Finally, she stirred slightly, looking around. It was dark in her room, all of the lightbulbs had exploded, and the sun had long since faded from the sky outside her window. It must have been cloudy out because all she saw when she looked out her window was a deep black void that seemed to draw her in, into the darkness. After a moment of staring, transfixed, out the window, she shook her head and pushed herself into a sitting position. The dark decor of her room reflected no stray light, so the darkness was complete. For some reason, she felt more comfortable in the dark anyway, in the dark she didnt have to worry about hiding herself because the dark did that for her. Calmly, she stepped down onto he floor, her bare feet touching the cool wood. She stood still for a moment as her head spun, then continued on her way. Her foot brushed against some broken glass, sending it tinkling across her room and she sighed, imagining having to wake the other Titans to stitch her foot from having stepped on broken glass. Making a face, she whispered,
"Azarath, metrion, zinthos" and her hand glowed slightly. Using that light, she made her way safely to her closet where she kept a supply of candles and matches for an occasion such as this.
Quickly, she lit a candle and let the glow on her hand extinguish. She was getting her strength back faster then she thought possible. Of course, she was a healer, and she was far from full strength, but still, her powers were coming back in force and she welcomed them and hated them at the same time. Turning around, she surveyed the damage done to her room. Everything was off the shelves and thrown about, and almost everything breakable was. With a sigh, she began to clean up.
She worked for about a half an hour before she came to the glass she had orginally encountered and saw what it was. It had been part of a picture frame, holding a picture of her and the other Titans. When her power caused it to explode, the shards of glass had torn through the picture, tearing it to shreds. Shaking slightly, she stared at the torn picture laying dejectedly on her floor. 'Is this what is going to become of us? Torn apart by my power? Am I going to destroy them?' she wondered, fear rising in her.
She was terrified of losing them, terrified of hurting them, terrified of herself. Frustration and anger welled up in her as she tried to clean up the glass and put the picture back together with shaking hands. She couldn't do it and instead just stared at the picture, trying to hold the shreds together. Her hands were clenched in fists so tight her knuckles were white. After a while, she realized a stinging pain was coming from her hand and she looked at it, watching bright red blood drip from her fist onto the floor. Slowly, she opened her hand and realized she had been clenching her fist on a piece of glass. Instead of feeling hurt though, she felt good, she felt relieved. The blood fascinated her and the pain released her from her inner torment. As if in a dream, she raised the glass shard to her arm and pressed it down, slowly moving it across, staring in childlike wonder as her pale skin parted revealing dark red blood. It didn't hurt like it should, instead it felt comforting, it felt like all the emotions she was trying so hard to bottled up were just draining out of her.
When she finally snapped out of the trancelike state, five more cuts crossed her forearm and wrist, and her hands and the floor around her was covered in blood. She jumped back, startled and disgusted at herself. 'What the hell are you doing! Are you stupid! What would the others think of you if they found out? They would think you were crazy and lock you up! Oh God, I can't let them see this, they would never understand...I never meant to... I can't believe i just did that. I'm a weak pathetic fool.' Disgusted, she jumped to her feet, ignoring the slight feeling of dizziness, and found some tissues which she used to stop the bleeding and clean up the blood. She tried to heal the cuts but nothing happened, her powers were weak again, and were never meant to be used on herself.
Thankful that her leotard had long sleeves, Raven pulled her sleeves down, hoping the cuts wouldn't start bleeding until she had time to find some bandages or something. She put all of her bloody tissues and the bloody pieces of glass in one bag and hurried to bring it outside, so the others wouldnt see any of the blood. She quickly dumped it in the dumpster behind the Titan tower and turned to go back inside, nearly jumping out of her skin when she encountered a soft sold form.