Chapter 4
Rhapsody showed up at her palace a week later, still as flustered and distracted as she had been in Tyrian. No one had known that she was coming and so, Meridion knowing more then most people, he was the only one there at her arrival.
"Welcome back, mother," he said as she dismounted from her roan, giving her a warm greeting hug.
"Hello Meridion, I have missed you," she answered, lingering a while in her son's embrace. It felt so good to be back, but it was also still very painful. She had left so quickly after Gwydion's death because the place reminded her of him and caused her immense pain. This was the first time that she had been back to the palace and she found that the hurt had subsided a bit, but was still there.
Meridion seemed to know what his mother was thinking. "Mother, I miss him too. He will always be with us in this place."
Rhapsody pulled from her son's arms and nodded slowly, "I know."
Turning, Meridion placed his hand on his mother's back and began to guide her toward the door. "I have missed you also in dealing with the counsel; they have been quite testy since father's departure and then your sudden disappearance."
"Oh Meridion, I'm so sorry. I knew that I shouldn't have left you alone to deal with them, but I just couldn't stay here a moment longer."
Smiling sadly, he quickly replied, "I know, I know. I wasn't blaming you for leaving. You had a lot that you needed to work out and this place was not the place to do that. It was too full of memories as well as absent of the one that you needed the most."
Rhapsody stopped for a moment. Meridion continued walking for a few steps before turning back to her, a questioning glance in his eye.
"I can't believe how selfish I have been. Not only did I drive my husband to have me kill him, but I haven't thought about how you might feel because of all of this."
"Mother, I told you from the beginning that I knew what you would do and what would happen before I ever left. I could have stopped all of it from ever happening, but I knew, despite the pain that it would cause all of us, that more good than bad would come of it. You and Achmed were always meant to be together. Somehow, I have always known this and I can't stop thinking that somehow it is my fault that you are not. Father was ready to leave us and it would have been a struggle and agony for him to stay with us any longer. And even your kidnapping turned out to be good since it forced Achmed and Gwydion to chase the F'dor and slay it. Everything that happened has been for the better. How can I be angry or upset with you about events that were out of your control?"
"But they weren't! Sure, my capture and the events that took place because of that were out of my control, but I could have returned to the palace after that. I chose to go to Ylorc. It was my choice to ignore the marriage vows that I had taken, which ultimately drove your father to his death. Nothing after the death of the F'dor was out of my control. I held all the cards and I played poorly. And what kind of mother am I that in my decision making that I never thought about how I was affecting my son? In one brief moment, I became the type of person that I loath. A whoring, unthinking, unfit mother," she concluded as she began to slowly dissolve into battled tears.
Meridion quickly returned to her side, bringing her once again into his arms as he tried to reassure her. "Shh… Mother, please don't do this to yourself. You have not been any of those things. You have acted with your heart and even if your heart caused pain in others, it could not be thought of as wrong. To act purely from the heart is what you have always taught me that I should do; don't take that lesson back now."
Still fighting back the unwanted saline that threatened to outpour, Rhapsody lifted her head slightly to look into her son's eyes. She stared deep into them for some time, hoping to find that his words were true. Finally, she determined that all he had told her was the truth, but even still she knew she could never feel completely at ease with her actions. She knew that she must accept what she did and where she was now, but the regret for hurting the ones she loves will always be there. Still, she knew that, even though she would always hurt, she didn't need to worry about what her son thought of her, he still loved her and that was all that she needed right then.
"Thank you Meridion. I needed to hear that and I know that you are not just saying that to make me feel better, you truly do believe that."
Smiling down at his mother he said, "That is another thing that you taught well, always tell the truth." Then, giving his mother another comforting squeeze, he turned once again and with one arm still around her, led her through the entrance of the palace.
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"It's so good to have you back with us again Lady Rhapsody, we could really use your gift of soothing tempers and nerves here," a counsel member said to the Lady as her first counsel meeting began since the death of her husband.
Sighing, Rhapsody said, "I know, Bartak. I should have been here sooner, but I had many things that needed to be taken care of outside of the Alliance. But I am here now."
"And for that we are grateful."
"Now, what is the first thing that we need to discuss today?" The Lady asked.
The counselors looked one to another for a moment before looking back to her in awkward silence.
Rhapsody looked to each one, wondering what was going on that these people would so suddenly become silent.
"Well, what is it?"
Another moment of silence passed before Meridion cleared his throat to respond. "Though these fine men have been rather tight lipped about the matter while you have been gone, I believe I know what it is that they wish to discuss."
Turning to her son, Rhapsody asked, "And what would that be?"
"They wish to know what your plans are for a new marriage and if I am to continue to be the Lord if you do decide to remarry."
The only indication that Meridon's comments angered the Lady was the suddenly flash of brilliant green in her eyes and quick flush of red to her cheeks. That and the fire in the fire place gave a start, consuming a larger quantity of timber than it had previously been burning through.
Other than these reactions, Rhapsody's demeanor and voice didn't change in the slightest as she turned back to the counsel and asked, "Is this true?"
Slowly and cautiously, every man around the table nodded their head in affirmation. Bartak cleared his throat and braved a response to the Lady. "Your majesty, we feel that, though this may seem like a rather sudden thing to be considering so soon after your husband's death, you must admit that the alliance is more than a little unstable now. We feel that it would be better to know for certain who is in charge and who, if anyone, is going to have an influence over those in charge. There is a general sense of unrest in the land right now with their one of their rulers suddenly gone."
Taking a moment to breathe, Rhapsody slowly and carefully responded, "I currently have no intention of remarrying. I am currently seeing the Bolg king, King Achmed, but we have decided that a marriage is out of the question between us. As for Meridion, his position as Lord is out of our hands in a little under two months. The moot will be held then and the people will elect who they wish to be Lord along side of me. Meridion knew from the start that his position may be only temporary as someone was needed to fill Gwydion's place until the next moot."
The counsel all looked at Rhapsody as if she had just said the last things that they had ever expected to hear. None of them had even thought that with the moot so close they would use it to democratically elect the next Lord Cymarian. And the announcement that Rhapsody was "seeing" the Bolg king was so distant in anyone's mind that they were all shocked into sudden silence once again.
Looking around at each and every one of the counsel members, Rhapsody dared any of them to contest what she had just told them. All of them should have known that the only way to have a true new Lord Cymrian would be to elect one at the next moot. And to hell with any of them who would tell her who she could and could not see.
It was Meridion who broke the awkward silence suddenly. "Well," he began with a smile. "Now that this issue is obviously settled, why don't we move on the next item on our agenda today? I believe that that would be preparations for the fast approaching moot."
Sudden reanimation hit the counsel as they all jumped at the welcomed change in subject.
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It was sometime afterward that the counsel broke up for the day, leaving Rhapsody and Meridion alone, sipping on Dol Mwr beside the fireplace.
"I am truly glad that I have at least you on my side in these matters Meridion," Rhapsody voiced.
Meridion simply nodded. A far off look glazed across his eyes. Rhapsody had caught him looking this way several times during the meeting and was seriously wondering what it was that he was thinking about, or maybe even seeing.
"Meridion, what is it? You have been fading in and out now for some time."
Shaking himself, Meridion turned and looked his mother in the eyes. "I'm not sure what is wrong, that is the problem."
"What do you mean?"
"I have been trying now for months to look at what is going to happen at the moot. At first it was because I was curious if I was to be elected as the new Lord. But now…" He trailed off as his gaze unfocused once again.
"Meridion? Meridion, what is it?" Rhapsody was beginning to be rather frightened by the tone and demeanor her son was giving her.
Again, Meridion seemed to come back to himself as he began to explain. "I'm not sure if I have ever really tried to explain what it is that I see when I look into the future, Mother, but I think now is the time to try."
Looking back at her son, Rhapsody simply nodded, knowing that something very important was happening and that she must now devote all of her concentration on what her son had to say.
Taking a deep breath to order his thoughts, Meridion began, "Looking into the future is always very different from looking to the past or even at the present. The past is set, it cannot be changed, new choices cannot be made. With the present, you can't really see where anything is going or where it came from, so choices and changes in things are hard to see. It is when you look into the future that things become difficult to determine.
You see, the future is not yet set. At least, our particular future is not set. The problem is that at any time a choice is presented in the present, the outcome of that choice will affect the future. And, because a choice could go either way, many times the future splits and two different time lines are born. This really is somewhat rare, despite the multitude of choices that are made every single moment of every single day. But in most cases, a choice is set in stone; it is so obvious that really time has no choice but to flow in one direction. But, sometimes, a choice or a situation has the possibility to go either way, or even, in multiple directions. When this happens, more than one time line will exist.
'Do you follow me so far?"
Rhapsody looked back at her son, thinking that she may have some understanding at least in the theory of what he was saying but she wasn't sure if she understood the principle of his words. "Are you saying that at this moment, there may be an entirely different set of us having this conversation in a different time line?"
"Sort of. Though, that may be possible, it is very unlikely. You see, the situations that cause a change in a time line are usually so large that similar instances between each line are not very likely. For example, say that if you had been unable to slay the first F'dor that you encountered. If you had, instead, become a Thrall to it and it had been allowed to live and carry out its mission of destruction, do you think that we would be having this conversation?"
"No, in fact, you probably would never have even been born."
"Exactly. These instances of pivotal change stick out like cross roads along the time line. Each one will branch out into two or more different paths. When I look down this timeline, I am only able to see the path that I am currently traveling. I am unable to look into anything that has not happened, or will happen for me. Are you still with me?"
"I think so; you are only capable of seeing one reality. You cannot see what would have happened or might have happened if an outcome of a choice or situation was different."
"Correct. Now because of this, when one of these forks in time occurs in the future, I cannot see what outcome will become of it. When time doesn't know which way its path will continue to flow, it bottles up; it simply will not flow beyond that point until we have reached it. Our choices determine what path it will follow. And so, since time has not actually been written beyond that point, I am unable to see what is to happen."
Taking all this confusing information in, Rhapsody sat in thought for a moment. She was sure that she understood the ideas that Meridion was explaining to her, but she was not sure why it was that he was explaining it to her in the first place. Slowly and uncertainly, she began. "I think I understand. But, are you saying that one of these forks in time is coming up, that there is a point coming that will fracture the timeline?"
Slowly, Meridion nodded. "Yes. For sometime now, I have been completely been unable to look beyond this up coming moot. Many things are converging on that point in time putting too much stress on time itself for it to know where it is to go."
"This moot, the meeting that is to take place in less than two months, is going to be one of the rarely occurring spots in time that could change everything?"
"I'm afraid so. Either that or I have lost my ability to see into time. And since I can see the events leading up to the moot and all that has happened in the past and is happening in the present, I would guess that this is not the case."
Putting a hand to her temple, Rhapsody sat back in her chair as she allowed the impact of the situation to wash over her. Something was going to happen at this moot and there was no way to know what it was. The entire future of her people was to be decided at this one event and there seemed no way to prepare for it.
Reading her thoughts, Meridion said gently, "There really is nothing that we can do about this. The best we can do is keep our eyes open and hope that we make the right decisions. Other than that, all we can do is ride this river of time as far as it will allow us."
"I never realized before how much of a burden your gift was until now. I almost wish that I had never known about this. If there is nothing that can be done for it, then ignorance almost seems better."
"So it seems at times, but it is yet another choice that has been taken from us. Time determined that I should be allowed to look upon it to a certain point. I am bound to report what it is that I am allowed to see and no more. Time is the most fickle of the elements, and the most volatile. We must tread carefully from here."