a snack on the plane and those nachos you have in front of you look like too much for one person. Wanna share? I'll pay for your next round." He pointed to the glass on the table. "What is that you're drinking anyway?"

She knew what he was thinking. "Don't worry…it's just Sprite on the rocks. And yes, I'll share my nachos." Pushing the plate in front of him, she sighed. "I'm done with them actually."

Taking a seat, he noticed one, maybe two divots in the overflowing plate of chips and cheese. "You barely made a dent in the pile, Sara."

"I thought I was hungry but…" Glancing at the flow of people coursing by, she fell silent. There was no point in trying to deceive Brass; aside from being a skillful decoder of people, he knew her all too well. Besides…deception, even with good intentions had already ruined her life once today and she had learned her lesson.

Reaching for a napkin, Jim decided to make his move. "Sara…everyone knows airport nachos taste like shit. You're not boozing and there's no ambiance here, so…care to tell me why you're hanging out at this airport bar alone on a Sunday night"

Her eyes still on the passersby, she answered, "Why does anyone kill time in a bar at the airport? I'm waiting for a flight."

"Yeah…I figured that much when I saw your bag and your boarding pass. I think the key word in my question was alone." Watching her, he saw her body tense. "It's not like I suspect something's going on, Sara. You look like hell. I know something's going on."

Drained from hours of tears shed alone while deciding what to do, she whispered, "I can't talk about it." Her eyes focused on a happy couple sitting in the waiting area across from the bar.

Jim slipped a little closer. "Does he know where you're going? Does anyone?"

"No and he doesn't care." Still fixated, she watched the blissful pair on the bench snuggle and laugh together. "He was quite clear on the matter…he doesn't want to be near me and I gave him some very good reasons to feel that way. Coincidentally, he motivated me to stay as far away from him as possible so…here I am flying away. It's a win-win decision in a lose-lose situation."

"If he doesn't care, then tell me where you're going," He demanded, "Because I care. The thought of you heading off to be alone somewhere without anyone knowing where you are isn't right. I already have Ellie out there…god knows where doing god knows what. Don't make me wonder what's going on with you too."

"I appreciate the concern but…"

"If you don't tell me, I'll be forced to make a scene at the airport." Lightening his tone, he informed her, "We both know I've been around enough psychos to know how to imitate one. I'll make us look crazy then security will come, we'll both end up being hauled away and you'll miss your flight. Besides…what's the point in keeping it from me? You know if you don't tell me I'll just use my power in this town to find out anyway. I've done it before, right? Why do you think I checked up on you when you went to Colorado Springs?"

Returning her gaze to Jim, she softly replied, "Thanks for caring. It's nice to know I'm not completely alone in this world."

"I'll tell you the same thing I've told Ellie…" Pulling out his cell phone he smiled. "Call me anytime. She never takes me up on the offer. I hope you do."

Even though she was desperate to accept the offer, she needed to clarify one requirement. "If he asks you where I am, promise me you won't tell him. If he does ever care to know where I am…he needs to find me."

"I promise I won't tell him." Knowingly, he smiled at her. "So…where are you going, Sara? Or should I take a guess?"

Greg's Apartment
7:45 p.m.

Lying in bed next to Greg, Tawny watched him peacefully sleeping while thinking back to the intimacy they had shared this evening. It was the first time they slept together…just slept. And so it was, fully clothed and in his arms that she experienced a new level of ecstasy…tenderness.

Reaching out, she stroked his bruised cheekbone with her fingertips. Based on personal experience she knew the bruise would disappear in a few days. That's the funny thing about bruises she mused…they fade fast on the outside while the memory of how you acquired one lingers on. It had been five years since she looked in the mirror and saw a similar bruise on her cheek. She remembered it perfectly…some days she could still feel it.

That's the way it was supposed to be, bruises were supposed to be negative…the result of an accident which rendered pain…the outcome of a disagreement you clearly lost before you even had a chance to defend yourself. But today, she learned that bruises could be positive…proof positive that someone cared enough to not think of self-preservation, but of someone else.

Now that Greg knew her darkest secrets, she felt safer…assured that he would never hurt her now that he knew her painful past. On the contrary, she was certain he'd go out of his way to protect her no matter what. Certain because it made sense…when you care deeply about someone who has been damaged in the past, the last thing you would ever do is choose to hurt them.

America West Airlines
Flight 902
8:03 p.m.

After watching the lights of The Strip fade from view, Sara closed her eyes and reclined in her window seat. The turmoil of the day's events finally catching up with her exhausted mind and body, she was grateful her row was empty and desperately hoped sleep would overtake her.

As she started to drift, the sound of a baby crying a few rows back disturbed her slumber and as the infant's mewling intensified, it disturbed her peace of mind. For the first time in the four months of the feasibility study, the answer was crystal clear…it's not even feasible for us to have a relationship, no less a child. Which made her wonder…what if I was already pregnant when this blow up happened today? Would he have stuck around for the sake of the baby, or would he do the same thing as his father and abandon both mother and child?

All this time I fought to learn the littlest things about him when I should have been focused on discovering the bigger secrets he harbored like a blind temper, a proclivity to protect himself at the expense of others and his predisposition to abandon people. Wait…who am I kidding, I knew the last two intimately. Over the years, how many times did he hurt my feelings to protect his? Dozens? Every time I made excuses for his behavior and after a brief retreat, forgave him and let him back into my life. In Tahoe he abandoned me at my lowest moment and I swore I wouldn't give him another chance but I did.

Staring out the window once more, Sara saw nothing but darkness. I am my mother, she admitted for the first time in her life. Grissom's behavior has been escalating all these years and along the way I swallowed my pride and accepted it. Why? Because I'm obsessed? Because I'm desperate? Because I know deep down he's as mentally messed up as me? Because I felt sorry for him and his dysfunctional personality? Because I love him and love isn't logical?

A business man harshly scolding the frustrated mother of the shrieking baby caught Sara's ear and without hesitation she jumped up and yelled, "Hey, how about cutting her some slack, you selfish jerk! Do you think she's intentionally making the baby cry just to piss you off? I bet you do because guys like you always think the world revolves around their needs. Well guess what, your whining is far more annoying than the baby's cry, so do us all a favor and shut the hell up." The words were out there before she knew it and when she heard clapping from passengers around her, she knew her delivery must have been effective. If Greg were here she knew he'd proclaim it another 'Sara Sidle Smackdown'.

The flight attendant swooped over. "Miss, can I get you a drink? Cocktail on the house?" The last thing she wanted was an edgy female on her flight.

"No thank you." Sara retreated to her window seat thinking, I'm not that much like my mother. I'm not drinking this tension away. I refuse. Admittedly that's why I went to the airport bar but when I got there, I chose a Sprite. Life is all about choices. Today I made some bad ones then he made worse ones and eventually we made a mutual one.

Were they choices? Or were we so caught up in the juxtaposition of traumas past and present that we reacted instinctively instead of logically? Why did I act the way I did? Why?

Why did I lie and try to distract Gil to get his father out of there without confrontation when I knew I shouldn't be deceptive? Why would I do that? I didn't want to hurt him. I didn't mean to embarrass him in front of the man he despises. What would make me do such a thing?

Like carbon under pressure producing a sparkling diamond, when she applied enough force to her long-term memory, an answer twinkled through the darkness.

It wasn't a choice, it was instinct. A conditioned behavioral response. I see it now. I see it…

"Mommy!" Sara rushed into the house panting and clutching her 4th grade math book. "I saw Daddy's car coming! You know he doesn't like you talking to other people. Tell the man to go away! Tell him to go away now!"

She watched as her mother and the guest leapt up from the couch and her mother rushed to get the man down the hall and out the back door.

"Hurry!" Sara shouted as she dropped her book and lunged for the wine glasses sitting on the coffee table.

The sound of the front door opening caused her to hurriedly tuck the glasses behind her back and freeze.

"Hey there Baby Girl," Her father sweetly greeted. "How was school today?"

"Good." Her heart pounded in her chest as she clenched the glasses tighter.

"Just good?" He laughed. "My little genius girl always has something more to say than good." Glancing around the room, he asked, "Where's your mother?"

"I think she's doing the laundry."

"Whatcha hiding behind your back?"

"Um…it's a picture… I'm making it for you." She squeaked as she felt one of the glasses sliding through her sweaty palm and fought to hold onto it.

"I look forward to seeing it when it's done." Turning to head for the kitchen, he heard the sound of glass shattering over the tile floor. "What the hell?"

Shaking, she saw her father heading towards her and a second later he was grabbing the remaining glass from her trembling hand. His expression had flipped from happiness to rage.

"She told you to hide these didn't she?"

"No."

"Don't lie to me, Sara!"

"I'm not!" She yelled as her mother re-entered the room. "I was playing with them! I was pretending to have a party! They're mine! Please don't fight! Daddy, please don't…"

In horror she watched the glass sail through the air, just miss her mother's head and crash against the wall. As she retreated to her usual hiding spot in the corner of the room, she chastised herself…if only I hid them in the cushions he wouldn't have found them. This is my fault.

It was my fault. I am my mother. I let an unwelcome guest into the house. I should have stuck to my convictions and sent Ron packing. I knew it was a mistake. But I wanted to know more about his heart condition and then when he started talking, I wanted to know everything he knew about Gil because there's so much I don't know…so much he won't share. I have to play games and win opportunities to get information from him. Now it's painfully obvious how little I know him. Her answer to Ron's question echoed in her mind. Gil doesn't have a temper. That's one of the reasons I was drawn to him. He's very stable. Yeah, I thought he was…he really was until today…he gave me everything I needed…

"I want this to be our house, Sara. Our home." Squeezing her hand tighter, Grissom said, "I love you. I want you in my life forever. What do you think?"

"Love and stability…the two things I always wanted and thought I would never get. Now I have both." Tears of happiness flowed down her cheeks. "Thank you. Yes!"

The happy memory reactivated her heartache as she realized…love and stability, the two things I always wanted, were brutally retracted today. Those two things were my life…and he mercilessly took them away in less than an hour.

Anxious to block the noises on the airplane and zone further into despair, Sara retrieved her iPod and donned her ear buds. Flipping through her collection she played the first melancholy song she found.

Greg's Apartment

With Greg gone for the night, Tawny busied herself tidying up the place while listening to the bittersweet song on the stereo.

A smile perked on her face as she organized Greg's desk. The old life was behind her and although it was a one bedroom apartment, not a castle and he was a CSI not a prince, the fairy tale she was living was already better than anything she'd ever read. It was enough to make her believe in the remote possibility of happily ever after…

Flight 902

Through glassy eyes, Sara stared at the platinum band on her left ring finger.

Slowly the fingers of her right hand circled around the ring as she recalled the words…Sara, do you agree to receive Gil as your lawfully wedded husband? Do you promise to love and respect him, to honor and cherish him, in sickness and in health, forsaking all others as long as you both shall live?

"I tried, I really tried," She whispered as the song faded. Sara, I give this ring to you as a token and promise of our constant faith and abiding love. "This wasn't supposed to happen…it was supposed to be forever."

Crime Lab
Break Room
9:50 p.m.

"This is taking forever!" Catherine snipped as she fiddled with the coffeemaker. "Something's not right with this thing. Where the hell is Sanders? He should be here by now!"

From the couch, Sofia sighed, "Didn't see any pre-shift action tonight, huh?"

"Are you looking in the mirror again, Blondie?"

"Good evening, Divas," Greg greeted while enjoying the stunned expressions on their faces. "What?"

Sofia crossed the room for a closer look. "Well you definitely saw some pre-shift action."

Catherine joined them. "I was so distracted by that hideous shirt you're wearing I barely noticed your battered face." Reaching out, she held him by the chin. "Hey… your messed up face matches your messed up hair!"

"Ha!" He excitedly replied, "That's what I expected Sara to say when she found out, but she let it slide. Thanks for not disappointing me."

"That really is a hideous shirt, Greg" Catherine snipped. "Somewhere there's a boy holding an empty Crayola box wondering, where did all my crayons go?"

Warrick breezed into the room. "Java ready yet?"

"The pot is going haywire," She informed him. "Only Greg speaks its language."

At the mention of Greg's name, Warrick looked at him for the first time. "What the hell happened to your face?"

Shyly, he admitted, "I…uh…got into a little altercation earlier today."

Sofia snarked, "Yeah…I heard your girlfriend had big boobs. Maybe you should stay on top so you don't get pummeled."

Warrick burst out laughing, which he immediately saw wasn't appreciated by his significant other/Sofia despiser. "Sorry, but that visual got me."

Grissom lurked in the doorway while gathering the strength to infiltrate the jovial group.

"The boss is here!" Greg shouted when he caught a glimpse of him. "Gris, can you believe these guys think there's something wrong with my face?"

"Uh…we got a busy night," Grissom replied without stepping foot in the room. "Warrick and Catherine, I'm sending you out on a 407 in Boulder City." Extending a piece of paper to Warrick, he added, "Take separate vehicles in case I need to send one of you elsewhere."

"Sure thing, Boss," Warrick took the paper and motioned for Catherine to join him. "I'll buy you a Starbucks on the way out of town."

"I guess I'm getting' lucky twice tonight," She replied while glaring at Sofia. "See ya!"

Grissom averted his eyes as Catherine walked by and when she disappeared down the hall with Warrick, he finished his assignments. "I need the two of you to drive together and meet me at this address." He gave the slip of paper to Sofia. "We've got to move right now. We're looking at a mess…two DBs and a 426 under the same roof. Sofia, at some point you'll be leaving the scene with the 426 vic to process her at the hospital, make sure you have a sexual assault evidence kit. I'll see you both there ASAP." On a dime he left the doorway.

"Hey, Gris…" Greg called out, "Why can't I ride with you instead of Sofia?"

Returning to the doorway, Grissom lashed out. "I just told you a woman was raped and two people are dead and you're dwelling on how you're getting your ass to the scene?"

"Sorry, I…" He noted the extreme expression on his boss's face and backpedaled. "I um…I just had something I wanted to discuss with you and I thought we could…but never mind. It's not important right now."

"Then stop wasting my time!" Grissom barked as he walked away.

"Whoa…there's a first. I've never seen Daddy pissed off at his favorite little boy." Sofia glanced at her team mate as they walked down the hall. "Either you screwed up, or wifey didn't give him any pre-shift action and you're his punching bag."

"Damn…I haven't seen him that unjustifiably cranky since he hooked up with Sara." Shaking off the negativity, Greg said, "I guess now that he's had time to think about the fight he's ticked at me."

"With the mood he's in…you better not screw up at the scene."

"Thanks for planting that in my head," Greg sighed as they stepped outside. "Who's driving?"

Hertz Rental Car
9:55 p.m.

After loading her baggage in the grey Ford Escape she rented, Sara slid into the driver's seat and started the engine.

Pulling out of the lot she wondered…what the hell am I doing here? Glancing over at the map the desk clerk had given her, she decided to forego a formal plan and just drive.

As she turned the steering wheel, she caught a glimpse of her wedding band that she couldn't slip off her finger earlier. I give this ring to you as a token and promise…

Corner of Eastern and Hacienda
Las Vegas, NV
10:08 p.m.

... of our constant faith and abiding love. With his eyes still on his wedding band instead of the stop light, Grissom didn't realize it had turned green until the sharp honk of a horn wrenched him out of his daze.

Taking his foot off the brake, he rolled through the intersection while continuing his analysis. If I take off the ring then everyone will know something is up. They'll figure it out. That's why I had to send Catherine and Warrick away tonight. I couldn't keep up the farce in front of them, they know me too well. Greg I can control. Sofia doesn't know me. I can pull it off. They won't see it. They won't figure out I'm dying inside. Dying because my wife did the one thing I never believed she could do…betray me.

As he gripped the steering wheel tighter, the wedding band pressed deeper into his flesh. This ring is suffocating me. It's killing me to wear it. I trusted her with my heart and now all I have is a hole in my chest. She took it all away. He heard an echo from his past…

She offers us a new life with her, but we have a big decision to make, right? Because we have to risk everything we worked for in order to have her. I couldn't do it…

Why the hell did I change my mind? I knew this would be the outcome. She warned me this would happen. She warned me…

"When you let someone inside your heart they own you," Jillian Grissom signed after handing her nine year old son a tissue. The sudden news of his father's re-marriage and planned move out of the country devastated her little boy and she was desperate to mend his shattered heart. "The sooner you push your father out of your heart the quicker the pain will go away. Push him out! He doesn't deserve to have a spot in your heart after what he did to you. People can't hurt you if you don't let them inside. So let this be a lesson. Never wear your heart on your sleeve. Guard your heart…guard it at all costs. Guard it and you'll always be safe."

I never should have let Sara in. Why did I think it was worth the risk? I wanted it so badly I let my guard down.

You risked it all and she showed you a wonderful life, didn't she? But then she took it away…

"And now I'm lost," He whispered as he parked his Tahoe at the crime scene and stepped outside. Fifty yards behind he saw Sofia pulling up with Greg.

"Don't let them see you upset, Son. Don't let them see your pain. You keep it inside. Keep it all inside. Look how people treat me when they realize I'm deaf…they see me as weak and when someone believes you're weak they'll wait for an opportunity to exploit you. Be strong on the outside no matter how much you're suffering on the inside."

The first signs of a headache were surfacing as Grissom glanced at the bright lights of the police cars lining the street. With his kit in hand, he quelled the dull ache with steady breathing as he waited for Greg and Sofia to join him.

Vartann hurried down the walk to meet the team. "You guys are going to need your waders for the blood bath in the girl's bedroom."

"What's the story?" Sofia asked. And when Grissom shot her a look she stared him down. "Sorry, Alpha Male, my curiosity got the best of me."

Grissom ignored her comment and stuck to business. "Give us the details, Vartann."

"It ain't pretty." Rubbing his forehead, he said, "Seventeen year old girl, Tasha Pavlik had her boyfriend over, Mark Toscana, also seventeen. They were at the kitchen table working on a project for some summer science course at UNLV. Along comes Trevor Johnson...described by neighbors as a high school misfit…a real loner but a gentle kid who wouldn't hurt a flea…how many times have we heard that one?"

"If it's not the butler, it's always the loner misfit," Sofia remarked as she tossed her hair off her shoulders.

Vartann nodded at his favorite blond CSI. "Apparently Trevor had a thing for Tasha but couldn't get it through his thick skull that she wasn't interested. He shows up tonight to nip at her heels and finds the object of his obsession with vic number one, Mark Toscana. Trevor, vic number two, snaps. He grabs a butcher knife and takes out Mark in the kitchen right in front of the girl. Having eliminated the competition, he decides Tasha is now his girlfriend and takes her to the bedroom. The mother, Lana Pavlik, comes home from the store and hears her daughter screaming. She rushes in and sees Trevor assaulting her little girl. She runs to the kitchen to get a knife and finds Mark bleeding out on the floor. She picks up the butcher knife Trevor had dropped and…let's just say you'll be piecing Trevor together."

Just hearing the story made Greg wince. "Damn, that's messed up."

"Yeah." Vartann led the way. "I'll take you in the back door so you can have a look. The girl and her mom are in the living room talking to a female officer. Ask them whatever you need to before they leave for the hospital to have Tasha processed."

When they entered the kitchen, their eyes focused on the red pool dominating the white tile floor.

"This is the warm-up," Vartann warned. "Trevor is back here." He led them out of the kitchen and down the hall, stopping just outside the bedroom. "I'll be outside. Let me know if you need anything."

The trio stepped into the room and faced the carnage.

"Rage killing," Sofia observed. "Not that I blame the mother." Lowering her kit, she readied her camera.

In silence Grissom assessed the gruesome scene while Greg felt the walls of the room closing in on him. "You guys I…" It was the worst he had witnessed by a long shot. Placing his kit on the floor, he steadied himself on the doorway.

"Greg!" Grissom snapped. "What the hell are you doing? Glove up before you touch anything. I should never have to tell you that. Never!"

"You're right…my mistake." The horrific sight and overpowering smells continued to overwhelm him as Greg bent down to open his kit and grab a pair of gloves.

"Let Greg take the photos," Grissom instructed Sofia.

Zooming in on the bloody covered knife, Sofia scoffed, "He can't even look at the body."

"Give Greg the camera," He insisted.

"Fine." She handed it over. "Start snapping."

"Body shots first," Grissom told him as he yanked on a pair of gloves. "Sofia, you bag the weapon since you already documented it. Greg…get a little closer. Evisceration is never pretty, but if you want to do this job you'll learn to deal with it. "

When last drop of blood drained from his face, he whimpered, "Grissom…" With a shaky hand, Greg held out the camera. "I've got to…"

"Not in the house!" Grissom shouted as Greg ran from the room covering his mouth.

"Nice going," Sofia clapped. "Feel better?"

"He has to toughen up if he's going to make it in this world." Grissom took over snapping the photos. "I'm doing my job."

"Tough love," Sofia remarked as she knelt down to label an evidence bag.

"Look around..." He lowered the camera. "…is there any other kind? Check out the blood spatter on the girl's teddy bear collection. You want to go tell her that love is sweet?"

"I'm going to check on Greg."

Raising the camera, he snipped, "Tell him not to come back in here until he can hold it together." Be strong on the outside no matter how much you're suffering on the inside. "And he better not be puking in front of the cops." Once he was alone, He lowered the camera and massaged his left temple. "Hold it together."

Dave's Diner
10:23 p.m.

Sara returned the bright smile of the elderly woman working the take out counter. "Thank you," She politely said as she received her change.

"You here on vacation?"

"Yes," She lied through a sunny smile. Actually I'm running away. I know I look a little old to be doing that, but I've always been a late bloomer.

"Been here before?"

"Yes." But please don't ask me about it. I never imagined I'd come back here. I don't even know why I came back here. But I had no where else to go and this place popped into my head. What does that mean?

"You're not much of a talker," The woman announced as she handed over the chocolate milkshake.

"No. Have a good night." Someone should and it's definitely not going to be me. I wonder if he's having a good night?

The Pavlik Home Crime Scene
10:24 p.m.

Grissom watched as the terrified girl clung to her mother. She was so traumatized she didn't even realize her mother was still drenched in Trevor Johnson's blood. "Did Trevor display any signs of abusive behavior prior to tonight?"

Lana Pavlik snapped, "I don't know how many times I warned that psycho to stay away from my little girl. Does abusive behavior have to mean he got physical with her?"

"No. Abusive behavior can be psychological. For instance, did he intimidate her?" Out of nowhere, his father's voice rang out in his mind. Your wife is getting very upset. Look at her, will you? Please stop.

"Trevor was great at intimidation," Lana angrily replied. "He wouldn't stop hounding her."

Grissom's mind skipped back to the words he spat earlier today. You still aren't getting it, Sara! Look at me! What is it going to take to make you get it! "Um…I'm sorry. You were saying?" He struggled to deny the image of Sara backing away from him in fear.

"I said the boy was always talking to her, making her feel like she was being cruel to him when she wasn't. Tasha was too nice to him. She wanted to protect his feelings…keep him from getting hurt. She kept telling him that she wasn't interested in being anything more than his friend. The bastard wouldn't leave her alone! He was a sick pup! Loved scaring her!"

You're scaring me! Sara's tearful pleas filled his head as his heart thumped in his chest. Stop! I can't handle this! Please don't do this! "Um…"

"Trevor never listened. Tonight I took care of the problem!" Seething with contempt, Lana held her daughter tighter. "My ex never listened to me either. Why don't they ever listen?" Her blood boiling, she screamed, "You're a man…you tell me. Why? Why wouldn't he listen to her! Why did he think it was okay to ignore her! Why did he think he had the right to terrorize her! She begged him to stop, god damn it! And he didn't listen!"

Officer Diaz stepped closer. "Ma'am…I know you're under a lot of duress…"

Grissom fell back in the chair as the voice of the terrified woman faded. Suddenly he was no longer in the Pavlik living room, he was in his own…in his favorite chair. And there was Sara. Just like earlier today, her mouth was moving but her words had no sound. Why was she mute? He wondered. Why can't I hear her? Are my ears are going again? Or maybe…maybe I wasn't listening. Mrs. Pavlik's scream filtered through…Answer me! Why didn't he listen to her! Why did he think he had the right to terrorize her! "Sara?" Grissom whispered.

"Mr. Grissom?" Officer Diaz asked. "Are you okay?"

"What did I do?" He gasped as the volume slowly rose and when Sara's voice finally boomed, he gripped the arms of the chair while the flood of her terror-fueled declarations washed over him.

"Stop! I can't handle this!"

"Please don't do this!"

"If you would just listen to me!"

"I was trying to protect you!"

"I never meant for you to get hurt!"

"Please calm down!"

"I can't stand seeing you like this!"

"Stop it!"

"You're scaring me!"

"Please don't do this!"

"No!"

Stay the hell away from me!

"Mr. Grissom?" The officer shook him. "Mr. Grissom…are you through here?"

"I…Yes!" Jumping out of the chair, he backed away. "Ms. Curtis will accompany you to the hospital." His eyes locked on the terrified girl…the fear in her eyes…the pain of her expression…the tremor of her body. Why did he think he had the right to terrorize her! She begged him to stop god damn it! When he bumped into an end table, Grissom was jolted out of his downward spiral.

Officer Diaz eyed the CSI suspiciously, wondering if he had been tipping a bottle before arriving. "Are you sure you're fit to be on the scene tonight?"

"I'm fine." He wiped the sweat from his brow. He could barely hear his words over his pounding heart. "I'm fine. It's just hot in here and…I…have a headache and I haven't had any water." The walls were closing in around him and he gulped for air. "I'll send Sofia," He informed the cop as he continued his retreat.

You risked it all and she showed you a wonderful life, didn't she?

But then she took it away…

…and you were lost.

"Oh my god." His hands covered his mouth as another memory rushed him.

"I want this to be our house, Sara. Our home. I love you. I want you in my life forever. What do you think?"

"Love and stability…the two things I always wanted and thought I would never get." She smiled. "Now I have both."

"What did I do?" When he reached the kitchen he gulped for air. She betrayed me so I wanted her to pay.

You risked it all and she showed you a wonderful life, didn't she?

But then she took it away…

…and you were lost.

But how could I go so far? Throwing open the back door, he raced to the corner of the empty yardLove and stability were what she lived for…they're all she had.I did it because I wanted to hurt her. I wanted to hurt her like she hurt me. So I went for the kill…and I executed it swiftly and without remorse.

But then she took it away…

…and you were lost.

So you took her life.

Falling to his knees, he dropped his throbbing head in his hands. "She's still breathing but I took her life."

Inside the house, Sofia snapped photos of the blood spattered curtains. "Hey, Greg. You need to see this."

Steadying himself for what was probably another gut wrenching sight, he carefully crossed the blood soaked floor. "What?"

"Look out the window." With her gloved hand, she held back the curtain so he could see Grissom puking his guts up in the back yard. "There comes a day in every boy's life when he suddenly realizes that his daddy is only human. Take a good look, Greg. He's just an ordinary man. No different than you. He's just better at the art of deception. Keep wearing your heart on your sleeve, Sanders." She patted him on the back. "It's healthier. If only someone had told that to Trevor he might have released enough steam to not explode one day."

Narrowing his gaze, Greg watched the shocking loss of control. "I should check on him."

"Don't forget to mention he's a hypocrite." Sofia smiled as she snapped another photo. "It's about time Mr. Holier than Thou got a wake up call."