Notes: The problem with working on several fics at once is that eventually, you see almost nothing wrong with turning out something like this.

Summary: Two of Ron's greatest foes come together to create a story so horrible, I shudder when I realize that I'm responsible for it.

See No Evil

A Kim Possible Ficlet by

Nate Grey (XMAN0123-at-aol-dot-com)

"This just proves that the bad guys have planning meetings, Rufus," Ron muttered to his naked mole rat. "How else could two of them strike at the exact same time?"

The sitch did seem a bit more than coincidental. Dr. Drakken and Shego had decided to rob yet another bank for funds, and only minutes before Monkey Fist was spotted at Camp Wanaaweep. Kim had of course gone to handle the former, leaving Ron to deal with his arch nemesis in a place that held such awful memories for him. Kim had pointed out, though, that Ron was largely responsible for the day being saved whenever they set foot near the accursed camp, and that he might as well conquer his monkey and Wanaaweep phobias at the same time.

Ron had been forced to agree, especially since he hadn't gotten a decent dose of comet power that would make battling Shego easier.

He hadn't yet considered that facing two of his greatest fears together might actually just make him twice as afraid. But as Rufus picked up the unmistakable scent of monkey ninjas near Gill's Grotto, Ron started to wonder if maybe this had been a bad idea. Monkey Fist and Gill were handfuls separately. With monkey ninjas to deal with while trying to dodge Gill's toxic saliva, Ron would be growing a tail faster than you could say "Naco Night."

Despite that, Ron was determined to handle this on his own. If Kim could manage Drakken and Shego without him, then surely he could manage this without her. All he had to do was believe in himself and be totally on top of his game.

Right.

So, taking a deep breath, Ron leapt into the grotto and shouted, "Okay! All monkeys and mutants FREEZE!" But the confidence he felt faded faster than a Naco Grande would've on his plate as his eyes took in the sight before him.

Monkey Fist and Gill were indeed in cahoots.

That is, if "cahoots" had suddenly taken on a new meaning.

Like shoving your slimy, toxic-laced tongue down a fellow bad guy's throat.

"OH GOOD GOD, MY EYES!" Ron screamed, throwing an arm over his face far too late.

Rufus took one look and fainted, falling off of Ron's shoulder with a soft plop.

Somehow, they both knew that they would never be the same again...

Kim burst into the hospital, only to run straight into her mother. "Mom! I just heard! Is Ron-"

"Calm down, Kimmie," Mrs. Dr. Possible said in a soothing tone, hugging her daughter gently. "I've just been in to see Ron, and he's okay. There...is a problem, though."

"He's not hurt, is he?" Kim asked desperately. "I knew I shouldn't have made him go in alone, but-"

"No, no. He's not in any pain, at least." She paused and lowered her voice. "Kimmie, have you ever heard of witnesses of a traumatic events suffering...certain symptoms?"

"Sure, but what does that have to do with Ron?"

"He refuses to talk about it, but whatever he saw tonight really did a number on him. On his eyes, I should say." Dr. Possible took her daughter's hands in her own. "Kimmie...for now, at least, I'm afraid Ron is completely blind."

Kim stared at her in shock. "WHAT?"

"There's no other way to explain what I've seen. It's as if his pupils have shrunken to the point where they're useless. It's pretty much the same for Rufus, though I'm not a vet."

It took a few seconds for this all to sink in, but Kim finally found her voice. "Isn't there anything I can do for him?"

Dr. Possible smiled. "Well, it's a good thing you don't have a problem holding his hand. He's going to need your guidance more than ever now, Kimmie. In fact, why don't you go in and say hello? He's been very worried about you."

Ron knew the darkness surrounding him was mostly due to the strip of soft cloth the doctor had wrapped around his head. He also knew that had it not been there, he probably wouldn't have known the difference. They were worried that exposure to light might worsen the condition of his eyes, though Ron couldn't see how they could get any worse than being completely useless.

Honestly, though, he was more worried about Kim. While it wasn't advisable to try and answer a Kimmunicator hail during a fight with Shego, Kim had been out of contact for a while now. Ron was dreading the worst now: the possibility of having lost his sight and his best friend for good.

But that was when a soft, familiar hand slid into his.

"KP?" Ron asked, unable to keep the excitement out of his voice.

"Hey, partner," he heard her say in a strangely hushed tone as she slid an arm around his shoulders. "How are you holding up?"

"Can't complain. At least now I can get away with wearing shades in school."

She laughed, but it was her usual laugh.

"Kim, it's not your fault. I'd rather this happened to me than you, anyway."

"How can you say that, Ron? You might never-"

Ron tried to silence her with a finger to the lips, but ended up somewhere along her cheek. "KP, don't worry about it. I'll be fine. Plenty of blind people get along okay, and I'll be one of them. No big. Really."

"You're just saying that. You don't know how hard this will be on both of us."

"KP, it's not contagious," Ron pointed out. "At least, I really hope it isn't..."

"Not what I meant, Ron. You don't expect me to just let you wander around alone, do you?"

"They have dogs for that, y'know."

"I know," Kim said, squeezing his shoulder. "And you'll have me."

"Might be kinda hard on a mission," Ron concluded.

There was a long pause.

"From now on, Ron, this is my only mission," Kim said quietly.

"Say what?" Ron asked in surprise.

"If I had been more concerned about you, this wouldn't have happened. Maybe this is life's way of telling me that I've been taking you for granted. And even if it isn't, I'm not entrusting you to anyone else. I need you to be able to depend on me."

"But I already do," Ron protested. "KP, you don't have to-"

"Yes, I do," Kim insisted. "Ron, you're my best friend, and I'm going to help you get through this. Besides, I'm with you most of the time, anyway. I'll just be holding on a little more is all."

"What about public restrooms?" Ron asked.

"Uh...I think you're on your own there, unless Rufus recovers before you do. We could just stay close to home, since you know the restrooms at school and Bueno Nacho better."

"It sounds like you've given this some thought, KP."

"Do you trust me, Ron?"

"What kind of question is that?"

"The kind I expect an answer to, actually."

"Kim, you KNOW I trust you."

"Then let me do this for you," she pleaded, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Let me be your eyes until you get better."

"But we don't know if I will get better."

Kim shrugged. "I was getting a little tired of Drakken's laugh, anyway."

"But who's going to stop him the next time?" Ron asked.

"I've given Global Justice a list of his former lairs, and they've already begun plans for plasma-resistant suits. In a few months, they won't even need me to show off my 'Kim Factor' to the agents," she teased. "They'll make it their own, and it'll be like I never stopped. No way Shego can handle more than one Kim-trained GJ agent."

Ron shook his head. "I can't ask you to give up your whole life for me, KP. It's not fair."

"Then it's a good thing you're not asking," she countered, "because I'm offering, and I expect to be taken up on that offer. And I would hardly call spending all my time with my best friend a sacrifice."

"We both know you're an action junkie. What are you going to do to get your daily thrill?"

"Once you're feeling up to it, I could try teaching you how to fight by depending on your other senses. It wouldn't be easy, but at least you'd have a weapon to work with. Wade's going to design a cane that folds into a nightstick. He got the idea from some comic book. Even if you never go on another mission, at least you can defend yourself if one of our old foes tries to take advantage of you."

Ron didn't say anyting for a long moment. Finally, he shook his head. "You're going to make me feel like crap if I say no, aren't you?"

Kim gasped. "Never! Normally, I'd just use my puppy-dog pout, but you're probably immune to it now. So I'll put it like this. Out of all the people you trust to do this, who would you rather be seen with just at school?"

Ron thought about it. No way he was going to school with his parents, or Kim's parents, or Tim and Jim. Monique would help, but she did have a job, and Ron didn't fancy spending hours at Club Banana doing nothing. Felix would help if the restrooms became a problem, but they couldn't exactly play video games together anymore. And Ron WAS around Kim a lot. Would it be that big a stretch if she were to just hold his hand every now and then? No, but people (mostly Bonnie) would talk. What if Kim never got another date because of him?

"Um...but if people see us holding hands, they might get the wrong idea, and...well..."

"I don't think it'll give them wrong idea, anymore than seeing us together, all the time, every single day has," Kim replied.

"...good point."

"If it bothers you that much, I could just hold onto your arm or shoulder. If you're worrying about Josh, don't. If he can't understand why I need to do this, then we've gone on our last date."

"You'd give up the Monkey for me?"

"Yes, I would give up Josh MANKEY for you, Ron. Believe it or not, after all these years of friendship, you've actually grown on me. Like a fungus, but a loveable one I don't mind spending most of my time with. So am I your seeing-eye person or not?"

"Okay, you win, KP."

"Great! And, um...just between us, what DID happen out there to make you go blind?"

"I don't want to risk you going deaf just by hearing it," Ron confessed. "Let's just say some things are far too horrible for any of the senses to detect..."

Endnotes: I have nothing against slash couples. Heck, I'm a Kigo fan through and through. Granted, I tend to stay away from male/male couples, as that's my preference. But I don't go around flaming or putting them down, as that's also my choice. I'm not going to give someone a bad review solely because of my opinion on a couple. (Exceptions would include if I just can't see ANY possible way that couple would be valid; even here I'm willing to say that mutated people can be drawn to each other) I'm not so naive as to expect that same courtesy when and if this story gets reviewed, but hey, maybe optimism is catching. Then again, so is toxic-laced tonsil hockey.

And Now, For Something Else That Should Never Have Been Written:

Ron's head snapped up as something cold and wet dripped onto his neck. Stifling a scream, he scrambled out of bed, just in time to avoid a volley of toxic green spit. He thumped into the wall and spun around, his heart beating like mad.

They were on the ceiling, staring at him with their beady little eyes.

Monkeys. Little green monkeys, with gills and sludge-dripping jaws.

"Ronnie," one whispered.

"Time to get toxic, squeeb," another giggled.

Ron couldn't see them, but he could hear them. And they could hear him.

But so could something else.

Cupping his hands to his mouth, Ron began to make a certain noise. A noise that made for an excellent squirrel repellant, and an even better mutant wiener dog call.

"YIPYIPYIPYIPYIP-YAPYAP-YIPYIPYIP-YAPYAPYAP!"

The sludge-riddled monkeys shrieked in surprise as a pair of mutant wiener dogs burst from the closet, frothing at the mouth and growling menacingly.

"Get 'em, Oscar and Myer!" Ron yelled. "There's a couple Naco Grandes in it for you!"

Enticed by offer of cheese-soaked chips and beef, the dogs sprang into action, chasing the toxic monkeys from the room in a flash.

Ron sighed and went back to bed, nearly slipping on sludge and wiener dog spittle twice. "I tell you, Rufus, it's getting so a guy can't even sleep around here anymore."

Rufus didn't answer. Mostly because he had also slipped in the sludge and spittle, and was now growing two extra, furry heads, and a series of wagging tails. Not that he noticed, what with Ron now sporting a monkey tail with green fins...