Chapter 40: Blood-Flavoured Lollipops

Disclaimer: After Xmas, I own lots of shiny new things, including a very funky new CD player. Santa did not, however, bring me the rights to Harry Potter. J.K.Rowling still owns them. Ah, well…

Thanks for 1718 reviews goes to: Rebecca15, willowfairy, Go10, abi-j, Daisy Miller, LittleGreenPerson, Raiast, Plaidly Lush, Medea Callous, PsYcHoJo, Clytemnestre, draconas, samhaincat, Silver Moonset, Flexi Lexi, Zyzychyn, Madam Midnight, threepastmidnight09, Janie Granger, Me, SycoCallie, Chisa Yume, Hidden Relevance, FalconWing, Kiyoko, Sai Phreeoow, Karma Chameleon, PhAnToM-ChiK, I-luv-Harry-Potter-Romance, RadWitch1, madame malfoy, girliedragon, Noubliz, Catatonic Caudillo, Keindra, savvyfairy, Pheonix, Evil Scientist, Nikki, Cherry Lollipop (x10), ablakevh, NotreDamegirlie, Wotton, Dmitri, Tayz, PinkTribeChick, Draco, Lady Mariel, yourGUN-myhead, morning-flower (x5), Natalie Garner, Stoneage Woman, langocska, Best Deception, RalientKroxmysox721, Genevieve Jones, amerie, Slytheravengryffinpuff, heavengurl899, MistressMaliceMalfoy, citcat299, Yami Shizu-Kira, Bernard and Spinach (x2), Food-luva, BouncingDelta88 (x2), ToOtHpIcK, Xairea, JoeBob1379, WWJD4mE2LiVe (x2), Storm079 (x3), Alyssium, Jpearl19 (x2), mswyrr(x2), Qmaria, Weruca, Samila, SIRIUSlyConfused, bonessassan, Je Cours, finally-defeated,

A/N: I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas, Solstice, Hanukkah, or other wintertime festival of their choosing in the past days. Or, of course, that anyone who celebrated nothing had a generally great past few days as well! (Yeah, you've got to be politically correct…)

I found all the suggestions for Draco's theme song utterly fascinating, but as of yet I haven't managed to choose one. I have got a whole folder of lyrics in my favourites folder though, which I am perusing with great interest. I'm not a very musical person – I personally think that all my musical ability got shoved into writing ability, leaving me good at writing but completely unable to remain in the right key, let alone the right notes, when I sing – so all your suggestions were of great help. It's also interesting seeing the different songs that people connect with Fallen!Draco! I may end up with a Draco soundtrack, rather than just a theme song.

Onto the bad news: as some of you will have seen in Macbeth's last update, I'm having to change the schedule of updates, because I'm sure you've all noticed that I'm having a few problems keeping to schedule… The good news is that I'm letting you lot choose the schedule. The options are:

1. Macbeth once every two weeks: Fallen every week.

2. Fallen once every two weeks: Macbeth every week

3. Fallen every two weeks, Macbeth every two weeks (in other words, they alternate: one week Macbeth, the other Fallen)

If you're divided between the options, do a favour to your author and go for option three? Alternating is currently two votes ahead of option one, and number two's… well, very far behind. Alternating updates is my current favourite, because it does make things a lot easier for both me and my betae, and gives me more opportunity to work on homework, other projects, and also on actually relaxing, which is a precious rare commodity these days… Mmm. Don't vote if you already voted in Macbeth, but do if you haven't. I'll be checking, and waving my 'Vote for Alternating!' flag. It will, of course, be revised after Macbeth.

With that said, onto the fic. Enjoy!

A mother is not a person to lean on but a person to make leaning unnecessary.

Dorothy C. Fisher

Dear Hermione,

Don't be worried about sounding rude! I must confess I'd wanted to talk to you ever since Draco mentioned you in one of his letters, and while your letter was a surprise it was by no means an unpleasant one.

The first and most important thing I have to say is thank you. The change from Fallen to human is… well, a very difficult one, to say the least, and I don't think we – as humans who have never been without emotion – will ever fully understand what it's like to gain it after lacking it all your life. I own some diaries and writings by half-Fallens who changed to human, and a lot of them seem… very depressed, to say the least. Many became suicidal.

Draco is incredibly lucky to have someone like you to help him and befriend him, and I can only thank you profusely and from the bottom of my heart for doing so. If ever you need something that I can help you with, no matter how difficult or time-consuming, do not hesitate to ask. It would be the least I can do for the gift you've given me – my son's happiness.

But enough of that – you didn't write to ask for a mother's gratitude! As to the topic of half-Fallens; while the collection of writings here is very extensive, there are relatively few stories of the half-Fallens who changed to humans. Most such writings were burnt or obliterated by later generations of half-Fallens – obviously, they don't want such information remaining around, lest we get hold of it and work out what method it is which turns them to humans. There are many books about half-Fallen genealogies, physiology, psychology… but very little about those who turn human.

However, from the diaries and books there are… Half-Fallens can turn human at any age, though for what reason we don't know. The most recent one to change, whose diary is now in my possession – she died many years ago, before even the Dark Lord's first rise to power – changed when visiting the theatre, for example. Another one changed while eating breakfast with his wife, and another during a game of chess. We don't know why the change happens, but diaries an other documents do tell us a bit about it – it's always very sudden. There is no slow fade-in to the world of emotion; its gain is instantaneous. The understanding of them, of course, is the thing that takes time.

What happens after that varies greatly between people. Some – an alarming number – are completely unable to cope with emotion. Not entirely surprising, I must admit when you consider that many humans who've had them all their lives cannot cope either. Many of the half-Fallens become depressed, many killing themselves. I was terrified after sending Draco to the Order – for his own safety: Lucius would stop at nothing in his attempts to turn Draco back, and would kill him if such proved impossible. I didn't know how he was coping, or even if he was coping. Every morning I woke up terrified that he might have killed himself in the night. I know I've already said this, but thank you – if you hadn't found out, if you hadn't tried to help him, that could have happened by now.

One area of human half-Fallens that is well documented is the possibility of their changing back. Draco may have told you this, but: a half-Fallen is, in essence, two beings – a Fallen and a human – together in one body. The half-Fallen can switch between either physical form at a moment's thought, but the minds are completely separate. Only one mind can be dominant, and that's usually the Fallen mind. The Fallen mind is the stronger of the two. However, as has happened with Draco, the two minds can flip – quite suddenly, in response to some unknown trigger.

This can be reversed, as the Fallen mind can fight back, struggle for dominance and once more win. I don't want to alarm you – stay calm! The switch back is usually much more prolonged then the initial switch, not because one mind gradually fades into the other, but because the human mind can sense the Fallen half struggling; then some brief, seconds-only switches may occur with the human mind regaining control quickly, which get longer and longer until the switch back is permanent.

Again, don't worry. Draco hasn't shown any signs of this yet, and if he does, you'll have plenty of time to combat it when it arises. With some changed half-Fallens it never happens, and others manage to fight with the Fallen mind and win. It's like the possibility of breaking a leg, or becoming sick – it can and possibly will happen someday, but it may never do, and if it does, that's the time to fight it. Worrying about something that may never happen will do no good; put it at the back of your mind, in case it ever does begin, but forget it for the present.

I really don't know what else to tell you about. Is there any specific thing you need to know? Ask me, and I'll send you the information as quickly as I can.

In the meantime, send me whatever news of my son that you can. He sends me letters, of course, but he can't tell me everything, and I'm always worried that there's something he's leaving out because he doesn't want to worry me. I haven't known him very much as a human – for about a day, straight after he'd changed and before I had to send him away for his own safety. Tell me whatever you can, whatever you think he'd leave out. What he does, what he likes and dislikes, what you think of him – I shall be eternally thankful for anything and everything you can tell me, and the help and friendship you can give him.

Yours with gratitude,

Narcissa.

Hermione put the letter down, a smile lingering around her lips. She hadn't really known, when she'd written to Narcissa, what to expect in reply. She'd seen her once, at the Quidditch World Cup match, and Draco had told her a bit about his mother, but that wasn't really enough to go on.

Admittedly a single letter didn't tell her everything, but her first impression was a good one, and she felt inexplicably reassured by the fact that Draco had such a caring mother. Frowning – and perhaps having gotten into the habit of analysing feelings, for Draco's sake – she tried to figure out why, and the best answer she could come up with was that she wasn't alone in helping and worrying about Draco. Narcissa felt like an ally, and somebody who was, to put it simply, a nice person, too.

One thing what was worrying Hermione a little was the warning that Narcissa had put in. He could change back. As the letter had said, there hadn't been any sign of that, and while the thought of it certainly scared her, she forced herself to follow Narcissa's advice and push it to the back of her mind. It might never happen, and if it did, it had a whole lifetime in which to happen. There was probably more likelihood of Draco being attacked by Dementors than there was of him switching back at this moment.

Hermione slipped the letter into her bedside drawer – she didn't want to leave it out; Lavender and Parvati would certainly ask difficult questions if they found it – and turned back to the owl that waited patiently in the window.

'Could you go to the Owlery and wait?' she asked. 'It's dinner time now, but afterwards I'll write back.' The owl gave a soft hoot, and rubbed its head affectionately against her hand. 'Thanks… Raphael,' she said, a memory of Draco once mentioning the owl's name coming to her suddenly and from nowhere. The owl hooted again, seeming pleased, and turned to fly away, headed for the Owlery. Hermione glanced once more at the drawer, already planning what she'd write after the evening meal, and hurried down to dinner.

Draco tried to spend as little time as possible in the Slytherin common room these days. Before his change, of course, he spent as much time there as possible; the common room was the hub of the Slytherin culture, where things began and ended and changed, never the same from minute to minute. There were always new alliances being made, or old ones broken; secrets betrayed or kept, individuals moving up the 'social ladder' or being cast down it. As a half-Fallen who needed to stay on top of things, to play one group against another for his own benefit, it was vital to be there at all times possible.

But now he couldn't have played the game even if he'd wanted to, and in the common room he felt like an outsider. The others simply ignored him, which meant that he could sit where he wanted and do pretty much what he liked; but the feeling of being alone in a crowd of people was disconcerting. So he avoided the common room for the most part; he passed through it on the way to and from his dormitory, and that was all.

He was just heading for the staircase to fetch his schoolbag when he heard someone call his name.

'Draco!'

He turned round to see Ellen dodging quickly around a tangled mess of chairs and tables towards him. The people she passed fell quiet, regarding her with anything from stony stares to outright hatred, but none of them tried to do anything to her, giving Draco quick glances before turning back to their conversations.

'How was Hogsmeade?' Ellen asked when she reached him, a polite smile on her face, which became rather more amused as she asked, 'Did you buy anything nice?'

Draco knew exactly what she was referring to, but decided to play innocent. 'Oh, a few things…' he said airily, shrugging. 'Nothing important…'

She gave him a disapproving look, tilting her head aside, and gave up her pretence. 'Any chocolate?'

'It's in my room,' he replied, smiling. 'I looked for you after I got back, but you weren't in the common room… I'll go get it now.'

Ellen actually beamed, and waited at the bottom of the boys' staircase while he went to fetch his schoolbag – he was planning on going to the library to do homework – and the sweets; the Honeyduke's bag was completely stuffed full, and her eyes lit up at the sight of it like – quite fittingly – those of a child in a candy store.

'I tried to buy some of all the commonest varieties. Oh, and a few of the more unusual ones, too,' he said as Ellen pulled out a Chocolate Frog.

She nodded, happily unpeeling the wrapper. 'I've had some sweets before, but not many. And Slytherins, I believe, should always attempt to learn as many facts as possible about the situation at hand. The situation at hand being chocolate,' she finished with a grin, biting into the feebly-wriggling Frog. 'Somehow chocolate tastes better when it's struggling.'

'Oddly enough, I've never noticed that myself,' Draco remarked. 'Where were you before dinner? I looked for you…'

'Detention,' Ellen said, making a face and taking another bite of her chocolate, chewing and swallowing before she continued. 'With Professor Delaney. Do you want to help me with these sweets?' she asked suddenly, looking up at him hopefully. 'I can't eat them all myself, you know.'

'Well, not all at once…' Draco said, frowning. He had been planning on working, but the essay wasn't due in for another week, and Ellen had a pleading expression on her face which did particularly bizarre things to the emotions, and well… he did quite like Honeyduke's chocolate. 'Okay, okay. I'll share your chocolate with you.'

Ellen grinned, handed him a Chocolate Frog and headed back through the crowd, weaving her way amongst the chairs. Draco spared a moment to remember exactly how much he disliked the common room before following her to the very darkest corner. At least, he reasoned, he wouldn't be alone here. Or in a crowd, for that matter: no one came to this corner but for Ellen and the other neutrals, the ones with no place in Slytherin.

Ellen dropped the sweets onto a rickety old table and curled up in one corner of a particularly gloomy sofa as though she'd lived there all her life, digging through the bag with enthusiasm. 'Oooh, Every Flavour Beans. I love these,' she remarked, pulling an oddly yellow one out of the bag and nibbling on the end, making a face.

'What is it?' Draco asked, taking one for himself and frowning. 'I think this one's parchment. Could be worse, I suppose…'

'Mine was pineapple,' Ellen said, reaching for more chocolate to get the taste out of her mouth, and in reply to Draco's puzzled look, explained, 'I just really hate pineapple. It's disgusting.'

Draco shrugged and took another bean, which thankfully turned out to be fudge-flavoured. 'Why did you get detention, anyway?' he asked.

'One of the boys said something horrible about Muggles. So I hexed him,' she explained, grinning. 'It took Madame Pomfrey ages to get the bluebells out of his nose…'

It took Draco a moment to place the spell. 'Scilla Nonscripta?' he asked. 'Where did you learn that? It's not exactly a common spell…'

'Which is precisely why I learnt it. If I'm going to be attacked by my own housemates, I need to have some ability to defend myself, don't I? And if I use the common hexes that everyone knows the counter spell to, they'll lift the hex and curse me back like that. But if I use uncommon ones…'

'They're less likely to know the counter spell,' Draco finished. 'Clever…'

She grinned, nibbling on a Liquorice Wand. 'Thanks. The DA's helpful too; we've only done the commonest ones so far, of course, but some of them can be really useful. I'm getting very good at Expelliarmus and Stupefy, and if you get in quickly enough with those…'

'Wait a minute,' Draco interrupted, 'the DA? As in Potter's Defence club?'

Ellen nodded. 'When you're surrounded by enemies, anyone who's willing to offer help is a friend,' she said firmly. 'And like I said, it's useful.'

'I didn't know they even let Slytherins join,' Draco said thoughtfully, then shrugged. 'Do you think anyone's going to attack you again?'

'I don't know. Most of the Slytherins are pretty nasty to me, but… in the glaring, ignoring and scowling at me way, rather than doing anything violent. Oh, and insulting me too, though not as often as they could.' She frowned thoughtfully as she chewed on her liquorice, and eventually said, 'I don't like Delaney.'

'What about him specifically? He doesn't like Muggleborns…'

'I know, though it doesn't affect his teaching too much. He does try to be fair; you just see it in the way he acts sometimes. And well, with the amount of prejudice I get I'm fairly happy just to have someone who ignores it, really. No, it's not that so much. I just have…' She paused, searching for the right words. 'A bad feeling about him.'

Something dark and faintly ominous twisted at the bottom of Draco's stomach. 'A bad feeling?' he prompted.

'I can't put my finger on it,' she said thoughtfully, 'but there's something in the way he acts… Did you know he watches you at mealtimes?' she asked suddenly, looking straight at him, a slight frown on her face. Draco felt as though she'd hit him with a block of ice.

'What? He watches me?'

She nodded. 'Not all the time, but quite a lot of it. If I glance up at the teachers, well… about half the time he's looking in your direction. Sometimes he just stares, forgets to eat his meal…' Ellen shook her head. 'It's very odd. 'And like I say, I have a bad feeling about him.'

Draco leaned back into his chair, considering this. Delaney had to be the spy; he felt sure of it. Why else would he keep watching? And asking Snape about him, and…

'What's this?' Ellen cut into his thoughts, holding up what was unmistakeably a Blood-Flavoured Lollipop.

'Er… I think that got in there by accident…' Draco explained. 'It's blood-flavoured.'

'Blood-flavoured?' Ellen echoed, incredulous, staring at the lollipop in amazement. 'Who'd want one of those?'

'Vampires, presumably,' Draco replied. 'I wouldn't try it if I were you…'

But Ellen was already taking the packaging off. 'I did say I wanted to try all kinds of wizarding sweets,' she remarked with a half-smile, before popping the lollipop in her mouth and giving it an experimental suck.

'Well?' Draco asked, amused.

'This is going to sound weird,' Ellen replied, slowly, 'but it's actually really nice.'

Draco gave her a flat stare. 'A girl who can't stand pineapple but likes the taste of blood,' he remarked. 'I think I'll stick to the Chocolate Frogs.'

'I'm bored.' Ron protested, leaning backwards over the arm of the sofa. 'Stop talking about Potions, you two. There's a reason I didn't take that class this year, you know.'

'Well I didn't have a choice, and I have my OWLs coming up,' Ginny pointed out, frowning at her textbook. 'And I don't understand anything about Sleeping Potions…'

'Don't exaggerate,' Hermione muttered, frowning at Ginny's latest essay. 'You know more than you think… you did get this bit about haematite wrong, though everything else's okay.'

'Really?' Ginny asked, raising her head in amazement. 'I made half of it up. Hang on, which bit's wrong… okay,' she said, frowning at the parchment. 'Where's my textbook…'

'It was on the table last time I saw it,' Harry remarked. The table was now mysterious empty. 'Did it fall off? Hang on… Here it is,' he said, retrieving the book from the floor and handing it to Ginny.

She started flipping through the pages. 'Haematite, haematite… Thanks, Harry.'

Ron was still looking impatient. 'Hermione?' he asked. 'Fancy a game of chess? I'd ask Harry, but…'

'But I've already been beaten three times today,' Harry interrupted, grinning.

'I don't win all the time, you won one last week,' Ron pointed out. He turned back to Hermione. 'So shall we have a game?'

'Er…' Hermione said, glancing at her watch. She bit the corner of her lip. 'I don't really have the time…'

'Don't have the time?' Ron asked, mystified. 'It's only eight o'clock!'

'Well, yes…' Hermione drew herself up straight and looked straight at Ron with an almost defiant glint in her eye. 'I'd arranged to meet Draco in a few minutes, actually.'

Ginny coughed loudly, breaking the moment of awful silence. Ron turned back to the board, setting the pieces up with far more precision than was necessary. '…Oh. Oh, well, that's alright then,' he said, slightly stiffly. 'Ginny? Do you want a game? When you're finished, of course?'

'I'd love one,' Ginny replied, and after a moment in which it became apparent that no one was going to speak, started chattering – to fill up the silence if nothing else. 'Snape's such a git, sometimes. You know he set us this whole essay to do in two nights? And it's four feet long; all the other teachers give us at least a week for a four-foot essay. Well, apart from Professor McGonagall, she sometimes sets them to be done over a weekend, but still! It's ridiculous, doing a four-foot essay on two weeknights. Don't you think so, Harry?'

'What?' he asked, startled. His attention had been on Hermione. She looked uncomfortable; Ron looked faintly annoyed, though you could tell he was trying to hide it, and Harry himself was frowning. 'Oh, yes. He used to do the same to us, and he gets worse as you get nearer OWLs…'

Hermione glanced at the portrait hole, bit her lip, and got to her feet. 'I'll be… I should be back in an hour or so,' she said quietly, and headed off quickly. Harry and Ginny shared a glance, then looked away again, as the portrait closed softly in the difference. The atmosphere had not lightened at all.

Ron, still sitting at the chessboard, picked up the white queen in his hand, examining it, squeezing it tight in his fist. He put her down in the middle of the board, got to his feet, and flatly announced, 'I'm going to bed.'

'Ron, wait,' Harry called out, but Ron was already halfway across the common room, arms crossed across his chest as he walked. Frowning, Harry got to his feet and was about to follow his friend, but Ginny caught his hand.

'Don't,' she said simply. 'You know it's better to leave him be for a while.'

'You're right,' he replied, sighing and sinking into the seat next to her, pulling his feet up onto the sofa and tucking his knees under his chin as he thought. 'It's just… this whole Malfoy thing. It makes everything so…'

'Complicated?' Ginny offered, and he nodded.

'I just don't know what's going on,' he continued. 'I mean, why are they friends, how did it happen, what are his… his intentions, I guess… what does Hermione know that we don't?'

'I think she knows why he came to the Order,' Ginny said, thoughtfully. 'She said something had made him change, and she knew what it was, but she wouldn't tell me what. Which I suppose is fair; if she knew something like that about me I wouldn't want her telling Malfoy, so…'

'The only difference being that we know you're not a Death Eater out to murder her,' Harry pointed out, frowning.

Ginny raised an eyebrow. 'I almost did kill her, in first year,' she pointed out. 'The Basilisk? Tom Riddle's diary? At least Malfoy's never got her Petrified in the Hospital Wing…'

'That wasn't your fault, he was controlling…'

'Yes, Harry, I know. I'm just… I've been thinking about this a lot, and… well I think he's changed, to put it simply.' Ginny shifted slightly in her seat. 'I believe Hermione.'

'You're sure?' he asked, and she nodded.

'I'm sure. Come on, I'd better get this essay corrected,' she sighed, picking up the textbook again. 'Do you know anything about haematite? I really can't figure out what it's on about…'

A/N: Scilla Nonscripta is actually a species of bluebell; I spotted it recently and instantly itched to use it, somewhere, somehow. It's make quite a good character name, wouldn't it?

Being quite exhausted from Xmas, I've can't think of any interesting wuestions to entertain you with, so I shall resort to asking: what questions should I ask in future chapters?

Don't forget to vote on the schedule! Review!