A/N: I really had high hopes for posting this last week, but I don't know what happened. Sorry! (I know I said I'd update fast, with that cliffhanger and all…) Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter…it starts with Eiji's POV of what happened at the end of Ch. 5, and then progresses from there. (It seemed like this might clear up any confusion about Eiji's actions/motivations…I hope so, anyway – let me know what you think…)

Chapter Six

Eiji wasn't sure why he was surprised. He had known for a long time that this would be all it would take. He had been able to push Oishi away like this once, but Eiji knew that if Oishi ever appeared in front of him again it would be impossible.

Oishi was here now, and despite everything, inside of Eiji there was this amazing feeling of happiness and this flooding of relief, and this jittery feeling in the pit of his stomach that was making his knees weak. Eiji had told himself for so long that he would never feel any of these things again, and now he was feeling so much, it was overwhelming. He was forgetting that he had to protect himself and that this would hurt so much later, when Oishi left again. Eiji had promised himself that he would never let this happen again, not without a guarantee, not without Oishi promising him that he would be next to him forever.

But Oishi was just standing there, in the middle of the stands, as if he belonged there, as if he had always been there, and so of course none of these things mattered anymore.

Eiji had been staring up at Oishi, and even though he knew it was silly, he was trying not to blink, just in case Oishi might disappear. He was wondering too if Oishi was going to say something, or come closer, when suddenly he heard Hideaki's voice from inside the locker room.

Eiji had somehow forgotten about Hideaki, that he was here too. And Eiji realized suddenly, that unless he went into the locker room now, Hideaki would come outside, and he would be angry, and Eiji really had no idea what Hideaki would do if he saw him standing here like this.

Oishi's face shifted and blurred in front of him and Eiji was starting to feel sick, as he imagined all the horrible things that could happen. His legs felt heavy too, and he was panicking, as he realized how unprepared he was for this. He had to do something, he had to fix this, but he had no idea how, and his heart was pounding against his chest so loud he couldn't even think.

It just wasn't fair for Oishi to come here. It wasn't fair either that even though he could already tell how badly it would hurt, and even though he was sure his heart was breaking already, Eiji still wanted to be close to Oishi right now.

Eiji knew that he had to deal with Hideaki in the locker room, but after that he would come back out, and maybe Oishi would still be there, maybe everything would be ok again.

Eiji wondered how he could possibly think it would be that easy, as he turned and walked towards the locker room.

………………………………………………………………………………………..

Inside, Eiji was brought back to his senses quickly. Hideaki was obviously angry. He shoved Eiji hard into the lockers, as several people scrambled away, swearing at them. Eiji tried to kick off his shoes, knowing they were most likely headed to the showers.

"What the hell are you doing? I've been calling you for five minutes!" The captain's voice had an edge to it that immediately infuriated Eiji.

Hideaki's arms pinned Eiji against the lockers, and he glared at the smaller boy, almost daring him to fight back. He was shocked when Eiji pushed him backwards with a surprising amount of strength, and forced him to take a step backwards.

Eiji never talked back to Hideaki when he was like this, but right now it felt like something had snapped inside of him. Eiji was so angry; in that instant that it didn't seem to matter that he was about to do something he would most likely regret later.

Eiji's head was spinning, and before he realized it, he was yelling, knowing that Hideaki wasn't listening, and that even if he was, it didn't matter because he probably wasn't making any sense anyway. Suddenly all Eiji could think about was how desperately he needed to fix everything that was wrong, quickly, before Oishi saw, even though he knew how impossible that was.

Eiji knew that Hideaki didn't care at all, that Hideaki had never cared at all about how he felt, especially how he felt about Oishi, but Eiji was trying to tell him a million things at once anyway. Eiji was telling him that he didn't want this, that he had no idea what he was doing, or what was happening, and then he was even stupidly asking Hideaki what he should do, about Oishi. He was asking Hideaki if he had seen Oishi too, and then Eiji was asking if he would please go and look and see if Oishi was still there, because he had to know if Oishi was still there, if he was still waiting.

At first Hideaki had just stopped and stared at Eiji, but his shock had faded into something else, almost embarrassment, and he grabbed Eiji roughly by the arm, dragging him past the lockers to the showers, pushing people out of the way to clear their path, and ignoring the stares and whispers.

Finally, when they had reached the end shower stall, Hideaki stopped, opening the door with one hand and pushing Eiji into the corner with the other, sighing loudly as he leaned against the tiled wall.

Hideaki looked down at Eiji. "Will you please shut up already? I heard you the first time, and yes, I know, I saw him too."

Eiji was crying, something he never did in front of anyone anymore, especially Hideaki, but he couldn't help it. Hideaki had seen Oishi too, and that meant that he really was there, and now Eiji was really panicking. Because he loved Oishi so much, Eiji knew he wouldn't be able to hold it in, and he knew that he would end up doing something really stupid, something that would really hurt. It didn't seem fair for Eiji to still love Oishi this much right now, when everything was falling apart, when Oishi probably hated him, and would hate him even more when he found out about everything Eiji had done, and what an idiot he was. He knew that Hideaki was a ridiculous choice to ask for advice, especially in this situation, but he was staring up at the captain, desperately, because he was the only person there, asking for advice, begging for him to understand.

"What should I do?" Eiji asked simply, not sure Hideaki could even hear him over the multiple showers that were running.

Hideaki was crouching next to him now, and Eiji closed his eyes, not knowing what to expect at all. Hideaki kept his distance though, and he was talking in a normal voice now. "What do you mean what should you do?" Hideaki rolled his eyes. "Obviously, you just go out there and talk to him."

Eiji stared at the captain in surprise, not expecting such a logical answer.

"I won't interfere." Hideaki said flatly, before turning away, and closing the door to the stall behind him.

…………………………………………………………………………………………..

Eiji stayed in the shower for what felt like a long time. Somehow Hideaki's answer had calmed his mind down for the time being. Eiji wondered how long that would last though.

After another minute, Eiji realized suddenly that he was still wearing his uniform. He could hear that all the other showers had stopped now, and he turned off the water slowly, fumbling a little because his hands were shaking. He realized too that he was a little dizzy, maybe because of the heat of the shower.

He couldn't remember which locker he had put his things in either, and he wondered how long it would take him to find everything. He stepped out of the shower, a little unsteadily, and to his surprise, found that his clothes were already laid out next to his bag, which was sitting right there on the bench outside the shower. His shoes were there too, under the bench, and Eiji was glad he had kicked them off, or they would be soaking wet now too.

He stepped out of his clothes automatically, and they made a sickening slap on the pavement of the locker room floor. He blinked, the room still not quite in proper focus, as he fumbled in his bag for a towel, almost slipping on the wet floor as he dripped everywhere. Then Eiji felt something dry being draped around his shoulders and he glanced up in surprise, and watched as Hideaki took a step backwards.

The captain stood there for a minute watching Eiji as he dried off, and changed. He cringed a little, and then shook his head, as he watched Eiji pick up his wet clothes and stuff them into his bag without even wringing them out. It was strange, how things had ended up, he was thinking, as he watched Eiji. It was always like this with Hideaki though, he decided things impulsively, and then sometimes regretted them later, but in this case, he felt strongly that he was making the right decision. He knew what he had to do, and he wanted to get it over with as soon as possible.

Eiji was sitting down, drying off his hair. He had just bent down to tie his shoes when Hideaki said, his back to Eiji, "It's over, ok. Everything stops right now." Then he added, as an afterthought, as he started to walk away, "Oh, and in case you're wondering; he's still out there."

Eiji had been lost in some thought or another, and hadn't been listening. He looked up, startled, just in time to see Hideaki's legs disappearing around the corner of the row of lockers. He stood up, following him, knowing that Hideaki had said something, and that he should ask him to repeat it, or he would end up being angry later. Eiji asked several times, for Hideaki to repeat what he had said, and then followed Hideaki almost to the door, before he froze, realizing that he really didn't care at all about anything Hideaki said. All he really cared about was whether or not Oishi was still outside. Hideaki was glaring at him though, and Eiji felt like he should say something. "What?" he asked, honestly confused.

"Shut up, Eiji." Hideaki sighed wearily, knowing that he hadn't been able to fully take the edge out of his voice like he had meant to. But it didn't matter; he knew Eiji wasn't paying any attention anyway.

Eiji watched the door slam behind Hideaki. Then he could hear Hideaki saying something outside. He was sure he heard him say Oishi's name, and Eiji knew he had to go out there and stop him from whatever he was about to do, or say. After a few seconds he closed his eyes, and took a few steps forward.

……………………………………………………………………………………………...

Outside it smelled like rain. Eiji could feel the warm air wrapping around him, but a cool breeze ruffled his hair lightly and sent a shiver down his back. Hideaki was gone, and Eiji realized he must have been standing behind the door longer than he'd thought. Eiji closed his eyes, and when he opened them again and looked up, Oishi was there.

Oishi was right there and he was very real, more real than anything else, and Eiji could feel himself gravitating forward. He forced himself to stop at what he thought would be a safe distance from Oishi, but then Oishi moved closer, and Eiji could almost breathe him in, he could almost feel him. Oishi was real, Eiji told himself again. Oishi was here, and it felt wonderful.

Oishi said something, about the match, and Eiji didn't know how to respond, and so he just stared at him, and then shook his head when he realized that Oishi was complementing him, which was silly, because Eiji hadn't played that well, and he was so much better at doubles than singles anyway.

A second later, there was a shudder of thunder, and Oishi moved even closer. Their eyes met, and inside Eiji turned to fire. His pulse was racing, and Eiji wondered if Oishi could feel it too. And then Oishi said his name, and everything else faded away. Eiji closed his eyes, and when he opened them again, everything was a blur.

He didn't even realize he was running away again, until he was halfway to the parking lot.

…………………………………………………………………………………………….

Oishi was out of breath. Eiji had always been a good sprinter, and Oishi figured that even though he had tried to stay in shape while he was away, he didn't play a sport anymore every day like Eiji did so it was probably understandable for him to be winded like this.

The parking lot was a jumbled mess of cars, and Oishi didn't see Eiji at first, and wondered for a second if maybe he had been parked close and was already gone. But for some reason Oishi knew better than that. Eiji had a bad habit of forgetting where he parked. It would take him five minutes or more without help in a large lot like this, Oishi was thinking. He was really grateful in that moment for this particular quirk of Eiji's. Oishi walked around the perimeter of the lot, looking up and down the rows of cars, before he spotted Eiji. He was leaning against the fence at the far end of the lot, also looking out of breath, and seeming a little frustrated. He was leaning forward with his hands on his knees, and his tennis bag was dangling awkwardly from one arm.

"You can't find it?" Oishi asked tentatively, and Eiji looked up, surprised, and then shook his head, still maintaining eye contact with Oishi, though his eyes were filling with tears.

Eiji allowed Oishi to take his bag, and lead him for a few feet over to the curb. Oishi instructed him to sit, and Eiji did, but before Oishi even had a chance to sit down next to him, Eiji was yelling. It was an explosion that Oishi had been expecting, but he still found it somewhat jarring.

Oishi listened, trying to be thankful that at least Eiji wasn't trying to run away again. He had been really upset for a second back there, until he realized that it didn't matter any more, how much Eiji pushed him away, because there was no way Oishi was leaving this time until Eiji talked to him.

But Oishi knew too that sometimes Eiji didn't want to talk if he was really upset. He knew that sometimes Eiji just needed to yell. This was a million times better than silence anyway, Oishi told himself. He couldn't help but wonder after a few minutes though how productive this really was for either of them.

Eiji hadn't stopped screaming for almost five minutes, and it was getting more than a little difficult to listen to the endless stream of anger and bitterness and rage that Eiji was throwing at him right now. Oishi couldn't even understand what he was saying half the time, but the general point was that Oishi had no right to be there, that Eiji hated him for leaving and for coming here and ruining everything all over again, and that everything was Oishi's fault, for leaving him. Finally, Oishi was so frustrated that he had to just cut Eiji off.

"EIJI!" Surprisingly, Eiji stopped, almost immediately, and looked at Oishi, surprised. Oishi rarely raised his voice, and couldn't even remember the last time he had yelled at Eiji, even in their most heated arguments. But he was mad, and he felt like this was the only way he could get Eiji's attention anyway.

"What are you talking about? You stopped talking to me, remember! On your birthday you wouldn't even let me into your room and I spent the night freezing to death outside after you said you never wanted to see me again! You shut me out! So stop saying this is my fault. You left me!"

Eiji stared at Oishi for a second, before he shook his head, his eyes flashing dangerously, "NO! You left me first, Oishi! And you were going to leave me again. On my birthday, you were going to leave me all over again!" Eiji knew Oishi wouldn't understand, but he said it anyway, quietly, "It was my only chance."

Oishi was trying to sort out the truth from what was just Eiji being angry, but it was difficult. He asked again, this time without raising his voice, "Eiji, what are you talking about? Your only chance for what?"

Eiji really didn't know what was wrong with him, but he was screaming again, and shaking and crying, doing everything he had sworn he would never do. But he couldn't help it. A year's worth of anger and hurt poured out of him as he screamed and cried and swore at Oishi for so long that his voice was hoarse and he could barely breathe.

He felt like he could scream forever because he was so angry, and it was so unfair that no matter what Eiji said, Oishi would never understand how he felt. Eiji had been trapped for so long in what felt like an endless circle of missing Oishi, and wanting him, and being so consumed by his absence that he couldn't even think straight, and he knew that he just couldn't make Oishi understand, that it was impossible.

Oishi could never understand how scary it was, to love someone so much, to depend on someone so much, and then have them just disappear. He could never understand how scary it was to feel so irrational, and so alone. Because Oishi was always fine.

Eiji just wanted to be free from all of this. When he saw Oishi standing there on his birthday he had thought the same thing - that if he pushed Oishi away now, he might have a chance at being free. Because he knew that if he let Oishi in, even for a second, there would be no chance at all anymore. If he could somehow deny Oishi this power that he had over him, then maybe, it would be ok

Eiji had pushed Oishi away on his birthday, simply because he was able to. Usually it wasn't even an option, but as soon as Eiji realized that to protect himself, all he had to do was get inside his room, and stay there, it was almost too easy. It was easy also, once he was inside, to pretend that nothing had happened, and Eiji had almost been proud of himself, for his ability to push the entire thing out of his mind. Of course it didn't make any difference in the end. Of course, even now, Eiji was still trapped.

But maybe Oishi could make it ok now. Eiji wanted him to, and he had to believe that he could. Because he knew that this time, he had no chance.

Eiji told Oishi all of this. Or at least he tried to. At some point he just stopped though, because he couldn't breathe anymore, and because the ground by his feet was shifting in and out of focus. He closed his eyes and tried to concentrate on breathing for a second, as all of his other thoughts faded away.

Eiji opened his eyes again after a minute and leaned forward, taking a few deep breaths. Something cold and wet was pelting his back, and he shivered.

He wondered where Oishi was, but was afraid to look. Eiji knew he had been acting crazy, and that he had said a lot of ridiculous things, things that he never meant to say out loud to anyone, ever, and he told himself that Oishi was probably gone now, that he would probably never see him again. Eiji pulled his knees to his chest, feeling the cool rain slide down his back. Where was Oishi, he kept thinking over and over, but he refused to open his eyes. Eiji could feel someone standing over him, but he still refused to look. But then he felt the familiar arms around him and he knew.

"Eiji, please let me touch you."

Oishi's voice was thick with tears. These were the first words Eiji had really heard, though he was aware that Oishi had been talking before. Oishi sounded so sad, and this made Eiji feel even worse, and made him cry even harder, as he felt Oishi's arms wrapping tightly around his chest.

"No, I…I don't want this memory." Eiji was saying the words quietly, not sure if he was even speaking out loud, but then said, a little louder, "Oishi, I don't want this….please…you'll leave, and then…" Eiji's tears were coming from a different place now, somewhere deep inside of him, as he tried to stand up, and tried to push Oishi's arms away. Absently, Eiji was thinking that now that Oishi had come to a tennis match, he wouldn't be able to forget about Oishi when he played tennis, and that he hated Oishi for that.

Oishi was standing now too, "Eiji, I'm not leaving. I love you. I told you I would come back, and-"

Eiji shook his head, "NO! I don't believe you. If you loved me…you never would have left…never…" Eiji knew that this wasn't true, and that it wasn't fair, and he really had no idea why he was still saying these things. He didn't want to hurt Oishi, he just…he didn't know what he wanted anymore.

"How can you say that, Eiji?' Oishi's voice was quiet. He knew that Eiji was just upset, but Eiji had never questioned his feelings, ever. And suddenly Oishi was feeling defensive. "You told me it was ok for me to go. That you wanted me to be happy. And I called you every day. I came to visit you and you wouldn't even look at me. And now…why do you think I'm here? How can you say that you don't believe me?"

Oishi sounded angry again now, and Eiji was reacting, without really thinking. It reminded him of the way he argued with his brothers and sisters at home, when he knew he had already lost, but kept going anyway, just to save face, or something, which he knew was ridiculous in this situation, but he couldn't help it. He had never been very good at arguing, after all. But he really didn't know what else to do right now.

"Fine, fine, it's all my fault. Right, Oishi?" Eiji spat the words back with a wave of his hand. "It was my fault that after you left I couldn't move and I couldn't sleep and I couldn't do anything, and I was so sad, and…you were fine, and I felt so stupid….and I missed you so much-" Eiji's voice broke off, and he coughed. He wasn't used to yelling so much, and his throat was starting to hurt. Eiji knew that he was acting like a child, and that none of his logic made any sense anymore. He knew that he was losing steam. Oishi was right. Eiji knew that everything was his fault, and he had known that for a long time. He should just stop now. There was no reason for him to try to protect himself anymore. Eiji knew it was over.

Oishi was quiet for a second, just looking at him. He reached out his hand and touched Eiji's shoulder. Eiji didn't back away, and Oishi pulled him close, holding him tightly, and at the same time trying to shield him a little from the rain that was falling steadily now. "Eiji, I'm sorry I got angry. Please keep talking. Please tell me how you feel."

Eiji wrapped his arms around Oishi's back, breathing in deeply. Oishi felt so good, and Eiji could feel everything else start to fade away again. Maybe this was all he wanted anyway. Yes, Eiji was sure now that this was all he wanted, that he just wanted Oishi to take care of him. Just this right now, was fine… Eiji buried his head against Oishi's neck, and a whispered apology left his lips before Eiji even realized it.

Oishi pulled away, un-muffling Eiji's voice, so that he could hear him.

"I'm sorry…" Eiji murmured again, wrapping himself closer around Oishi. Right then, Eiji felt like he needed to be closer to Oishi, except that he was already holding him as tight was he could. Oishi's body was warm, but Eiji was shivering anyway. "Oishi, I'm…cold."

"I'm cold too…" Oishi had realized a while ago that they had to move inside, or something, or they both really would catch a cold. "Eiji, will you let me help you find the car? So we can go inside?"

"Mmm," Eiji murmured in agreement, but didn't move.

Oishi moved away a little, holding Eiji's shoulders so that he could see his face. "Eiji, I want to take you home, but you have to promise me something first." Eiji blinked at him a few times through the rain, and Oishi smiled for a second, even though he was trying to be serious. "Promise me you'll tell me everything, ok? How you felt, what happened. You…you wouldn't talk to me, and no one else would talk about you to me. I had no idea. I want to know. Everything, ok?"

Eiji was quiet, and Oishi pulled him close again because he was afraid of letting Eiji go right then, even just to walk to the car. Now that Oishi could feel Eiji relaxing a little, he just wanted to stay there with him forever. But he knew that they had to go inside. Eiji still wasn't saying anything, and Oishi whispered, "Please, Eiji. Promise me you'll talk to me."

And then Oishi couldn't resist kissing him. He pressed his lips softly against Eiji's neck, and then behind his ear, and then lightly, on his lips, a brush of contact that sent a shiver down Oishi's spine.

"I promise," Eiji said quietly, after a second. "Oishi, I'm sorry. For yelling…I…"

But Oishi was shaking his head, and then he smiled and whispered in Eiji's ear that they should go home, and relaxed his grip, letting Eiji reach over into his bag to find his keys.

A/N: It's strange, this happened in my last story too, where I arrive at a point and I realize that I could stop, but I just don't want to, because there's more that I want to write, even though the main issue is resolved. Well, sort of resolved. But I just really want them to be together, you know? And I think they need to talk, and so that's what the next and probably final chapter will be…with some fluff, of course. :) I hope you'll keep reading. And thanks so much again for reading and reviewing so far - the reviews have really kept me going!