This is a short pointless story written for Qindarka, because she rules, and this pairing rules, and she asked me to tell her a story, so I did. Then I revised a little because it had some logical errors and stuff, and here is the final version. The ending is left up to your own overactive imagination.
Disclaimer. Tweek and Craig don't belong to me. THEY BELONG TO EACH OTHER. No actually, they belong to Comedy Central. But I can pretend.
"Lost and Found"
Once upon a time, there was a boy named Craig. He wore a blue jacket and black pants, topped off by his spiky dark hair spilling out from beneath his blue aviator cap. He had a bad habit of shooting the bird at random intervals before or during conversation. He had a guinea pig named Stripe and watched Red Racer every day of the week. Unfortunately, Stripe had been growing older over the years, as living things tend to do, and eventually died. Craig had been saving up his allowance for some time, so he went out to buy a new pet, as it was the closest thing he could get to bringing Stripe back to life. He picked out one that looked a lot like Stripe, and named it Stripe. Much to his annoyance, his new critter friend escaped from his hands and ran into a sewer as he was carrying it home.
"God damn it," Craig muttered, before climbing down the murky sewer. It smelled of waste with a vague hint of lemon. He trudged through the muck, looking for his lost guinea pig. He was out of money, and he was not going to lose another pet so soon. As he was searching, he heard a faint voice crying out. He ran faster towards the noise. "Stripe! Stripe, is that you?" he called. The muddy water and disgusting human wastes splattered against the side of his shoe as he ran. The noises began to grow louder. They were calling in an almost rythimic pattern, "Gah!" and "Oh Jesus!"
Craig felt his foot hit something hard, and he fell down into the sewage below as he tripped on a rock that was inexplicably lodged on the floor beneath the water. The taste of shit filled his mouth as he landed. "It's too much pressure!" the far-away voice screamed as Craig picked himself up and brushed off the dirt on his clothes. He glared down at the floor and flipped off the rock he had tripped on. "Fucking rock," he growled as he continued searching for his lost guinea pig. After walking a few more feet, and calling out for his lost pet, Craig stumbled upon another human shape in the sewer. It was a jittery blonde boy, the source of the screams. "Tweek?" Craig inquired, interrupting another cry of "Jesus Christ." The blonde boy turned around to face him. It was indeed Tweek. "What are you doing here?" Craig asked.
"C-Cartman threw me down the sewer while he was f-fighting with Kyle. Gah!" Tweek replied, twitching and convulsing horribly. "I'm sc-scared, Craig! It's dark down here! And it sm-smells too!" Craig spaced out as Tweek continued, his eyes wandering to the area between Tweek's legs. As he stared, he noticed a curious furry shape sticking out of Tweek's back pocket. Could it be Stripe? He walked towards the other boy, determined to get his guinea pig back.
"Cr-Craig?" Tweek sputtered nervously, noticing Craig's fixation on his pants. "Gah! Wh-What are you doing?" Craig's smile grew wider as he realized the shape in Tweek's pocket was indeed his pet. He lunged for it, grinning that he had finally found what he was looking for. Tweek screamed as Craig's hand wrapped around the little ball of fur and yanked him out of Tweek's pants, the brunette's hand brushing against Tweek's ass as he did so.
"Thanks," Craig muttered as he walked away with his furry friend balanced on his palm.
"W-Wait! Don't go!" Tweek called. Craig turned around to see Tweek stroking the spot on his body that Craig had brushed in the way one might stroke a comfort blanket or a cute stuffed animal. "That f-felt good. Do it again."
Tweek winked, and Craig laughed.
THE END.