Forever
Reasons
Unknown
I Love you
Till my last breathe
Say you love me too
Graduation… never has there been so much sadness in a single word, sweet Lily, it's true because in the Spring, we will graduate… then there will be no more glances at your sweet face, like the one I had today. No more talking with you…
I still haven't forgotten the day, the day I first met you on the Hogwarts Express,
'Lily Evans? Hello, I'm James Potter.'
Your emerald eyes were shining with joy, and your red silky hair was billowing behind you. Yes, that single perfect moment was more important to me than all the greatest treasures in the world; priceless and irreplaceable.
'I-I just wanted t-to tell you, I-I think you're really b-beautiful.'
She scoffed, 'Thank you, I guess that was really sweet… of course, I can't be sure if it comes from a git like you… but I guess it's kind of you to say.'
Ever since that day, I have been a slave for love; and my small pitiful heart has been filled to the brink with love for my Lily. Lily… oh Lily, it is my fate to be forever cursed by visions of your angelic face, like a prick upon the thorn of a rose…
"Prongs, earth to Prongs…" Sirius Black, or Padfoot, one of my three other partners in crime called.
I stared at him, my eyes burning from not blinking over a few minutes. He shaved today, but his black hair was still elegantly placed on his head and his deep crystalline blue eyes were brimming with happiness. Of course, Sirius was always bubbly, happy, and all around good natured. He was loyal, brave… yet, very stupid and foolish. Most people would describe him as sort of a… a dog. He tended to attract the female population, and drool over them like a juicy steak awaiting his approval.
"Jamesy, we have Minnie's class next!" he called over his shoulder as I picked up my bag and walked off with him; my thoughts of my beautiful red-head long forgotten... for that short moment anyway.
Transfiguration…
"James," Remus, or Moony, whispered to me, "James, you need to stop looking at Lily and take notes. Professor McGonagall won't be please to know you're slacking off; after all, you are Head Boy."
Remus Lupin, fellow Marauder and the definite brains of our group is the next on my list of friends. He, like Sirius, shaved this morning. His mahogany coloured hair was ruffled and thick, and dark circles hung around his piercing amber eyes. He too, was loyal and courteous, and made the teachers proud. He was made Prefect in fifth year, and it was quite a shock when I received Head Boy; we all thought Remus would get it for sure. Because of his condition, my fellow Marauders and I became Animagi to help him during his transformations… but, that story is for another time.
"James, are you okay?" Remus asked worriedly.
"Huh, oh y-yea, sorry j-just thinking…" I trailed off when my eyes landed back at my buxom, beautiful red-head.
Lily Evans, girl of my dreams, and the person who hates me more than anyone in the entire universe. Her long golden red hair now reached mid-back, her complexion was clear, and her emerald eyes shone with delight as she answered the questions Minnie asked. She was a fiery spirit and her temper was enough to rattle your bones. She had a very womanly body, and this is one reason I suppose she thinks I want her, but she's wrong.
My sweet Lily, can't you see there is nothing I won't do to protect you, even if it means to stoop as low as to watch you from afar and dream of you at night? Because, there isn't anything more important, not even my own life…
"James, the bell just rang, we have to go to Divination next." Remus stated and walked outside, leaving me to trail after him.
Divination…
It's Lily. Lily, right here before my eyes!
We, Sirius, Remus, and I (Peter, who you will meet in he near future, has Muggle Studies instead), walked in late and had to sit with Lily at her table. Her friends, Alice and Dorcas, were also in Muggle Studies this period.
It has been so long since I've talked to her face-to-face. I have to make the most of this chance fate has given me; I have to try and talk to her for as long as possible!
"Hello Remus, Black…" her eyes widened in surprise, "James?"
Well, this is it. I have to find the strength to tell her how I feel; but I can't say anything to scare her away. I must say something to grab her attention… something intelligent. The count down to graduation has begun and I have been given this one chance, I cannot mess this up…
"So, um, L-Lily, how-I mean… what- No… WHATDIDYOUEATFORBREAKFAST?" I stuttered out quickly.
She giggled a bit, "What did I eat for breakfast?"
"Uh, yea… I mean, you m-must eat a g-good meal before, before the inner eye can work!" I said in my best "Professor Erante voice" I could muster.
She laughed a bit harder. "Well, I had… well, you'd probably think its gross, but I had an egg-and-ketchup toasted bagel sandwich dipped in porridge."
I swear, if our jaws could drop all the way to the floor, all of ours did. Lily blushed and went back to reading her book, but I just stared at her. She looked up and smiled at me before continuing to read.
I can't believe it! Lily just smiled at me. The sight of that smile was like 1,000 volts down my spine. Even more, we both like egg-and-ketchup toasted bagel sandwiches dipped in porridge.
"Well, if it makes you feel any better… I like that too. In fact, it's my favourite breakfast or snack." I said in a small voice; I didn't want to anger her.
She looked up and smiled wide again. Oh that smile, that pure, innocent, seductive smile that caressed her lips sent my heart racing. Wait, she's looking behind me… she wasn't smiling at me… she was smiling at Alexander Scappa. The stupid Ravenclaw pretty boy, and by the looks of it, her new crush.
Alexander Scappa… the Italian Ravenclaw pretty boy with a flawless smile and an endless knowledge capacity. I could see why she likes him so… dark hair and dark eyes. He's Captain of the Quidditch team and the Ravenclaw Prefect…
No, her eyes weren't talking about me. It's not me that she's smiling at, I know that much. I'm not the one who's given her a reason to smile so… tenderly before… but what then? What is the reason? Is it him?
In the years I've followed her every move, her every breath… but what I couldn't see, see something deep inside, where my eyes couldn't reach... she's changed. Is this how it's going to be from now on? Is she going to keep changing in a way I could not see? In ways I won't know because she's with someone else? Will that be someone who's changing her?
"Lily, will you go out with me?"
Great, must I be such an idiot… it's obvious she doesn't feel the same…
"Oh… I-I'm sorry P-James… b-but…" Lily tripped over her tongue and I looked shamefully at the floor.
"It's okay… I-I…" I ran out of the room, the teacher calling aimlessly for me to return for "my aura is pulsing."
The abandoned Northwest tower…
This is the worst… the worst thing that could have happened. That's it, it's over… everything. It's finished now. How could I do something like that in front of Lily, after I showed her such an ugly face…? But I know, what she saw was the real me...
I looked out the window and felt the icy autumn breeze chill my bones as I looked on, past the rolling green hills, the silvery lake, and the deep and vast Forbidden Forest. The stars shone brightly in the clear sky as I tried to clear my head of my muddled thoughts….
I can't stand anyone else taking her away from me… whether it is Scappa or even Diggory. How can she choose someone else instead of me?
I looked at my reflection on a forgotten mirror at the back of the dirty tower. My refection was all I needed to see why she picked Scappa, or anyone else. My hair, thick tufts of jet-black hair that stuck up at odd angles, and my eyes, my ugly muck brown eyes hidden behind my spectacles. My pale tall and lanky form had earned muscles, but it wasn't as good as the others. I felt my anger bubbling up inside.
I hate them… I hate them all... I can't stand them!
I punched the wall, my breathing now irregular, but my temper cooling a bit…
But, the one I can't stand the most is me… the hideous horrible me that thinks these terrible thoughts… All those other stupid, conceited, self-centred guys… I hate them because of me. When I look at them, I see my flaws, my hate for myself…
"You know, you didn't have to run. Everyone says awkward things at times, even me, and, I w-want you to know…" Lily stuttered…
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