The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy: Toon Edition

By Vivi Highwind

A/N: I have been reading this book lately and I've just become obsessed. If you have not read this I highly suggest you buy the first book of the ultimate one with all five in one. Also I highly suggest reading the book before you read this so as to not ruin the plot. Also at first I will be quoting a lot of the book but I will drift apart soon (I promise.)This chapter sets up the story. Currently I'm deciding on having Rugrats earth as the earth for this story but if you have an idea of who I could make Dil into please tell me in a review also tell me if you have an idea for the Zaphod. (oh and Marvin too.)

Marvin: Oh yeah Thanks for including me… I'll be sulking off now

Disclaimer: Douglas Adams's The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy-published by the Random House publishing Group

Copy right dates for the series books as follows

THGTTG- 1979 by Douglas Adams

TRATEOTU- 1980 by Douglas Adams

LTUAE- 1982 by Douglas Adams

SLATFATF- 1985 by Douglas Adams

YZPIS- 1986 by Douglas Adams

MH- 1992 by Serious Productions

Ok here you go,

Chapter 3 Hungover.

He stood and thought. The pub, he thought. Oh dear, the pub. He vaguely remembered being angry, angry about something that seemed important. He'd been telling people about it, telling people about it at great length, he rather suspected: his clearest visual recollection was of glazed looks on other people's faces. He also remembered something vaguely of it being a Something about a new bypass he had just found out about. It had been in the pipeline for months only no one seemed to have known about it. Ridiculous. He took a swig of water. It would sort itself out, he'd decided, no one wanted a bypass, the council didn't have a leg to stand on. It would sort itself out. Not even aliens would want a bypass they'd just steer their rocket past a planet and continue forward. They just want to make more money or something don't even care that I've been living here for years.

God what a terrible hangover it had earned him though. He looked at himself in the wardrobe mirror. He stuck out his tongue. "Yellow," he thought. The word yellow wandered through his mind in search of something to connect with.

Fifteen seconds later he was out of the house and lying in front of a big yellow bulldozer that was advancing up his garden path.

Mr. E. Pangborn was, as they say, only human. In other words he was a carbon-based life form descended from an ape. More specifically he was forty, fat and shabby and worked for the local council. Curiously enough, though he didn't know it, he was also a direct male-line descendant of Genghis Khan, though intervening generations and racial mixing had so juggled his genes that he had no discernible Mongoloid characteristics, and the only vestiges left in Mr E. Pangborn of his mighty ancestry were a pronounced stoutness about the tum and a predilection for little fur hats.

He was by no means a great warrior: in fact he was a nervous worried man. Today he was particularly nervous and worried because something had gone seriously wrong with his job — which was to see that Dil Pickle's house got cleared out of the way before the day was out.

"Come off it, Mr Pickles,", he said, "you can't win you know. You can't lie in front of the bulldozer indefinitely." He tried to make his eyes blaze fiercely but they just wouldn't do it.

Dil lay in the mud and squelched at him.

"Mr. Pangborn your in charge of this?" Dill asked

"Yea, I moved here a few years ago I see you still haven't changed much?" He responded.

"Not too much but, I thought you died like what 5 years ago?" Dill smirked noticing that he looked much older than you did back when I was in Elementary school."

"Ha-ha no that was my brother actually. Now, give it up Dill. I'm afraid you're going to have to accept it," said Mr Pangborn gripping his fur hat and rolling it round the top of his head, "this bypass has got to be built and it's going to be built!"

"First I've heard of it," said Dil, "whys it going to be built?"

Mr Pangborn shook his finger at him for a bit, then stopped and put it away again.

"What do you mean, whys it got to be built?" he said. "It's a bypass. You've got to build bypasses."

Bypasses are devices which allow some people to drive from point A to point B very fast whilst other people dash from point B to point A very fast. People living at point C, being a point directly in between, are often given to wonder what's so great about point A that so many people of point B are so keen to get there, and what's so great about point B that so many people of point A are so keen to get there. They often wish that people would just once and for all work out where the hell they wanted to be.

Mr Pangborn wanted to be at point D. Point D wasn't anywhere in particular, it was just any convenient point a very long way from points A, B and C. He would have a nice little cottage at point D, with axes over the door, and spend a pleasant amount of time at point E, which would be the nearest pub to point D. His wife of course wanted climbing roses, but he wanted axes. He didn't know why - he just liked axes. He flushed hotly under the derisive grins of the bulldozer drivers.

A/N read and review it Please?