Forget Not This
Title: Forget Not This
Rating: PG, mostly for language and minor violence.
Genre: Probably drama. And angst. And sap. Add a little humor, and it's your typical story.
Summary: Hope Summers thought she was an ordinary 16-year-old, being raised by her family. Until one tiny photograph changed everything. Sequel to "When the Time Has Passed".
Bigger Summary: Hope Summers never knew her real mother, who died when she was two. She has never met her father, whom her family convinced her didn't exist. When she finds a photograph of her dead mother, questions start to arise, leading Hope into the world of demons and darkness she never knew existed, and the hope to reunite her with the father she has never met.
Disclaimer: Joss owns. I don't.
Dedication: Normally, I don't do this. But the entire plot of this fic was inspired by someone I've known since I was about three. To Andie, who followed her own journey to finally find her father. May she rest in peace.
Author's Note: I decided at last to do a really sappy and sort of a humbling sequel to 'When the Time Has Passed'. One of the reviewers of the original story thought of the second generational thing. This is an actually novella-sized story, too, if you can actually believe it.
Timeline: I already screwed with the timeline, but what the hell. Dawn exists and she comes into being about six months after Hope was born. One year later, Buffy makes the fatal jump which kills her. Dawn stops them from bringing her back and Buffy's living will wanted Hope to grow up away from Sunnydale. Angel left town again when Buffy died. Instead of waiting for a long court battle, Dawn takes Hope with her to Boston. Fourteen years later, Hope meets her godparents for the first time (being Willow and Xander) and she finds a photograph that leads to more... complicated questions. So, yes, completely messed with the timeline. So Buffy was about, oh, twenty one when she died. And Angel hasn't had any contact with his daughter at his ex's request. In Angel's timeline, I'm going to keep Doyle around, because he's the vision guy. And Cordy, Wesley... and probably a few of the others, too (you can tell how much I know about Angel, can't you?). He runs W&H, though. I want him to run the damned law firm so he can find his daughter. Spike is basically a non-issue. I'll send him to Angel's.
Chapter Note: More like a prologue note... but this is the last conversation between the former lovers and their daughter. Includes conversations from the episode 'The Gift'.
- - - - -
Prologue
- - - - -
Forget not yet, forget not this,
How long ago hath been, and is,
The mind that never means amiss;
Forget not yet.
Forget not yet thine own approved,
The which so long hath thee so loved,
Whose steadfast faith yet never moved,
Forget not this.
"Forget Not This" - Thomas Wyatt
- - - - -
May 2002, Sunnydale
It was nearing sunset. Buffy slowly paced the room and sat down next to her Watcher, who stared at her for a moment.
"I imagine you hate me right now," he said quietly.
She sighed and didn't look at him for a moment.
"I love Dawn."
"I know," Buffy said, a flicker of a smile moving across her face.
"But I've sworn to protect this sorry world, and sometimes that means saying and doing... what other people can't. What they shouldn't have to."
Buffy looked at him and gave him a wary smile. "You try and hurt her, and you know I'll stop you."
"I know," he replied, resting back against the bench and staring at the room he'd created for her. He saw the look in her eyes, a look of deep sadness.
"This is how many apocalypses for us now?" she asked in a vague attempt to lighten the mood.
"Oh, uh," he said, quickly taking off his glasses and cleaning them, "six, at least." He sighed heavily as he replaced the glasses on the bridge of his nose. "Feels like a hundred."
"I've always stopped them. Always won."
"Yes."
"I sacrificed Angel to save the world," Buffy said, folding her arms and smiling wistfully down at her knees. "I loved him so much. I still do. Nothing's changed there. But I knew what was right back then. I don't have that any more. I don't understand. I don't know how to live in this world if these are the choices. If everything just gets stripped away. I don't see the point. I just wish that... I wish that my Mom was here."
She rose and walked away, bringing one hand over her mouth. "The spirit guide told me... that death is my gift. Guess that means a Slayer really is just a killer after all."
"I think you're wrong about that," Giles protested gently.
"It doesn't matter. I've fought hard enough to keep my daughter out of the hands of the devil. They already took her from me once. I'm not going to let them take my sister, too. If Dawn dies, I'm done with it. I'm quitting."
She shook her head and quickly rushed from the room as Giles looked on, a look of deepening concern crossing his face.
She stopped at one look at the small toddler girl sitting at her spot on the research table at the Magic Box. Tara, bless her soul, was prodding at her, cooing, "Baby! Hi, baby!"
And Hope was making small gurgling noises.
Buffy felt her breath catch in her throat. The air had suddenly become far too stifling for her liking. Glancing at her friends around the room, she turned and ran out of the Magic Box, trying to put as much distance between reality and her life as possible.
It didn't last very long. The one person she hadn't expected to return was suddenly standing there underneath a street lamp.
"You look sad," Angel said, falling into step beside her.
"It's been a hell of a week," Buffy said with a sad smile up at him. "How was yours?"
"More or less manageable," Angel said, shrugging. "How's Hope?"
"I'm just thanking whatever powers are out there that she doesn't have to deal with any of this right now," Buffy said in a tight voice. "She's not even two yet, Angel... and she has to grow up in this world?"
"Would you rather she not?" Angel asked her as they continued to walk along.
"Sometimes I wonder if it'd be better for her to be away from Slayers and keys and everything. Dawn's almost sixteen. I think she knows the drill by now."
"Did you finish the papers?"
"I turned them in last week," Buffy said with a sigh. "I can't believe I actually wrote my own living will." She sighed and looked down. "I guess that's the downfall of being a hero."
"What about Spike?" Angel asked casually.
"What about Spike?" Buffy asked him, smirking. "Look, he's devoted to Dawn. If he saves her life... I owe him more..."
"You don't love him?" Angel asked lightly.
"Eww, thanks for those nightmares," Buffy said, rolling her eyes. "No... I think we both know that for the past two years of my life, my heart has belonged to someone else."
For a moment, they stared at each other.
"That's me, right, for the record?" he asked in his cryptic tone.
"You're such a dope," she smirked, turning away and continuing to walk.
"As long as I'm your... do I have to go along with the 'dope'?"
"It's Anya-speak... you'll get used to it," Buffy said, finally stopping and gazing up at the sky. "It's been so long since I've done this. Whenever I look at the sky, I feel so small and insignificant. There's so much up there... but the stars aren't trembling before hell-gods who want to kill their sister star and destroy the world. But I know that maybe, just maybe, my Mom is up there, somewhere."
He came up from behind her and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, pulling her into him. She closed her eyes. "It's moments like these that make me glad I stopped looking at the sky," she said sadly. "I feel happy for what I have, even if there's something bad coming. But these aren't good choices."
"Death is your gift, after all," Angel said into her ear.
"If something happens to Dawn," she said, a shadow passing over her face, "you know I won't be the same, right?"
He touched her face and held her gaze as he kissed her gently. "Whatever happens, I'll love you. Even if you're all broody."
"Takes one to know one," she quipped, turning back in his arms. "How long are you going to be around?"
"How long do you need me?" he asked, tightening his grip.
"How about forever?" she asked, a smile lighting up her face. "How does forever sound to you?"
He dropped a kiss on top of her head before resting his cheek on her hair. "I think I can deal with forever."
They stood there another moment in silence before Buffy sighed. "I should get back... everyone's gonna be worried."
"Do you want me to come with you?" Angel asked, reaching for her hands.
She gave him a sweet smile. "I think Hope's been waiting to see her Daddy."
They returned fifteen minutes later, much to the surprise of the rest of the gang, and Spike, who stood up and narrowed his eyes when he noticed Angel's expression soften at the little brunette currently sucking on a bottle in Willow's lap.
"She's all yours, Mister," Willow said, handing Hope to Angel before turning back to her research.
"Wil, what do you got for me?" Buffy asked, crouching beside her best friend as Angel turned his back. It sort of made her smile when she heard weird noises emanating from him, mingled with the sound of their daughter's laughter.
Willow looked at her books uncertainly. "Some ideas. Well, notions. Or, theories based on wild speculation. Did I mention I'm not good under pressure?"
Buffy gently rested a hand on Willow's shoulder. "I need you, Wil. You're my big gun."
"I'm your - no, I-I was never a gun. Someone else should be the gun. I, I could be a, a cudgel. Or, or a pointy stick."
"You're the strongest person here. You know that, right?"
Willow glanced from Buffy, to Spike, who was still glowering, and the gaze slid to Angel, who was still making those ridiculous noises. "Uh... no," she frowned.
"Wil, you're the only person that's ever hurt Glory. At all. You're my best shot at getting her on the ropes, so don't get a jelly belly on me now."
"Well... I, I do sort of have this one idea. But, last few days, I've mostly been looking into ways to help Tara. I-I know that shouldn't be my priority..."
Buffy smiled at her best friend and put her hand on her knee. "Of course it should."
Willow smiled gratefully at her. There was just a small hint of sadness in her eyes. "Well, I've been charting their essences. Mapping out. I think... if I can get close enough, I may be able to reverse what Glory did. Like, take back what she took from Tara. It might weaken Glory, or... make her less coherent. Or it might make all our heads explode." Buffy glanced up as Giles called out to her. "I'll... try to work it," she concluded quickly.
Buffy passed by Angel, who was cradling the toddler. Forcing her mind back to the issue at hand, she turned and saw Giles standing with Xander and Anya, the dagon sphere in his hand.
Giles turned and talked to her in a low, anxious voice. Buffy straightened after a moment, her face must brighter. "No. No, no, that's good. That could be pivotal. Thank you guys." She smiled at her best friend and his girlfriend.
"Well, um, you're gonna need some --" Giles started.
"Way ahead of you. We have time?"
"If you hurry."
"Good," Buffy said, glancing at Spike, who just glowered at her, and turning to face Angel, who had come up behind her. "Let's go."
Angel and Spike weren't exactly on speaking terms the entire walk to the Summers' house. Spike was only too happy when Angel stopped in front of the bus depot, his eyes scanning the horizon.
"It's time," Angel said, gesturing to the toddler in his arms.
"Do you have what you need?" Buffy asked him.
"I've got it," he said, patting his coat pockets. "It won't be long."
"Get here away from here..." Buffy said, kissing his quickly and turning to Hope, who gazed at her mother sleepily. "Mommy loves you, baby... Mommy'll see you again." She kissed one of Hope's pale cheeks and looked up at Angel. "Mommy loves Daddy, too."
Spike just rolled his eyes and stalked onward, giving the couple their one last private moment before Angel disappeared.
"We could have used him, you know," Spike drawled as they entered the Summers' house.
"No, we couldn't," Buffy said sharply, pointing to the trunk in the living room. "The weapons are in the chest by the TV, I'll grab the stuff upstairs."
"Didn't want to risk your sweet lover's life, did you, pet?" Spike taunted her as he strolled into the living room.
"That's right," Buffy said, lifting her chin defiantly. "That, and he happens to be in possession of the one thing I value the most in this world."
"Besides Dawn?" Spike asked, quirking one eyebrow.
"Just get the weapons."
The tension was extremely thick in the Magic shop. As the group geared up and had Tara lead them into battle, they had no idea what would await them.
Besides a large tower constructed by people from an insane asylum.
After fighting off Glory and leaving her bloodied and broken as Ben, Buffy glanced up and saw her sister on top of the tower. There was someone up there with her.
She reached the top just in time to shove off the offending man who'd been cutting her precious sister. Dawn was sobbing as Buffy undid her ties.
"Here," she said, gently trying to pull Dawn away.
"Buffy, it hurts!" Dawn sobbed, clutching her bloody stomach.
"I got it," Buffy said, pulling Dawn towards the stairs. "Come on... you're going to be okay."
A small bit of light suddenly exploded from beneath their feet, growing wider and ever brighter. Dawn paused and then turned back to walk towards it.
Buffy grabbed her sister and nudged her towards the stairs. "Go!"
"Buffy," Dawn said, staring at the light shimmering below. "It's started."
Streaks of light shot out, burning buildings and releasing creatures. She gasped as a large dragon circled around them.
"I'm sorry," Dawn said, a tear rolling down her cheek.
"It doesn't matter," Buffy said, wiping the tear away.
Dawn made to walk back towards the platform, but Buffy held her back. "What are you doing?"
"I have to jump! The energy!"
"It'll kill you," Buffy said, feeling as though the situation were starting to get desperately out of control.
"I know. Buffy, I know about the ritual. I have to stop it."
"No," Buffy whispered, as tears welled in her own eyes. Dawn was showing an enormous amount of maturity in this moment... it was beyond touching.
"I have to. Look at what's happening. Buffy, you have to let me go. Blood starts it, and until the blood stops flowing, it'll never stop. You know you have to let me. It has to have the blood."
Buffy stared hard into her sister's face for a moment, her mind flashing back onto previous conversations.
"Cause it's always got to be blood." That was Spike.
"It's Summers blood. It's just like mine." It was Buffy's own voice, from sometime in the past.
"Death... is your gift." It was the voice of the First Slayer.
Buffy felt as though everything were falling into place. She turned back to Dawn, whose eyes suddenly widened as she cried out, "No!"
"Dawnie, I have to," Buffy said softly.
"Buffy, no!"
"Listen to me. Please, there's not a lot of time, listen...
"Dawnie, I love you. I will always love you. But this is the work that I have to do. Tell Giles... tell Giles I figured it out. And, and I'm okay. And give my love to my friends. You have to take care of them now. You have to take care of each other. You have to be strong."
Buffy reached up and touched her sister's face. "Dawn, the hardest thing in this world is to live in it. Be brave. Live... for me."
Buffy leaned over and kissed her sister's cheek. Dawn continued to cry as Buffy slowly turned and ran to the end of the platform, before diving into it. In that moment, Dawn started screaming. She knew that Buffy's friends down below were watching.
Slowly, reluctantly, she started walking down the creaking metallic steps, feeling as though everything were falling apart.
When she got to the bottom, on top of the rubble was her sister's body.
Just before she collapsed, she screamed once in agony, in defeat... for Glory had taken everything from her, including her sister. She was never going to let it happen again to anyone. Including her sister's daughter.
One Month Later
It was after midnight when Angel arrived in Sunnydale, his daughter in his arms. He knew where he was going. He found the place right away.
Willow, Xander and Dawn were all there, looking tired and drawn. Hope's head was resting on Angel's shoulder and she was sucking her thumb.
Willow had been the one to go down to Los Angeles the following morning and tell Angel what had happened. To her surprise, he had expected something like this. Buffy had always been one to believe in prophecies. She had died because of the first one. And she gave her life for her sister's.
Dawn was sixteen now. She looked older and more worn down since he'd last seen her. And that had been nearly three months ago.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Angel asked her.
"I'm sure," Dawn said with a tight smile. "Buffy had everything figured out in case something happened to her... and that meant that in the case she... you know... Hope would be raised as far away from this world as possible." She looked up at Angel with her large blue eyes. "Please don't hate her for this decision."
"I don't," Angel said softly. "I just wish I had a part in it. I feel like I'll never see my daughter again."
He looked away for a moment before turning back to them. "Where are you going?"
"I'm going to a private boarding school in Boston," Dawn said quietly. "And Hopie's coming with me. Until we can figure things out, I mean. Someday we should figure out how this is going to work."
"Just let me know when you come to a decision, okay, Dawn?" Angel asked her. He turned away for a moment before looking back. "I'm sorry about your losses."
Tears filled Willow's eyes. "She meant the world to you."
"She did," Angel said, and he turned and walked away, out of their lives.
Hope was starting to fuss now. Dawn handed her over to Xander so she could search for a snack in the bag lying at her feet.
"Maybe we should have waited," Willow said quietly.
"That's probably what Buffy would have chosen had she not been so hard pressed for time," Xander replied, bouncing the screaming baby on his hip.
"I'll take her," Dawn said, finally lifting some graham crackers from her bag. "We should probably get back. It's not the safest place to be at midnight."
The three of them walked back towards town.
"So, in two months you're headin' to Boston, Dawn?" Xander asked.
"We just got the call tonight," Willow replied. "I spoke with the Headmaster myself as Dawn's agent. Giles accepted a position there as Head Librarian. He'll be taking over Dawn's guardianship until we can contact Hank and see what he wants to do. When Dawn is eighteen, she'll probably take over as Hope's legal guardian."
"As long as they don't think she's mine," Dawn said, laughing at the thought. Well, she had to admit that Hope did sort of look like her. She had short brown hair like her father, but where the green eyes had come from, Dawn didn't know.
"So, you gonna be ready to get out of this town, Dawnie?" Willow asked quietly.
"Yeah," Dawn said, smiling at the horizon. "I think I am ready."
- - - - -
Fourteen Years Later, November
The alarm clock rang at its usual time of seven. Hope groaned and rolled over in her warm, comfortable bed. Her pale hand shot out from the sheets and smacked the button. Letting out a loud yawn, the figure grumbled, seized a pillow, and jammed it over her head, moaning.
"Hope! Hope, come on, and get up! You can't be late for History again!"
Hope groaned as she felt her roommate poking and prodding at her. "Go away," she murmured into her mattress.
"We could always let Davey in here..." a teasing voice said from outside her comforting cocoon.
"You will not," Hope snapped, pushing her mountain of stuffed animals and pillows aside and rising from the heap, growling. Her roommate and her best friend were standing in the doorway, laughing.
"You should see yourself, Hope," her best friend laughed.
Hope reached up and felt her head before letting out a soft, "Meh."
"Come on, let's get you cleaned up," said her roommate.
Half an hour later, Hope was standing in front of the bathroom mirror, brushing out her long hair. It was her best feature in her own words, although her best friend, a girl by the name of Alex, told her otherwise. Long, thick and dark brown, it reached halfway down her back and settled into cool waves by afternoon.
Hope Summers was a junior at the same posh boarding school her mother had attended years earlier. Her Mother told her it was probably the best experience of her life. From what Hope had heard, her mother had been the perfect, model student. Hope resigned herself to being anything but.
She classified herself as a rebel. She and Alex both were, as said by their matching tattoos they'd gotten on their sixteenth birthday. And while Alex was more adventurous with herself than Hope was, mainly because her mother lived just across the small campus, she still tried to get away with things.
Smoothing her skirt, she walked out of the bathroom, catching up with Alex and her roommate Mina as they walked down to breakfast.
"So, Hope, where are you going next week?"
"Mom says she wants to go home for Thanksgiving."
It was known by a lot of people that Hope's mom was a teacher at the school. Well, not so much as a teacher as a librarian, and that made Hope's Mom cool in everyone's eyes.
"Where's home?" Mina asked as they started walking downstairs.
"Well, Mom says that Grandpa's coming back from England, and we're all going back to Mom's home in California."
"Really? California? Do you know how many girls would give their Gucci away just to go there? All those shoes!"
Hope grinned and winked at them. "I know."
"When do you leave?"
"We leave Tuesday night. I'm missing classes on Wednesday. Oh, well... it's not like I need to learn math or English or French or anything anyway, right?"
"You are so lucky to have a Mother to talk to," Mina said enviously. "My parents just packed me up in Taiwan and said, okay, see you in nine months!"
"Oh, come on! You talk to my Mom all the time," Hope said as they walked into the cafeteria, full even at this early hour by loud, boisterous students. "Remember last week about you and Davey?"
"Or two days ago about you and that failed French test?" Alex piped in.
"Thank you," Hope said, beaming at Alex. "See what I mean? I think everyone deserves to have a Mother like mine. She's so cool... she doesn't try to be overbearing at all. She's just... you know... she's Dawn. She can do no wrong. She's totally my hero."
The three girls picked up their food and moved to sit at a table occupied by their other friends, who leaned over and started to chat with Hope immediately.
"Hey, Hope... we saw your Mom last night," one of the boys snickered.
"So?" Hope asked, blowing on her oatmeal to cool it down. "I see her everyday. She works here, you dumbass."
"She was with a certain science teacher," the boy continued teasing.
"What?" Hope shrieked. It was known by now, at least by Hope, that her Mother hadn't dated anyone after Hope's father had upped and left her. No one permanent, anyway. Dawn had only been working at the school for two years now, ever since Hope started.
"Oh, come on, Hope! Open your eyes! She and Professor Laven are perfect for each other."
Hope glared at Mina for a moment before glancing down the table. "You know, I'm sure it's nothing... my mom flirts a little. She never dates... but that's why she's my hero. After all, my Dad turned out to be the jackass of the century... I can't say I blame her."
Across campus, in the faculty quarters, Dawn Summers was slowly looping a belt through her long khaki skirt. She smoothed the long skirt and carefully pulled on a blazer over her blouse and skirt.
It was the same practiced movement she had been doing for the past two years. The past fourteen, really.
It had all been a game at the beginning. Until a four-year-old Hope called Dawn, at her own high school graduation, Mother. It had started there.
Little did Dawn realize it was almost comforting. It made keeping the truth about Hope so much easier. The fact that the woman she called Mother was really her Aunt. And her Mother had been dead for fourteen years.
And the Father she never knew was still alive, not dead or up and gone like Dawn had told her.
Fourteen years later, and she still hadn't figured it out.
That was why she had decided to go back to California for Thanksgiving. It had been Buffy's favorite holiday. Dawn hadn't spoken of her sister at all since arriving on the east coast. It made things far too easy for her. She was a teenage mother, the victim of a senseless rape, or something far too stupid to even think about, and yet...
Hope's parents were heroes. They saved the world. All Dawn did was exist because a bunch of monks shaped energy into human form.
Hope was looking more and more like her father each day. She had his dark hair and Angel must have had someone on his side of the family with green eyes, because those jade eyes had broken a lot of hearts. But she had her mother's quirky sense of humor and was a complete smartass, much like Buffy had been.
Dawn smiled as she neatly brushed her shoulder-length hair. In just a few days time, Hope was going to return to California and meet her godparents. Willow and Xander had both been contacting Dawn for the past decade, trying to get her to come back. Dawn had found a new life in Boston, though. After high school, she'd gone onto college to get a degree in teaching. After receiving her Master's credentials, Dawn had decided to fall into a Giles-like job.
It had been he who had gotten her that job in the first place.
And she could never have been more grateful.
She just wished Giles could explain to Hope that her entire life had been a lie. She wasn't some spoiled, rich, pampered kid. She was the product of one of the most tragic romances in the history of romance.
The time had finally come to set Dawn free of the guilt. Of the remorse. And she could finally let her sister go, fourteen years after her death.
It was time.
- - - - -