"For the Longest Time"
Chapter 1
June 1998 He sprinted up the path as fast as he could.He wasn't going to leave this alone.
He wasn't going to lose her again.
He rang the doorbell, and when there was no answer, he tried the door. It was open and he stepped inside. "Lois? Lois, I want to talk to you."
Lois stood up from where she was crouching down, picking up some of Ella's toys. "So when I don't answer the door, you think you can just waltz into my house?" She fiercely tossed the toys into a large wicker basket. "Get out."
"Let me explain," Clark said as Lois strode toward him. "I can explain."
"Sure you can." Lois swung at him. "Get out of my house, you bastard."
Clark grabbed her arms. "Stop it, Lois. Listen to me." Lois' resolve didn't change, but she did relax slightly. "I've loved you since the moment I met you, Lois. You know I love you. You have to know it. I know you know it."
"Let me love you," he pleaded softly. "Lois, let me love you."
"Oh yeah?" she challenged him, pulling away from him, her eyes flashing. "Where were you all this time? Why can't you tell me where you were for the last two and a half years, Clark? How can I love you if you can't even be honest with me?"
"I…" he trailed off. Nothing he could say was going to matter. She was right, but this wasn't the time to get into the intricacies of his other identity. And he couldn't apologize for leaving. It was his birthright to defend. "I'll take care of you. I'll take care of Ella. I'll love her as my own, if you'll let me, Lois."
Lois turned around so her back was to Clark. She bit her lip and blinked hard to keep the tears from falling. How many nights had she lain awake, hoping her baby's father would come back and love her? That he wouldn't abandon Ella like her own father did?
And now here he was, pleading for her to let him take care of them.
But it was too little, too late.
"Clark," she said, taking a deep breath, "I love my daughter more than anything."
"I can see that," he said. "You're incredible with her."
"Let me finish," she said, finally turning around to face him. "But I can't subject her to the hurt when you leave again."
Clark gulped. He knew he couldn't promise he wouldn't ever leave again, especially if war broke out again on New Krypton. It was unlikely, but it was unfair to make a promise he knew he couldn't keep. Especially to a two-year-old.
"You haven't been here," she continued angrily. "You don't know … you weren't there for her first step, her first word …"
Now Clark was getting angry, not to mention confused. Who was she to be angry that he wasn't there for her child's first step and first word? Ella wasn't his child
"I didn't even know you were pregnant, let alone that you were pregnant with Dan Scardino's child. Why don't you take our your aggression on him if he wasn't there for Ella?"
Lois drew in a sharp breath. How could he not know? How could he be so blind? One look at Ella and he should have known.
But he didn't.
And maybe it was better to keep it that way.
"Please leave, Clark."
"Lois…"
"No, I don't want to hear it. Please leave." She walked to the door and opened it. "I can't hear another excuse, and I can't allow myself to be drawn into what you say is the truth and then be trampled, yet again, when it turns out to be a lie."
Clark sighed. "Fine, I'll go. But this isn't the end."
Lois watched the door shut softly and sank down into the plush comfort of her couch.
Where did it all go wrong?
To be continued …